The One That Got Away
Spring '77
Cinnamon’s phone buzzed on her desk. “Mr. Phelps to see you.” Neil announced.
“Thank you, Neil.”
Jim walked through the door, file in hand. “Afternoon, Cinnamon.”
“Hi, Jim.” She said with a smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I wanted to see you before the briefing.”
“About that.” She indicated the file.
He handed her the file marked ‘eyes only’ across the desk.
She opened it and saw the photograph. Jim heard her slight gasp. Her eyes met his across the desk.
“It’s the proof you’ve been expecting.”
“Jim?”
Jim stood from his chair. “See you in an hour. We’re going to ask a lot of you, once again.” He stopped. “Sure you’re ready for this?” He asked.
She squared her shoulders. “Aren’t I always?”
He nodded as he turned for the door then paused before he opened it, “Is Rollin okay about you being back in the field?” He asked.
She was surprised by the question. “Why shouldn’t he be?”
Jim looked at her. He knew how Mary felt about his work. He thought Rollin might feel differently. “Well, I just wondered if after last time…”
She stopped him. “This is my decision, Jim, not Rollin’s.”
Jim nodded. He knew Cinnamon wouldn’t do anything without considering all the angles. “I’ll see you in there.”
She turned toward the window and looked out across the city. Memories flooded her mind. If she looked hard enough she could see the hotel. No, she didn’t want to remember. It was meaningless now. She took the file from her desk and began to read. This time there would be no miscalculations.
Jim acknowledged her as she entered the briefing room that adjoined his office. She noticed the other man in the room and gave Jim a knowing glance. “Hello, Dan.” She said, not really surprised to see him.
“Long time, no see.” Dan said rising from his chair to kiss her cheek. Cinnamon smiled as she took a seat beside him. “How are Crystal and Billy?”
“Fine, just fine.”
“I asked Dan to be here,” Jim never wasted time in getting started, “since he’s been trying to pin down Fetyukov’s activities.”
“Right, I’ve been trying to anticipate our quarry’s next move.” Dan answered, looking at her. “Are you sure you want to do this, Cinnamon?”
Cinnamon watched Dan. “What do you mean Dan?” She knew Dan had relayed her history with Andrei to Jim and he would not ever want to unwillingly create an opportunity for Andrei to have a second chance with her. He knew Andrei would be better prepared this time. They knew Fetyukov was an assassin for hire and by all indications only interested in money, but this time it might become personal.
“It’s been ten years and I know what a difficult assignment it was then. I just wonder if it’s right to ask you to do this again.” He met her eyes, knowing what had happened between the two agents.
“I can take care of myself, Dan.”
Dan nodded.
“Fetyukov is back in the game in a big way and this time, we’ll have more than just him to worry about.” Jim began.
“Meaning?” She asked leaning forward mentally reviewing the file he had given her.
“There are more than the Russians to be wary of.” Dan answered.
A photograph of a young Chinese agent come on the screen at the far end of the room. “Lin Fong.” He continued. “He’s Fetyukov’s connection with the Chinese.”
Cinnamon was putting the pieces together. “So he did become a double agent.” She mused.
Dan nodded. “Much more than that, he is working for the highest bidder.”
“So what are we going to give them?” She asked.
“Me.” Jim answered.
Cinnamon looked up at him.
“Or at least the opportunity to get to me.” He corrected himself.
“I assume that is where I come in.” She asked.
“Exactly. We want you to bring him to the trap.”
She nodded. She knew what she would be up against. Andrei was an all too competent opponent. “I see. So I am to be the cheese again.”
When Rollin arrived home from the studio, he found Cinnamon at her desk in her study, re-reading the file Jim had given her and having a drink. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her. How serious she looked as she concentrated on her task. He sensed something important was in the works when he noticed the familiar file with the red lettering ‘eyes only’. He smiled remembering how they had prepared for missions together those years before. “Homework?” He called.
