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HER by Amanda (c) 2001
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Not willing to lay himself open to an attack, AJ immediately flattened himself along the outside wall, fully expecting to see Brian come rushing out. He braced himself, his heart pounding wildly as he waited for the inevitable. The inevitable didn’t appear. With a quiet whoosh of air, the door automatically swung back shut. Still pressed tightly against the wall, AJ stood there for a moment in disbelief, unsure what to do. He finally peeled himself away from the wall and turned to cautiously eye the closed door.
On edge, AJ glanced up and down the hallway, hoping to find any sign of life, anyone that might be able to help him. Sure would be nice if my damn bodyguard was doing his job! Where the hell is he? AJ considered how to find him. Cell phone. Then he remembered. His cell phone was in his duffel bag, the bag he so willingly left behind in his frantic rush to escape. Great. Just great. AJ gave a nervous cough and reluctantly returned his attention to the door. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering up the nerve to try again. Reaching out, he positioned a jittery palm against the door.
Just do it!
Okay, all right!
AJ propelled the door open with a hard thrust, again quickly plastering himself against the wall.
He held his breath. There was no movement.
What the hell?
Way beyond curious, AJ carefully bent round the edge to peer in. He caught a brief glimpse inside before the door clicked shut in his face. Was that Brian lying crumpled in the corner? Alarmed, he banged the door open with his foot, fairly dancing with unease as he scanned the interior.
There!
Brian was on the floor, his face turned away, his body curled up. AJ caught the door before it closed, his fingers tightening around the edge of the frame. He fought hard to control his rising panic as he took a few tentative steps inward, not willing to let go of the door just yet.
“Brian?”
AJ knew Brian had not heard him; he barely heard himself, his nervousness so acute that he could scarcely speak. He cleared his throat.
“Brian?”
Silence.
With what he knew was more bravado than brains, he took a gamble and let the door close behind him. Rubbing his sweaty palms against his pant legs, AJ took a few steps closer, staring at Brian’s slumped form.
“Brian….Brian?” Unwilling to get too close, AJ reached out with the toe of his shoe and nudged Brian’s leg.
“Hey…man...you okay?”
No response.
AJ prodded him once more, this time more forcefully.
Nothing.
Frowning, AJ stuck his foot out again, only to discover Brian’s hand gripped solidly around his ankle.
With a wild scream AJ jerked backwards, trying desperately to shake off Brian’s tight grasp. Arms flailing madly, he lost his balance and landed to the ground with a heavy thud.
“Damnit, stop kicking me!”
With a small grunt of pain, Brian struggled to a sitting position and glared at AJ, his blue eyes bright with annoyance. Ignoring AJ’s stunned look, Brian leaned over and grabbed the nearest chair for support, hoisting himself upright. He hobbled over to the dressing room mirror and hesitantly touched the glass, anxiety etched in his face. AJ watched in shocked silence as Brian studied his reflection closely, his fingers trembling as he traced his image. With a heavy sigh, Brian slowly pulled away from the mirror and bowed his head. His hands sought for the stability of the table in front of him, his knuckles turning white from pressure as he gripped its edge tightly.
“Get out.”
Brian’s voice was low and it took a moment for AJ to register the harsh bitterness in it. “Hey, come on, wait a minute…” he pleaded, wincing as he awkwardly jumped up and dusted himself off.
Brian turned to face him. “I said get out!”
“But, I…I want to help you.” AJ reached out with a concerned hand to touch Brian’s shoulder but suddenly withdrew it. He took a step backwards, still fearful.
“Help?” Brian gave an exasperated snort of contempt. “AJ! How are you going to help me? You’re too scared to get near me, much less touch me!” Grimacing, Brian shoved himself away from the table and stumbled over to the couch. He sat down, his body bending forward as he wrapped his arms around his stomach.
AJ remained silent, embarrassed by the truth. It’s true. I don’t want to touch him…hell, I don’t even want to get near him! Sighing, AJ walked over and crouched down on his haunches, trying to catch Brian’s eye without actually touching him. “You’re right. I am scared,” he admitted frankly. “Really, really scared.”
Brian raised his head, his exhaustion evident. “How do you think I feel?!”
AJ rubbed his face with a tired hand. “I don’t know. How do you feel?”
Brian shifted in his seat, biting his lip as he cringed from the movement. “Angry. Afraid. And like every damn rib in my body is broken!” Gingerly, Brian began to inspect his bruised body, his face twisting in pain as he came in contact with tender spots. He studied AJ for a moment. “Why did you kick me?”
