Howie, Nick and AJ entered the hallway, stopping dead in their tracks as they watched Brian, with Kevin trailing closely behind, walk slowly towards them. Head bent low, glancing at the card in hand, Brian almost bumped into them. Startled, he took a few steps back and an awkward moment of silence fell as Brian stared blankly at them, the exhaustion evident in his blue eyes. Nick tore his gaze away from Brian just long enough to give Kevin a desperate, inquiring look. Pursing his lips together tightly, Kevin shook his head in a quiet warning. Nick swung back to his best friend and shuffled uneasily, at a loss of what to say or do.
"Hey."
It was a stupid, stupid thing to say and Nick kicked himself mentally, angered at his childish acknowledgment.
Brian blinked a few times. "Hey, … Frack."
Nick's heart soared in relief, glad that Brian had spoken his nickname. It was an opening, an opportunity, the beginning he needed to ….
"Stay the hell away from me."
Brian brushed by hurriedly, not noticing the stunned look on Nick's face. Grimacing a little, he swiped his entry card, pushed open the door, letting it close with a soft click.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nick stared at the closed door, his mouth dropped open in astonishment. Snapping it shut a second later, Nick threw his arms up in the air, shaking his head. He turned to Kevin, frustrated.
"What's going on?"
Glancing once more at Brian's closed door, Nick's eyes narrowed. "Okay, that's it, I've had it! I'm gonna…."
Kevin reached out and placed a solid hand on Nick's shoulder, preventing him from taking another step. "Nick, don't. Stop. Let Brian sleep. He needs it." Kevin faced the others. "I saw Xavier giving Brian some pills at the arena. Looked like painkillers."
AJ , Howie, and Nick glanced at each other and Kevin gave a concerned frown. "What? You guys know about that?"
"No, but we're not surprised," explained AJ. "Xavier hurt Brian pretty bad." Noticing the sudden alarm in Kevin's face, AJ rubbed his forehead tiredly, nodding at Howie to continue.
Kevin turned to Howie. "I'll fill you in," Howie said quietly, glancing up and down the hallway, "but not here. In fact, we all need to talk about this. Let's get settled, then meet in Kevin's room, say, in about 30 minutes?" Howie glanced up from his watch to see everyone nod in agreement. "Okay? Good."
* * * * * * * * * *
Brian didn't even notice the duffel bag slipping from his fingers as he crawled exhaustedly onto his bed, grabbing the closest pillow into a tight embrace. He buried his face into its soft depths and willed himself to relax, to breathe normally. He could do neither. His body ached, a raw and constant burning, his chest rising erratically in short and shallow gasps. Brian turned over on his side and squeezed his eyes shut, praying for the constant throbbing in his lower back to go away. He knew without a doubt that if Xavier were here right now, he would rip those pills out of Xavier's hand and pour every last one of them into his mouth. Brian sighed, angered at his weak self-control. He hated the way the painkillers made him feel; queasy, disoriented, scared by the crazy thoughts that raced through his head. Forcing himself off the bed, he stood up, determined to endure the pain, no matter what. Just another mind game, he thought bitterly, only now it's between me and myself. He headed for the bathroom and turned the shower on as hot as he dared, hoping the water's warmth would provide some temporary relief.
* * * * * * * * * *
Kevin swore, quickly drying his hair and then wrapped the towel around his waist, hurrying to stop the pounding on his door. Irritated by the incessant knocking, he ripped the door wide open, pissed at the guys' early arrival.
"Shit, can't you wait just a…." Kevin's voice trailed off as he stared directly at Xavier.
Not sure who was more startled, Kevin regained his composure first. "Xavier? What's up?" He tried to give the large bodyguard an annoyed look, feeling a small thrill of fear course through his spine. Xavier was looking for Brian! Thankful that he had the insight to swap entry cards at the last moment, Kevin leaned casually against the doorframe, his eyes coolly examining Xavier. "Something so important that you couldn't wait until tomorrow?" Kevin tried to tinge the sentence with a small taunt, hoping it took the bodyguard off balance. It did. Kevin saw the confusion, the embarrassment spread across the broad man's face.
"Sorry. I thought this was Brian's room."
"Obviously it's not."
Xavier shifted his large frame uncomfortably. "Mind letting me know which room Brian is in? I've got something for him."
Kevin waved his hand vaguely down the hall. "I don't remember, Xavier. Sorry. By the way he looked, I'm guessing Brian is probably asleep right now, so I wouldn't recommend knocking on his door." A sudden idea came to mind and trying not to show his eagerness, Kevin stuck out his hand casually, hoping Xavier was still flustered by his mistake. "Here, you can give me Brian's pills … I'll give them to him when I see him." He wiggled his fingers impatiently. "That is what you came to see him about, isn't it?"
Kevin watched as Xavier slowly dug out the container from his pocket, knowing that the bodyguard was unable to come up with another suitable excuse. Kevin plucked the pills from Xavier's hand and gave him a quick nod. "I'll make sure he gets them. Thanks." Kevin managed to stare evenly into Xavier's eyes, elated by his success. He watched as Xavier turned and lumbered down the hallway, not being able to resist one last jab.
"Your'e doing a great job, thanks Xavier." He smiled wickedly when he noticed a slight twitch in Xavier's neck and shoulders as the bodyguard headed towards the elevator.