She looked up seeming to read his mind, “Something like that,” she said closing the file to pickup her drink.
“May I freshen that for you?” He asked as he approached her.
She handed him the glass. “Thank you.”
He kissed her cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
She secured the file back in her briefcase.
“Where’s Jen?” He asked as he returned with their drinks.
“Probably cooking with Maria. That’s what we’re into this week.” She said joining him on the leather sofa and accepting her drink.
Rollin chuckled as he slipped his arm behind her. “You and Jim must be cooking up something too.”
“A little assignment.”
“Something important?” He asked having a sip of his drink.
“Isn’t it always?” She reminded him. “I need to leave tomorrow.” She added.
“You’re not wasting any time.”
“Did we ever?”
“No.” His fingers caressed her neck. “You’re tense.” He said massaging her neck.
“Nothing that your attentions can’t handle.” She closed her eyes at his touch.
“Have you told Jen?” He asked.
“I told her that I would be going away for a short trip. She said as long as you were here it was okay.” She recited as her hand went to his knee.
“Then here I shall be.”
He sat his drink aside. “Come here.” He turned to lean back against the end of the sofa. She followed his lead, setting her drink aside and leaning back against him so he could give her a more thorough neck and shoulder massage. She sighed contently as his hands continued their work.
“I don’t know if I can get used to you going back on field assignments again.”
“I’m a big girl, Rollin.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.”
“Thanks a lot.” She protested.
“You know what I meant.”
She stilled his hands by turning to face him. “I do know.” She said seriously. “And you also know that this is what I want to do.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you.”
“You know we’re careful.”
“Yeah, but things are different now.”
“I know.” She said leaning forward to kiss him.
A half hour later they were seated for dinner. It was a simple affair and Jennifer regaled her parents with the intricacies of the preparation of the meal. She did enjoy playing to her audience.
Cinnamon took Jen upstairs for her bath, while Rollin did a little ‘homework’ of his own for tomorrow. He knew that she would be leaving the next day with Jim. Over dinner, Cinnamon explained as best as she could to her seven year-old.
Cinnamon came back downstairs after tucking Jennifer in bed and found him still working on his script notes. She walked behind the sofa and placed her hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll be up in a few.” He responded to her touch. She nodded as she made her way up to the bedroom.
As she dressed for bed, she thought about what had happened
ten years earlier during her first encounter with Andrei.
The mission had been simple, to make him fall for her in five days and provide
him access to a scientist who had defected to the
She had read the entire file Jim had prepared for her. Andrei had eventually escaped his captors and now was working for the highest bidder. He had gone back to his former specialty. His list of thirty kills had grown considerably over the years and she didn’t want to be added to it.
After checking on Jennifer, Rollin found Cinnamon brushing her hair in front of the bathroom mirror. But he could see her mind was elsewhere. She watched him in the mirror as he changed out of his trousers and shirt and into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. She laid her brush aside to give him the sink. He watched her as she went into the bedroom. She was already preparing herself, he thought, just like the old days.
He joined her quickly and she switched off the lamp, sliding down between the sheets. They lay quietly beside one another, each thinking about the same thing, the mission.
“You did a good job explaining to Jen; you and Uncle Jim going on another trip for work.”
“I don’t like lying to her.” She stated.
Rollin chuckled. “I don’t think she’d understand anything about national security issues.”
“I just didn’t want her exposed to this, she’s so young.”
“Mm huh, but she is your daughter.”
She turned to face him in the darkness of the room. “Our daughter.”
Rollin smiled.
“Do you ever regret getting out?” She asked.
“Regret, no.” He shook his head then turned up on his elbow, next to her. ”The only thing I miss is working with you. You wanna tell me about it?” Rollin asked softly.
She sighed, “You know I can’t.” She had already told him too much months ago.
‘Rules.’ He thought with a sigh as he traced his finger down her arm. “Anything I can do?” She moved into his arms. He kissed her temple wanting to help her relax. His hands moved to caress her and she looked up at him and kissed him softly. “Just hold me.” He held her, feeling her apprehension. He knew she had his love but tonight she wanted his protection from whatever demon she would soon face.
