FORTY-SIX – THE BATTLE

Brian hurriedly ripped off his sweat-soaked clothes, quickly eyeing the time before he jumped into the shower, hoping he might be able to shave, dress and pack before the bus was scheduled to leave. Knowing full well how irritated their bus driver could become if someone upset his tight schedule, he raced around like a madman, wishing he had time to eat something. His stomach cramped at the thought of food but he pushed the pain aside, promising himself he’d eat as soon as he could. He picked up his dirty clothing and eyed it for a moment, wondering if he should pack them along with his clean ones. With a disgusted look he discarded them, remembering how sweaty and smelly he had been at the bank today when he had withdrawn another "bonus" for Xavier. He leaned down to grab his packed clothing, wincing and feeling slightly nauseated as he straightened up. He waited until the feeling passed then hurried down the corridor to locate an open elevator and the waiting bus.

* * * * *

AJ grabbed Eric by the shoulders to emphasize his point, not willing to give his bodyguard any details but determined that Eric would be successful. "Man, I don’t care how you do it, just do it! Under no circumstances do I want Xavier on that bus tonight. Make up some excuse, make it good, so he won’t get suspicious, okay?"

Eric nodded his reply, unfazed by AJ's request; he had done stranger things than this for the Backstreet Boy. He didn’t particularly like Xavier, his aloofness and superior attitude had not earned him any respect among the other bodyguards and so Eric had basically left him alone. He knew that Xavier did his job, did it well, but Eric’s loyalty lay with the person who paid his check. He chewed on several ideas, finally selecting one. He smiled at the worried singer giving him a reassuring slap. "Consider it done." He paused for a moment, lost in thought. "Well now, let’s see…" he drawled slowly, giving AJ a wink, "blonde, brunette, or red-head?"

AJ grinned back, understanding the rules of payback. "Oh, definitely blonde. She was hot."

Eric eyed him curiously, tilting his head. "Really? Well send her my way!"

AJ laughed, shaking his head at the sexual appetite of his large bodyguard. Glancing at his watch, he gave Eric some last minute instructions and warned him to hurry. The bus was scheduled to leave soon and no way did AJ want Xavier anywhere near Brian when the guys confronted him.

* * * * *

All four members of the Backstreet Boys slouched casually in their seats, their face and body movements seemingly relaxed but Kevin knew better. AJ had positioned his hat low, his sunglasses on, pretending to doze, but the slight constant rubbing of his fingers gave away his anxiety. Howie kept his eyes on a book, apparently engrossed, only Kevin noticed he hadn’t turned a page in over five minutes. Nick played with a hand-held game, nothing new to Kevin, except that Nick never swore at it, something he always did. Kevin himself had his earphones on, pretending to listen to some music, only the machine’s red light wasn’t glowing. They did their best to act indifferent as Brian rushed onboard, managing to look annoyed at Brian’s hasty explanation of why he was late again.

The cumbersome bus pulled out of its station, heading carefully towards the freeway and it took several minutes before Brian noticed that Xavier was not aboard. He tried not to panic but his voice was barely steady as he walked up to Harry, their driver.

"Hey Harry, what about Xavier? Isn’t he coming?" Kevin, Nick, AJ, and Howie all glanced at each other, noticing the slight alarm in Brian’s voice.

Not taking his eyes off the road, Harry waved at the young singer in annoyance. "Beats me! Eric said something about them all flying ahead to check out the next arena. Security problem, or something. I don’t know." He spared a quick glance at the blond singer. "Go ask the guys. And sit down! You’re not suppose to be up here!"

Brian turned away, concerned. It didn’t feel right; somehow, something didn’t add up. He wanted to ask the guys if they knew anything, but under the circumstances, decided against it. He walked down the aisle hearing Nick snicker behind his back, "Poor Bri, lost without his X." Brian tensed a little, willing himself to stay calm about the situation and Nick’s comment. He picked the farthest seat in the back, turning his face away from the group, ignoring the four. Feeling the lurch of the bus as it increased speed to merge onto the highway, Brian shifted his weight around, trying to find a comfortable position for his aching body. His stomach rumbled with hunger and he sighed, angry at himself for not grabbing anything at the vending machine before he left. He knew his chance was little to none now that the bus was cruising smoothly on the freeway. It was going to be a long ride.

* * * * *

Kevin sat in his seat for another half an hour, waiting patiently for a signal from AJ. Nick sat in his seat also, giving up all pretense of playing his game and occasionally glancing at Kevin with a "when" look. Kevin shrugged his shoulders slightly, indicating with a small head tilt towards AJ that this was AJ’s call. Howie, the boldest of the four, had gone twice to the back of the bus, once to use the bathroom, the other to grab a Coke. On the second trip back, he had glanced secretively at Brian, who was curled up in his seat, head turned sideways against the high headrest.

Howie flopped next to AJ and looked at him intently. "Now is as good a time as any, I guess," he whispered and AJ nodded. He signaled to Kevin and Nick with a quick wave of his hand. Like a shot, Nick sprang up from his seat, his nervousness apparent to the others. Kevin motioned him to go ahead and he followed the tall blond, giving AJ a quick glance of apprehension.

