Slipping through my fingers
September 1975
Jennifer sat eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table. It was
Cinnamon stood smiling in the doorway of the kitchen watching her daughter. Her thoughts were interrupted when the telephone rang.
“Daddy!” Jennifer yelled as she jumped from her seat at the table. She dashed across the room and grabbed the kitchen extension. “Hello, Carter residence.”
“Heyya kiddo!” Rollin called.
“I knew it was you Daddy.” Jennifer said.
“All ready for your first day of school, Sweetheart?”
“Yep. I have a book bag, just like you.”
“That’s terrific, Jen. I wish I was there to see you, Sweetheart.”
“You’re working Daddy, you can’t be here, you told me.”
Cinnamon moved into the room toward the sink with her coffee cup as she listened to her daughter’s side of their conversation.
“Mom’s here. You want to talk to her?”
“Sure.”
Jennifer held out the receiver to Cinnamon. “Mom. Daddy wants to talk to you.” She called.
Cinnamon crossed to the telephone. “Sweetie, run upstairs and brush your teeth. We have to leave in a little bit.” She said, pulling the earring from her ear as she took the receiver from Jen.
“K, Mom.” Jennifer was off at a run.
Cinnamon put the phone to her ear. “Hi stranger.”
“Hi beautiful. How ya doing?” His accent always reappeared when he was
in
“Fine. Trying to keep up with the blonde whirlwind.”
Rollin smiled. “She that bad?”
Cinnamon smiled. “Yes.”
Rollin laughed. “You can handle her.”
“You didn’t spend an hour last night picking out the perfect outfit.” She said with a glance at Maria, who was cleaning up Jennifer’s breakfast.
“I’m glad that doesn’t run in the family.” He said with a laugh.
“How’s the play?”
“Fine. When will you two be able to come back to see me?” He asked.
“We were just there Rollin…for a week.”
“When’s her first holiday?”
“Not until Thanksgiving.”
“You could come then.” He offered.
“We’ll have to see.”
“I miss you.” His voice went low.
“I miss you too.”
“Tell Jen that I’ll call her tonight to find out all about school.”
“She’ll want to give you the whole story, I’m sure.”
“I’ll talk to you tonight.”
“Bye.”
Cinnamon hung up the phone as Jennifer ran into the room. “Is he gone? I hurried.”
Cinnamon reached for her daughter’s cheek. “He said he’ll call you tonight. He wants to hear about everything.”
Jennifer smiled brightly. She loved telling her daddy stories. “Terrific!”
Cinnamon smiled at her daughters’ use of Rollin’s favorite word.
“Do you have everything ready to go?”
“Yes Mom.”
“Good. I’ll get my things.”
“Okay Mom.”
Cinnamon went to her office to gather her portfolio for Allure. She paused as she picked up her car keys. Her daughter was going out in the world today. Jennifer was excited and Cinnamon knew that it meant a lot to her, but Cinnamon also had some apprehension. She had to learn to give Jen the freedom she wanted, but Cinnamon knew that her own past would always be with her and she hoped that it never got translated to danger for Jennifer.
She rejoined Jennifer in the kitchen. Maria had helped Jennifer put on her sweater and Jen had her book bag in hand. “I’m ready Mom.”
Cinnamon smiled at Jennifer, who was smiling with anticipation. Cinnamon found it hard to see her child growing up so fast.
Cinnamon took a camera from the counter. “How about a picture, so we can show Dad.”
"K, Mom."
Maria came forward to snap their picture.
Soon they were off to Jennifer's school. Jennifer had attended kindergarten at the same school so she was familiar with the teachers and her classmates. Cinnamon had met her new teacher. The school had already passed the security check. When it came to Jennifer, Cinnamon took no chances.
They pulled up in front of the school and Cinnamon turned to Jennifer who was anxious to join her friends.
“Sweetheart, you be good for Miss Simpson."
"I will Mom."
"Good, I’ll pick you up this afternoon." Cinnamon kissed her cheek.
"K Mom."
Jennifer opened the door to car and hopped out then turned back for her book bag.
Cinnamon smiled at her daughter, "I love you, sweetie."
