Will was sitting on his couch in his apartment, after having talked to Grace. He was sulking, and looking wishfully at the phone.

Almost as if on cue, Jack came bursting in through the door. He happily pranced over to the couch, and flopped down onto it next to Will.

" What's the matter, sweetie?" asked Jack. " You still moping over, er, what was his name again?"

" Charlie. And yes I am," said Will. " And now I feel even worse, because, guess what?"

" What?"

" Ben said the reason Charlie didn't call is because I'm a lousy date!"

" Well, I wouldn't know, would I?" said Jack, his happy expression faltering for a second. " But here's an idea, why don't we go on a date?"

" What?!" cried Will. " What do you mean?"

" We could go on a pretend blind date, and I could show you how you should act on a first date," explained Jack, eagerly.

" I don't really want to act like YOU do on a first date," muttered Will.

" Well maybe if you did then you might actually have sex more than, oh, once a year," smirked Jack.

" Hey!" Will said, annoyed.

" So how longs it been?"

" ...A couple of months."

" Exactly," Jack nodded, knowingly. " You need my help. So what do you say?"

" Oh...Ok," Will sighed in defeat.

" Great!" said Jack, getting up off the couch and walking over to the door. " I'll pick you up at seven."

As he left Will wondered just what he had gotten himself into.

* * * * *

When 7pm came round, Jack knocked on Will's door. Will answered after and moment and Jack grinned at him.

" Hi! Are you ready to go?" Jack asked, brightly.

" Yeah, yeah," sighed Will, not looking particularly pleased about the circumstances.

Will leaned over and got his coat off the rack, and then followed Jack to the lift.

" I got a cab, it's downstairs," said Jack, as they went inside and the lift doors closed.

" Really? I would of thought it would be in this lift," Will said, sarcastically.

" No, don't be silly," Jack said, completely missing the point. " How would it fit in here?"

Will just rolled his eyes. " Never mind."

A couple of minuets later, they were in the cab and on the way to...

" Where are we going, anyway?" Will asked.

" It's a secret!" Jack giggled.

Jack started to pull something out of his pocket.

" Here, put this on," he said.

Will looked at the object in his hand. " Jack, don't you remember what I said to you earlier about the blind folded dates?"

" Oh go on Will," pleaded Jack. " Just put it on, I don't want you to see where we're going yet."

Jack looked at Will pleadingly, his big blue eyes on full 'puppy dog' mode.

" Oh, alright!" Will said, giving in to the look. " But if we end up at a strip bar, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, or the docks, then I'm out of here."

" Don't worry, I wouldn't do that...again," promised Jack. " Not after that time with that guy dressed as President Bush, who said that with a little help, he could find YOUR weapon of mass destruction... I don't really feel like going through all that again."

" Oh god, don't remind me," Will groaned as he put on the blind fold. " I just hope we can hurry up and get to wherever you want us to go."

" Well," Jack began, his voice lowering to an almost suggestive tone. " If I had my way, we'd go 'everywhere' if you know what I mean..."

" No, I don't," said Will, sounding a little puzzled, and looking... A little stupid really, since he did have a blind fold on.

" Oh, er, It doesn't really matter," said Jack. " Oh, look. We're here."

The cab pulled up outside a building, and after paying the cab driver, he opened the door and he and Will got out.

" OK, can you help me?" asked Will, standing still so that he didn't fall over.

Jack took his hand and started to lead him towards the building.

" Jack, tell me, do I look stupid in this thing?"

" Yes, very."

" Well thank you!"

" Hey, I was just trying to be honest!"

Jack held the door open for Will and they both walked inside. Once they were in, Jack leaned up and took off Will's blindfold.

" Surprise!"

Will glanced around. He was surprised. They were in the same damm restaurant where he'd had his date with Charlie.

'Oh wonderful' thought Will. 'This is going to be a fun night...'

Not noticing Will's discomfort, Jack grabbed him by the arm and dragged him over to the bar.

After they sat down and ordered their drinks, Will turned to Jack.

" So what do we do now then?" asked Will. " Or were you just planing on getting me drunk?"

" No, I was planing on getting ME drunk," answered Jack. " Now, we have to act like this is a real blind date, so..."

Jack turned to Will. " The date begins now. Hi."

" Hi."

" Ok, let's stop right there." said Jack, and he began to run his eyes over Will, critically. " First of all, why would you choose to wear your fat jeans on a blind date?"

Will looked puzzled. " What? These are not my fa-- I don't have fat jeans because I'm not fat! Why did I ever think this was a good idea...?"

Will sighed and took a sip from his newly arrived drink.

" Because I'm an expert. Will, I go on literally thousands of dates a year," Jack said, as if the answer was obvious.

" That doesn't make you an expert, that makes you an escort," Will said, glaring at him. " Any particular reason we had to come back here?"

" Er, hello, scene of the crime. We have to retrace your steps to find out where, exactly, you went wrong," Jack explained. " Now, let's start again,"

He held out his hand. " Hi, I'm Jack McFarland."

" I'm Will Truman."

" Ok, stop."

" Come on!" Will cried in annoyance. " W-w-what could I have done wrong? I just said my name!"

" It doesn't work. "Will Truman." It's--it's not-- It's a turn-off. What about... Mary Fatjeans?" he said, before bursting out laughing.

Will stood up and started to walk away. " Bye-bye."

Jack jumped up after him and held onto his arm, stopping him from walking away.

" I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Just givin' ya a little rough love." he said, touching the side of Will's face, playfully. " I know you're in the dark, lady, but the truth is, you're a bit of a catch. Any guy would kill to be standing where I'm standing right now."

Will looked at him in surprise. " Thanks, Jack."

