Letting Go
May, 1976
It happened after the couple had attended a holiday cookout at the home of one of Ted’s partners. Cinnamon met all of his friend’s and their wives. She had even overheard throughout the day Ted’s friends had congratulating him on his gorgeous new girlfriend and teasing him about how great their sex life must be. Ted had been a gentleman about that, keeping to himself that they had not yet consummated their relationship.
Cinnamon enjoyed his company very much and she knew he was really falling for her. Since the end of March, they had been dating regularly, both with and without the children. She had been candid with him about getting over a long-term relationship with Jennifer’s father and asked him to try to understand that she needed time. He told her that he had experienced the same thing right after his divorce five years earlier. However, she knew he was getting impatient that she was keeping him at bay.
As they drove back to his house that evening she remembered her decision that morning that she would consummate their relationship. He reached across the console of his convertible Jaguar XJS and rested his hand on Cinnamon’s thigh. She was wearing linen shorts and a sleeveless blouse and after a full day in the sun, she still looked fresh and crisp.
She smiled and covered his hand with hers.
“You getting chilly? Want me to put the top up?”
“No, it’s a beautiful night…I had a wonderful time, Ted, thank you for taking me. Your friends are very nice.”
“Well, they think the same about you.” As they pulled up to a red light, he leaned over to kiss her. “And so do I.”
She accepted his kiss and was pleased to be excited by its
promise. Jennifer was in
As they pulled in front of his house, he parked the Jag next to her car. Shutting off the engine and leaned across and kissed her again.
“You are so beautiful, Cinnamon Carter.”
She smiled and returned the compliment, “You’re pretty handsome yourself, Doctor Ayres.”
“You think so?” he teased, trying to get as close to her as he could in the cockpit of the small coupe.
“Mmm, definitely,” she purred as he kissed her throat.
“Then why am I taking so many cold showers lately?”
She smiled shyly and put her hand on his chest, “Sorry….I just needed to take things slowly. I’m still…”
He stopped her, “I know, Cinnamon, I’ve been there. I just want you to know I want you very much and I’m pretty sure you’re worth the wait.”
Cinnamon gave him a sultry look as she moistened her lips, “Well, I guess we’ll just need to find out…”
With that, she leaned across, taking his face in her hands and gave him a deep kiss, which left nothing to doubt.
“Let’s go inside.” She got out of the car while he hesitated, not believing how his luck was changing.
Once they were in the foyer of his Tudor-style house in Hollywood Hills, She moved into his arms without turning on the lights. She pressed herself tightly against him.
“Cinnamon….” He exhaled against her hair as his hands explore her back and hips thru the lightweight material.
Cinnamon kissed him to silence him. She knew herself well enough to know that she needed very much not to talk or think right now...
Ted was a good lover and very attentive to her needs. He went out of his way to satisfy her but, as hard as she tried, she could not help comparing him to Rollin. With Rollin, making love was always the way she had imagined it should be: exciting and passionate, leaving her breathless and always wanting more. If she’d never experienced what it could be like with Rollin, Ted would have seemed perfect.
She lay there staring at the ceiling, Ted sleeping peacefully next to her. Normally after love making, she and Rollin would be curled around each other, neither wanting to let go of the other.
Her problem, though, was that she did know how things could be with Rollin and she missed him terribly. Sometimes she wished she weren’t so stubborn. More than once she had picked up the phone to tell him how she felt, but she always returned the receiver to its cradle. If Rollin had regrets about their argument, he had not made any efforts to show it and she was not going to make the first move, only to risk rejection.
Rollin had seemingly moved on. Maybe she needed to as well, it worked for him. She thought about the conversation she had with Jim a few days ago. He very much wanted her to travel come summer to reacquaint herself with the network that he had built over the years. It would be a long trip and she was unsure just how Ted would react to her being away.
They had only been seeing since each other since March but Cinnamon knew that Ted could be a good provider and father, she had seen that. But could he accept that she had a secret life. One that he couldn’t know about….at least not yet.
The End
Betsy Nicholas
April 2002