Howie eased cautiously down next Brian, AJ motioning for Nick and him to sit in the seats that faced Brian. AJ was suddenly glad for the seating design of the bus, which enabled them to face each other, rather than the traditional way in rows. Kevin stood to the side, watching his cousin, who was asleep. It struck him how young Brian looked with his eyes closed, how vulnerable he seemed. Kevin glanced at AJ, who had taken his glasses off and seemed to be studying Brian carefully.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" said Nick, anxiously. "Someone wake him up." Howie had to smile at Nick’s request of "someone"; obviously Nick didn’t want the job. Howie reached over to place a hand on Brian’s shoulder, shaking him slightly. Brian’s eyes immediately snapped open and this startled the other four.

Brian’s alert but red-rimmed eyes glanced carefully at each one, noting their positions and facial expressions. This was not good. He felt his heart began to race a little faster, the beginning of perspiration begin to form at his brow as he tried to figure what was up.

"Lemme guess, you need a fifth for basketball," he kidded lamely.

"No," replied Kevin, tense. Irritated by his cousin’s joking, Kevin threw his preplanned speech out the window and blurted out roughly, "Listen, we want to know what the fuck is going on with you and we want to know right now." Brian sat up a little straighter and Kevin watched as he caught a hint of fearfulness pass over Brian’s face before it was quickly replaced with one of nervousness. Kevin felt his stomach lurch, sick with the knowledge that something was not right.

"Nothing is going on, let me go back to sleep, okay?" grumbled Brian. He turned hurriedly away from them, peering through the window, noticing that there was only a short time of daylight left and wishing desperately that he was somewhere, anywhere but here.

"Brian!" Nick’s voice shot out, fuming with frustration. Brian jerked his head towards Nick in surprise, eyeing him warily. "Don’t give us this crap, especially me! Now, do you tell us, or do we have to physically pound the shit outta you to get it?"

Brian fought hard to keep his expression neutral. He noticed each of the guys staring intently at him, and he began to panic, a small wave of claustrophobia enveloping him, threatening to overwhelm him.

"I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about." Brian stood up, not sure what to do. AJ, who had been quiet all this time, jumped up and forcibly shoved Brian back into his seat, his eyes cold.

"Take off your shirt."

Brian’s mouth opened wide in surprise, not comprehending. "Do what?" he cried in disbelief.

Howie spoke up. "You heard him, Rok. Take off your shirt." His voice was soft, full of conviction.

Brian knew that they were dead serious. Distrust turned into anger as he shook his head. "No way. I don’t know what you guys are up to and I'm not doing anything until you explain."

Nick, never one for subtlety, impatiently cut to the chase. "Brian, take off your shirt so we can see. Katie quit today because she said that you were keeping a secret from all of us, that you have AIDS. And so help me, if she’s right, I’m gonna kill you before that disease does!"

Brian wasn’t sure he heard right, his mistrust turning into one of astonishment. "AIDS?" he barely managed to squeak out, his thoughts returning to when Katie had altered his clothes. He remembered her look, the fear he felt when he caught her staring at him. He thought she had believed his story about too much exercise, only to find out she had let her imagination run wild. Relief, mixed with the absurdity of the situation, caused Brian to laugh. The look of shock on his friend’s four faces only aggravated the matter and his hoots of laughter made him double up, holding his sides from the sheer pain of laughing so hard. "AIDS!" he roared, pointing to himself. "Me? Oh God, that’s a good one!" His deep howling reached up to the front and Harry turned to give him an exasperated look

Nick glanced at Kevin, his face incredulous. "I give up!" he shouted, flinging his hands wide. He pointed to AJ, his embarrassment mounting. "This is the last time I listen to you on anything!"

AJ ignored Nick altogether, his eyes never leaving the laughing form of Brian, who was wiping his eyes. AJ’s relief was immense - until this moment he hadn't realized how tense he had become. Brian’s reaction was too real to be fake, he had known him far too long to believe otherwise. He bit his lip in consternation, his arms folded across his chest, remembering Katie’s words: ‘if it’s not AIDS, it’s something.’ That was what was bothering him. He waited for the blond singer to quiet down, a grim smile forming when he finally caught Brian’s eye.

"I still want you to take off your shirt, Rok."

"You’re kidding." Brian’s teary blue eyes met AJ’s determined brown ones and knew instantly that he was not joking. Brian's smile faded slowly. Realizing that AJ was more than just curious, Brian cursed himself thoroughly. He should have been more alert to AJ’s sharp sixth-sense. Brian shifted uneasily in his seat, a rush of anger flowing through him. Why the hell couldn't AJ just leave him alone?

"Brian, do what AJ asks," pressed Kevin. "If Katie saw something that scared her enough to quit, then we want to see it too." He leaned his large frame forward to emphasize his point, and Brian tore his gaze away from his cousin to see Howie and Nick nodding their support, all of them standing now, effectively surrounding him.

Brian rose angrily from his seat, scared at what the four would see, not sure of his ability to manipulate a convincing tale. His alarm at being found out, the consequences of what would happen to them added fuel to his fear and he lashed out. With a furious shout Brian shoved hard, breaking free of the enclosed circle.