* * * * * * * * * *
Brian tolerated the near-scalding heat for as long as long as possible then finally gave up, too tired to stand any more under the steaming warmth. He gingerly eased himself out of the enclosure, toweling himself off lightly, trying not to stare at the various colorful bruises that stained his body. Wiping a small circle of steam away from the mirror, he gently touch his cut brow with a curious finger, wondering what kind of a scar the deep cut was going to leave. He knew he needed to change the bandage, but upon noticing the angry rawness of the wound, decided he wasn't brave enough to attempt peeling away the dressing. Being careful not to move suddenly, he eased into the most comfortable clothes he could find and slowly lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, somewhat amazed at how much better he felt. Laying his head down on the pillow, Brian curled up slightly in the fetal position and relaxed for the first time, hoping he could get some sleep. Not bad, not bad at all… then cringed as a sharp pain lanced right through him. Not good…
* * * * * * * * * * *
Kevin watched as Xavier stepped into the elevator then quickly closed his door, scrambled into a pair of pants and raced out of his room, running barefoot to locate AJ.
It took a moment before AJ answered Kevin's frantic knock, opening the door with a toothbrush his mouth.
Kevin pushed by AJ, running a hand nervously through his dark, damp hair. AJ peeked out into the hallway, curious, then held up a hand, went into the bathroom, spat and rinsed his mouth. Walking out of the bathroom, AJ wiped his mouth quickly with a small hand towel.
"Okay, what happened?"
Kevin uncurled his fist to show the small bottle of pills.
"Shit!" breathed AJ, coming over to look. "Are those Brian's?"
Kevin nodded.
"How? What? I mean, where did you get them?"
Kevin sat down on the edge of AJ's bed. "Xavier gave them to me."
"Huh? Xavier just gave them to you?"
Kevin grinned devilishly at AJ. "No, I asked for them. Xavier was at my door a few minutes ago, knocking on it, thinking it was Brian's room. Only I had switched rooms with Brian. Intentionally."
AJ smiled at Kevin, impressed. "Go on."
"Well, I knew X was startled, embarrassed. He mumbled about needing to give Brian something. I knew he was lying so I took advantage of the situation and asked X for the pills."
"Damn." AJ looked admiringly at Kevin. "Not bad."
"Yep." Kevin leaned back on AJ's bed, tossing the bottle gleefully up and down with one hand.
"Hey, I thought we were suppose to meet in Kevin's room."
AJ and Kevin both looked up to see Nick and Howie entering through the still open door, Nick coming over to swipe at the air-borne container. He eyed the bottle suspiciously. "What are these?"
"Brian's pain pills. Xavier made a surprise visit." AJ watched their shocked faces before continuing. "Only X visited the wrong room, courtesy of Kevin's neat little trick of swapping rooms with Brian."
Howie whistled and Nick nodded in appreciation. "Nice going." Howie grabbed the pills from Nick's hand and studied the label, a slight frown on his face. "Should we give these to Brian? He looked like he could use them."
"Not now," advised Nick. "I had my ear pressed to his door just a moment ago and it sounded like he was in the shower." Nick opened his eyes wide in defense. "What? What? He's my best friend and I'll eavesdrop any damn time I feel like it!"
Kevin stood up, slapping a hand on Nick's shoulder. "Chill, Nick. It’s okay. We were surprised, that's all. I'm just glad Xavier didn't see you." He turned to the others. "You know what this means, don't you?"
AJ nodded grimly, reaching over to snag the phone of its hook.
* * * * * * * * * *
Xavier reached over to rip a heavy boot off his foot and threw it in disgust across the room. It had been a while since he had made such a stupid mistake, mixing up something as simple as a room number. He would have been immediately suspicious except that Kevin had seemed genuinely annoyed at being disturbed. Caught off guard, not being able to think of a quick enough excuse, he had chastised himself all the way back to his room for handing over the painkillers. Xavier rubbed his hand thoughtfully over his chin, staring off into space. The chances were slim to none that Brian would still be awake; his grogginess getting out of the car just a while ago testified to that. It would be unwise to try to locate him now, now that he had made such a blatant error in front of Kevin.
Tearing off the other boot, Xavier walked over and grabbed a drink from his small but well-stocked fridge. Settling down into a chair, he flicked on the TV, more for illumination than entertainment. He forced himself to relax, to think clearly, not to let his temper get the best of him. Only a few more days, just two and he could kiss this lifestyle goodbye. Kiss. He took a sip, his thoughts turning towards the young blonde singer. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wondering that if maybe he had had more time, things might have been different. Hmm. Time. He took another sip, really a gulp, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Maybe I don't need more time. I'll have the money soon. I'll be rich. With a quick tilt of his head, he finished the bottle. Money. Brian. Money and Brian. He smiled and folded his hands behind his head. Yeah. It was possible. He could have both.
* * * * * * * * * * *
AJ hung up the phone with a flourish and turned to the other guys, a fiendish smile on his lips.
"Done."
Howie nodded in approval. "So you think Eric can keep Xavier away?"
AJ gave Howie a mock look of hurt then shoved Nick over so he could hop on top of his bed. "He's the best, D. If there's one bodyguard I trust, it's Eric. Besides, I warned him it's his job if he doesn't."
Nick rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. "Nothing like the threat of losing your job to get results, huh?"
AJ grinned.
* * * * * * * * * *
Pissed, Xavier slammed down the receiver, picking up his wallet and keys as he headed out the door. He hated late night emergencies, especially when he knew Eric could handle it easily enough by himself. Now, by the sound of it, he'd be up all night working on the so-called problem. Relax, relax, he chanted mentally, punching the button as he waited for the elevator to come and bring him down to the main floor where Eric was impatiently waiting for him.
* * * * * * * * * *
So much for sleep.
Brian stared up at the ceiling, biting his lip, waiting for the next onslaught of pain.
