My first
meetings with MB, a dream
lover
:
From
lack of sleep, my
eyelids tend to stick together. I cannot
think straight. I feel happy, like it seldom happened to me
in my life. But, my whole body is letting me know that I
miss MB terribly. You guessed it! I am in love!
Everything started a week ago, on Sunday, October 14, 2007, when
an email arrived into my mailbox, informing me that somebody, member of a
meeting
website, wanted to get in touch with me.
After I had a look at my correspondent’s profile, I was not
feeling very strongly for that man, about my age,
living in the Montreal area. But, within the next
few hours, we were already chatting on MSN
Messenger.
I
learned, then, that he lived in the Quebec City area. I had
an invitation for a coffee in a restaurant and another one
to spend some vacation days with him. Then, my little heart started to
beat at a quick pace. This man, who used MB as a nickname,
was quite charming and almost irresistible.
During the following days, we established a record for the
number of hours spent together, chatting on the Web.
Then, we agreed to meet on the next Thursday evening, in a
Normandin's restaurant.
As the day of the meeting came closer, I felt
more and more nervous and I got my usual lack of self
confidence attacks. MB kept telling me that I had nothing to
worry about. But I guess I was starting to dream about him
falling in love with me, something which does not have too
many chances to occur.
Individuals like me, who are
about half woman / half man, are pretty well aware that the
greatest majority of the men, who show an interest for us,
just want to realize a sexual fantasy. And, it is even truer
for a person of my age. It would never come to their mind to
fall in love with the object of their
desires.
Moreover, I
often got under the impression that the men, who never had
an adventure before with a transvestite, which was the case
for MB, do
not come back for a second time.
So
was my state of mind, on that Thursday afternoon, as I was
getting ready for
our meeting. Something rather unusual for me, for such an
occasion, I dressed in a rather casual way. I did not even
try to look as elegant as possible. But, like so many men
before requested from me, MB had the fantasy to have me
naked, under my long skirt. So, I wore no panties to meet
him. My heart was racing at a very high speed and I was
afraid it could skip a beat. On the other hand, I also felt
like I was going strait to the
slaughter-house.
Despite my poor state of mind, something unusual happened to
me.
I was the first one to arrive at our meeting. MB came in
just a few minutes later. As soon as he was seated in front
of me, he broke the ice very easily and I started to
feel very calm. Very quickly, he made me realize that he was
the same man I had imagined, while chatting during the
previous days.
He
is quite extraordinary and very interesting because of his
life experience. But, I appreciate him mainly because he cares to
show his emotions and seem so sincere.
Those of you who know me well enough might not believe that no
longer
than an hour and a half after we actually met, I was already
at his place. No more than a few minutes later, my makeup
was already ruined (he kisses like a god) and my body was
only left covered with a bra, a short corset, stockings and
high heels (No! Contrary to the lyrics of a popular song, it
is not enough clothes to be loved, for me, but, on that evening, it
was).
That body of mine, which I have always hated, was not any
longer part of my preoccupations, except when all my limbs
were shivering under MB's attacks with his hands and his
lips. That man had already started to make myself become a
new woman. That body of mine had just become to be a
pleasure object, for my own pleasure. MB had even convinced
me that my mouth could give him pleasure, just like if I had
become an expert in that matter (LOL).
By the way, that villain had already guessed my tastes for
wine by storing a good bottle of Chablis into his fridge,
especially for me.
He
surprised and charmed me with his compliments on the
elegance on my shoes, whereas I was under the impression
that this kind of accessory left him completely indifferent.
But he surprised me even more with his caresses and their
efficiency on my body. As a matter of fact, from the moment
I entered his place till I left, I enjoyed shivers of
pleasure for hours, with peaks so high that tears came into
my eyes. No need to explain to you, then, that I did not
resist for long, when he proposed to share his bed.
The next morning,
before the sun rose completely, I slipped out of the bed, to
go back home, while my lover was still sleeping. Later,
during the day, he complained about my behaviour because I
did not give him a kiss before I left. But, he did not
answer back when I explained that I felt unable to let him
the vision of my nakedness and my smeared face right after
our first night as lovers.
I
had just lived an adventure to which the majority of the
girls of my type dream about, at one time or another of
their life, but refuses to believe in it because it is
reserved exclusively to a very small number of us.