Kevin grabbed Brian’s shoulder, trying to pull him back, collapsing what little control Brian had left. He threw a hard punch, successfully connecting with his cousin's jaw. Kevin staggered back, amazed by the sheer strength of the blow, his hand coming away from his jaw, splattered with blood. "Get him!" he growled and Nick seized the collar of Brian’s shirt, wrenching him back. Brian immediately dropped to the ground, striking out with his right foot to sweep at Nick’s unsuspecting ankles. Nick landed with a solid crash to the ground, stunned by Brian’s maneuver. Howie gave AJ a quick look, and AJ nodded, a silent message passing between both of them. They tackled Brian simultaneously, their weight too heavy for him to support and he fell to his knees. Brian managed to shove them both off, his desperation giving him an extra surge of power. He jumped up staggering, his vision wavering for a moment, feeling faint. That second in time gave Kevin the ability to clamp onto Brian’s wrist, heaving with all his might as he jerked Brian off his feet.

Brian landed sideways, his fall broken by the oversized bus seat. Off-balance, he slid to the floor, only to feel himself being lifted upright, the strong arms of Kevin surrounding Brian’s upper torso, pinning his shoulders back. Brian relaxed into the grip, letting the full weight of his body be supported by Kevin. With a sudden twist of his shoulders, he managed to rip free from his cousin's tight grasp. A rush of panic enveloped him as he realized he was still surrounded. Panting from the exertion, he held his hand up warningly, watching as Howie moved in cautiously.

"So help me D, you come any closer and I’ll make you regret it!"

Howie took his threat seriously, eyeing Brian carefully. Brian’s skills in fighting were surprising; he definitely didn’t want spit out any busted teeth. He tried a different tactic. "Come on Bri," he said soothingly. "It’s just your shirt, man. Don’t make a big deal out of it." Brian shifted his stance, stumbling a little, his eyes wild. Concerned, Howie shot a quick look at AJ. Brian seized the opportunity to knock Howie hard, ramming him with his fist. Howie doubled over, gasping for breath, but managed to stay on his feet. Angered, AJ, Nick and Kevin tackled Brian, their concern for Howie overriding their worry for Brian.

AJ grabbed Brian by the wrist, wrapping his left arm around Brian’s throat. Brian struggled, twisting frantically. Kevin clutched his cousin’s other arm and shoulder, while Nick caught Brian’s wildly kicking legs. Brian cursed them all soundly, the yells and sounds of fighting floating up towards Harry.

"Goddammit, what they hell are you guys doing back there? Don’t make me stop this bus!" he warned.

AJ screamed back at Harry, applying pressure to keep his grip tight.

"Shut the fuck up, Harry! Just keep on driving!"

Brian fought harder than ever, his mind now fixed on the sole purpose of getting away. He knew if he didn’t, the outcome could be disastrous for them all. He felt the muscular arms of Howie joining the fight, felt himself being strong-armed into submission. His vision blurred again making it hard to concentrate. Brian swayed a little, feeling sick, fighting to stay upright. He blinked, shaking his head, his sight now spinning, the sting of sweat burning his eyes. Brian struggled once more, his effort costing him what little energy he had left. Drooping into the strong grip of the four who held him, Brian closed his eyes, succumbing to unconsciousness.

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN – GOING FROM BAD TO WORSE

"Fuck!" breathed Nick, staggered by the silent form of his friend. He glanced nervously at Kevin, who was as equally stunned. "Quick, do something!" he pleaded with AJ, his voice cracking with emotion.

"Set him down!" commanded AJ, lowering Brian carefully to the ground. He bent over to listen to his heart, fearful that Brian had some sort of heart attack. The reassuring beat and slow breathing of his unconscious friend made him sigh in relief. "He’s okay, I think. Just passed out."

Kevin ran his fingers nervously through his hair, rocking back and forth. "Shit! What do we do now?" He looked at the other three, waiting for their advice.

"Take his shirt off," Howie said calmly, remembering what they originally wanted. He ignored the glare from Nick, who hovered over his best friend. "Listen, we all just saw how violent Brian was. Take off the damn shirt, let's see what he didn’t want us to see."

AJ nodded. "He’s right. Kevin, help me with this."

Kevin knelt down, holding Brian’s slumped form upright in his arms while AJ and Nick carefully slipped the shirt over Brian’s head.

"Oh God!" moaned Howie and Nick together, not believing what they saw. Red, purple, and yellowish-green bruises were dotted over his chest and back, some perfectly formed, no more than the size of a quarter, others mottled and palm-sized.

"Check his hips, his legs," advised Kevin, grimacing at the sight of Brian’s injured chest. Nick tugged off Brian’s jeans, carefully scanning. "Look," he pointed, "there’s a few on his hip, one on the side of his right knee."

AJ shook his head, trying to make sense of it. "Well, it’s definitely not AIDS. I don’t know what the hell Katie was thinking." He pointed to Brian’s torso. "Jesus! Look at him! He’s so skinny! And he’s covered with bruises, but not one on his face, neck or arms! What gives? What kind of exercise could do that? Why is Brian so afraid to say anything?"

"Let’s find out," Howie said somberly. "He’s coming to." They watched as Brian moaned, his hands coming up to cover his eyes. Brian finally pulled away, turning to crouch on his hands and knees to help clear his head. He noticed he was clad only in his boxers and grimaced, ashamed and infuriated at the position he found himself in.

He felt AJ trying to help him up and he furiously slapped the offered hand away, rising on his own power. He pointed a finger at him, the color beginning to rise in his ashen face. "Stay the hell away from me!" he screamed, his voice shaking from rage. He glanced at the rest of the guys. "All of you!" He ripped his clothing away from Nick’s hands, struggling to put them on.

"Jesus, Bri, what’s going on? Why won’t you tell us? Dude, I thought we were tight!" said Nick, visibly upset. The group watched as Brian bent over, angrily lacing up his shoes. He spoke indirectly, as if talking to himself.

