Preparations
December, 1969
Christmas Eve had become a special evening over the last three years for Cinnamon and her teammates. No matter where they were or what they were involved in, they spent it together. She always tried to decorate a small tree in her apartment, if she was in town. This year would be different for all of the group, in more ways than one.
She was looking forward to the holiday, more importantly she was looking forward to the birth of her child. ‘Their child’, she corrected herself, as she stood adjusting the ornaments on the tree
Rollin was on his way to pick her up for the annual IMF Christmas Eve gathering. Barney had taken over the festivities from her this year. With Rollins’ recent resignation from the IMF, she wasn’t exactly sure what their reception would be. But they were her partners and she knew they understood her situation. With her leave of absence granted, she had not been surprised when Rollin decided to resign from the IMF. He simply told her the excitement had gone out of it for him when she left the team.
Still, she missed the rush of the phone call from Jim and the preparation (or lack thereof) for a mission. She knew she’d be back, once the baby came.
So many things had changed for her over the last few months. Her work, her body, her entire life had been overturned. She was still overseeing her modeling agency. She had been seriously thinking about getting out of modeling over the past year because of changes that Jim had set in motion for her with the IMF. The pregnancy had certainly complicated her plans. She had worked out a buyout plan with her accountant that would give her a good income as the business grew and always the possibility of input should she ever want to get back in, but for now everything was in a holding pattern. Still, she was keeping her hand in on a regular basis. Cinnamon had surrounded herself with a good staff and good financial people and she trusted their advice. But it was her work with ‘the company’ that always brought her the most satisfaction.
When she realized that she was pregnant, she had felt a rush of emotions, fear being one of the first. Her uncertainly about Rollin was right. He had bolted when she told him the news. That had hurt her deeply. It would be a long time before she could completely trust him. He’d apologized many times for that terrible day and he promised he would be there for her and the baby. She knew he would try, but she realized that the child would always be her responsibility. She’d accepted that when Dr. Green confirmed the news.
She sometimes felt Rollin was just doing the ‘right’ thing, standing by her. He had even proposed to her. When she didn’t accept his repeated offers, it had disappointed him, but she wasn’t completely sure he could settle down to the rigors of married life.
She also knew he had seen other women during their three years together. It was his nature. Maybe that was why she couldn’t marry him. She did not want to be with someone who was unfaithful to her. No, it was more than that. She enjoyed her independence and marriage had always been a traditional role she was really not interested in. She was drawn to the danger and intrigue of the work she did for the IMF. Maybe that’s what made Rollin attractive to her, he was free-spirited and full of intrigue too. He was also a good lover. He brought her pleasures that no man ever had. Sex to him was an art and one he practiced well.
Their attraction had been intense and immediate. From their first meeting, she had felt something electric pass between them. She knew that they shared something unique; an electricity between them when he was in the same room and it was sometimes completely overwhelming to her. As their relationship progressed, the clandestine meetings between them just added fuel to the fire that burned between them. What surprised her now was that even without the added spark of the mission to ignite them, they were still passionate for each other. She did love him and she knew he loved her. The problem was they just didn’t know how to work it out between themselves.
It took time for Rollin to accept the pregnancy, but once he did he was focused on everything about it. He tired to make the doctor’s appointments, understand the mood swings and the lot. He had nearly moved in with her. They didn’t discuss it, it just happened. He began coming home to her place, much more than to his own.
Maria still harbored her own doubts about him but seemed to like him and that made Cinnamon happy. Maria was becoming much more than an employee to Cinnamon. Maria was devoted to her and kept her safe. She wished Maria were there for the holidays, but instead she’d gone to be with her sister in San Diego.
Cinnamon moved her hand across her tight round belly. She thought about what she’d given up for this child. Her two careers were in the forefront of her mind, but she knew in time that it would work out. Her biggest concession for the baby had been giving up her cigarettes. She still longed for a smoke occasionally, but when Cinnamon made up her mind about something, it was done.
She smiled when she thought about when, on a whim, Rollin had quit out of deference to her. She knew he still had a smoke, now and again. She could taste it when he kissed her. But it was becoming less and less often.
