Stumbling
Chapter 8 - True Colors
Joey watched Dawson exit the car and she let out a sigh of relief. She'd been waiting for the last forty-five minutes for him and was wondering if he'd completely forgotten her.
Then she saw Jen appear from the passenger side and all was, unfortunately, cleared up.
She had been able to convince Dawson to meet with her on Sundays to try to build back the friendship they had. It had been understood, at least to her, that it was supposed to be just her and Dawson, like old times. It's not that she wanted to cause trouble for him and Jen; in fact, she grew to like the influence the blonde had in his recovery from his father's death.
Unfortunately, Dawson seemed to be the only one who might listen to her. But he wasn't alone - either today or, lately, in life.
Joey feigned enthusiasm as they approached her. “Jen! What a surprise!”
“Well, I keep hearing about this damn place,” pointing to the rustic cabin. “I suppose the food is better than the outside appears.”
“Don’t judge a book,” Dawson scolded her. “That’s part of its charm.”
Joey drawled out, “I found this place awhile ago. Kind of our little secret.”
Dawson raised an eyebrow at Joey’s choice of words. “It’s hardly a secret. We’ve gone a couple of times when there wasn’t an empty seat.”
“Uh uh.” Jen muttered. “Let’s enter before this is one of those times.”
They entered and sat down at one of the benches. Dawson couldn’t figure out why Joey wanted to come here. He usually suggested this place but Joey hated it because it was ‘too Capeside’.
Dawson observed Joey examining the crowded eatery for someone. It wasn’t the waitress, who appeared immediately to take their order.
Jen noted Joey’s distracted manner. She whispered to Dawson, “Is there a particular guy she’s waiting for?”
“None that I know of.”
Finally, Joey saw the person she was interested in. He dropped off an order at another table then headed for the kitchen. She had prepared for the possibility that he’d be working this day. Joey was relieved that, if she had to suffer with this food, at least the purpose was here.
After about fifteen minutes of watching him go back and forth to tables, Jen snickered, “He’s not a bad guy to have a crush on.”
Joey rolled her eyes in disgust. Jen apparently hadn’t met him yet, strange since she was supposedly such good friends with Jack. She’d have thought that Jen would have bugged Jack to meet the mystery guy he’s dating. “I’m not interested in him. I just want to ask him something.”
Dawson turned around to see the commotion. “Oh yeah. He was our waiter last time. You were annoyed with him acting like a stand-up comic.” He laughed, “Now it’s making sense!”
Joey protested, “That’s not the story! If you had any idea who he was, you wouldn’t even joke about that.” She spotted the guy proceeding toward the bathroom and saw her opportunity. She stood up quickly. “I’ll be right back.”
She waited for him to exit the bathroom. She didn’t give him a chance to move as she slammed him against the door.
“Get the hell away from me!” Shawn shouted. “Someone call 9-1...” Joey shut him up with a furious kiss. She turned the knob with one hand and they both fell into the bathroom.
He scampered as far away from her as possible in the enclosed space. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Sorry about the kiss.” She straightened up and fixed her now-rumpled shirt. “No officers needed. Though it’s reassuring that you’re not the only one who can surprise someone, Shawn.”
He stared at her, trying to remember where they could have met before. Besides being a customer here, of course. It wasn’t as if he’d had a girlfriend in years. Where could he have encountered such a weird young lady? Then he thought back to the word ‘surprise’ and knew instantly the time. “You’re…you’re that girl who was with Pacey?”
“I need your help and there’s no other way I could get you.” She wondered how he knew Pacey’s name but not hers.
“Asking Jack for my phone number would have been too fucking obvious?”
“Can’t involve Jack. This is between you and me. See, I figured since you’re now dating him…”
Shawn read the way this odd girl was acting and played a hunch. “No, I’m not. He’s back with the ex.”
Joey did a double take. “Tobey’s back in the picture?” There weren’t exactly many exes to pick from when it came to Jack.
“Who? No, Pacey.”