"Couldn’t leave me alone, could you? Couldn’t respect my privacy, take my word that everything’s fine. No, you had to butt in! Ya’ll happy now?"

Kevin grabbed Brian’s shoulder, disregarding the glare from his cousin. "Everything is not fine, Brian. It’s hard to miss those bruises. My God, you just passed out on us! It would take an idiot not to realize that something is wrong!"

Brian firmly shoved Kevin’s hand off his shoulder, his blue eyes narrowing into slits. "Look here, idiot," he spat, "Nothing is wrong, like I’ve been telling you all along!" He threw a warning look to all four, his tone dangerous. "Just leave me alone!"

AJ shook his head. "No can do, Bri. We’re not gonna stop until you come clean."

Brian watched as Nick, Howie, and Kevin nodded in agreement. He was stunned, the conviction in their words, the magnitude of the problem beginning to hit home. He thought he could hide this, keep everything a secret. With all four hounding him, especially AJ, he knew it would be next to impossible to keep Xavier from discovering their intent. That thought, plus his failure to control the situation, pushed him over the edge.

"No!" he cried, a horrible wave of panic engulfing him. He shoved blindly past Howie and Kevin, both who shouted at him to calm down. He couldn’t. Chest pounding, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps, he ran to the front, screaming at Harry to stop the bus.

Harry, fed up with the outrageous behavior of the five, had already exited the freeway and was cruising down a side street. Looking for a safe place to pull off in order to determine what they hell was going on back there, he turned to see Brian yelling, his eyes wild with fear.

"I’m just about sick and tired of your shenanigans," he began, when Brian grabbed his arm, trying to force him to open the door. "Hey!" he spluttered in surprise, hitting the brakes hard, the immense bus screeching and smoking its tires in protest. The bus shuddered to a stop and all five Backstreet Boys scrambled back to their feet, having been thrown off balance.

AJ, the quickest to recover, ran over to Brian to keep him from escaping. Brian lashed out hard, trying to untangle himself from AJ’s grasp. "Open the damn door!" Brian screamed again, struggling to free himself so he could grab the lever himself. With a mightly wrench, he pulled free from AJ’s grip and lunged for the handle, slamming the bi-fold door open and jumped, taking off at a dead run.

All four watched with disbelief as the fleeting form of their friend became smaller in size. Harry rose from his seat, slamming his fist in disgust. "That’s it!" he yelled, what little amount of gray hair he possessed, standing on end. "I quit! School kids are easier than you five!" He marched outside the bus, bending over to open the side compartment to fish out his bag. Tossing the keys to an astonished Kevin, he slammed the side door down with a resounding crash. "I’m out of here." He turned and starting walking away, signaling his goodbye with a quick flick of his hand.

"Wait!" screamed Nick. "Whose gonna drive the bus?"

"Nick! Forget him!" Kevin pulled the lever to the door, closing it with a hard thump. He hopped into the driver’s seat, turned on the ignition and floored the pedal. The bus lurched then began to pick up speed quickly.

"Whoa, man, be careful!" advised Howie. He had wisely kept his eye on what direction Brian had taken, tapping Kevin on the shoulder to point. Within a few moments they had caught up to the jogging form of their bandmate and they slowed the bus to a crawl, watching with alarming fascination as Brian continued to run, oblivious to their appearance.

"Damn!" swore AJ. "What do we do?"

"Let him run," advised Howie, and they all turned to listen to his sound advice. "I mean, how far can he go? Kev, just cruise slowly; keep pace. When he tires, and God knows he will soon enough, we’ll be able to catch him."

* * * * *

Brian kept his head down, occasionally wiping his brow with the hem of his shirt. He was dimly aware of the large bus creeping along side of him but he ignored it, too overwhelmed to concentrate on anything but putting one foot in front of the other. The panic attack had not lessened and Brian fought back the urge to scream. He ran on, hoping to find some relief, praying that he could exhaust himself and be rid of this horrible, suffocating fear.

Nick yelled something out the window to him, the noise of the traffic and wind muffling his words, and Brian continued, turning onto another side street. Frustrated, Nick turned to give Howie a pissed-off look. "Let him run," he mimicked, "how far can he go? Shit! He’s still going!" Nick came up to Kevin, who was trying his best to keep even with his cousin and watch out for impatient motorists who honked and sped around the slow-moving vehicle. "How far has he gone?"

Kevin spared a quick glance at the mileage. "Around four miles." Nick rolled his eyes, coming back to shake his head at AJ and Howie.

"He’s gonna kill himself before he stops," he declared to the two, his voice gloomy. Howie sighed, peering through the window. Twilight was beginning and he wondered how long they could keep sight of Brian before night fell.

* * * * *

Brian wished he had a small towel, the sweat pouring into his eyes was irritating his vision. He had hit his second wind, making it easier to focus on the situation at hand, the panic attack considerably lessened. He took more notice of the bus and its occupants inside, occasionally glancing in their direction. How he was going to explain this bizarre behavior, he had no idea. Brian desperately wished he could have handled things better, had the insight and knowledge to know what to do. He understood that under no circumstances could Xavier learn about this incident, that in order to pull this off he must come up with a satisfactory explanation that would put all the blame on his shoulders and garner no suspicion towards Xavier.