Jack waited hesitantly for a moment before suddenly clapping his hands in front of Will's face. " You will now forget everything I've just said."

" You didn't hypnotise me, you monkey,"

Jack raised an eyebrow. " Didn't I?"

" Now, back to zero. Your date is now becoming very bored with you. You can't afford to be coy. Why not show some interest by touching me gently yet... Inappropriately," said Jack, slyly, looking like he was having a little too much fun with this.

Will put his hand behind Jack's neck, and Jack closed his eyes.

" There you go, baby..." he said quietly.

Will then grinned and smacked the back of Jack's neck.

" Ow! What was th--"

" Ok, let's go back to zero," said Will, cutting him off.

" Oh shut up," said Jack, rubbing his neck. " Come on, let's go get our table."

* * * * *

A few minuets later they were seated at their table and waiting for their orders to come.

" So what do we do now?" asked Will.

" Well what do you usually do on a date?" Jack said.

" I dunno..." mumbled Will.

" You dunno?" echoed Jack. " No wonder you don't go out much."

" Well then 'expert' what should I do?" Will asked, glaring at Jack.

" You just gotta be nice, friendly, that sort of thing."

" I am! I'm friendly, and I make jokes too," said Will, and Jack winced.

" Oooh. You? Telling jokes? You don't tell good jokes."

" Yes I do!"

Jack stared at him blankly.

" Oh alright, I don't!" Will cried. " What else?"

" Well you could do this, you take their hand," began Jack, and he grabbed one of Will's hands in his own, and rested the other on top. " And then you look into their eyes and go, god, you're the most gorgeous person I've ever seen."

Will stared back at Jack. " Really?" he asked.

" See, it worked!" grinned Jack.

" Huh? Oh, hey it did!" said Will, breaking his stare. " That's quite clever."

" Look, the foods here," said Jack, as a waiter put their food down on the table.

Will immediately picked up his knife and fork, and started to eat quickly.

" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there, cowboy," said Jack, pushing Will's hands away from the food. " A gentleman always eats like a lady."

Will rolled his eyes, but started to eat more slowly.

" And this is probably a good time to compliment your date," Jack said, leaning back in his chair. " Tell me my eyes are pretty."

" The bug eye, or the other one?" asked Will.

" Ok. See, this arrogance is probably why your date with Charlie didn't work out," said Jack.

" I am not arrogant," said Will.

" Yes, you are. You've been acting superior to me all evening."

" That is not arrogance. That's scientific fact."

Will sighed and put down his knife and fork. " Besides, we had a great date. You know, We--we laughed-- He should have called me."

" You see? There it is again," said Jack, stamping his foot on the floor suddenly, and making Will confused. " And what's behind that arrogance? A layer of fat, then fear. Fear, rolled in fat, wrapped in arrogance."

" I am not arrogant, and I am not afraid," Will said, irritably.

" Then why don't you call him? Could it be fear of rejection? Of--of starting over? Of opening yourself up to someone else?" asked Jack.

Jack stopped as Will just sort of stared off blankly.

" What?" he asked him.

" I think you may have a point," said Will.

Jack blinked. " For real?" he asked in surprise.

" In spite of your trying to help, Jack, you've actually... helped," Will said, shrugging. " I want you to know I appreciate how much you care."

" Aw, well, that's OK," Jack said, putting his hand on top of Will's. " And I do care, you know."

" I know," Will said, smiling gently. " Hey, do you think maybe I should call Charlie and ask him out again?"

Jack drew his hand back quickly and frowned.

" What?" asked Will.

" It's just... That's not a very nice thing too ask someone you're on a date with," sniffed Jack.

" ...Even on a fake date?"

" This isn't a fake date!" snapped Jack. " It's a real date."

" No it isn't!"

" Yes it is! Now apologise."

" No! What for? I didn't do anything wrong."

A guy sitting at the table next to them suddenly leaned over. " Excuse me," he began. " Would you just apologise to your boyfriend so we can all get some peace?"

" He's not my boyfriend," Will said to him.

" Whatever you say," the guy said, turning back to his table.

Will shook his head in annoyance, and then he noticed that Jack was grinning.

" What? Why are you so happy?" he asked.

" Oh nothing," Jack said, still grinning. " You're just a little dense, OK?"

" Why? What's going on?"

" Oh, it doesn't matter. I'll tell you later."

A little while later they had finished dinner and were ready to leave.

" So if I was on a date, what would I go now?" Will asked, as they walked out of the door and waited for the taxi to come.

" You'd kiss him good night," said Jack, grinning again.

" I am not going to kiss you."

" Oh go on, why not? I want to kiss you."

" What?! How much did you drink?"

" Not much."

" ..."

" OK, a lot."

" I knew it. You must be really, really drunk."

" Hey! If I was really, really drunk, I wouldn't be... conscious."

" Well, that's true..."

" Come on, kiss me!" said Jack, almost jumping up and down.

" Oh alright, as long as you stop doing that, because frankly, it's a little annoying..."

Jack nodded and smiled. " So come on then, what are you waiting for?"

Will leaned in slowly, and Jack did the same. Their eyes fluttered shut as their lips brushed against each other's, softly.

Will broke the kiss after a couple of seconds and Jack glanced away, looking almost shy.

" Hmm, yeah, that was a good kiss, but if you want to keep them interested you have to kiss them like this," Jack said quickly, grabbing Will by the collar and pressing their mouths together again.

Jack kissed him deeply, his tongue exploring his mouth, and causing Will too sigh into his mouth.

When jack pulled back, about a minuet later, Will looked sort of dazed.

" A-- yea-- wow," stuttered Will. " You're good at that."

" Yes, I know, I've been told," Jack said smugly. " Now come on, let's go back to your place and I'll show just how a blind date is suppose to end."

The end.

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