She laughed, “Oh yeah. Pacey. Very funny.”
“Why’s that funny? Normally, I’m trying for a laugh but you’ve scared it out of me.”
Joey adamantly stated, “Jack and Pacey never dated. They only pretended once for a critic. That’s all that happened!”
He held back a smile, now certain that this girl was an ex-girlfriend of Pacey’s. There was no other reason she would use these methods, unless she was psychotic. “Maybe so but he acted like an ex the day I kissed Jack. So it was inevitable that they’d unite, or reunite, whatever.”
“That’s impossible! Pacey’s a ladies’ man!”
“I’d guess he’s a man for all,” Shawn corrected.
To Joey, there was only one explanation for such silliness. “Jack’s out of his mind. You have to know that there’s a history in his family involving delusions. Just because he pushed you away doesn’t mean he’s not interested…”
Shawn held a hand up and interjected, “Would you just shut up?” She did as told, surprised that he’d dare talk to her like that. “There’s only one person here into mind fucking and it’s not Jack. If this is your twisted way to get Pacey to return to you, it’s pathetic. I only kissed Jack to piss Pacey off but that was only a joke. Everyone else seems to have realized it except for you.”
Joey found herself practically shouting, “What the hell is wrong with you?” She then controlled her voice, afraid of being heard outside the room. “How dare you insult me! You don’t know a thing about my life. I’m trying to look out for my friends, obviously being manipulated by you…”
“You’re friends with Jack? Could have fooled me. Why are you trying to trash him in the process?”
“I am not! I’m just looking out for Pacey’s well being! Jack’s been acting strange and I’m a little concerned.”
“Uh uh,” Shawn answered incredulously. “Look, um…what’s your name?”
She did a double take, amazed that somehow he didn’t know. “Joey.”
“Okay, look Joey. It’s clear that you don’t really know your friends very well. What you should try to do is reconnect with these people. You can say any bullshit you want about me since you can assume anything. You don’t know me any better than I know you. I can see that you’re resorting to slander to get closer to your goal. I don’t understand the dynamic of your past relationship with Pacey but I’m sure that’s a factor. Whatever the hell is occurring in your little triangle has nothing to do with me.” Joey clenched her hands into fists. The color was starting to drain from her face as fury took over. “Running away from the truth won’t make it fade away.” He pushed past her, toward the exit. “I have to get back to my shift. Goodbye, Joey.”
She said under her breath, “What the hell did Jack ever see in you?”
“Maybe you should stop kissing unavailable guys.” The slam of the door echoed through the small bathroom. Joey slumped against the door, wondering how the hell she ended up in this position.
* * * * *
Pacey drove past Grams’ house after work. Only one car was in the driveway: Jack’s. He hadn’t planned to stop by because he’d already dealt with a long shift. It was too inviting an opportunity for him to pass up. He parked in front of the house and headed for the front door, ringing the doorbell.
When the door opened, Jack appeared. Seeing that it was Pacey, Jack bit his lip to keep from breaking out into a wide grin. He couldn’t help but marvel at how nervous Pacey appeared. Not too surprising since Jack was the one to cut their previous time short.
Pacey bounced from foot to foot, staring down at his shoes. He squeaked out, “Hi there.”
Jack gave him a comforting smile, knowing that Pacey couldn’t see his expression. “Long day in the kitchen?”
Pacey stared at the work shirt he hadn’t considered changing from, despite the stains from sauce splattering from cooking on a too-high gas. “Yeah. Um, so, did you…did you talk to him yet?”
“Well, if you mean Dawson, yeah, it’s kind of unavoidable…”
That finally got Pacey’s attention to Jack. “Why would I mean Dawson?” He glanced up to see Jack’s expression, and realize the sole purpose was to get him to look up.
“Habit, I suppose.” Jack shrugged. “Either Shawn was devastated over the news and opted to cry himself to sleep…or he didn’t particularly give a shit and actually suggested we double date sometime.”