* * * * * * * * *
Nick came running back into the room, his bare feet padding silently on the carpeting.
"Shit, O shit!"
AJ stopped in mid-conversation with Kevin and Howie, confused; he hadn't noticed that Nick had left the room in the first place. "What? What's happening?"
"Brian. I listened again. I can hear him moaning. He's in pain! We gotta do something, guys!"
Kevin rose from his seat, throwing AJ and Howie a grim look. "You sure X is gone?"
AJ nodded, rising up from his bed. "Positive."
"Good, come on then."
All three hurried after Kevin, Nick's eyes wide. "What are we going to do?"
Kevin reached Brian's door then turned to Nick. "Make Brian open the door."
"What if he won't?"
"Then we're gonna break the goddamn door down."
CHAPTER EIGHTY-NINE - PAIN AND ANGUISH
Through a haze of pain, Brian strained to make sense of the noise coming from outside his room. Weakly struggling upright in bed, he heard his name being called out, accompanied by vigorous kicks and thumps on the door.
"Brian! Brian! Open this door. Right now."
Glaring at the closed door, Brian wearily laid back down. The guys. The last thing he wanted or needed was to be seen like this, curled up and in pain. As a vicious reminder, a wave of heat streaked up his back, causing him to gasp from its sharp intensity.
"Go away," he managed to shout and the effort doubled his agony. He leaned over the side of the bed, panting, the small droplets of sweat stinging and blurring his vision.
"Brian, dammit, open up!"
He could hear their insistent pounding and immediately thought of Xavier, knowing that any moment the bodyguard could discover all four outside his door. Panic caused him to crawl off the bed; scared to answer the door, scared not to.
"Please, just go away."
"Brian, if you don't open this door right now, I'm gonna kick it in!"
Brian heard Kevin's angry yell and closed his eyes his frustration, knowing that his cousin would make good on his threat. Biting back the pain, Brian shuffled over to the door, giving a quick swipe to his sweat-soaked forehead before reaching out to flip the latch.
Keeping his head down, Brian wrapped his arms around his waist as Kevin, Howie, AJ and Nick quietly filed in, feeling their prying eyes as they passed by him. With a quick click he locked the door, brusquely brushed by all four and reached for the remote control, thumbing it on.
The TV cast an eerie blue glow to the room and the guys watched as Brian settled against the bed's headboard, staring stonily at the screen, ignoring them all.
"Brian..." began Nick, only to be cut off by TV's sudden rise in volume.
"Brian, come on…" and was once again drowned out.
The blue cast suddenly faded and Nick turned to see Kevin holding the severed black cable in his hand. Brian threw the remote to the ground, finally dragging his vision up to see four sets of eyes trained intently on him.
"Well, if it isn't one big happy family." He finished his jeer with a gasp as a spasm of pain caught him off guard.
"Brian!"
"Just go, please." He felt his hands beginning to shake and grabbed a pillow, hugging it to his chest and buried his face in it. He didn't want them here. Why couldn't they see that? If they would just leave him alone…his bitterness was fueled by the pain that was now a constant throb, pounding away relentlessly.
"Brian, Nick heard you moaning," explained Howie softly. "You're in pain."
The absurdity of Howie's statement hit Brian full force, his composure crumbling away as he yanked the pillow away from his face, his blue eyes flaring in anger.
"Really?" he mocked. "Ya think so?" His voice raised a notch higher as he struggled off the bed. He stumbled for a second, caught himself, shaking off AJ's quick hand. He glared at Howie, then the others. "What makes you think I'm in pain?" he asked snidely, not waiting for a reply. "And if I am, so what?" Not caring to mask the pain anymore, Brian winced visibly, rubbing a trembling hand across his brow. "It's not like any of you care," he whispered dejectedly, turning away from the four. A rush of vertigo hit Brian and he swayed unsteadily, feeling strong arms grabbing him before he collapsed. "Not that you care," he repeated over in an anguished moan, his agony evident.
Trying to be as gentle as possible, the guys physically carried him over to the bed, but it made no difference as Brian writhed in pain, shaking in such deep earnest that it sent Nick into a panic.
"Kevin! Do you have the pain pills? Good. Give them to me!"
Nick caught the container one-handed, barking at AJ to find some water as he flipped the top off. He shook two out into his palm, having them almost knocked away when he felt the tight grip of Brian's hand upon his wrist.
"Where did you get those?" Brian hissed, his eyes bright with pain. "Where?"
"Kevin. Kevin made Xavier give the bottle to him."
"Give?" Brian curled up in agony, his voice incredulous.
Nick reached for the glass of water AJ had presented. "Long story, it doesn't matter. Here, take this." Nick shoved the pills into Brian's hand, bringing the glass up to his lips. With a quick slap, the pills and water went flying and Nick looked at Brian in shock.
"No. No pills."
"Brian, man, take it! You gotta. You'll feel better."
"No!" came Brian's sharp reply, turning his head away. "You don't understand. They're worse than the pain."
Concerned, Howie grabbed the bottle away from Nick's grasp to examine the label. "Brian, why are they worse? What happens when you take them?"
"They make me sick, nauseous. I get weird thoughts," Brian moaned, his voice muffled as he buried his face into the mattress.
Howie glanced at AJ and Kevin, then walked over to the bed and crouched down to get eye level. "Brian. Brian!" He caught Brian's hand and forced him to look. "I think you're having a bad reaction. To these pills. They're hurting more than they're helping you." Still crouched, Howie twisted his head to look at AJ.
"Bone, you have some painkillers, don't you? From the oral surgeon?" he reminded, seeing AJ's confused face.