“Why?” Blinking in surprise, AJ stood up and looked down at Brian. “You don’t remember why?”
“No. Remember what?”
Fuck. AJ frowned, not liking this.
A note of irritation crept into Brian’s voice. “AJ, remember what?”
“Brian, you threw me to the ground. Hard. You were bending over me…no, she was bending over me, with…with… that look…” AJ stopped short, seeing the dismayed reaction on Brian’s face. “And then, uh, then you, sorry, I mean her, well, she started to reach out for me. I was scared, so I kicked you… umm… her.”
Brian’s face clouded with bewilderment, trying to absorb the information. “I don’t remember any of it,” he said quietly. “Not a thing.” He glanced at AJ, hopeful. “Are you sure? Maybe you’re mistaken. Maybe you just imagined you saw her.”
AJ shook his head. “No, Rok. No mistake. I’m positive I saw her. The glow, in your eyes. . . ” AJ paused for a second before continuing, “she’s inside you.”
“But I don’t feel her,” Brian objected. “Don’t you think if she was in me I could feel her? Sense her?”
AJ could hear the fear rising in his friend’s voice. “Brian, man, I don’t know. I don’t know why you can’t feel her. But don’t go all panicky on me, okay? We gotta remain calm.”
“Remain calm?” Brian’s voice rose another notch. “AJ, how the hell am I supposed to remain calm? Huh? You’re saying she’s in me! Me! Oh god, what am I going to do?”
Brian buried his head in his hands, his voice breaking in anguish. “What am I going to do?” he repeated softly.
AJ stood by, discouraged. He had absolutely no clue what to do, what advice to give to Brian. He knew they were both at a loss, confused and scared over what had happened to them. He also knew that Nick, Kevin and Howie would be of no help. If anything, those three would only pose more problems. AJ rubbed his forehead. God, I need to think! Think! But he was tired, drained. All I want to do is go to the hotel, have a stiff drink, crawl under the covers and stay there for about the next twenty years. AJ looked at Brian, his hands still covering his face. But I can’t, can I? Brian needs my help. I’m in this. . . we’re in this… together.
“Brian.”
Slowly, little by little, AJ watched as Brian brought his head up. AJ caught his breath, a wild rush of fear coursing through him, positive that he would see two glowing eyes staring straight at him.
“What?”
Brian’s eyes were still blue.
AJ coughed, embarrassed by his loss of composure, hoping Brian hadn’t seen his fright. By the vacant look Brian was giving him, he didn’t think so. “Uh, I think you and I have a bit of a problem,” he stated lamely. No shit, McLean! That was brilliant.
“Problem?”
“I mean, we gotta decide what to do.”
“Do?”
AJ stared at Brian. “Do. You know, think this out.”
“Think?” Brian’s replies were becoming monosyllabic, his voice blank, showing AJ just how much Brian was really listening to him.
“Yeah, think. Think! As in, using our brains!”
“Brains?”
“God damn it! What the hell is the matter with you? Listen to me!” AJ’s harsh tone made Brian snap to attention.
“You don’t have to shout, AJ. I can hear you.”
“Really? You could have fooled me.”
Brian frowned. “What’s that suppose to mean?”
“It means I can’t have you zoning out on me like you just did! Pay attention! If we don’t put our heads together, figure this out, we’re gonna be in a shitload of trouble!”
“I know that! I know that! Don’t you think I know that?” Brian abruptly stood up, ignoring the pain, his face dark as he stared fiercely at AJ.
“Holy shit.”
AJ took a step back, gaping at Brian.
Brian blinked. “What? What?”
“You. . . you. . . ” stammered AJ.
“What?!”
“Your eyes changed!” AJ tried not to glance at the door.
“They did not! You’re lying.”
“Why the fuck would I lie?! Brian, you’re eyes changed! Just for a second, but they did!”
“I. . . no. . . ” Brian began to shake noticeably. “AJ. Did I. . . did I do anything?”
“No. You were yelling at me and then your eyes turned…” AJ didn’t finish.
Brian continued to shake, his body trembling in fear and exhaustion. “Oh god,” he whispered. He looked at AJ pleadingly. “Help me.” Without warning, Brian lunged forward, grabbing onto AJ, wrapping his arms tightly around the young singer’s frame.
Terrified, AJ began to struggle to free himself, but Brian’s grip was unbelievably strong. “Help me, AJ,” Brian begged. “Help me, please.”
AJ finally broke away, panting from the exertion. He pointed a warning finger at Brian. “Shit! Don’t ever grab me like that again, you understand?”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
“Don’t grab me!”
