Mr. Mom

Summer 1976

Rollin was tired of sleeping in the guest room and his frustration over where his relationship with Cinnamon was going was growing. She was seeing this doctor.  Was he just supposed to accept the fact that she was seeing someone else while they lived under the same roof?  He had apologized repeatedly for the girl in New York and now she flaunted her relationship with the doctor in front of both him and Jennifer. Maybe he had just become ‘Jennifer’s father’.  She certainly had kept her distance since April when he had last visited. 

She had at least told him something about her plans to go back to work with Jim.  She was excited as she finished preparations for her trip, her first step back into ‘the game’.  Although he didn’t know all the details, he knew she was focused on her task ahead and she was ready for the challenge. 

When she had asked him to stay, he thought maybe she had come around and was ready to take him back. He was ready to come home. His disappointment had shown when she sent him to the guest room instead of her bed. 

On Wednesday morning, Cinnamon once again explained to Jennifer that she would call as often as possible.  Rollin understood the need for secrecy and given time she hoped he would help Jennifer to understand.

Rollin marveled at the modest amount of luggage that sat in the foyer awaiting Cinnamon’s departure. He opened the door to the study where she was finishing her preparations.  “Hey.”  He said closing the door behind him. “Everything ready?” He asked.

She looked up from her paperwork.  “I think so.” 

“You’re traveling pretty light.”  He observed with a nod toward the foyer.

“I’m not exactly sure what I’m in for, so I decided to keep it simple.”

He nodded as he stood beside her and leaned back against her desk.  “You’re excited.”  He said.

She pushed back in her chair and looked up at him with a smile.  “I am.” 

“It’s good to see you like this again.”  He said sincerely.

“Like what?”

He smiled, admiring her. “You’ve always had a certain…confidence when you were preparing for an assignment.”  He remembered all the times they had prepared together.  He hoped that she wouldn’t ignore the reference.

“Oh?” 

He nodded as he met her eyes.  “I like that.” 

Her eyes never left his and she smiled.  “Then I should have done it sooner.”

“Maybe so.” He replied.  “Do you have any idea where you’ll be?”  He asked knowing she would be leaving soon.

“Some, but you know I can’t talk about it, especially with you.” She teased.

“I had clearance once you know.” He recalled.

She smiled as she stood from her chair and closed her satchel, letting the comment go. “I suppose I’d better see to my things, the car will be here soon.”

He nodded, remembering how much he had missed her on those rare occasions when they had not been on missions together.  But the present situation was already a far different experience from those years. 

“Cinnamon.”  He said seriously, coming off the edge of the desk. “I want you to be careful.”  He continued as he reached for her arms.

She looked up at him and nodded.  “I will be. You know that.”  She said as she allowed him to draw her into his embrace, wrapping his arms about her.

“I do love you.”  He spoke softly against her ear as he hugged her tight. It was the most physical contact they had shared in months and it felt wonderful to him.  He met her eyes as he pulled away then gently kissed her lips. Her hands slipped up his arms as they held their kiss. 

Outside a black sedan moved up the drive. 

She touched his face as they parted, hearing the horn of the waiting car.  “Take care of Jen.”  She said softly.

It was unlike any goodbye they had said before. Normally they would have spent the night before saying good-bye in bed. This time neither knew where their relationship was headed.  He reluctantly released her.  She gathered her satchel and purse and he opened the door from the study for her as Jennifer bounded down the stairs. 

“Mom!”  She called, having heard the car’s horn.

Cinnamon watched her energetic daughter come across the room.  “I found a picture for your trip.”

Cinnamon smiled.  Jennifer had photographs of everything and everybody.

Jennifer handed Cinnamon the picture.  It captured the three of them by the pool from the past summer.  “So you don’t forget about us.” She explained. 

Cinnamon’s heart went to her throat. “I won’t forget Jen.”  She replied moving Jen’s hair from her eyes and behind her ears. Cinnamon knowing glance signaled Rollin as she slipped the photo into her jacket pocket.

Maria let the driver in the front door to collect Cinnamon’s bags. 

The threesome made their way to the foyer. “I’m gonna miss you Mommy.”  Jennifer said sadly.

Cinnamon squatted down in front of her daughter.  “I’m going to miss you too Sweetheart.  You take good care of Daddy and Maria for me, okay?”  Jennifer nodded as Cinnamon hugged her tight then kissed her cheek. 

Rollin came forward taking Jennifer’s hand, “Shall we see Mom to the car?”  He asked.

Jennifer nodded. She was being very brave. This was the first time Cinnamon would be leaving her for an extended period and she really didn’t understand why. 

Cinnamon paused to hug Maria goodbye. Maria knew some of the reasons why Cinnamon was leaving and she was glad that Rollin was going to be there to make it easier on Jennifer. The unhappy threesome followed Cinnamon outside.