AJ snapped his fingers and pointed at Howie, remembering his dental surgery. "Yeah. I’ve got 'em. I think it's codeine."
Kevin slapped AJ on the shoulder, tilting his head towards the door. "Let's go get 'em."
Howie watched as Kevin and AJ left then turned and frowned a little when he saw Brian's face bathed in sweat. "Brian, are you allergic to codeine?"
Brian shook his head. " I don't know. I don't think so," he gasped. He rolled onto his back, panting lightly. Nick hovered over him, troubled, throwing Howie a troubled look.
"What if Brian is allergic to codeine? What do we do then? He needs to go to the hospital, now."
"NO!"
Howie and Nick nearly jumped out of their skin as Brian sat up, his eyes wide with fear. "No. No hospital. I'll be okay."
"But Brian, please…" pleaded Nick, before being cut off by a vicious glare.
"Nick, no! I’m not going. I've only got two more days, two more days before…" Brian's voice faded when he saw Kevin and AJ returning and reached out with an impatient hand to grab the pills AJ offered. He swallowed them whole, too much in a rush to wait for something to wash it down. Still trembling, Brian drooped back on the bed, Nick trying the best he could to cover him with a blanket.
In the soft glow of the only lamp lit, all four Backstreet Boys watched Brian in uneasy silence, occasionally glancing nervously at each other as they waited for the pain medication to kick in. Nick sat on the edge of the bed, his face almost as flushed as Brian's. He bit his lip in dismay as he saw Brian silently claw the bed, the sheets clutched tightly in his fingers as another spasm of pain took over. It seemed to take forever but Nick finally noticed Brian's breathing becoming less ragged, his body straightening into a more peaceful position. Nick turned to the guys, his face hopeful, and saw the same optimistic expression on theirs.
AJ nodded in relief, finding himself slightly weak in the knees. Sitting in the nearest chair, he laced his fingers together and propped his chin on the top of his hands, trying to regain some of his composure. He glanced at Kevin, who was still standing in the same position as when they had returned with the pills.
His dark brows knitted in worry, his hand covering his mouth, Kevin watched his cousin like a hawk, ready for even the littlest sign that he would react badly to the drug. Finally convinced that Brian was going to be okay, he relaxed and sighed heavily, giving AJ and Howie a weak smile.
Howie smiled back then hefted the container of painkillers that had caused Brian so much misery. With a couple of strides he was in the bathroom, flushing the contents of the bottle down the toilet. He returned a moment later, seeing Kevin nod in agreement to his decision. Walking over to where Brian lay face down on the bed, Howie glanced at Nick.
"How's he doing?"
"Better."
Nick peered at Brian and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Brian? You're feeling better, right?" He leaned in for a closer look. Brian's eyes were still shut tight but the taut lines around his face had relaxed somewhat.
"Brian?"
Eyes fluttering open, Brian studied Nick's anxious face a moment. "I'm all right," he finally replied, hearing the collective sighs of relief around the room. Shifting his position, he managed to weakly sit upright on the bed, embarrassed by the situation, self-conscious that they had witnessed the whole thing but relieved that the pain had subsided. Afraid that Xavier might pop up at any moment and discover them here, Brian began to twist the bed sheets nervously.
"Uh, I'd appreciate it if ya’ll would leave now."
AJ rose from his seat. "Huh? What are you talking about? We're not going anywhere, Rok. We're staying right here."
Brian frowned at him, agitation beginning to show as he apprehensively glanced at the door. "You can't. What if Xavier finds you here?"
"He won't. I took care of that."
Not comprehending, Brian began to panic. "What do you mean, you took care of that?! I told you to leave me alone! Why can't you all just leave me alone? Why?"
AJ shook his head. "Cause now we know. We understand what's been happening to you…"
Brian cut AJ off with an explosive slash of his hand. "No, you don't! You haven't a clue, any of you!" His face flushed in distress, Brian struggled with some difficulty to rise from his bed. "How could you possibly know the hell I've been through? Huh? You'll never understand. Never! He swung his glare to encompass all four. "And it was all for you! You!" he spat, his eyes glittering darkly.
Brian knew he was losing control but couldn't help it. "Oh no, you were too busy enjoying making my life miserable to notice what was really going on!" He saw the flash of pain in AJ's face but continued on, his agony, worry and frustration spilling over with a vengeance. "Do have any idea how hard it was for me seeing your disgust, feeling your hatred?" He walked up to Nick, the hurt in his eyes evident as his voice began to tremble in anger. "Well, do you?" Nick hung his head, unable to reply. Brian swung his gaze to Kevin. "Well?"
Brian's voiced faltered, his sadness evident, his anger dissolving when he saw their ashamed looks. "Trying to keep everyone safe, doing whatever Xavier wanted, hoping, praying, that somehow it was all just a nightmare." His blue eyes reflected the misery that Nick, AJ, Howie, and Kevin felt. "Only it's not a nightmare, is it? It's real. And it's not over."
Brian looked at the four before him, his shoulders slumped dejectedly, his despair unmistakable. With a sudden rush, Brian was caught into a firm hug, Howie wrapping his arms around him, pulling him tight. Howie's body began to tremble and with a start Brian realized that Howie was crying and crying hard.
"I'm sorry Brian, I am so sorry," he mumbled through his sobs, clinging fiercely. "I should have known, I should have seen!" he choked, his voice hoarse with grief as he apologized over and over again.