Brian’s stomach growled, a painful stitch hitting him. A wave of almost indescribable nausea staggered him and he stumbled. He caught himself before he fell and he jogged on, now bent on finding the nearest convenience or fast food place.

"Damn, did you see that?" questioned Nick anxiously. "Shouldn’t we grab him now?"

AJ bit his lip, his worry for Brian rising to the point of alarm. Brian’s physical stamina was astonishing, something he wouldn’t have believed if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. The abuse Brian was doling out to his body was incredible. AJ was about to agree with Nick when Kevin gave the bus a sudden right turn, causing everyone to frantically clutch for balance.

"What the hell?" Howie shouted in surprise.

Kevin pointed out the window, motioning for the group to notice what was happening. "Brian went in there."

AJ peered at the fast food joint and groaned. "Burger King?" The company was their tie-in to the tour and even though the promo was months old, having Brian show up in the state he was in could spell a PR nightmare. "Let me off!" he barked to Kevin, motioning for Nick to follow him. They jumped off the bus, watching as Kevin and Howie wisely pulled out of the parking lot to park discreetly across the street.

Nick grabbed AJ’s arm, trying to slow him down. "Hey, do you think it’s such a good idea for both of us to go in together?" he questioned, eyeing the car-filled lot. It was Friday night, not a good time for being inconspicuous.

AJ waved off Nick’s concern, quickening his step. "Come on. It’s not like we’re going to eat there. We need to get Brian out as soon as possible, before he causes a scene."

"Like we won’t?" grumbled Nick, hurrying to follow AJ.

* * * * *

Brian was glad to see no one standing in line; he was dying of thirst. He walked up to the nearest helper, a young, red-headed boy whose head was bent down, intent on cracking open a roll of quarters. Brian waited a moment, then realized the boy was more interested in opening the roll than in serving the next customer. He coughed, then coughed once again, more forcefully. The server still kept his head down, successfully dumping the broken roll of quarters into his register.

"Yeah," he drawled, "can I help you?"

"First of all, I need water, two big glasses of it, okay?"

The young cashier finally raised his head and eyed Brian guardedly, taking in the disheveled and sweaty man before him. "Hey, we don’t serve transients here, get lost."

Amazed that he hadn’t been recognized, Brian dug into his wallet, throwing a $100 dollar bill onto the counter. "Will this help?’" he smirked.

The helper smirked right back, picking up the hundred as if it was fake. "We don’t accept anything larger than a twenty, pal."

Brian was losing his cool, fast. He pulled out a debit card, handing it over. "I know you take debit."

The young boy took the card, suspicion written all over his face. With a nod of "just a second" he sauntered over to his supervisor, handing the card and pointing in Brian’s direction.

Brian watched as the older supervisor, who was barely out of his teens, look at the card, glance at Brian, then look at the card again. Brian sighed, wondering when he would be recognized. It didn’t take long. A small scream of surprise emitted from a co-worker just as she was handing a take-out order over the counter. "Oh my God!" she shrieked, her hand coming up to her mouth. She pointed a shaky red fingernail at him. "It’s you!" She started jumping up and down, oblivious to the customer who was holding his hand out to grab his order. The irate customer leaned over to snatch his bag, giving Brian a who-the-hell-are-you-look before leaving. Brian gave her a weak smile, his thirst at an all time high.

"Can I have a drink of water miss?"

She nodded happily in reply, nervously spilling most of the contents as she handed him the small courtesy cup. Brian downed the water in one gulp, holding the cup up for her to see. "How about your largest cup this time, okay sweetheart?"

She swooned at the nickname, just as Brian thought, and he smiled thinly as she anxiously stumbled over herself again to hand him the water. He thanked her and drank heavily, ignoring the stitch growing in his side.

"Yo, Bri, let’s go, man!"

He heard AJ yell his name loudly and he turned, including everyone in the restaurant. Brian held up his hand for AJ to hold on, turning back to face the astonished manager and his rude helper. "Can I order, or is something wrong with my card?" he asked, pointing to it.

"I , I," stammered the supervisor. "Management never told me you guys were coming!" he whined, his eyes wide as glanced at Brian, then at AJ and Nick who had now appeared at his side.

"Management doesn’t know," whispered Brian, as if it were a big secret. He turned to give the two a questioning look. "Want something? I’m starved."

AJ shifted nervously, noticing the growing attention they were receiving. "Rok, let’s go," he hissed.

"Order me a number 6," said Nick, pausing to wink at the cute Burger King girl before noticing AJ’s heated stare. "What? So sue me. I’m hungry too."

The red-headed boy shook his head as the two began arguing over whether they should order for Kevin and Howie. Brian looked at the helper, confused by the young kid’s expression. "What?" he asked, now annoyed.

"Well," began the boy, his face in disbelief, "you guys make millions, right?" AJ and Nick stopped arguing to listen to him.

"Yeah, so?"

"What the hell are you doing here, eating this shit?"

"Good question," replied AJ sourly, wishing Brian had chosen McDonalds.

Brian looked at AJ. "Have it your way…" he sang, punching AJ lightly on the shoulder. The slightest ghost of a smile crossed Brian's lips and AJ heaved a large sigh, glad to see some of the old Brian returning.

"Hell," he grumbled, "give me a number six too. Make that the same for Kev and D. And hurry it up!" he groaned to Brian, groaning with resignation as four giggling teenager girls came up, pens in hand.