Cinnamon sat with Jennifer she left for school the next morning “You understand that I’m going to be away for a few days and Daddy and Maria will be here with you.”
Jennifer nodded. “I know Mom, you told me. Will you bring me something back from your trip?”
Rollin smiled as he watched the twosome from beside the fireplace.
Cinnamon smiled as she stroked her daughter’s hair. “What would you like?”
“Something pretty.” She said, smiling that Rollin Hand smile.
Cinnamon smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Maria came out of the kitchen with her purse. “Time to go Little One.” She called.
Jennifer stood and hugged Cinnamon. “I’ll miss you, Mom.”
Cinnamon hugged Jennifer tighter. “I’ll miss you too, Sweetheart.”
Rollin had watched the scene but now moved to join them. He knelt beside Jennifer. “Remember you promised Mom you’d keep me out of trouble.”
Jennifer pulled away from Cinnamon giving him a doubtful look. “Impossible, Daddy.”
Rollin and Cinnamon both laughed at her statement. “Please try, Honey.” Cinnamon said, with a smile.
“Okay, Mom.” She said and started toward Maria.
“Hey…” Rollin called.
Jen stopped and walked back to Rollin. She reached to kiss his cheek. “Sorry, Daddy.”
She turned back and ran toward Maria, who gave them a wave. “Have a good trip.” She said, following Jennifer.
Rollin moved beside Cinnamon. “What a kid.” He said.
Cinnamon looked at him. “She just knows how to get to you.”
Rollin smiled and reached for her hand. “Just like her Mom.”
Cinnamon smiled as he kissed her fingers.
They sat, holding hands, enjoying a quiet moment.
“Jim will be here any minute.” She said standing from the sofa. Rolln followed her, grabbing her suitcase and cosmetic case as she opened the front door for him to deposit the bags on the doorstep.
He pulled her back inside the entryway, circling her waist with his arms. “Did I tell you how much you will be missed?” He said. She looked up into his earnest blue eyes. “I think you showed me this morning.” He pulled her close and kissed her. She reached to touch his cheek as they parted. “You make it hard to leave.”
He gave her a slow smile, kissing her again. The sound of Jim’s horn broke them from their embrace. Rollin gave Jim a smile as he pulled the car to a stop. Cinnamon moved from him as Rollin followed her to the car with her bags.
Jim met them at the open trunk where Rollin placed her bags. “Hey Rollin, how you doing?” He said, as Rollin set her second bag in the trunk. “Good Jim, real good.” He said shaking Jim’s hand. “Sure you don’t need some backup on this one?” Rollin teased. Jim closed the trunk. “We’ll be fine, Rollin, just fine.”
“I’m counting on you, Jim.” Rollin said as he met Cinnamon at the passenger side of the car. She turned to him as he opened the door for her. “You be careful.” He said softly.
“You take care of Jennifer.” She responded. He nodded and kissed her quickly as she slid into the passenger seat. Rollin leaned down to look through the open window. “Take care you two.” Cinnamon covered his hand with hers and Rollin gave Jim a wave as he put the car in gear.
Rollin watched as the car moved down the drive. He went inside to get on with his day and tried to put the danger Cinnamon was going toward out of his mind.
Upon the completion of the mission, Jim and Cinnamon flew back to LA late Tuesday night. Cinnamon kept hearing Andrei’s quiet taunt “We meet again, my dear,” over and over. She was quiet throughout the flight and Jim didn’t bother her. She had to deal with her own thoughts and feelings.
Jim leaned over to her as the plane descended for landing. “You okay?” He said covering her hand with his.
“I’ll be fine.” Cinnamon nodded and turned to the window as she watched the night.
Rollin paced at the airport gate. He smiled when he saw Cinnamon and Jim step though the boarding ramp from the plane. She’d been gone less than a week but it had seemed longer to him. They spotted him as they moved through the line of disembarking passengers.