“AJ, I wouldn’t hurt you, I swear!”
AJ’s look of skepticism was enough to keep Brian from arguing the point. He wearily walked over to a chair, unable to find the strength to stand anymore, much less think. But he had to. Had to find the strength to think, to figure what was going on with him, what was going on inside him. He was afraid. Deathly afraid. Of what he was, of what he might do. He knew, he knew, that he would never intentionally hurt AJ. But could he guarantee it? How could he stop something he wasn’t even aware of doing? AJ said his eyes had changed. In the span of a second, she was there, then gone. He couldn’t feel it, much less remember it, but AJ’s terror was evident, testifying to the fact that it was indeed real. With a shiver, Brian thought about her power, the excruciating pain she emitted through her touch. Her touch. Brian wondered about that. “AJ, before, you said that I threw you down on the ground. Could you feel her?”
AJ, still stunned by Brian’s sudden grab, looked at him, confused.
“The pain, AJ. Did you feel the pain?”
“No. No pain,” he admitted, then nodded, remembering. “Brian, that’s why I came back. To help you. I realized in the hall that I hadn’t felt a thing. There was no pain, nothing when you touched me. I figured if she couldn’t hurt me with the pain, then maybe she couldn’t do other things too.”
“But I hurt you! I threw you to the ground!”
“Brian, you caught me off-guard. You’re strong, maybe you’re stronger because of her, but I don’t think you have her strength, her power. Otherwise, I don’t think I could have escaped from your grip.”
Brian relaxed, visibly relieved. “Thank God. So her power is. . . ” he struggled to find the right word.
“Diluted?”
Brian gave AJ a sharp, humorless laugh. “I doubt it.”
“So, how do you explain her not being able to zap me?”
Brian sighed. “I can’t. I can’t explain any of this.”
“Yeah. Well, we had better figure out what’s going on. And real soon.”
Brian’s face fell, understanding what AJ meant. “I can’t go on stage like this.”
“No shit. It’s lucky we have some days off before the next concert, we’re going to need it. We need to discover just what the hell is going on.”
Brian was silent, not looking at him and AJ began to get nervous. “Brian. Brian! Don’t get spacey on me again! I can’t tell if it’s you or her!”
Brian smiled ruefully. “Sorry, Bone. Didn’t mean to scare you. I was just wondering how I was going to manage to get through the next few days.”
“With me, Brian. With me. We’re in this together, remember? I’m not going to abandon you. I’m not sure either how we are gonna get through this, but we’ll do it together. I promise.”
Brian nodded dumbly, grateful for AJ’s support.
“Yo, AJ!”
Startled, both turned at the greeting. AJ’s mouth turning into a sour frown, seeing a familiar head poked through the doorway. “Hey, man! Where have you been?”
“You all ready to go? Car’s waiting.” AJ’s bodyguard jerked his thumb, not offering an explanation as to his whereabouts.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be there in a minute.”
The bodyguard shrugged and left. “I think it’s time for a new bodyguard,” AJ mumbled.
“What?”
“Nothing, never mind. Let’s go, I want to get out of here. We can talk more in the limo.” AJ went to retrieve his bag, snatching Brian’s and offering it to him. AJ scanned the room and then looked critically at Brian who was supporting his stomach with one arm. “You gonna be okay?”
Brian gave him a shaky laugh and stood up, easing the duffel bag over his shoulder. “Oh, sure. I’m fine, just perfect. How about you?”
“Never been better.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
“Not a care in the world.”
“Yep.”
They both stared at each other.
“You know, we’re such fucking liars.”
Brian shrugged, smiling faintly. “You said it, not me.” He walked stiffly to the door and pulled on the handle. “After you?”
AJ hesitated for a split second and Brian caught his look of suspicion. “You don’t trust me, do you?” AJ grimaced, damning his insecurity. Here he was, promising Brian his support, and then he pulled away.
Brian nodded. “It’s okay,” he replied softly. “I don’t trust me either.”
There was more disappointment than distress in Brian’s voice and AJ struggled, wondering what to say. He finally walked over, standing face to face with his friend. “I trust you.” AJ paused for a moment, then with a deliberate movement reached out and clamped a secure hand onto Brian’s shoulder. AJ looked squarely at Brian, his brown eyes penetrating through the blue depths of Brian’s, searching, seeking. “But I don’t trust her.” Slowly, he pulled his hand away, his meaning clear.
Brian nodded, silent, and went first down the hallway.
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