The driver waited, taking Cinnamon’s satchel and purse and placing them in the back seat of the car.  He then maintained his position beside the open rear door.

“Mommy.  Call us when you get there.”  Jennifer said, stating their well-known routine when they traveled.

Cinnamon looked down at her daughter.  “Remember what I told you, Sweetheart. I’ll call when I can. It may be a little while. You understand that?” 

Jennifer nodded, but she didn’t really understand. 

Cinnamon felt a cold hand grip her heart as she stood with them. ‘How could she leave her child for two months?’ She thought.  She had been preparing herself for this moment, but the guilt she experienced was much more intense than what she had imagined it would be.  She hugged both of them and kissed both Jennifer and Rollin’s cheeks.  “I love you,” she told them.  As Rollin hugged her, he quickly palmed the photo from her jacket pocket.  Jennifer wouldn’t understand why Cinnamon couldn’t’ risk endangering her by taking a family photo on her trip.

They watched as she walked to the car and climbed into the backseat.  The driver shut her door and her window came down immediately.

Jennifer’s brave face crumbled and she buried her head against Rollin’s hip and he quickly pulled her up into his arms and she hid her face on his shoulder.

He stroked her back to soothe her tears. 

Rollin saw Cinnamon’s hand cover her mouth as the car moved down the drive.  He knew how difficult it must be for her.  She had never been separated from Jennifer for any length of time. 

Rollin held Jen tight.  “Come on Sweetheart, let’s go inside.” He comforted his daughter.  Maria followed behind them, sorry for Jennifer’s tears. 

A week later, Jennifer stood beside the bed, shaking Rollin’s arm to wake him up.  “Daddy.”  She whispered. 

His eyes cracked open, and he saw her standing there in her pj’s. 

“What’s the matter, Sweetheart?”  He asked, looking at her.

“I miss Mommy.”  She pouted.

He met her eyes with a smile.  ‘So do I’, he thought. 

“Come here Honey.”  He said reaching out to her and pulled her across the bed to lie next to him. 

He rolled up on his side so they were facing each other. “Do you miss Mommy?”  She asked.

“Very much.”  He replied honestly.

“Where is she?”  She asked.

“On a trip.”

She gave him her ‘l know that’ look.  “Where?” She asked.

“I’m not really sure. Remember she told us that she couldn’t tell us everywhere she was going.”

Jennifer considered his answer.  “It’s a big secret.” She whispered.

He smiled.  “Yeah a big secret, just for us.”

Jennifer leaned back against her mother’s pillows.  “Can we have a secret too, Daddy?”

“Like what?”

“The movie we’re working on.”

“She knows about that Honey.”

“She doesn’t know everything Daddy.” 

Rollin laughed. ‘You’d be surprised.’ He thought.

“We’ll come up with something Sweetheart, I’m sure.”

“K, Daddy.”  She replied relaxing into the pillows.

“Now, you should get back to your own bed.” He didn’t want her getting too comfortable. He knew Cinnamon’s rules.

“But I don’t want you to be by yourself, Daddy.” 

“I’ll be okay Honey.” Rollin smiled at his daughter. “Come on.” He said moving from the bed. “Let’s get you tucked in.”  

Together they walked back to her bedroom and he tucked her back into bed.  Rollin sighed as he closed her bedroom door. 

He walked back to the master bedroom. He missed Cinnamon too.  He had to wonder just where she was and what she was up to and with whom. It bothered him not knowing where she was. It had been seven years since they had worked together.  ‘Did he miss it?’  He wondered.  Certainly, not like she did.  The IMF had given her an independence that very few women experienced.  

The rest of the summer would be busy for Rollin.  In addition to a small role in a feature film, his agent had negotiated a deal for Rollin to direct his first feature film in Europe in the autumn. It would be a film of the play he had directed and starred in New York last year.  If he played the cards right, it could launch a whole new career for him.  He had a lot of work to do.  Of course, when he had agreed to stay with Jennifer, he hadn’t realized he would be balancing his schedule against Jennifer’s busy social calendar all summer.

The pre-production work for his film kept him busy. He and Jennifer shared laughs as she continually scanned the storyboards and script revisions, interjecting all her six-year old wisdom.

They spent July 4^th at the Collier’s. They planned a big cookout to celebrate the bicentennial.  Rollin thought Paula had invited the whole neighborhood.  Jennifer was in heaven with new friends to make and Rollin headed to the grill in search of Barney.  “Anywhere a guy can get a beer around here?”  He called as Barney was flipping hamburgers. 

“’Bout time you got here.”  Barney responded.  “I was going to send Willy after you two.  The beer is in the cooler.” He added pointing the spatula over his shoulder.

Rollin gave him smile and went for a beer. 

“So how you two doing?”  Barney said as Rollin returned with beer in hand. 

“Fine.  If you like being a taxi driver.” 