Pacey couldn’t help but laugh at Jack’s nonchalant tone. “I’m thankful for the latter. Even though I’m more inclined to believe the former.” He snaked an arm around Jack’s waist and drew him closer. “How could he not see it?”
“Friends don’t see that.” He captured Pacey’s gaze, squarely on him, and amended, “They don’t normally.” Jack punctuated that remark with a light kiss.
Pacey’s breath was caught in his throat, almost not sure this was happening. He was convinced that Jack had been seeking any excuse to take time to think about the situation. Apparently, what Jack said that night was all he meant.
“How did you manage to get the house to yourself anyway?” Pacey couldn’t help but be a little anxious about possibly being interrupted.
“If you really want to know,” Jack said, “Dawson usually goes out for Sunday dinners with Joey. Catch-up time for them. Grams went to a benefit dinner and tried to get Jen to join her. As a result, she begged Dawson to let her tag along. I doubt they’ll be gone long once Joey realizes the change.”
Joey. The still lingering problem. Pacey wanted to be certain of what to say to her. “I suppose that means that we shouldn’t hang around here, with the wide-open door.”
“I suppose.” Jack nodded. “If you’re concerned about that, we can always bring this upstairs.” Upon realizing exactly what he said, Jack blushed and broke away from the embrace. “That’s not the way I meant that to sound.”
Pacey gave a smug grin, thankful that he wasn’t the only one seeing this as an awkward situation. “Actually, it sounded like a good plan to me. I’ve been wanting to raid that large CD collection Jen has now that she’s got access to the station’s vast array.” He didn’t give Jack a chance to reply before darting up the stairs.
Jack shook his head as he climbed up the stairs. He wasn’t prepared for Pacey to be standing at the top of the staircase, leaning against the wall while staring at his watch.
“Fifteen seconds. You can make better time than that.” Pacey looked up, his eyes lighting up. “I thought you ran every day.”
“You’re just determined to wreck this moment, aren’t you?”
“Is it my fault you can’t keep up?” He headed for Jen’s room, determined to start the search.
Jack smirked as he followed him, “I don’t think I’m the one going to have that problem.” He found Pacey flipping through a stack of CDs on Jen’s desk.
Pacey stopped when he reached a mix CD labeled D+J. He snickered, “I can’t believe Dawson makes mix tapes for his girl.”
Jack stood behind Pacey, looking over his shoulder at the CD, and scrunched his nose. “His music taste is rather, um, weak. Hopefully, he selected from what Jen swiped.”
“Or worse,” Pacey pointed out. “It could be from Doug’s diva collection. Should we venture into their creepy world?”
Jack sighed, “ I don’t care. You seem to be so interested. I doubt you’d be satisfied until you go through with the torture.” They exited the room and went into Jack’s room. Jack searched through his desk until he found his Walkman and tossed it to Pacey.
Pacey took the headphones and lied back on the bed. Jack sat down at the desk, watching Pacey singing along to whatever song he’d hear.
Or, more accurately, Pacey making up words to the songs that were more interesting. “I wish I had more time with you, than the moments we steal in the aaaah-ttic,” he sang. “If Grams only knew it was more than stuuuuu-diiiii-ing. I wish you knew that my love for you, only rivaled that for Kate Hudddd-son.” Pacey threw the headphones off quickly. “You couldn’t get more mushy. Jen so should have kicked his ass by now. What ever happened to that girl who wouldn’t take bullshit from any guy.”
“I think that died the night she admitted to fall for Drue Valentine’s charms. After that, everything went downhill.”
Pacey raised an eyebrow. “When did that happen?”
“He was already gone when I found out. Summer is a good time for longing what you can’t have.” Jack turned his back to Pacey, knowing he probably should have kept his mouth shut.
“Experience there?”
“Well, I would say yes except that you’re here now. So it’s not quite applicable.”
Pacey grinned as he sat up. “I guess I should have been spending more summers in Capeside.”
“That’s not funny.” Though even Jack couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of this confession.