Startled by Howie's heartbreaking outburst, Brian felt himself splintering into a million little pieces. No longer able to contain himself, he broke down with an anguished cry of his own and sagged to his knees, rocking desolately back and forth. Not aware of the caring hands that reached out to console him, Brian covered his face and shed hot tears, releasing all the suppressed fear and agony he had kept in for so long.
It took a while, just when Brian thought he couldn't cry another tear, another wave overtook him and he wearily rode it out. Totally exhausted, he finally relaxed into hold of the sympathetic arms that still supported him, glancing up to see the guys kneeling around him, their faces filled with concern.
"I'm okay," he said softly, suddenly embarrassed and uncomfortable. He twisted out of the hold and scooted back on the floor to recline his back against the edge of the bed, his head bent down. Nick came over and waved a box of tissues under his nose and Brian reached out to snag one. Still holding the box, Nick shook it until Brian took another tissue. Shaking the box once more, Brian gazed up to see Nick smiling at him, urging him to take some more. With a sigh, Brian grabbed a handful.
"That bad, huh?" Brian asked, wiping his eyes and nose.
Nick flopped down next to him, stretching his long legs out. "Well, you certainly aren't gonna win any beauty contests."
Brian gave a little laugh and shook his head. "Neither are you," he retorted, noticing Nick wiping his eyes. He turned to look at Howie and Kevin, then reached over to grab the box out of Nick's grasp. "You okay?" he asked both, reaching out to offer the box.
"Fine, never been better," quipped Howie as he accepted the tissue.
"Yeah, let's never do this again, okay?" replied Kevin gruffly, yanking a few out of the box.
"Bone?" Holding out the tissue box questioningly, Brian eyed him carefully, noticing how quiet he was.
AJ stood there for a moment, his arms crossed. "Real men don't cry," he stated bluntly. Seeing their stunned reactions, AJ reached out and grabbed several tissues. "They blubber," he announced proudly, blowing his nose several times.
Kevin, Howie, Nick, and Brian collapsed in laughter, AJ joining in, their laughing just as much a need for release as their crying had been. After a while they managed to calm down and Nick began to hiccup loudly. Unable to stop, he held his breath, his expression so comical that it set all five off again into spasms of amusement.
"Howie, Howie, save me," Nick pleaded and Howie groaned, getting up to go get Nick a drink of water.
"How come every time you start hiccupping, I have to be the one who gets you the water?" he grumbled, handing Nick a glass.
"Because you're the most gullible," Nick stated simply as he down the water quickly. He hiccupped again. "Rats!" He held up his empty glass, giving Howie another pleading look.
Snorting unsympathetically, Howie turned to see Brian struggling to rise and hurried over to help him up. Brian flinched from his touch as Howie gently guided him to the edge of the bed.
"Brian, do you mind?" he indicated with a nod at his shirt. "I'd like to check your injuries."
Brian opened his mouth to object to the request but stopped, seeing only concern and worry in Howie’s eyes. He sighed softly in acquiesce and with a tired hand pulled his shirt over his head. Trying to ignore Howie’s sharp hiss of surprise, Brian closed his eyes as felt his friend lightly touch his chest.
"Xavier did this?"
Brian opened his eyes at the sound of Howie’s anger.
"Yeah. After he found out he wasn’t able to get the money at the bank."
Unable to look anymore at the horrific bruises Howie turned away, his hands on hips as stared pointedly at the ground.
"Son of a bitch," he swore heatedly. "I’m gonna get that bastard."
The tone in his voice made Brian look at his friend in worry. Remembering AJ’s comment a while ago, he turned to him, who along with Kevin, had been examining his upper back.
"Bone, what did you mean when you said 'I took care of that’?"
"Xavier? I had Eric invent some emergency so that X would be gone for the whole night." AJ gave Brian a reassuring look. "There’s not a chance in hell of him returning before tomorrow morning."
Brian heaved a sigh of relief then jumped. "Ow! Hey!"
"Sorry, sorry," apologized Kevin, pulling his hand away. "You have a really nasty bruise on your lower back."
Brian’s fingers crept around to locate the injury. He grimaced a little as he touched it. "There?"
"Yeah."
Brian sighed. "What’s it look like?"
"Like it needs to be checked out, right away."
Stiffening, Brian shook his head. "No, not now."
"Brian…"
Yanking his shirt back on, Brian crawled to the middle of his bed, away from his cousin. Grabbing a pillow, he laid down, cradling the pillow against his chest. "No."
Kevin walked away from the edge of the bed and sat down in the nearest chair, shaking his head exasperatedly as he looked at the guys for help.
AJ took over, coming to hitch his hip on the side of the bed. "B-Rok…," he began but was interrupted.
"How did you know? I mean, when did you know, when did you find out?" questioned Brian, his voice muffled against the pillow, eager to change the subject.
Confused, it took AJ a moment or two before he understood what Brian was asking. "On the airplane. I saw the way Xavier brought his hands down upon your shoulders at the airport. And then I remembered him doing it other times and the faces you made when he did it. Oh, and the money in the bag was also a big tip off."
Brian shoved the pillow down to get a better look at AJ. "You saw the money?" he asked in disbelief. "When?"
"Just after the candy. I probably would of put two and two together sooner, but the Ecstasy really screwed me up."
Brian’s blue eyes lowered in shame, recalling the incident. "Yeah. Sorry about that."
AJ’s mouth nearly dropped open in surprise. "Sorry? Brian, X was the asshole. He was the one who did it, not you! There was nothing you could do!"
Brian turned his head away and AJ frowned. "Bri?" AJ reached over to touch his shoulder. "Brian? You’re not blaming yourself for all this, are you?"