Barney smiled. “Join the club.”  He said taking a pull on his own beer.  “At least you only have one to transport.”

“Rollin Hand!”  Paula exclaimed as she brought more hotdogs.  “When did you get here?” 

“Just now.”  He said kissing her cheek. 

“Where’s Jen?”  She asked.

“Out there with the brood.”  He pointed toward the children playing in the yard.  “Did you invite the whole neighborhood?”

“I think she did. I’ve cooked enough food to feed a small army.”

Paula slapped Barney’s arm affectionately.  “I didn’t hear any objections when the invites went out did I?” She left them for the kitchen.

Rollin shook his head as she left. He was enjoyed Paula’s enthusiasm for a party.  “You do put on a good barbeque, Barn.” He pulled a hotdog from the plate of cooked wieners.  “You better make sure your daughter gets one of those too.”  Barney scolded.

“Thanks Mom.”

Barney laughed. 

“Speaking of.  Do you know anything of Cinnamon’s whereabouts?”   Rollin asked.

Barney shook his head.  “Nope, Jim’s pretty tight-lipped on that one.  Besides, if I told you, I’d have to kill you.” 

Rollin frowned.  “Funny.”

Barney laughed as Rollin left him to join the party.

The cookout at Barney and Paula’s was fun for the both of them. An exhausted Jennifer slept on the drive home.  The phone was ringing when Rollin, who was carrying Jennifer, stepped inside the kitchen from the garage.   It was nearly ten p.m. as he picked up the phone.  “Hello.”

“Rollin.”

His smile was genuine. “Cinnamon.”

Jennifer heard the name.  “Mom?”  She asked raising her head from his shoulder.

“We just walked in from Barney’s.”  He explained.

“It’s late. Must have been some cookout.” 

“You know Paula and her parties.” 

“Daddy, can I talk to Mom?”  Jennifer asked reaching for the phone.

He gave her the phone and sat her on the counter next to it.  “Hi Mommy!  We were at Aunt Paula’s and Uncle Barney’s.  We had sparklers and saw the fireworks.  It was fun.” 

“Sounds like it.”

“It was! And Daddy did his magic tricks for us.”

“He did?” 

“Yep. But just the best ones.” She clarified.

Rollin frowned as he listened to her.

“Mommy. Where are you?” 

“I’m working, Sweetie.”

“Jen…” Rollin interrupted.

“I forgot… it’s a secret.”  She whispered.

“It’s okay Honey.  Can I talk to Dad for a minute?”

“Okay Mommy.  I love you.”  She said before passing the phone to Rollin. 

“I love you, baby. Goodnight.” 

“Hey.”  He said as Jennifer took his hand to climb off the counter.

“This is a pleasant surprise.”  He pointed Jen upstairs.  “How are you?”  He asked watching Jen leave.

“Fine.” 

“Flights okay.”

“Fine.”  She nodded as she sat in the London hotel room.  “I really appreciate you being there Rollin, you know that.” 

“We’re fine, Sweetheart.  She’s fine.  She misses you and is already marking off the days until school starts.” 

“I miss both of you too.”  She said.

She said both of you.  He wanted to say more. It was too risky in so many ways. “You just take of yourself, that’s all I ask.”

“I’ve always been careful.”  She reassured him.

“Yeah, but I was usually there too.” He reminded her.

Cinnamon smiled.  ‘Was he just a little jealous perhaps?’  She thought.  “I’ll be alright.  Kiss Jen goodnight for me.”

“I will.  Goodnight.”

“Bye.”

Rollin hung up the phone and looked at it wondering just where she was and who might be with her. 

In mid July, Rollin had agreed to a small but lucrative role in a film in Vancouver.  Jennifer was so excited about going. She actually believed she had convinced Rollin that she could be his assistant.

On their arrival at the hotel in Vancouver, Jennifer unpacked her clothes and put them in the dresser.  He wasn’t accustomed to sharing a room while on location, especially when his roommate was his six year-old daughter.  She placed a picture of the three of them next to her bed.  He explained to Jennifer that he had given Cinnamon the number where they were staying just in case she wanted to call. 

After dinner and back in their room, Jennifer helped him with his lines.  Once she was asleep, he left her to have a quick drink in the bar.  There he ran into one of the young actresses who would be working on the film.  Tammy was cast in a minor role, but she was to play Rollin’s secretary.  She was blonde, blue eyed, attractive and she knew it. They shared a couple of drinks while she tried to entice him to her room.  They sat close together at a small table in the bar, her hand resting on his thigh.  “Why don’t you come upstairs and help me with my lines.”  She proposed as her hand moved further up his thigh.  Whatever she was offering, he was buying.

He and the actress walked arm and arm out of the bar and the hotel concierge met them walking across the lobby with Jennifer in tow, headed straight for Rollin. 

The concierge cleared his throat. “Mr. Hand.”

