Games changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop…
That was always the worst part. The lowest moment, the cruellest sound.
The deadening thud that ran throughout the length of her body, so quiet, yet loud enough to stir her soul from its slumber. She never hated any part of her body as much as her arm when it sloshed down onto the space next to her in her bed.
That empty space.
Wearily, she sat up, draped her legs over the side and curled her toes into the soft fabric of the carpet below. She roughly lifted the red hair from her face and looked about the lonely room.
The moon, still high, cast it’s sombre light throughout the still space.
It was quiet.
She couldn’t hear him anymore.
I believe that faith, has brought us
here
But we’re not.
Cold water on her face often helped, but there was an obstacle. She would have to walk past the closets to get to it. She had never made it there without stopping.
Tonight would be no different.
She opened the door and removed one of his sweaters, bringing it to her face drinking in his lost scent.
These would have to go soon, but to where?
No one else in the family would want them, for he was dear to so many… They would never dream of it; wearing his things? Never.
Charity. There were plenty of people who could still benefit from him.
Gone, but he keeps on giving.
I play it off but I’m dreaming of you
And I’ll keep my cool but I’m
Feeling—
Face cooled, sweater returned, she made her way downstairs. Something chocolate was required.
Three steps from the bottom, she stopped, and remembered… She needed to be quiet.
Much lighter steps took her down the hallway that ended in two destinations: The kitchen and the living room.
It was here she saw one of the few things that gave her pleasure anymore.
There were plenty of rooms available in the main house, yet he had politely insisted on sleeping on her couch.
Aside from her memories, he was all she had left of him.
The single sheet he used, was astrew. As she carefully pulled it off him to correct it, another smile came to her lips. A memory of doing this many times before when he was a boy… in the future. She kissed him on the top of his head and a child-like “Thanks Red.” Escaped his lips with a sleepy sigh. He was still asleep, yet visiting the same memory she had been pondering.
She never made it to the doorway.
“Jean?”
“I didn’t mean to wake you. Your covers…”
He rubbed a sleepy eye, the one that was real, and looked down at himself, then back up at her with the beginnings of a smirk.
She shrugged.
“Old habits die hard.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“Not for me… not even two years yet.”
He smiled to himself, then sat up.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Nathan. Just a case of the munchies.”
“You’re trying to lie to a telepath?”
She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head.
“That’s not fair.”
“Never said I played fair.”
She sat at the opposite end of the couch.
“You’re thinking of him.”
“I can’t seem to get past this. This point in time. I’m still numb, but I hurt.” She lowered her head. “I haven’t even cried yet… not really. And I’m afraid of the time when I will… if it will be too much for me to bare.”
“Everything in it’s own time Jean. You—we’re not alone in this…”
She placed a hand on the side of his face. “How do you feel?”
He was pensive for a moment.
“Proud. A little sorrow, I know more will come later. But now… just proud… that he was my father.” Nathan cast his eyes downward. “ I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to be his friend. I was only just getting to know him—to really know him as a person.”
“To know him, you only need to look at yourself. At your core, you are so like him, it’s uncanny.” She placed her hand on his. “And he was unbearably proud of you too.”
Nathan wrapped his arms around the only woman he had known as his mother. She did like wise to the man who in her heart would always be her son.
“How is it possible for somebody to miss someone so much, and still survive?” She whispered. “I can’t say goodbye… I try, but…”
“…You will. We both will… when it’s time.”
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
The End
To Cyclops. We all know he’ll be back someday, but in the meantime, he’ll be
missed…
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