Jack turned back around to see that Pacey seriously wanted to hear this story. Pacey patted down on the spot next to him on the bed. Jack walked over and sat down. “Thinking back, though, it probably was better that I wasn’t around then. It wouldn’t make me the lovable beast you see before you.”
“I don’t see that. Beast, okay, I’ll agree with that part. But lovable?” Jack rested his hand on the bed, grazing Pacey’s finger in the process. “That was a strange time. I thought at first it was all connected to wishing I hadn’t been stupid enough to be interested in Ethan. What you and Joey had back then was such a fairy tale. You gave her a wall, asked her to stay and was able to sail off into the sunset with the girl.”
Pacey chuckled, “While you had to put up with Dawson complaining about that day after day while painting those houses.”
“Yeah. That too. At first, it was wishing I had someone like that, to do that type of stuff for me. But it kind of became something more. Sad and pathetic, basically, but it helped pass the time.”
“Why do you say that? It’s not sad.” He weaved his fingers between Jack’s, comforting him.
“Until about a month ago, you were about as attainable to me as somebody in a magazine. This was not a prospect to consider. I still wonder how real all of this is. It feels more like a dream.”
“Speaking of a dream, I was wondering if it would be possible to stay here for a little while. It was a long shift and I’m too comfortable here to leave.” Rather than wait for a response, Pacey collapsed back against the bed and pretended to fall asleep.
“Why do I feel like I keep getting kicked out of my own room to sleep?” Jack wondered aloud.
He started to get up when he felt an arm wrap around his waist. Pacey pulled Jack down next to him. “I never said I wanted you to leave.”
“You realize everyone will be returning any moment.”
“I don’t care. If I’m going to fall asleep here, I don’t want the other side to be empty.” Pacey nuzzled his head against Jack’s shoulder and brushed a few kisses along his neck. “Besides, wouldn’t it be nice if you have a dream about me and to wake up to find it coming true?”
Jack turned his head to face Pacey, greeting him by softly brushing his lips to Pacey’s. “That’s true.” In the back of his mind, Jack knew that it would be close to a given that Jen, at least, would find them together. But if Pacey didn’t give a damn, Jack knew he had no reason to be concerned.
* * * * *
Dawson was driving, watching Joey in the rear view mirror. Since she went chasing after the waiter, she’d been acting very strange. Joey had been quiet, not really paying attention to anything Dawson or Jen had said. That didn’t keep Jen from trying to carry out a conversation with her. “I bet when you return to the dorm, you’ll have your nose buried in some literature.”
Joey informed her curtly, “I finished that assignment yesterday.”
“Of course,” Jen sighed. “I forget you’re one of those freaks who finishes assignments early. I suppose I should get started sometime tonight. Maybe. Possibly.”
Dawson interjected, “You know you won’t.”
As the couple continued teasing each other, Joey’s mind drifted to what she’d be dealing with shortly. Audrey was likely home, finishing homework due the next day. Joey wasn’t particularly interested in talking to her. She’d probably made enough mistakes in dealing with her roommate and tonight would be another one of those if she wasn’t careful.
There was only one thing she wanted to do right now. She needed to see Pacey, be assured that Shawn was a trouble-making idiot who wanted to antagonize her.
Joey blurted out, “Could you drop me off at Pacey’s instead? It’s easier for you to get to your place and I need to talk to him.”
Jen and Dawson exchanged looks. Dawson shrugged. “Sure, Joey. Are you sure he’ll be there? I don’t want to drop you off someplace unless he’s home.”
“Look, he’s just finished a rather long shift at the restaurant. All he’s going to want to do is drop on a bed and fall asleep within ten minutes of getting home. I’m more concerned about waking him than whether he’ll be there. It’s an emergency.”
Dawson wasn’t particularly interested in hearing Joey plead her case any longer. He was just relieved she was finally saying something. “Fine, Jo. Spend all night sitting in front of his apartment door for all I care. I just hope you use that time to figure out exactly what damage you’re causing by talking to him.”
Part 9
Back to Index