She turned at the sound of the key in the lock and it opened. Rollin appeared, a smile crossing his face. He hadn’t expected to find her standing in the living room. “Well hello.”
“Hi.” She called as he moved toward her.
“Didn’t expect to find you ready to go.” He said kissing her cheek.
“Well almost…” she continued as she raised her foot. “I couldn’t quite reach my feet.”
He chuckled as he noticed her shoes on the coffee table. “Allow me.”
He took her shoes and knelt beside her, as she steadied herself with her hand on his shoulder. He slipped each one onto her already swollen feet. His hand caressed her calf as he finished his task.
“Thank you.” She said as he stood beside her
“My pleasure.” He took her hand, which was swollen as well. “I don’t suppose we’re going dancing tonight?”
She looked at him. “Very funny. I’m sure I’d look just great on a dance floor.”
His hand went to her neck, underneath her hair. “I think you look beautiful.” He said kissing her softly.
“For a whale.”
“I can see I’m not going to win this one.”
“I’m sorry. I just feel huge.” She said her hand dropping to his arm.
“I know. But it won’t be much longer now.”
“I’ll be glad when this is over.” She said.
Rollin pulled her to him, as best he could. ‘That’ll make two of us.’ He thought
He patted her back. “Come on let’s get on over to Barney’s. That’ll cheer you up.”
They drove across town to Barney’s house. He’d just purchased it for his wife, Paula and their young son, Grant. Cinnamon knew that Paula would like to have more kids and she hoped Barney did too.
Barney and Paula were good friends to her. Paula called regularly checking on her, seeing if she needed anything or just needed to talk. Barney deserved someone special and Paula was it. She was tall, attractive and had a warm personality. She was different from Jim’s wife, Mary.
Mary had always been a little distant to her. Cinnamon had always thought it was because she’d worked so closely with Jim on so many assignments. Mary was devoted to Jim and trusted him explicitly. She knew that work he did was dangerous but she somehow knew he’d be okay. She had an intuitive sense that Cinnamon envied a bit. Mary could read a situation or person better than anyone she knew. Cinnamon wondered if Jim used Mary as the final field test in agent training. Deception being such a big part of the job, Mary would be able to spot a phony a mile away. She and Jim had just had their first baby, James Phelps, Jr. Cinnamon hoped she might have a chance to chat with Mary about what to expect. She hoped that would help bring them a little closer. Paula had of course given her a crash course in pregnancy and baby-rearing. One thing would never change, Cinnamon always believed in being prepared for every situation.
She also knew that both Mary and Jim did not approve of the relationship she and Rollin shared. But then again, she and Rollin were still working things out for themselves.
Cinnamon was just a little nervous about this party. The gatherings had been her idea when she was a new member of the team and she wondered that if now things would be different. She was on leave and Rollin was out. Would things remain the same with their friends?
Rollin helped her from the car when they arrived. Cinnamon was very impressed with the house. She and Rollin had been discussing moving to a house when the baby came. They had started looking, but didn’t want to move until after the baby was born.
Willy greeted them at the door. “Cinnamon!” He exclaimed, reaching for her hand.
“Hi Willy!” She said as he took her hand helping her up the steps and into the house.
“Hey Will.” Rollin said as he followed Cinnamon.
Willy quickly shook his hand. “Looks like a house full of new father’s tonight.”
Rollin smiled as he moved to Cinnamon’s side, his hand moving automatically to the small of her back. “Where’s everybody?”
“In the den. Come on I’ll show you.” He said leading them through the house. “You just missed Dan and Crystal.” Willy said as they followed him
“Oh…” Cinnamon said dismayed at missing Crystal. “Why did they leave so early?”
“I guess Billy was pretty up a fight about going to bed.” He said moving though the house.
Cinnamon admired Paula’s tasteful decorating throughout the house. She and Barney were perfect together. She put up with his working all night on projects and he understood her commitment to civic activities.
The party was in full swing as they entered the den. Carols were playing on the stereo. Barney and Jim huddled together at the bar. Mary sat on the sofa holding her new son.