During
all these marvellous hours spent together, the sole dark
moment, for me, happened when MB admitted that I should
never hope to be seen, by his side, in public. Even if I
understood pretty well his reasons, it came right away to my
mind that he was ashame of me and I felt hurt, at least for a
few moments.
By
the way,
during the night, something funny happened. In the darkness,
after I had gathered my clothes, which were scattered almost
everywhere around the house, I got dressed. But, when came
the time to buckle the ankle straps of my shoes, I just
could not do it. Without them, I knew I could not get down
the numerous steps which lead to my car, on the street.
Moreover, it rained outside and the idea to go barefoot on
the wet pavement horrified me. It took me almost thirty
minutes, and the consumption of at least two cigarettes
before I could, at last, buckles those straps. Fortunately,
when I closed the door behind me, MB was still snoring
(lol).
The following day, Friday, MB invited me to have supper
with him to watch an interesting boxing match. I accepted
his invitation without any hesitations.
During the course of our conversations, during the day, I
realized that MB still wanted to accompany me to a fetish
party, for which I had made a reservation to assist alone,
on the following day, Saturday. So, I, then, took the
necessary steps so that he could attend too.
By
the end of the afternoon, my trip to MB's place became a
real nightmare. I panicked and had no other solutions than
to call him for help and to come to seek me. As a result, I
arrived at his place more than one hour late. But, as
soon as he had taken care of my coat, I was immediately
flooded with kisses and caresses. That way, my irritation
was quickly transformed into enchantment.
For that occasion,
I wore a dress which he had chosen and he seemed happy to
see me wearing it. It was a light summer dress, made of a
blue fabric, which is usually worn when the weather is hot.
I
found the situation a bit funny.
But, you know how men are. This is the kind of detail which
passes straightforwardly over their head (lol). However, I
must admit that I did not have the feel of that fabric on my
skin for long.
Indeed,
before the boxers appeared on the screen, that dress was
replaced by a little black babydoll and my feet were shod
with a pair of high heeled black marabou mules. My secret
goal, when carrying along these accessories, having been to
dress my body in a more pleasant way than being left stark
naked, for several hours, like it happened the night before.
Fortunately, I believe that my little babydoll had its
moments of glory because, on the following day, MB asked
whether I still had it with me (lol).
Dressed that way,
MB had free access to my "clitty", a part of my body which
he seemed particularly fond of. And access there was,
believe you me. During the greatest part of my life, I would
have easily done without that sex of mine. But, that was
before MB made me learn how much intense pleasures I can
derive from it and that it would even serve as an attraction
for my lover.
Now,
I am sure that you want to know if the favourite boxer won
the match. The answer it is yes. I have known it because MB
did not bring me onto his bed as long as the match has not
reached its end.
Do
not believe that he let me die from hunger, either. He had
prepared for me delicious Thai cocktail snacks and my
favourite "croque-monsieur”. Chablis wine was abundant too.
And, to top it all, a delicious espresso coffee was served.
We did not eat dessert because the boxing match did not
leave us sufficient time for it (lol). But, he made a
package with them so that I could bring them
home.
Of
course,
during our second evening spent together, MB has again
flooded me with caresses and even brought me to new heights
of pleasure (is this possible). His caresses on my body were
done in such a loving way. Even, on the following day, everytime those feelings of pleasure I
had felt on the day before came
back to my mind, my body started to vibrate again.
And
he also made me live all kind of new emotions. The time
spent together allowed us to discover ourselves even more
(emotionally as well as physically). And, the most
marvellous effect on me being that that man knew how to
make feel like an interesting, beautiful and desirable
woman. These are the type of feelings that no other man
before him had succeeded to make me feel with such a level
of intensity. I believe that it is that sort of sincerity
which radiates from him which produced that kind of impact
on me.
Saturday morning,
I awoke, at
home, with each and every parts of my body aching and
feeling rather ugly. However, I would have so much needed to
feel beautiful and desirable in order to accompany MB at our
first public outing: the fetish party I told you about
earlier.
At
the same moment, MB was feeling kind of nervous. It should
be understood here that the bunch of people, whom we were
going to meet there, represented a brand new world for him.