Brian sent Nick over to pick up some condiments and was signing the receipt when he felt a tug on his arm. He straightened up, handing the pen back and noticed a dark-haired teenage girl literally clinging to his arm. She batted her eyelashes at him in her most inexperienced seductive way.

"Hi!" She nodded at his order that was being prepared. "Are you having it your way?" she cooed.

Brian looked her once over, pausing at the tone in her voice. "Uh, yeah."

She smiled, coming in closer. "My name’s Sandy. I can make sure you have it your way too."

Brian almost choked. "I’ll bet," he muttered under his breath. She was small, barely five feet tall, her size was overwhelmed by an outrageously grown-up figure. Brian politely pried her hand off his arm. "Call me when your legal," he whispered with a smirk and a wink. She frowned at him, then gave him a cold stare before setting her sights on Nick. Brian had to shake his head as he watched her circle like a hawk near Nick, who, now with AJ, was trying desperately to fulfill autograph requests.

"Here you go, sir" sneered the red-head, handing two bags and a drink holder to Brian. The singer ignored the sarcasm, glad to leave, almost faint from the tantalizing aroma of hot food. He turned to locate Nick and AJ, feeling slightly sorry at the ambush they were receiving. His mouth nearly dropped open when he noticed the dark-haired girl leaning over the table where Nick was seated, her blouse completely off. Bending over seductively in her tight pink bra, she pointed to a red-faced Nick where to sign his name on her chest.

A large, well-built young man, in his late teens, grabbed the near naked girl in anger. "Amy!" he yelled, irritated. "Put your shirt back on. You’re acting like a whore!"

Amy shoved her boyfriend hard, glaring at him. "Shut up Zach! You’re not my dad."

A large muscled arm reached in and grabbed Amy, ripping her away from Nick who was trying to finish signing his name. "Hey!" said Nick, looking up from where he sat, startled.

Zach elbowed his way in, shoving the small crowd apart. "Fucking Backstreet Boys!" he sneered, leaning in close, turning his anger onto Nick and AJ. "Thinking you can have any and every girl! Making them act like sluts for your enjoyment!"

Nick nervously glanced at AJ, noticing that the room had become deathly quiet. Tossing his pen aside, AJ stood up and held his hands up in peace. "Listen dude, we’re outta here." He motioned for Nick to follow him and Nick got up only to be shoved roughly down in his seat. Nick’s blue eyes glared up at Zach’s angry ones.

"Better let me go," he advised Zach, his voice threatening.

Zach caught Nick’s warning tone, his anger rising to a pitch. "Prick!" he jeered as he pointed a finger, an impulsive sense of superiority filling him. "I should kick your ass!"

Alarmed, AJ shoved his way towards Zach, his mind bent on one thing: getting to Nick.

Worried, Nick had the same idea, getting to AJ and getting the hell out. Nick jumped up hurriedly from his seat, AJ coming from behind, effectively boxing Zach in between the two. Feeling threatened, Zach slammed an elbow into AJ’s chest, sending him reeling backwards. He crashed against a large metal railing, slumping to the floor, dazed. Wide-eyed, Nick stared in disbelief at his friend lying on the ground, then turned to look at Zach, too late to protect himself from the vicious blow aimed at his face. A powerful hand enclosed around Zach’s fist, stopping the punch just inches from Nick’s jaw. Zach turned awkwardly to see Brian twisting his hand, forcing Zach painfully backwards. Brian kept up the pressure, crushing his hand, his blue eyes dark with anger.

"You want to fight?" Brian taunted. "Okay, how about me?"

Nick rushed over to AJ, helping him up. They watched in morbid fascination as their bandmate overpowered Zach, skillfully bringing him to his knees. Both heard the gasp of pain from Zach as Brian continued to squeeze, the muscles in his right arm bulging from the effort. Brian bent over, his face inches from the sweating one of Zach’s.

"Now are you going to be a good boy if I let you go?" he asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Zach nodded his reply, his words lost in a haze of pain. "Good." Brian slowly released his grip. He turned to glance at Nick and AJ, his face tight, and with a shock AJ realized that Brian sounded just like Xavier.

With the power and agility of youth, Zach sprang up instantly, a murderous glint in his eyes. He swung wildly, hoping to connect with any part of Brian’s anatomy. Brian dodged the throw easily, coming back with a one-two punch that quickly sent the angry boyfriend to the hard floor. Stunned, Zach gingerly touched his jaw and mouth, pulling his hand away to gaze stupidly at the bright red blood that covered his fingers. He turned his face towards his worried girlfriend to listened uncomprehendingly to her reassuring words of comfort.

Brian grabbed the bags of the now-cooling food from the bystander he had shoved them at, nodding his thanks to the opened-mouth spectator. He turned to Nick and AJ, his face changed from one of anger to concern. "You guys alright?" he asked calmly. AJ nodded his head, rubbing his midsection. "Let’s go before the food is completely cold." Brian hurried outside, handing the drink holder for Nick to carry. He took off at a jog, Nick and AJ following close behind.

"Damn!" swore Nick, his voice filled with awe. "Remind me never to get into a fight with you! Can you teach me those tricks?"

Brian turned his head to find Nick smiling.

"Sure, anytime, Frack."

Nick looked back at AJ who was doing his best to keep up with a sore stomach. "Here that Bone? Bri’s gonna teach me, how about you?"

AJ grimaced as he ran to catch up, not answering. Never in a million years.