He drew her into his embrace, kissing her cheek. “What’s with the sunglasses?” He asked. She hugged him, kissed his cheek, whispering to him. “Long story,” and pulled away as Jim joined them. Rollin reached to shake Jim’s hand. “Hey Jim.”
“I thought Jennifer would be with you.” Cinnamon said.
Rollin took her hand as they started toward baggage claim. “It’s late and a school night. I told her you’d look in when you got home.” She was a little surprised; maybe he had learned something during last summer.
After claiming their bags, they said their goodbyes. Jim told Cinnamon he’d call her in the morning for the de-brief time. Rollin loaded her bags in the trunk then joined her in the car. “So, you gonna tell me about the glasses?” He said, turning to her.
She sighed softly, pulling the glasses from her face revealing a swollen black eye.
“My God! What happened to you?” He exclaimed. “Are you alright?”
She nodded as he reached for her. “I’m fine. I just should’ve ducked.”
“What do you mean ducked?” Rollin was incredulous. He looked at her and shook his head.
“You know I can’t talk about it.”
“Cinnamon! Don’t give me that bullshit, tell me what happened.”
She ran her hand tiredly through her hair. “You know the rules.”
“Don’t tell me about the god damn rules.” He was furious. ”I want to know who did this to you.” Her look halted any more discussion. “Rollin, please.” She begged. “Let’s go home. I want to see Jennifer.”
Rollin started the engine and put the car in gear. He did not like the sound of this.
The drive home was quick at the late hour and Cinnamon stayed quiet for the ride. Rollin carried her bags inside, following her upstairs. He sat the bags in their bedroom then joined her in Jennifer’s room.
Cinnamon sat on the edge of the bed and moved her daughter’s hair from her eyes. Rollin watched the scene with growing concern. ‘What happened to her?’, he thought. She had told him nothing of where they were going, what they were going to do or who they were after. He knew why she had gone but that didn’t give him any comfort. He was both angry and happy at the same time. Happy she was home and back safe with him. Angry at Jim for letting something happen to her; more angry with himself for having let her go.
“Mom?” Jen said sleepily.
“Hi Honey.”
“Daddy said you were coming home.”
“I’m here Honey. Now go back to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.”
“K Mom….” As she fell back to sleep.
Cinnamon leaned down and softly kissed Jen’s forehead then joined Rollin at the door.
“She’s exhausted.” She whispered.
Rollin nodded, “I wore her out in the pool tonight; I figured it was the only way she’d go to sleep.”
Cinnamon moved past him toward the bedroom. “Good thinking.”
While Cinnamon indulged herself in a hot shower, Rollin retrieved two cognacs from the bar. He knew she was tired but he had to know what happened to her. He sat the snifters on the table beside the chair and tightened the sash of his paisley robe as she emerged from the steamy bathroom in a long white silk robe.
“Better?” He asked, handing her a crystal snifter.
“Yes.” She said, sipping the amber liquid.
He raised his hand to her bruised face, his fingers gently touching her eye and cheek. “What are you going to tell Jennifer in the morning?” He asked.
“I’ll think of something.” She said softly. “I’m sure you can help me hide it.”
Rollin sighed. “Who did this?” He insisted. She moved away from him with her glass. “Cinnamon, you have to tell me something.” He persisted.
She knew he deserved to know some part of it. Once again, she was going to break the rules. “Andrei.” She said quietly.
The memory of that name hit him like a wave and with it came a rush of anger. “Fetyukov?!” The memory of what she had told him came flooding back. “How the hell?”
She couldn’t meet his eyes. “That’s why you wouldn’t tell me anything before you left.” He said accusingly.
“Rollin, please.” She pleaded as she moved toward the doors to the balcony. “I’ve already told you more than I should.” She moved through the balcony doors with her drink. She needed her tranquil spot right now.