Brian snapped his head back around and AJ was shocked to see the bitterness in his eyes.
"Who else is there to blame? Huh? There were a lot of things I could have done different but I was just too gutless," he spat out.
Nick came over to sit next to AJ. "What could you have done different, Frick? Nothing. Nothing!"
Brian leaned up on one elbow. "I could have killed him! I had the chance, I had the chance to stab him, but I didn’t!"
Nick stared Brian, remembering. "The switchblade?"
Nodding miserably, Brian slumped back down. "Yeah."
"I found you outside my door, asleep on the floor. I thought you were waiting to hurt me." Nick’s voice lowered in embarrassment.
Brian rubbed his eyes tiredly. "No. I was scared Xavier was going to hurt you. Every time I did something that made him mad he would take it out on you guys." Brian’s voice matched Nick’s in discomfort. "I never knew what would set him off. It was all a mind game, his will against mine. And then Xavier would change everything, everything, and it would start all over, a new game, something different to keep him amused."
"And you were the pawn," breathed Howie, glancing over to see Kevin’s pained expression.
"Yeah," admitted Brian, exhaling heavily. He turned with pleading eyes to the four. "I tried to play his games, to do what he wanted me to do. He threatened that he would harm everyone I knew if I didn’t play along." Brian’s face showed his disgust. "And we all know how well I did, don’t we?"
"My house," said Howie.
"My dog, AJ’s rope breaking, the car accident," recited Kevin.
Brian could feel the tears beginning to well up again. "Yes," he choked.
Nick leaned near Brian, reaching out with a tentative hand to touch Brian’s shaking shoulders. "Frick…" he started and saw his friend recoil quickly at his concerned touch. With a sharp intake of breath, Nick looked over at AJ, both their faces troubled.
"There’s something else," Nick asked quietly, "isn’t there."
"No."
"Brian, we talked to Sarah. Remember her? The barmaid? She told us what you had said about Xavier and you."
Brian remained silent.
Nick threw AJ a look. AJ rubbed a nervous hand through his hair, glancing at Nick’s tense face then back at Brian’s too still form. "Brian, has…has.." AJ bit his lip, not sure how to phrase it, "…has Xavier hurt you in um, other ways?" He cringed at his lack of nerve in coming outright and asking if X had sexually abused him.
Nick could feel the tension build as they watched and waited for Brian’s answer.
"No, not really," came Brian’s vague and soft reply.
"Not really," repeated Kevin, confused. "What’s not really?"
Brian lowered his eyes. "He’s kissed me. He’s touched me intentionally to make me feel uncomfortable. He said he wants me, has threatened me, but hasn’t done anything about it…yet."
Kevin had to turn away, the bile rising in his throat. He felt his hands clenching in anger, a wild desire bursting forth to smash everything in sight. The idea that his cousin had borne all this mental and physical torment along with the sexual advances of that insane bodyguard made him want to scream in rage.
He turned back to face his cousin, his eyes narrowed in fury, determination in his voice. "As soon as I see that asshole, I'm gonna…"
'Do nothing!" Brian said fiercely, struggling off the bed to come over to face him. "Nothing, Kevin. Everything is going to stay the same, do you hear me? If Xavier so much as suspects you guys know…" Brian trailed off, shuddering inwardly at the thought of it. "Promise me you won't do anything." Brian's pleading look encompassed all of them. "Promise me."
Nick turned away while Howie shifted in discomfort, silent. Mouth wide open in disbelief, Brian turned to stare at Kevin and AJ, the look of pure vengeance burning in both their eyes.
"No, "said Brian desperately, "no, I'm not going to let you!" He reached over to grab Nick's shoulder, yanking him harshly around. "Nick, Xavier will be gone soon. All he wants is his money! You know that." Brian swung his attention to the others. "You all do!" Fear made Brian beg when he saw their skepticism, their doubt. "Please, please don't do anything," he asked, his voice cracking with emotion. "He'll be gone soon, I swear! Please, for me," he finished softly, exhausted beyond belief as he slumped into a chair.
Troubled by Brian's weariness and state of mind, Nick looked at the other three for confirmation and saw them agree. "Okay, Bri, we won't do anything….for now." Nick nodded as he saw his friend's face change at the forewarning. "We'll wait. But not for long."
Brian's hopes soared and he nodded, slightly giddy with relief. "Thanks. Xavier came back only for the money. Once I finish the concert and we head up to Phoenix…"
"Wait, whoa, just a minute," broke in AJ. "Concert? What concert? You're not going on tomorrow." AJ shook his head at Brian's determined look. "Nope, no way, Rok." AJ looked for support. "Kevin?"
"AJ's right, Brian. Look at yourself. You can barely sit upright. There's no way you'll be able to endure a two hour concert."
"I'm going on."
Howie sighed in frustration. "Brian, we can handle it ourselves. It's not like we haven't sung with just four before." He looked at Kevin. "Right?"
Kevin nodded. "Absolutely. We can do it. You need to rest, get better."
"I can still sing," Brian argued, "I'll be fine." He rested one elbow on the arm of the chair, his eyes half-closed.
Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, sighing inwardly at his cousin's stubbornness, wanting to argue the point but realizing it would not get them anywhere right now. "Okay, how about this. If by tomorrow night you feel better, a lot better, you can do the concert." Watching Brian's eyelids fully close, he shook his head at AJ's, Nick's, and Howie's glare, letting them know he was lying about his promise.
"Okay," mumbled Brian. "Tomorrow."