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT – OPPOSING VIEWS

Kevin was glad he took Howie’s advice and kept the bus’ engine running. Tending to his jaw with an ice pack, he missed the expressions on Brian, Nick, and AJ as the three hopped on, but jumped quickly to attention as AJ and Nick screamed for him to "take off!" Hurriedly slamming the door, Kevin floored the gas pedal, narrowly missing a parked car. Wondering what the hell was happening, he checked the large side mirrors outside the bus but saw nothing, his view blocked by nightfall. As he urged the bus for more speed he spared a glance in the rearview mirror to see Howie catching a Burger King bag that was tossed by Brian. "What’s going on?" he yelled over his shoulder to Howie. Howie glanced inside the bag for a moment, before turning his attention to AJ.

"Yeah, what happened?" he quizzed, noticing AJ wincing slightly as he sat down.

"It was so cool D," explained Nick, jumping in. "AJ got clobbered by an jealous boyfriend, and Bri nailed the son-of-a bitch!"

Kevin craned his neck to hear. "AJ has a jealous boyfriend?"

"No!" yelled Nick and AJ simultaneously. AJ looked at Nick, exasperation on his face.

"Nick, let me explain." He turned to face Howie and Kevin. "A fan wanted her autograph signed by Nick, so she took her shirt off." Howie shook his head, still confused.

"She took her shirt off so you could sign the shirt?"

"No!" screamed Nick and AJ again. "Sign her!"

"Right on her chest!" explained Nick and Kevin and Howie suddenly understood. "They were awesome!" Nick added and now Kevin and Howie really understood.

"So what’s this about you nailing someone?" Howie asked, curious. He took a handful of fries and sat down next to Brian, giving him a nudge.

Brian mumbled, "It was nothing," and took another large bite of his sandwich. Slightly shocked at the way Brian was cramming his food down, Howie glanced at AJ, raising his eyebrows with a what gives? look. AJ shook his head, just as puzzled.

Nick decided to fill Howie in. "Nothing, my ass! Brian nearly punched his lights out! You shoulda been there, D. This guy almost smashed my face in but Brian saved me," he crowed, reaching over his seat to steal a large handful of AJ’s fries.

"Too bad he did," replied AJ sourly, trying unsuccessfully to smack Nick's hand away.

A small but genuine sound of laughter burst from Brian. Surprised, all four turned to stare at him. "He laughed!" shrieked Nick, pointing dramatically. "Frick is back from the land of the weird." There was a moment of awkward silence as Nick’s statement hit home. Embarrassed, Nick coughed, his face reddening slightly. "Sorry, Bri," he mumbled, wishing he could kick himself. "I didn’t mean it."

"Yes, you did," said Brian good-naturedly, a small blush of embarrassment growing. He felt self-conscious as they all looked at one another, waiting for him to break the ice. He knew his odd behavior demanded an explanation; somehow he had to convince everyone that he alone was the one to blame for his eccentric mood swings. It was now or never. He bowed his head, unable to keep eye contact. "I know I haven’t been acting normal lately," Brian spoke, almost in a whisper. "I’m sorry." Brian paused, gathering his thoughts. Nick, Kevin, AJ, and Howie held their breath, not daring to speak. "As you know, this tour has been kinda hard on me. I just want y’all to know that none of it is your fault. I’m to blame. Me and me only." Brian closed his eyes a second, praying that they would believe him.

"Explain the bruises," prodded AJ gently.

Brian looked up, his face weary. "It’s from exercise, like I told you," he lied. "I asked Xavier to teach me boxing, to learn some fighting skills. The bruises are from when we spar." He hoped his face was expressionless, because his thoughts were not. He tried to ignore the unpleasant flashbacks of when Xavier had hit, punched, or strangled him.

Kevin knew Brian was the most athletic of the five, but he had a hard time believing his cousin could put himself through this shit. "And you enjoy doing this?" he asked from the front, in total disbelief. Brian gave a small snort, looking at Nick and AJ.

"Hell no, I usually hate it, but it sure saved your ass, didn’t it?"

AJ gave Brian a small smile of acknowledgement. "Yeah... it did. Okay, what about your weight loss?"

Brian felt like AJ’s eyes were trying to pierce right through him. "Two things. One, I’m eating better." AJ frowned as he glanced at Brian’s Burger King bag. "Okay, okay, I’m trying to. Xavier has me on a better diet. Two, all this exercise has made me lose a lot."

Three, cause I’m starving to death because Xavier watches me like a hawk and I never seem to get a chance, Brian thought resentfully.

AJ crunched his bag up, tossing it one-handed into the trashcan. "Alright, one more question." Brian inwardly tensed up, a feeling of alarm sweeping over him. He sensed his false confession had pacified Nick, Howie and Kevin, but AJ was an entirely different matter.

"Shoot," Brian said calmly, anything but.

"Look at me straight and tell me Xavier isn’t causing any problems for you," asked AJ bluntly, his arms folded across his chest.

Brian knew it was coming, but the question still hit him like a sledgehammer. He noticed all four watching him with extreme interest and knew the way he responded could either spell success or disaster. Brian found himself biting the inside of his mouth hard, hoping the pain would quell the fear rising in him. Answer! his mind screamed, now before they begin to suspect! He didn’t come this far to fall short on one simple question. Sending up a small prayer, Brian showed his most sincere smile.