He didn’t want to fight with her but he needed to know what had happened. Especially now that she had told him that Fetyukov was involved. If he had hurt her, he would never forgive himself. He swallowed his full shot of cognac, left his glass behind, and followed her outside.
He stood behind her at the railing, deliberately not touching her. “Cinnamon. Tell me what happened.” He said. He wanted to make her promise to never go on a field assignment again, but he knew she wouldn’t do that. But he needed to know what had happened.
She took a deep breath about to raise a protest. “And don’t tell me about rules. This isn’t about your job, it’s about you.” He continued.
Cinnamon put her hand to her eye. He had to be told at least some of it. “We located him.”
“Where?” He asked. She turned and looked at him. “It’s not a secret now.” He said. Then he panicked, “Are you telling me you have feelings for this guy?!”
“Never!” She said fiercely.
“Tell me, Cinnamon.” He said softly.
She closed her eyes searching for a way to explain it to him. She sighed, tiredly. He knew her too well. “I failed Rollin.” She said looking at her glass.
“Failed?” He asked reaching for her.
She closed her eyes. “Why do you think I came back here with a black eye?” She shook her head. “At the critical moment, I didn’t do my job.”
Rollin listened to her. “I can’t believe that.”
“Here’s the evidence.” She said pointing to her eye.
He held her at arm’s length. “Cinnamon, there’s got to be more.”
She took a long sip of her drink trying to find a way to explain it to him.
“My job was simple really but he…wanted…” Cinnamon smiled a cold smile, “revenge. He tried…thankfully Jim, Barney and Willy were there. We just miscalculated on one thing. That’s were I got this.”
She looked at her glass again. “I had the opportunity and I didn’t use it. We lost him. He’s still out there to kill again.”
Rollin took the glass from her hands and set in on the table beside them then pulled her into his arms. He wanted her to find safety, warmth and love there. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Cinnamon shook her head against him. “It was Rollin. It was my fault.” She pushed away from him. “He knew everything. He knew about you, us, Jennifer. Everything! It was a nightmare. I just froze.” She blamed herself for the loss of their target.
Rollin swallowed hard. ‘How could he have gotten so much information?’ Rollin thought then corrected himself - that had always been the easy part in this business.
He wrapped his arms around Cinnamon. He didn’t know exactly how to calm her fears. “Sweetheart, we’ll figure this out.” She looked up at him. “How? Did you not hear what I said? He knows everything! Where we live. Where she goes to school.”
Rollin was shocked. “Why is he threatening you?”
Cinnamon moved away from him. “Because once before I beat him at the game.”
She grasped the rail of the balcony. Rollin stood silently watching her. He knew some of the history but only what little Barney had told him all those years ago. He felt helpless but he knew he had to protect them. He moved behind her, caressing her shoulders. “Sweetheart, you’re exhausted. Let’s get some sleep. We’ll figure this out in the morning.”
She turned to him, her eyes moist. “This is all my fault. If I had just done my job, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
He pulled her into his embrace and kissed her hair. “The most important thing is you’re here and safe with us.”
She looked up at him. “Rollin, I’m afraid.”
Rollin pulled her closer. “I know.”
“He could hurt us.”
“I won’t let that happen.” He said, holding her.
She shook her head against him. “You don’t understand. He’s ruthless.”
He lifted her chin to meet his eyes. “I know. Cinnamon, he’s never seen me.”
“You’re an actor! You spend your days making your face famous.”
“And I’m a disguise artist and a former spy! Together we can get him. We have to do something or we’ll always have this hanging over our heads!” He reminded her.
She looked into his intense eyes. “What are you saying?” She asked.
“I may be a better spy than I am an actor.” He confessed.
She considered this statement. “I think you’re a fine actor.” She said. He smiled. “Come on,” he said taking her arm, “you need to rest.”
She went inside with him. Was he really considering ‘the game’ again? No, she was afraid and he was just being protective.
The next morning he sat beside her on the edge of the bed. She opened her eyes at the smell of coffee. “Morning.” He said.