With a flick of his hand, Kevin indicated for the others to help him get Brian over to the bed. It took but just a moment to get him comfortably situated, the half-asleep singer offering no resistance. Kevin studied his cousin's quiet form for a moment then turned to the others who were also watching Brian closely.
"This isn't good," he whispered. "He isn't good. From now on, I don't want Xavier alone with him for even a second, okay? I want Brian watched." Kevin grimaced at Brian's bruised and battered body. "Xavier is never touching him again, ever," he vowed.
Nick agreed, his mouth tightening into a thin line, remembering how quickly that creepy little stagehand had been able to fulfill his request.
"Don't worry," he said quietly. "I'll make sure he won't."
CHAPTER NINETY - BEFORE THE STORM
Nick yawned, then stretched with difficulty, annoyed at being unable to find enough room for his long legs. Damn hotel beds! Sighing, Nick blinked a few times to clear his vision and saw Brian lying next to him, already awake, watching him with curious fascination.
"Do you know that you still drool in your sleep?" Brian informed him solemnly.
Nick scrunched up his face. "Do you know that you have like, the worst morning breath, ever?"
They looked at each other for a moment in silence.
"Marry me," swooned Brian.
"Show me the ring first," countered Nick.
They cracked up simultaneously.
"Ow, ow, shit!"
Nick sat quickly up in bed, watching Brian painfully hold onto his right side. "Pain pills?"
"Yeah," breathed Brian heavily.
Nick shot out of bed and in an instant was back with some water. "Here."
Grateful, Brian took the glass and hurriedly swallowed the medication. Closing his eyes, he could feel Nick hover over him anxiously. "Jeez, Nick, take it easy. Just give me a sec, all right?" Brian felt the bed lower under his body as Nick sat back down again.
"Okay. Let me know if you need anything."
Keeping his eyes closed, Brian kept himself as still as possible, waiting for the dull throb to lessen. It didn't help that Nick couldn't keep himself from moving around, jiggling the bed with his nervous agitation.
"That's it, the marriage's off," stated Brian. "I can't live with you. Your bedside manner is horrible."
Nick stopped squirming. "Well, that was the shortest engagement ever," he grumbled.
"Glad I found out before we got married," scoffed Brian.
"Hungry?"
"Starving," admitted Brian.
"Me too." Nick bounded off the bed in one leap, heading for the phone.
"Ow! Watch it, will ya?"
"Oh God, sorry Frick. I didn't mean to kick you."
Brian opened his eyes, glad that the pain was finally lessening. "Eggs, toast. Juice too."
Nick punched the button. "Okay."
"Oh, and some cereal."
Nick nodded and started to give the order.
"Bacon!"
Nick raised an eyebrow slightly.
"And sausage, don't forget the sausage!"
Nick sighed dramatically as he continued giving the order. "Anything else?"
Brian thought. "Biscuits and gravy?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Xavier tossed his keys angrily on the dresser, easing himself out of his grimy clothes. He glanced at the softly-glowing clock next to his bed. Nine-thirty am. Shit! Eric's stupid emergency had taken the whole night and part of the morning to complete. He still wasn't sure if it had been necessary in the first place and Xavier's mouth tightened in frustration. Still, there was no way of getting out of it without looking suspicious and the other bodyguards had seemed as unhappy as he when the unexpected call came through.
Shedding the last of his clothes, he hopped into the steaming shower, trying to ease the tension and soreness out of his shoulders. The warmth of the water began to soothe his frayed nerves and he relaxed, his thoughts drifting to Brian. He wondered how well the young Backstreet Boy had slept, wondered if the pain medication was keeping everything under control. He felt himself tense a little when he thought of Kevin and how he had managed to take over control of the painkillers. Well, nothing could be done about it now. He just hoped Kevin was smart enough to know when to give Brian the pills to keep him from being incapacitated by the pain. He needed Brian alert and awake for the next few days. Needed. Brian. Xavier glanced down at his growing hard-on. He smiled and closed his eyes, enjoying both the heat of the water and the heat between his legs.
* * * * * * * * * *
"You forgot the cinnamon rolls!" accused Brian as Nick watched in amazement at the amount of food Brian was downing.
"You never asked for them!" Nick shot back, swiping a biscuit off the overloaded breakfast tray. "You managed to order everything else under the sun, but not that."
Brian mumbled a reply, his mouth too full to be understandable.
"What are you, eating for two?" Nick asked in disbelief.
Brian gave him a coy smirk. "None of your business," he mocked primly.
Nick laughed. "Okay, now who would ever want to fuck you?"
Brian's smile faded and Nick swore at his own stupidity.
"Shit, Brian, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking…" Nick's voice faded off, embarrassed. They ate the rest of the meal in silence.
* * * * * * * * * *
Xavier climbed wearily into the soft comfort of his bed, enjoying the crisp freshness of the cool sheets. He had forgotten how hot Tucson could be, even at nighttime, and it hadn't helped his temper or disposition any to be stuck outside for the whole night, checking on security backups that he had deemed totally useless the very first hour he was there.
His eye caught the soft blinking glow of his telephone, indicating recent messages and with a grunt leaned over to snatch his pager off the end table. More incoming messages. He made a mental note to check them all later, too tired to take the time right now. In just a few short hours he needed to be up and about, preparing for tonight's concert. His thoughts drifted back to Brian, wondering if he would be able to perform. Probably not, if yesterday was any indication. He was slightly surprised at his disappointment. Even after countless performances, he still looked forward to seeing him on stage, hearing him sing.
