June 29, 2004. It has been a while since I have written in my blog. I have been depressed and haven't felt like doing much of anything except sleep. I finally went to the doctor and got put on some medicine. Not sure if it is helping yet. August 10th can't get here soon enough. That is when school starts back. I know I need to put my trust in the Lord, and not worry about where the money is going to come from, but it is hard to do that when you don't have any at all. Please keep me in your prayers. I need them.br> posted by Melinda at 11:38 p.m.

May 9, 2004. Well, Mother's Day is finally here. Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers. As always I cried my little heart out at church today. It is hard when you want to be a mom and can't. It is the worst feeling in the world. I have been so alone today. Yes, I have prayed, but I don't feel any better than I did before I prayed. I spent time at moms. I thought that would help. It didn't. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I shouldn't. I know that I would be a wonderful Mother, and I think that is what bothers me too. I don't know why God hasn't provided me with a child. I keep thinking that maybe God thinks I wouldn't be a good mom. Just this week, we had a 19 year old who threw her baby in a dump. Someone found the baby, took it to the hospital, and the birthmother is allowed to see the baby. It just makes me so sad. Why did she do it and then turns around and wants the baby back? I don't understand. There are so many that want children and can't have them and we have to listen to stories like these. I am sorry that I am writing about this, but I am really hurting today and needed to express my feelings. Please keep me in your prayers.

posted by Melinda at 3:31 p.m.