As
long as I believed that I was going to attend that party on
my own, I had planned to wear a little black vinyl dress,
rather short and tight, for which I really do not have the
kind of body to wear it. I definitely would have looked like
a cheap woman wearing it. But, trying to please to MB, I
rather chose a long black dress, much more stylish and
elegant. His sole request having been that, under that
dress, I wore no panties but a chastity device which
imprisoned my sex.
When I parked my car beside MB's one, at the place we had
agreed upon, he
greeted
me with a superb smile and my
self-confidence came back immediately! As soon as I took
place on the seat beside him, his hands were, right away,
under my long dress. Once again, I was flooded with loving
caresses. Unexpectedly, my chastity device came off from my
sex (none of us complained). I felt beautiful and attractive
again.
At
the party,
I met several people whom I had not seen for months and some
new ones too. Everybody seemed happy to meet me again and
compliments on the way I was dressed started to flow,
including one on my lipstick (I will definitely have to find
another one like it because it has so much success). MB, who
is so brilliant with people around him, seemed relatively as
ease in this new world for him. Unfortunately, by the middle
of the evening, a minor incident (but major for him)
occurred. Then, he did not seem any longer at ease and we
left the party.
I
felt sorry for him. But, on the other hand, that did not
have that much importance for me since we took that
opportunity to move to his place. And,
there, let to me tell you that I was spoiled again.
Just let me give you a few examples of what happened to me
there.
As soon as we arrived and he had taken care of my
jacket, we were immediately in each other's arm and he
started to give me passionate kisses while, at the same
time, my dress was raised high to my waist and he was
caressing my little clitty. I took that opportunity to
surround his neck with both of my arms. Something I had
hesitated to do until then. And, soon thereafter, I
was lying on a couch, while he had my sex between his lips.
Are you jealous (LOL)?
By
the end of the evening, we had our little private domination
session, when I let him shackle my wrists behind my back and
he made me kneel, on a cushion, in front of him. Then, he
used my mouth so that I could give him some pleasure. Just
let me tell you that, at that very moment, I felt really
excited and I wanted so much to show to MB that I was ready
to give myself completely because I thus felt so happy "to
be used" by him that way. On the other hand, since I was not
blindfolded, he could not hide to me how much
excitement he
felt for himself. Do you believe I needed more encouragement
from his part?
But, sometime during the evening, a moment of tragedy/comedy
occurred. Right after he had served me a testimony of great
appreciation, I felt very emotional. And tears started to
form into my eyes. Although I felt very sorry to react like
that in front of him, at the same time, I was worried about
the fact that these tears could ruin my make-up. When I said
that to MB, he started to laugh at me and so I did, while my
tears were running down on my cheeks.
Very late in the evening, when I left MB, I felt a bit of
sadness. During the last week and, more particularly, during
the last three days, I had just lived one of the most
enjoyable
period of my life. I knew that there were great
possibilities to meet MB again, in the future. But, I also
felt that it could be our last meeting, too.
As
mentioned in the beginning of my account, on the following
day, Sunday, I had a difficult time. I missed MB enormously.
I would have wished that he had imprisoned my sex in a
chastity device and kept the key before letting to me go,
the day before. That would have given me the impression that
he wanted that I belong to him and made me feel closer to
him.
But,
I also knew that I would have to learn to live without him,
again. In my mind of a girl who always lacked
self-confidence, a thought was haunting me constantly. MB is
not gay. I even believe he is a “ladies man”. When he made
contact with me, he just wanted to realize a long time
sexual fantasy of his. So, I was imagining that he was now
feeling remorses to have lived such an adventure, which
exceeded simple sexuality, with a man "disguised" as a
woman.
Trying to take that thought out of my mind, I emailed a few
messages to him. He answered back but, for the first time
since we made contact, we did not have a real conversation
throughout
the whole day.
While I was having breakfast, at the nearest McDonald's, as
soon as she saw me, a dear friend of mine immediately knew
that there was something going on into my like. Since she is
probably the sole individual worthy enough to know about
these kinds of things, I could not resist
telling
her about
my recent adventure with MB.