Rollin turned to the young man and saw the clearly distraught Jennifer holding his hand.

“I believe this is your daughter.”

“Damn.” He muttered letting go of the actress and quickly went to pick up Jen. “Sweetheart?”  He kissed her cheek. 

“I woke up and you weren’t there.”  She explained.  “You left me alone Daddy.” She chastised him as she sniffed back her tears. “Mommy would never do that.” She said as she hugged his neck. 

He patted her back. “I’m sorry, Honey.”  He said trying to soothe her.

Tammy waited.  “This is your daughter?”  She asked.

Rollin glanced over at her.  “Yeah.” 

Jennifer’s head rose from his shoulder hearing the question.  “Daddy, we should be in bed. We have to work tomorrow.”  She commanded.

Rollin sighed.  His evening was over.  “Okay Honey.  Let’s get upstairs.”

He sighed.  “Goodnight, Tammy.”  He said. “Sorry.”

He walked away with Jen in his arms.

“Rollin….”  Tammy called after him.

He didn’t stop.  Jennifer glared at Tammy from his shoulder. 

Back in their room, Rollin tucked Jen back into bed.  “Daddy. Who was that lady?”

“One of the actresses on the movie.  You’ll see her tomorrow.”

“What did she want?” 

‘Me.’ Rollin thought.  “To talk about the movie, Honey.” 

Jennifer found her bear Raggles under her covers and hugged it.  “Do we have to see her?”  She asked.

“Hard not too.”  He replied.  “We have a couple of scenes together.”

Jennifer looked at him.  “Daddy, you’ll be here in the morning won’t you?”  She asked.

Rollin’s head sagged as he nodded. “Yes, I’ll be here. I’m sorry, Honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.”  He brushed her hair from her eyes.  “I promise, I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Jennifer gave him a smile.  “K, Daddy.”

“Now get some sleep.”

Jennifer closed her eyes, and Rollin turned off the lamp beside the bed. 

He moved from the edge of her bed and went into the bath.  He looked at himself in the mirror.  He knew better than to leave Jen alone like that.  “What am I doing on location with a six-year old’, he thought.  He started the shower and undressed.  Under the warm spray, his thoughts went to Cinnamon.  She would have killed him for leaving Jen.  God! How he missed her.

He had intended on sleeping with the attractive actress.  She was blond and blue eyed, which reminded him of Cinnamon, yet she had none of the class Cinnamon had.  The girl was willing to sleep with anyone who might help her career.  It was that same on nearly every set.  He’d never get Cinnamon to understand it, but actors and actresses were different.  It really could be just about that moment, no consequences.  What was so wrong with that?

He thought more about Cinnamon. He missed her scent, her touch, her laugh.  He wanted her.  “Cinnamon…”  He closed his eyes letting his hand surround his stiff penis.

The next day was spent on the set where Jennifer charmed everyone.  She asked all kinds of questions trying to learn about everything.  When she learned something new, she would rush to Rollin’s chair to share with him all her discoveries.

She was distracting him and he tried to explain to her that he had focus on his job.  After lunch he was to shoot his scene for that day.  He left her in the, he hoped, capable hands of a young script girl who volunteered to watch her while he worked.   

That afternoon, before he and Tammy were to shoot two of their scenes, she did entice him into her trailer explaining that since the characters they portrayed were involved in the film that they should be as well. That gave him his chance to apologize for the abrupt end to their evening the night before.  Tammy was more than will to accept his apology and there were no consequences.

With his duty completed in Vancouver, they flew home to LA.  Rollin had to laugh when Jennifer, who was already so comfortable on airplanes, she was able to mimic the stewardess when she gave the safety briefing.

The rest of the summer was busy for Jennifer and Rollin alike.  Jennifer had a number of functions to attend.  She was involved in a reading competition at the library.  Each Saturday during the summer she was to get a number of books, finish them and return them within the week. On Thursday afternoons the librarian would invite the boys and girls in to do projects based on the books they had read. Birthday parties also became a frequent occurrence and Rollin was thankful Maria was there to handle the gifts and most of the transportation. 

One Friday morning in July, Rollin was late for a meeting.  Jennifer had left her books for him to return to the library.   He grabbed his portfolio and keys, leaving the library books on the counter.  Jennifer was playing at her friend Sally’s and Maria had set off for San Diego to visit her sister.

That evening he picked up Jennifer from Sally’s house and took her out for pizza.  They were on their own for the weekend.  They came through the door from the garage and Jennifer stopped dead in her tracks.  “Why are my books still here?”  She asked pointing at the counter.

“What?”  He asked.

“My library books, they had to be back today.  You promised you would take them.” She pronounced.

Rollin’s head sagged.  “Damnit.” He swore softly.  “I’m sorry Jen.”

“Daddy…I’ll lose my place in the competition.  I’ll lose.”  She pouted.