"Well, sure he causes problems Bone, everyone knows he’s a pain-in-the-ass bodyguard! But I want his help, I asked for it, and he’s trying his best to teach me."

"Teach you what, exactly?" asked AJ, "how to drive yourself into an early grave?"

"No. How to improve myself; to try new things."

Howie snorted in reply, got up and also tossed his garbage away. "You sure are going about this the hard way," he muttered.

Brian turned his attention away from Howie to AJ who was shaking his head. "You really haven’t answered my question, Rok. What I want to know is, is Xavier bullying you, threatening you in any way?"

A small bead of nervous sweat tricked down the side of his temple and Brian causally wiped it away, hoping no one noticed. He tried to read AJ’s expression but he had put on those damn sunglasses again, making it impossible for Brian to see.

Brian yawned, hoping it masked his nervousness. "AJ, do you really think I would allow a bodyguard do that?"

"I don’t know, why don’t you tell me."

A flush of anger swept through Brian. Damn him! Why couldn’t AJ just accept his explanation? He rose from his seat, his eyes narrowing into slits as he came nose to nose with AJ. "What is it with you, huh? What do you want me to say? That Xavier beats me senseless, that he threatens my life, that he’s holding me hostage in some bizarre way?" Brian’s voice raised to a higher pitch. "Well, you’re outta luck, pal!" He swung his hand around. "You know, I’m getting tired of all your crap!" Brian pointed his finger at AJ. "Especially yours! I gave you guys the truth, if you can’t accept it, well tough shit!"

Nick reached out to lay a concerned arm on his shoulder, only to have Brian move away. A sudden wave of exhaustion caused him to sway a little and he rubbed his forehead with his hand. "I’m going to lay down," he said curtly, turning on his heal and heading towards his bunk.

For a moment, no one said anything, then Nick rolled his eyes at AJ. "Went a little overboard, don’t you think?" he questioned as he headed up front to see Kevin.

AJ gazed at him sourly. "You mean me or Brian?" he groused, not wanting a reply.

Nick didn’t care to answer. He sat behind Kevin, watching the oldest Backstreet Boy drive. After a moment Nick heaved a heavy sigh and tapped Kevin on the shoulder. "Know where you’re going?"

"Nope."

Nick gave a small snort of disbelief. "You’re kidding, right?"

Kevin drove on. "Nope."

"Well, damn! Where are we?"

Kevin pursed his lips, thinking. "The same state, I think."

"Very funny, ha, ha."

Nick paused for a moment. "Kev, what do you think about Brian?"

Kevin shrugged. "I don’t know...maybe we should just lay low for awhile, give it a rest. Let Bri rest too. The only thing I know for sure is that he’s exhausted. And if Brian doesn’t get better, our tour is in trouble, that’s for sure."

Nick peered into the darkness, running a hand dejectedly through his blond hair. "Yeah."

He glanced back at AJ and Howie, who were deep in conversation, then chewed on his lip, upset by the turn of events.

"Shit, this is just great! One, our bus driver has abandoned us; two, Bri looks like he’s gonna have a nervous breakdown; and three, we have no idea where the hell we are."

Kevin turned to give Nick a quick look. "Four, you got to sign a great pair of tits."

Nick stared at Kevin, unsure he heard right until he saw Kevin give him a wicked grin, trying to ease the tension. Nick gave a sharp laugh, shaking his head. "Right! Sure. Well I guess that makes up for everything!"

"Good." Kevin pointed to the glove compartment. "Now go find the map. Let’s see if you’re smart enough to read it, or are you just another pretty face?"

Nick hopped into the passenger’s side, rummaging around the compartment. "I’m both," he smirked.

* * * * *

Howie handed AJ a Coke, the last one remaining in the small refrigerator. "Here," he said, shoving it in front of AJ, who was bent over in his chair, lost in thought.

AJ accepted it, popped the ring, and took a long swig. Howie patiently waited for AJ to finish his drink, sitting quietly.

"He's lying," AJ stated flatly, his voice holding no emotion. Howie glanced back at Brian's sleeping compartment, then gave his friend a quizzical look.

"How do you know?" he asked, lowering his voice to a whisper.

AJ gave Howie an irritated look. "How the hell could you not know? Shit Howie, we've been together how many years?"

"Well excuse me for not being the all-knowing AJ McLean!" hissed Howie, his brown eyes flashing in anger.

AJ sighed, his irritation fading. "Sorry, D.," he apologized, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "It's just that everything is so incredibly fucked up."

Howie nodded in reply, rubbing the palms of his hands absentmindedly on his jeans. "So, what is Brian lying about?"

AJ stood up, stretching. "Everything...something… I'm not sure. I just know he isn't telling us the truth."

"Well if Brian is so intent on keeping it a secret..." Howie paused, "...I guess there's nothing we can do then, right?"

"Wrong. We had goddamn better well do something."

Howie stood up, worried by the frustrated tone in his friend's voice. "AJ, what are you saying?"

AJ gave him a hardened look, grabbing Howie by the arm and pulling him close. "D," he said slowly, his voice dropping so low that Howie strained to hear it. "I've got a feeling Brian's secret is going to take us all down." Howie looked at AJ. The same distressing feeling had been nagging at him for some time now and he nodded slowly, his belief confirmed by AJ's sobering expression.

"What should we do?"

AJ shook his head, taking off his glasses to look clearly into Howie's worried face. "I'm not sure. But I'll be damned if I going to let him do it."

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