During
the whole day,
as soon as I had spare time, I devoted
it to write the first draft of this text, hoping, that
someday, he would ask me, again, to let him read it and he would
know, at the same time, that I did it in the hope to please
to him.
And, at the time of the Brazilian Formula One Grand Prix,
the baseball game involving the Red Sox and the "Tout le
monde en parle" TV show (all shown on TV that day), I
constantly resisted the desire to phone MB, in order to keep
contact with him. While watching these shows, I knew
he was watching them too. But, he did not make contact with me
either, for the whole day.
Now, who knows what the future has in store for us.
Emotionally,
in my case, it could be rather "Rock 'n' roll".
As an example, on Monday morning, he just left me a little
"emoticon" on my computer screen and, suddenly, he had given
me wings. Then, later, during the day, when he wrote to me:
"I give a kiss to your splendid clitty", nobody could not have
made disappear the shy smile from my face (LOL).
But, almost one month later, after I was invited at his
place for dinner and he had requested that I be completely
naked under my coat, he did not even say hello for the next
five days and I was devastated.
In
any case, if you ever want to know if our adventure is still
alive, have a look at the photos which I post, from time to
time. They could refer to new meetings with this lover
extraordinaire.
The first set of photos which were posted on my website
appeared on the October 2007 page (click on the little
picture to have a look).
Epilogue :
Indeed, between the middle of October 2007 and the end of
February 2008, MB invited me at his place quite a few times
but on a rather irregular basis. Anyway, I considered each
new invitation like a very pleasant surprise.
As usual, prior to every one of our meetings, I asked him if
he had any preferences on the way I should dress. Almost
every time, his answer was: "naked", which meant, a garter
belt and stockings and nothing else under my coat.
Taking into account that nakedness, I thus found normal that
he seemed to panic and was in a hurry to find a place for me
to hide, each time a visitor was expected at his place or
when, on one occasion, at the last minute, he asked me to
delay my arrival at his place.
Moreover, in connection with the irregular frequency of our
meetings, he explained that they were due to his failing
health. As a matter of fact, pretty soon after our first
meeting, a very serious illness was diagnosed by his
physician. That illness impaired so much his way of living
so that, by the end of February 2008, he had to quit his job
and to move to a less expensive apartment. These drastic
changes in his life placed our relationship to idle and, for
almost the whole month of March 2008, we only chatted
briefly on a couple of occasions.
But, on March 27, 2008, during one our theses chatting
sessions, MB told me that he preferred to put an end to our
relationship. I will remember his last words as: "It is a
pity".
As
far as I am concerned, I believe that, although he had
always tried to make me think otherwise, he felt so ashamed
to have a relationship with me that he was not willing to
take the slightness chance to make me come around his former
place, either in the daylight, or, to his new place, even in
the darkness of the night. As an example, his last proposal,
during our last conversation, tells a lot about his state of
mind towards me.
That proposal has been that, under the pretence that I could
fix poles for his uninstalled curtains, I should disguise
myself as a "construction worker". I was devastated! In my
mind, it could only mean that his interest for me was not
based on his perception that I represented the "best of both
worlds", like he had tried to convince me so many times.
And, my disappointment was even greater because, until that
moment, I had hoped that we could finally see each other
without having to hide to the world. That hope was based on
the fact, that having had to quit his job, because of his
illness, my presence beside him could not compromise the
source of his income any more. Then, his attitude towards me
could only mean that his interest for me was exclusively
sexual. That made me even wonder why he made me wear
stockings and high heels.
I
suspect that a lot of "girls" like me would be quite happy
to benefit from the caresses of such a lover. But, as far as
I am concerned, I need to believe that I am loved to enjoy
the caresses fully. This is probably one of the
disadvantages of not being a "real" man.
In
spite of my bitterness, which resulted with the way our
relationship ended, I do not regret anything and I retain
several positive aspects associated with that relationship.
In the first place, I, nevertheless, consider that, at my
age, I have been very fortunate to have benefited from the
lovemaking of such a very interesting man, even if that
attention was directed only to my body. And, in connection
with that body of mine, which I have always hated since my
teenage years, he made me realize that it could still be a
source of attractiveness, for some men, for more than a "one
night stand". On top of all this, MB, by his caresses, made
me discover ways of making love to me which had left me
quite indifferent until then.