He squatted down beside her.  “We’ll take them first thing in the morning.  I’ll explain it to them.  They’ll understand.” 

Jennifer looked at him hard. “They better,” then turned from him and stomped off.

‘She has her mother’s competitive streak and temper’, he mused as he stood and sat his car keys on top of the books so he would not forget.

The next morning, Jen had him up early, skipping their morning swim to be at the library when it opened.  They walked hand in hand to the librarian’s desk.  

The young woman looked up. “Hi Jennifer.”  She said quietly.

“Hi Miss Summers.”  Jennifer answered.  “This is my Dad.”

Rollin set the books on the counter and reached for her hand. “How do you do?”  He said as she took his hand.  “I need to return these for Jennifer.  She told me they were due yesterday and I was to return them and I forgot. It was my mistake and she really shouldn’t be penalized for my mistake.”

Miss Summers listened intently to his sincere apology. 

“Is there anything I can do to make it up for her?”  He continued.

Miss Summers liked Jennifer. She was an enthusiastic reader and participant in class.  She also liked Jennifer’s father’s blue eyes and the way he still held her hand in his.

“I suppose I could over look it this one time, since it was a simple mistake.” 

Rollin grinned. 

“But… It would be a great help if you could come by and read to our children’s circle, perhaps this afternoon.” 

Rollin glanced over at Jen who was beaming.  For a moment, he thought he’d been set up.

He smiled at the young woman.  “I’d be happy too, Miss Summers.  What time?” 

“Four-thirty.” 

“I’ll be here.” 

Jennifer reached for his hand.  “Daddy I need to look for some books for this week.” 

Rollin looked at the clock above the desk.  “Can we do it when we come back?  I have to meet someone this morning.” 

“K Daddy.” 

Rollin threw another smile toward Miss Summers. “Thank you.”

She smiled brightly after them as Jennifer waved to her as they headed toward the door.

Rollin returned promptly, thanks to Jennifer’s reminding, for his reading date.  Jennifer sat in the circle with the other children as he read the story to the group.  The children laughed as Rollin added voices for all the parts.  When he was finished Jennifer headed into the stacks with the others to select her books for the week.  Miss Summers brought him back to the break room for a cup of coffee.  She congratulated him on his theatrical reading.  He explained that he had a lot of experience reading to and with Jennifer. 

Jennifer walked into the room with an armload of books.  “Daddy. I’m ready to go.”  She announced.  He turned at his daughter’s voice.  “Honey… did you have to get so many?”  He asked as he crossed to her to take some of the books from her hands. 

“They’re all on the list.” 

“But Jennifer, you have the rest of the summer to finish them.”  Miss Summers added.

“I know, but I can do it. I know it.” 

Rollin’s grin met Miss Summers eyes, he knew better than to argue with his little girl.

“All right, Jen. Let’s get going.” 

He turned to Miss Summers and reached for her hand.  “Thank you again for helping me out.” 

“Thank you for reading for us today, Mr. Hand. Perhaps you could come and do it again?”  She said hopefully. 

Rollin smiled.  “It’s Rollin.” He corrected her.

“Yeah, Daddy. That would be fun.” 

Rollin nodded. “We’ll have to see Sweetheart.”

“You’re always welcome…Rollin.”  Miss Summers added.

Rollin shook her hand and reached for Jen’s hand.  “I’ll remember that.  Nice to meet you.”  He said as he and Jen headed for the door.

Miss Summers watched them leave.  ‘What great hands he has.’ She thought.

Two Saturdays later, Jen was invited to two parties in the same day.  Maria dropped her off at both and Rollin was to pick her up from the last one. 

He arrived at four p.m. along with several of the mothers that were picking up their daughters.  It had been a western theme party so all the girls were either in gingham dresses or jeans and boots.  They had pony rides and grilled hamburgers and lots of cake and ice cream.

Jennifer ran out of the door to Rollin’s side.  “Daddy!” 

“Howdy Sheriff.”  He called, spying the star pinned to her vest.

Jennifer beamed at the star that adorned her vest.

The gaggle of mothers watched him as he lifted her into the air.  “Have a good time?”  He asked setting her back to the pavement.

“It was terrific!”  She exclaimed.  “We had a gun-fight and everything.” 

“You did?”  He asked as they walked to the car.  “Who won?” 

“I did!”  She announced.

“So you got to be the Sheriff.” He beamed.

She nodded enthusiastically as he opened the door to the car and she climbed in.

He rounded the car and fired up the engine. 

Jennifer related the details of both the parties.  They were almost home when Jennifer started to complain. “Daddy, I don’t feel so good.” 

“What’s the matter Honey?”  He asked, looking at his daughter.

“I…” She didn’t get anything else out before she threw up all over the floorboard of the car.

“Shit!” Rollin exclaimed.  Jennifer wasn’t through, she did it again.  Then she started to cry. 