Paula looked up as they entered. “Cinnamon!” She called, careful not to wake the baby.
Cinnamon smiled at her voice. “Sorry we’re late.”
Paula crossed to her quickly. “You’re not.” She replied, giving her a quick hug.
She kissed Rollin’s cheek. “Come and meet the new addition.” She said ushering them over to meet the baby.
Mary looked up from the bundle in her arms, beaming. Jim and Barney came back to the group to greet the new arrivals.
Jim shook Rollin’s outstretched hand over the back of the sofa. “Congratulations.” Rollin said.
Jim grinned as he stood behind his wife looking down at his child.
Cinnamon eased herself down next to Mary and the baby. “He’s beautiful.”
“Thank you.” Mary said. “How are you doing?”
Cinnamon sighed. “Fine, I suppose. Feeling like a whale.”
Mary laughed softly. “Then it can’t be much longer. That’s how I felt just before I delivered.”
Cinnamon leaned back, her hand going to her stomach. “I can only hope.”
Rollin moved around to the rear of the sofa and touched her shoulder. “Can I get you anything?”
“Something sparkling, please.”
Rollin gave her shoulder a squeeze as he moved to the bar.
Paula joined Cinnamon and Mary on the sofa for their discussions of all things surrounding babies. Paula smiled at the mention of Grant’s name. He was just over a year and half old and an absolute delight to his mother.
It was a quiet evening for the group. Willy felt a little out of place with all the new and soon to be fathers.
He and Rollin ventured out onto the deck with drinks in hand.
“So Rollin. You ready to be a dad?” Willy asked.
“I hope so Will. I know Cinnamon will be glad when it’s over.”
“Has it been hard?”
“More for her, than me.” He smiled. “She doesn’t like to go out much. I suppose when you’ve been a model, its hard for her to see such a drastic change in her body.”
“I think she looks great.” Willy said, appreciatively.
Rollin chuckled, “So do I.”
Rollin took a long pull on his beer. “Actually Willy, it is a little awe-inspiring. I mean feeling the baby move, it’s pretty incredible.”
“Yeah, they are so small.”
“Yeah.” Rollin looked though the doors at Cinnamon who was sharing a laugh with the girls and he smiled. Incredible wasn’t the word for her he thought, she was going to be the mother of his child.
They ventured back inside to join the others. The girls where still giggling on the sofa at a private joke as they stepped through the door.
They all made it an early evening for the group. Mary and Jim wanted to get home with the baby and Cinnamon was just plain tired. They said their goodnights to their hosts.
Back at her apartment, Rollin waited for her and she soon slipped under the covers next to him and sighed.
“Better?” He asked.
She looked over at him and nodded.
He switched off the light. He scooted over to her and brought her into his embrace. He kissed her hair. “Want me to rub your back?”
She rolled onto her side away from him.
He smiled. “I take it that’s a yes.” He massaged her back, his large hands kneading her tight muscles.
“You don’t know how good that feels.” She murmured, relaxing into her pillow.
He leaned forward and kissed her shoulder. “What were you girls giggling about tonight anyway?” He asked.
She smiled. “Paula was telling us how she and Barney got her to deliver.”
“And…”
“They had sex every night for a week.”
“Oh.” Rollin laughed, “You want to give it a try?” His hand moved around from her back to her stroke her belly.
She rolled back against him. “I’m not due for two weeks.”
“Even better.” He said with a grin.
She smiled up at him. “You never change.”
He leaned down to her and kissed her softly. “You love it.”
“I love you.” She said as he kissed her again.
He made love to her slowly, taking his time to build her to a climax. He smoothed her damp hair back from her forehead as he kissed her. “Okay?” He whispered.
She nodded as she wove her fingers through the fingers of his other hand. “I think I needed that.” She said with a chuckle.
He spooned her as she rolled onto her side. He kissed her neck. “We both did.”
She sighed as his hand caressed her belly. “Merry Christmas.” She whispered.
He kissed her neck, settled in next to her and drifted into peaceful slumber.
THE END
Elena Vorska
May, 2001