"Bye, Mom." She said slammed the door and ran to join her friends.
Cinnamon watched her. She was her father’s daughter.
With a sigh, she put the car in gear and moved off to work.
Cinnamon returned to collect Jennifer at three p.m. and listened as her daughter described her day. Cinnamon was constantly amazed by Jen's attention to detail.
Rollin called just after dinner and listened patiently as Jen went through her entire day with him. Cinnamon appreciated his indulgence of their daughter.
When they had finished, Cinnamon picked up the extension in her office.
"Sounds like she had a big day," He said.
"She's a first grader. Everything’s more important now."
"I guess."
"How are you?" He asked.
"Fine." She lied.
He smiled, "You used to be a better liar."
She chuckled. ‘I used to be a lot of things.’ She thought. “Do you remember Ambrosini?”
“That Italian who charmed you? Sure.”
She remembered her phone call from Michael earlier in the day.
“Is he still interested in the agency?” Rollin asked.
“Possibly. I spoke with Michael today about a contract. They have done well. So that could be helpful.”
“No earthquakes this time, I hope.”
Cinnamon remembered her last visit with the financier and the earthquake that had stopped last February’s meetings cold. Michael’s studio had sustained minor damage so their meeting for the next day had been cancelled. Cinnamon had hoped that she could interest Fabrizo in the agency and with Michael’s help she could have another chance. She loved her work with her agency, Allure, but it wasn’t has fulfilling as it had once been. And nothing had ever satisfied her like the IMF had.
“Is he coming into town?” Rollin asked. He was not at all sure how he felt about Cinnamon being involved with the handsome millionaire.
“Michael didn’t say.”
Rollin felt some relief. “You’ll know if it’s the right thing to do or not.”
Cinnamon sighed as she looked across her desk at a recent picture of Jennifer and Rollin in New York.
“What is it, Sweetheart?” He asked.
“I saw Jim last week.”
“Jim Phelps?”
“Yes.”
“About?”
“It was not to talk about Jimmy and Mary.”
“I see. What are you planning?”
“I don’t know what to do Rollin.” She sighed again. “I’m losing Jennifer and my work is just…my work…..”
Cinnamon had just seen Jim and Mary at a birthday party at the Collier’s. Jim had been direct in asking her if she would be interested in returning to ‘the company”. It had set her to thinking. Jim had hinted at the possibility for the past couple of years. She had admitted to herself that it was truly her calling and that Allure was just a business to her.
Rollin was soft. “Sweetheart, she’s just growing up.”
“She’s so independent now.”
“You taught her that.”
Cinnamon had to smile.
“She is your daughter, Cinnamon. You will never lose her.”
Cinnamon sighed.
“Come on Sweetheart, she will always be your little girl.” He reassured her.
“I just see her as my baby.” She said reaching for a picture of Rollin holding Jennifer at two years old.
Rollin smiled. “She will always be that.” He continued. “I wish I was there to see her off to school.”
“I wish you were here too.”
“Please come for Thanksgiving. We could take her to the parade.” He continued. “I just need to see you. I miss both of you so much.”
“We miss you too.”
“Then come in November.”
“We’ll have to see Rollin.”
“Please Cin. I really need to see you.”
“You have a one track mind.”
“Only where you’re concerned.” He said with a smile.
“You know if we can be there, we will.”
“I hope so.”
She glanced at her watch. “Rollin, I need to tuck Jen in.”
“Kiss her goodnight for me.”
“I will.”
“Cinnamon, I love you.”
“I love you, too. Goodnight.”
She hung up the phone and went upstairs to kiss her daughter goodnight.
“What did Daddy say?” Jennifer asked.
“He said he was sorry he had to miss your first day of school.”
Jennifer looked at her mother seriously. “When Daddy comes back will he stay with us forever?”
Cinnamon sat beside her daughter and smoothed her hair back and smiled. “I hope so, Sweetheart.”
“I miss Daddy, Mommy.”
“I know Honey. So do I.” She said hugging Jennifer.
THE END
Elena Vorska
January 2002
<return to the retirement universe>