He shook his head at the milky mess that covered the floorboard. “It’s okay Honey.”  He tried to calm her as he reached into the glove compartment for something to clean up the mess.  He found a couple of napkins.  “Here Honey.”  He said handing them to her.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”  She choked out between sobs.

He rubbed her back. “It’s okay.”  He continued, wanting her to relax. ‘Where is your mother?’ He asked himself.

They stopped at the front door and he took Jennifer inside where Maria took immediate charge of her.  With Jen in good hands, Rollin returned to his car and looked at the mess in the floorboard.  He resigned himself to his task and pulled the car around to the garage.  He spent the next thirty minutes cleaning the interior of the car. 

When he was through, he met Maria in the kitchen.  “That was a mess.”  He stated going to the sink to wash his hands. 

“Did it come out?”  She asked.

“Yeah, I laid the mat out in the sun to dry.”

Maria nodded. 

“Is Jen okay?”  He asked, wiping his hands dry.

“She just had too much cake.  She’ll be fine.” 

“Good.” Rollin tossed the towel aside. 

Cinnamon’s telephone call that night was a surprise. Jennifer took the opportunity to update Cinnamon about Rollin’s language.

“Mommy, Daddy said a bad word when I threw up in his car.”  She reported as she watched Rollin give her a frown from across the room.  “I told him we don’t talk like that.”

Jennifer completed her time with Cinnamon and handed the phone back to Rollin who covered the mouthpiece.  “So much for secrets, huh?”  He said as she headed back to the pool to resume her playtime with her friend Ashley. 

Rollin put the phone to his ear.  “Aren’t six-year olds wonderful?”  Cinnamon said matter-of-factly.

He chuckled.  “Yeah.” He continued. “Hard to get away with anything with her around.”

Cinnamon had to wonder just what he was trying to get away with.

On a Saturday afternoon in early August, he dropped Jennifer off at a birthday party at the house of Shirley Gary.  He had gotten the gist from Jennifer that Ashley, Shirley’s daughter, was quickly becoming her best friend. 

When he returned to pick Jen up after the party, Shirley greeted him at the door clad in a hot pink bikini.  She had a striking figure. She was taller than Cinnamon, dark haired, rail thin and tan. 

“Good afternoon,” she called as the girls ran for the door.

“Hello there.”  Rollin replied with an appreciative smile. 

Jennifer came through the door.  “Daddy!” 

“Hey Sweetheart.  How was the party?”

“Terrific!”  She replied. 

Rollin’s grin widened at his daughter’s reply. 

“They had a good time.”  Shirley added.  “Maybe you could bring Jennifer by for a swim sometime.”  She suggested giving him the thorough once over. 

Rollin’s eyes met hers with a smile.

“Can we Daddy?”  Jennifer asked excitedly, tugging on his hand. 

Rollin looked down at Jen.  “Maybe, sweetheart”

“Really, Ashley would love to have her over.  You could bring your suit too.”  Shirley offered with an inviting smile.

“I’ll check our schedules.” He said with a grin. 

“You’re always welcome to come by.” She said with a wink.

Rollin smiled again as he took Jennifer’s hand. “I’ll remember that. Thanks for watching the girls.”  He said as he moved off with Jen.

That evening Rollin closed his eyes waiting for sleep.  He thought of the offer that Shirley had made him.  He needed a date for a studio party next Friday. Maybe he would give her a call.  He was sure Jen would enjoy seeing Ashley and it might be fun for him, too. Shirley was quite an attractive woman and she had certainly made her invitation clear.

The next morning he and Jen were eating breakfast after their morning swim.  “Jen? Would you like to go over to Ashley’s house sometime?” 

Jen nodded excitedly with a mouthful of cereal. 

Maria came with more coffee for him. “Thanks Maria.”  He said as she poured. “Do you happen to have Shirley Gary’s number?  I think Jen and I may pay her and Ashley a call.”

Maria knew the woman.  “I’m sure I do. I will have to look for it.” 

“I know it Maria.”  Jennifer stated.

“Yes, little one. I’m sure you do.”

With breakfast concluded Jennifer went upstairs to change.  Rollin remained at the table a little longer and Maria returned to clear the dishes. 

“Did you find the number?” He asked.

“It is not a good idea.” She said.

“What’s not a good idea?”

“That woman.  She is trouble.”

“Trouble?  She seemed harmless enough.”

Maria shook her head, no.  “She has divorced three husbands and is looking for the next one.” 

“What has that got to do with Jen going over there for a swim?”

“Nothing for Jennifer.  But for you….trouble.”  She said gathering the dishes. She met his eyes with concern.  “It is not a good idea.”  She said taking the dishes inside.

“I’ve got a party Friday night for the studio.”

“Oh?”  Maria acknowledged.

“I just need a date Maria, that’s all.”  He pronounced.

She met his eyes with concern.  “It is not a good idea.”  She said warned as she took the dishes inside.