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” She asked.
“Not this morning.” He replied. “You want coffee?”
She shook her head, no. “Where’s Jen?”
“Clamoring to see you.” He said. Her hand went to her eye.
“I can fix that.” He said.
She moved the covers aside and followed him to bathroom where his things were all laid out and ready to work. With Rollin’s expert help, Cinnamon’s black eye was quickly concealed from Jennifer. “There you are, Sweetheart. Good as new.” Rollin said as he finished her makeup.
Cinnamon looked in the mirror. She was pleasantly surprised to see all traces of her blackened eye gone from her face. She smiled up at him. “You really are good, aren’t you?”
He laid his brush aside. “You should know.” He gave her a wink and began to gather his things from the sink. Cinnamon scrutinized her eye in the mirror then began to brush her hair.
“Rollin,” Cinnamon called as he moved toward the shower. “Thank you.” She said.
“You’re welcome, Miss Lady Spy.” He said with a wink.
Rollin further delayed his trip to the studio to pay a call on Jim Phelps.
Having obtained a pass into the facility through Jim’s secretary, he waited outside Jim’s office. The phone buzzed on Connie’s desk. “Please go right in, Mr. Hand.”
“Thank you, Connie.”
“Morning, Rollin. How are you?” Jim called.
“Jim.” Rollin said crossing the room to shake his former teammate’s hand.
“I had a feeling I might be hearing from you today.” He said sitting on the edge of his desk.
“Really?” Rollin was wary.
Jim nodded. “We couldn’t have prevented what happened.”
“You usually plan for all contingencies.”
“Almost all, Rollin.”
“Jim, I want to know what you know about Fetyukov. What dangers can he pose to Cinnamon and Jennifer?”
“He made some threats, Rollin. How real they were, we don’t know.” Jim was proceeding cautiously with his friend, aware that Cinnamon may have told him more than she should.
“Cinnamon said he had a lot information and she’s concerned for her safety and Jennifer’s. I hope you’re taking that seriously.”
Jim looked at Rollin hard. “Of course I am.”
“Is this guy a target now?”
“I can’t discuss that with you.”
Rollin met Jim’s eye. “Could you discuss it with me if I were back on the team?”
“What are you saying, Rollin? Do you want to come back?” Jim asked.
Rollin nodded. “I’ve thought about it.”
Jim reached inside his coat pocket for a cigarette. “You told me when you left you couldn’t deal with all the bureaucracy.” Jim lit his smoke. “It hasn’t gotten any better.”
Rollin watched his former team leader. “Yeah, I’m not surprised.”
Jim moved to a chair in front of his desk. “Rollin, I know this is hard but there really wasn’t anything she could have done.”
Rollin sat down next to him. “Jim, what do I do about Jennifer?”
“We’re doing everything we can to track him. But that’s only so much.”
“I have to do something Jim. I can’t just wait around for something to happen.” He said moving from the chair.
Jim watched this friend. “You know this isn’t the place for revenge. You learned that a long time ago. If you really are interested in coming back, we can discuss it, but only when this business with Cinnamon is over. Besides it will take me that long to update your clearance. It’s been ten years.”
Rollin’s head shagged. “Yeah, okay, I get it, more paperwork.” Jim smiled as Rollin moved back to him.
“It will take time if you really want to come back.”
“First things first, Jim, I’ve got to take care of Cinnamon and Jennifer.” Rollin said.
Jim stood. “We will. I promise you that. They’re important to me too.”
Rollin nodded and extended his hand. “Thanks, Jim.”
Jim shook his hand. “Anytime Rollin. Hang in there. We’ll get him.”
Rollin nodded. Jim’s phone buzzed. “Ms. Carter to see you, Sir.”
Jim smiled. “Do you want me to tell her anything about what we talked about?”
Rollin shook his head. “No, I will, when the time is right. Is there a side door outta here?” Rollin asked.
THE END
Elena Vorska