He winced a little as he lay on his back, trying to find a comfortable position, propping a pillow against his side to support his sore ribs. He knew it would take awhile before his broken ribs would start to knit and it frustrated him that he had to constantly pamper the aching tenderness. He gave a feral grin in the darkened room. Well, a few more days wouldn't kill him; he'd survive, and then he could treat himself to a different kind of pampering.
* * * * * * * * * *
Through out the morning and into early afternoon, the guys had taken turns keeping Brian company, either letting him sleep, which he did mostly, or quietly sitting together watching television. Kevin had cancelled all interviews except for one, a radio gig that only took a half hour to complete. He spoke with the local DJ's regarding the second half of their tour; how great it was to be back on the road; and as a precautionary measure talked about Brian's little encounter with some over-eager fans and his physical appearance. Explaining that Brian was still iffy in making tonight's performance, he warned an on-line listener that if his cousin was able to perform not to expect him to do anything much more than sing. The fan "oohed" in disappointment and Kevin smiled, gently joking that his cousin couldn't dance anyway, so it wouldn't be that big of a loss. Kevin finished the interview and hurried back to the hotel, anxious to see how Brian was.
Nick opened the door, shrugging at Kevin's questioning look. "Come see for yourself," was his cryptic reply, ushering him inside. Kevin found Brian sitting up in bed, surfing the channels with a bored expression.
Throwing down the remote, Brian looked up from the TV screen. "How'd it go?"
Kevin sat down next to him. "Okay. I warned the listeners that you wouldn't be able to make it tonight."
Brian sat up a little straighter. "What?" he asked sharply.
Nick smothered a groan. Uh-oh.
"I said, you're not going on…"
"I heard you. Who said I'm not?"
"Me."
"You and who else?" challenged Brian.
Nick picked up a magazine and buried his nose in it.
Kevin sighed and leaned forward in his chair, his hands folded. "Brian, I'm not gonna argue about this with you…"
"I know, cause I'm going on tonight. End of argument."
"No."
"Yes."
Kevin glanced over to Nick for help. Nick stared raptly at the magazine. "Nick?"
"Hmm?"
"A little help here?"
Nick rolled his eyes and tossed the magazine away. "Can't. Brian's mind is made up. I've been fighting with him for the last two hours about the same damn thing."
Kevin turned back to Brian. "No." And he meant it.
"Yes." Brian did too.
Before Kevin could speak again, Brian continued. "Look, I'll be fine, really. Really! AJ's pain medication has helped." Seeing the doubt in Kevin's eyes, Brian hurried on. "Kevin, if I don't go on, what will I do? Just watch? With Xavier?"
Brian had a point. A very good point. Too good. "You sure you're feeling well enough?" Kevin saw a quick hesitation in Brian's face before he nodded.
Frowning, Kevin pointed a finger warningly at him. "Okay. You're on. But you gotta promise me this, no dancing, no running around. Just singing. And if you're feeling bad, you pull out, even if it's in the middle of a song." Kevin watched skeptically as his cousin agreed too readily. "Oh yeah, one more thing. You gotta swear on the Holy Bible that you will."
Brian's mouth opened then snapped shut in frustration. Nick snickered. Kevin hadn't used that trick in a long time, but it always got the results he wanted.
Glancing sourly at Nick, Brian sighed. "All right."
Kevin wasn’t going to let him get off that easy. "All right, what?"
Brian glared. "All right, I swear on the Holy Bible. There, satisfied?"
Kevin nodded and rose to leave. "Good, get some rest. We'll be leaving soon enough."
Brian watched as Kevin left then turned to see Nick leaning over, studying his back.
"What are you doing?" he asked, irritated.
"Just checking to see if you were crossing your fingers," smirked Nick.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Xaiver rapidly shaved, then hurried out of the bathroom, glancing at the time. Throwing on the first available clean clothes he could find, he finished tying his shoes, peeking once more at the clock. He nodded. Good. He had managed to wake up before the alarm, so he had a few extra minutes to spare. Deciding to check his pager first, he scanned it quickly, ignoring most of the numbers. Stopping at the last one, he frowned, staring thoughtfully at his pager for a moment before reaching over to snag the phone off its hook. Drumming his fingers, he waited impatiently for someone to answer and started to hang up when he heard a click and a confident "This is Terri Hamilton, may I help you?" in his ear.
Xavier switched into his respectful tone. "Ms. Hamilton, this is Xavier Delgado. You paged me?" He held the phone to his ear with his shoulder, going over to his dresser to pocket his wallet, keys, and change.
"Oh, Mr. Delgado, I’m so glad you called," she gushed and Xavier rolled his eyes in disgust. "I just wanted to thank you for everything." Xavier grimaced. He really didn’t have time to listen to this bitch.
"You’re welcome," he said bluntly, dropping his polite tone as he scanned the room one last time before he left.
"I was so surprised when all the guys visited me, it came out of the blue! But I knew you sent them. I just knew it."
Xavier sat down slowly.
"All of them visited you?" he asked softly. "When?"
"Why just a few days ago! They were so sweet, so concerned about you."
"Me."
"Yes, wanted to know all about you. Asked if they could see your personal file."
"Really."
"Naturally, I said no, that as much as I wanted to help, it was confidential information."
"How considerate of you."
"However, I must warn you. I think my secretary wasn’t as professional as me. I’m sure she accessed her computer to give information to Mr. Carter. I fired her, of course."
"Of course." Xavier’s eyes glittered. "Ms. Hamilton, do you have a second? If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a few more questions."
* * * * * * * * * * *
Les was a nervous little shit, shifty, untrustworthy. Xavier liked that. Towering over him, Xavier smiled down at him, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
"Okay, Les, once again. What exactly did Nick Carter want you to do?"