It was a warning not only from Maria but Cinnamon as well.  This damn separation was beginning to wear on him.  The last time he and Cinnamon had been together was April.  It was nearing the end of August and she wasn’t due back for a couple of weeks.  What was he supposed to do?  Wait?  Ten minutes in a trailer with an actress-no matter how willing-did not a sex life make.

‘Yes,’ he thought as he looked out over the pool, ‘that is exactly what she wants me to do.’ He rose from the table, unhappy with his realization. ‘Damn’ he thought, who knows what she is up to and who she may be with.

The following Friday Rollin attended the studio party, stag. Early that evening, Jennifer had helped him with his tie and cummerbund and had pronounced him the ‘handsomest Daddy.’  The memory of that comment brought a smile to his face.    

“Anyone I know?”  The voice asked.

Rollin turned to the woman who stood at his elbow.  “Pardon me?” He asked.

“That grin. Is it for anyone I know?” She restated.

Rollin grinned again.  “I doubt it.”

“Sheila Franklin.” She stated, offering her hand.

Rollin took her hand. “Rollin Hand.”

Shelia was a brunette with smooth shoulder length hair and an impressive smile.

“What brings you here?”  He inquired.

“I work at the studio.  You?” 

“Just a director.” 

“You must be the guy all the talk is about.” 

“Oh?” 

She smiled again.  “We have a pool going on how much over budget you’ll go.”

Rollin turned to face her.  “What makes you think…?”

She held up her hand, “It’s an accounting joke.”

“Accounting?” 

“That’s me. A bona fide CPA.” 

Rollin assessed her again.  She was too attractive to be an accountant.  “I know. I don’t look the part.  But who made the rule that says accountants have to be matronly?” She added with a flip of her hair.

Rollin liked her already.  She was quick. 

“May I freshen that for you?”  He asked for her almost empty glass.

“Actually, I was headed for the garden for some air.  Join me?”

Rollin smiled and cupped her elbow with his hand, “Lead the way.” 

They spent the rest of the party talking business and getting to know each other.  He learned that she wanted to be a producer and he explained the problems he was having with the producer he was working with.  She gave him a few insights in dealing with the man as she had worked with him on a previous project.

The hour was late as they made their way to the door to claim their respective cars.  She turned to him as they waited on the front steps of the house.  “I know it’s getting late, but would you like to join me for a cup of coffee, somewhere?”  She offered.

Rollin smiled.  “I’d like that.” 

Her car came first.  “Follow me, I know a spot.”

He followed her up the twists and turns of Mulholland Drive to a small house on a secluded drive.  She parked in front of the house and stepped from the car.  He stopped behind her and hesitated.  ‘What was he doing?’ he thought briefly.  ‘Hell, it’s only coffee.’ He told himself as he stepped from the car.

“I thought you wanted coffee?”  He offered.

“I do. I like my special blend. You don’t mind do you?” 

“Not at all.”  He smiled.

The house was simple but stylish.  She closed the door behind him and welcomed him into the living room.  “Make yourself at home.  I’ll put the pot on.”  She said moving to the kitchen, laying her purse aside on a foyer table.

Rollin looked about the room and saw framed photographs on her bookshelves.  They were photos of family and friends he surmised.  He turned as she came into the room with a tray of cream and sugar and two cups.  “Just in case you don’t take it black.”  She said placing the tray on the table in front of the sofa.  Rollin looked back at the photos.  “Your family?” He asked.

“Yes.”  She joined him in front of the books.  “They’re all back in Missouri.”

“Do you get to see them much?” 

“At the holidays, I usually go back to visit.”

“No young man, I notice.”

She cut her eyes at him.  “Not lately.  You know how difficult it is to find someone in this town who is a truly interesting companion?”  She asked him.

Rollin considered her question.  “True. I tend to run into a lot of empty-headed actresses.” 

“And actors.”  She said.  “For me.”

Rollin smiled, yet he felt a little guilty, he was indeed an actor and only an untested film director.

Still, they seemed to share a similar dilemma.  “Maybe we’re looking in the wrong places.”  He suggested. 

“At least being at the studio means fresh faces on a regular basis. Maybe someone will come along.”  She said as she disappeared back into the kitchen.

He looked after her.  She was a keeper, he thought.

She reappeared with a pot of steaming coffee.  “That smells great. What is it?”

“A special blend I found in the South America on one vacation.” 

“South America?”  He mused.  “You like to travel?” 

“I do.” She said pouring them each a cup.  She sat on the sofa and he joined her.  She watched as he took a sip of the hot liquid.  “Terrific.”  He said, taking another sip. 

She smiled brightly.  “I knew you’d like it.” She said taking her own cup.

He did like it and he liked her. 

Rollin had a fleeting thought that she would be perfect for Jim’s business.  Maybe he would mention her to him.  They talked and finished the pot as the night wore on.

She was flirting with him and him with her.  She had moved closer to him on the sofa and she had her hand on his leg. “Sheila, you are one exceptional accountant.”

“You don’t graduate cum laude from SC for nothing.” 

Rollin smiled. 

“You want to stay?”  She asked simply.

Rollin considered her offer momentarily.  He met her eyes.  It had been weeks for him and he was definitely attracted to her. 

She noted his hesitancy. “Something I need to know?”  She asked.

Rollin smiled.  “I like your coffee.”

Sheila moved closer to him and they kissed.  Their kiss spurred them both on and soon they both were unbuttoning various pieces of each other’s clothing. 

His blue eyes met her brown as her hands moved up his chest.  He was in the moment and he wanted it to happen, he was ready for it to happen.  But something stopped him.

She noticed his hesitancy. “Rollin?” 

He sighed.  “I’m sorry Sheila. I can’t do this.”

“What…” She asked. ”Is something wrong?” 

“No, Baby.”  He confessed. “I just shouldn’t be here.”

She moved off of him and pulled her blouse around her. “I thought.”

“I know.  I’m sorry.”

“She must be one hell of a woman.”

Rollin chuckled.  “She is. I just wish I knew where I stood with her.” He said moving to the edge of the couch buttoning his shirt.

“Just my luck.”  She said, disappointed.

Rollin looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. “You deserve better than me.”  He said with a wink.

“I don’t know…I like what I’ve seen so far.” 

Rollin grinned.

“I’d better go.”  He said rising from the sofa. She followed him. 

“If things don’t work out, you know where I’ll be.”  She said.

Rollin sighed as her looked at her. He really wanted things to work out with Cinnamon. “Thanks for the coffee. It was really very nice to meet you.”  He said.

She followed him to the door and took a card from her purse.  “If you decide you can...”  She said handing him her business card. 

He pocketed the card, “Thanks.” He said, taking her hand and kissing it.

She watched him stroll down the path to the street and climb into his convertible.  He gave her a wave as he left. 

As he drove down Mulholland back to the Palisades, his thoughts were of Cinnamon.  He was still concerned about where she was and who she was with.  But how had she stopped him cold like that? He asked himself. He missed being with Cinnamon.   

Leaving Sheila had not been easy.  She was more than willing and certainly a cut above his usual associations.  But suddenly the thought of Cinnamon had stopped him cold.  That had never happened before.  Was it because Sheila was more on par with Cinnamon?  Was it because Cinnamon was due back in less than two weeks? Was it because there was a possibility that Sheila and Cinnamon might meet by some odd chance?  He certainly didn’t want to repeat what had happened in New York.  He didn’t want to undo whatever repairs he had made in their relationship.

Sheila was intelligent, funny and charming.  Those were three things he loved about Cinnamon.  In his business relationships were transitory, lasting only the run of the picture. It was easy for him to engage a young woman for fun and then dismiss her.  Most times it was a mutual extra-curricular relationship.  He never felt like he was taking advantage of anyone.  That’s how he rationalized his liaisons.  They really didn’t mean anything to him, except for the moment they happened.  He knew Cinnamon saw it differently. She had made that clear.  But with Cinnamon his feelings for her had been different from the beginning. She was the one and he still had to win her back.    

The Tuesday before Cinnamon’s anticipated return, Paula came to check on them as she had done periodically throughout the summer. Maria had taken Jennifer shopping for all her school supplies and clothes. 

Paula found Rollin beside the pool with yet another script revision in hand, making notes in the margins. 

“Hey, Handsome.”  She called.

Rollin looked over the top of his Raybans and smiled instantly.  “Paula!” He called rising from the chaise lounge where he sat. “What a nice surprise.”  He said coming to hug her.

Paula accepted his embrace.  “I thought you might be needing some adult conversation. Lord, knows I do!”

Rollin chuckled and led her to the chair underneath the umbrella. “I can use the distraction.”  He admitted, sitting beside her.

“Oh?” 

He smiled.  “Three more days.” 

“Counting are we?”

“Yeah, we all are.”

“I know it’s been a long few of months for you.” She said, patting his hand that rested on the table.  

Rollin shook his head.  “I just hope we can get things back they way they used to be.” 

“I hope you can.”

“Have you talked to her?”  He asked, hoping for some indication.

“Not since she left.” 

Rollin watched her.  “I’ve missed her so much, Paula.” 

Paula understood. “Maybe it’s what you both needed, some time and space.” 

“I hope so. All I know is I’m miserable without her.”

“You need to tell her that.” 

“I plan to…About five minutes after she walks through the door.”

“You’re gonna wait that long?”  Paula laughed.

Rollin joined her in laughter.  ‘Okay, maybe two minutes.’ he recalculated.  It would only be a few more days, now…

THE END

Elena Vorska

July, 2002

<back to retirement>