He’d known plenty.He’d had plenty.They were no strangers to him.
Just the same, he wished they’d leave him alone.Give him one moment of earthly peace before his trek into the eternal one.
The room was dark.
Once upon a time, that wouldn’t have mattered to him. Night used to be as bright to him as daylight.
That was before.
Now, he could only barely make out the dull shapes of the cheep dresser and the smelly chair in the corner.
He supposed that was one concession.Had this night been four months earlier, he wouldn’t have been able to stay in that room with that smelly piece of furniture.If it was this pungent now that his scenes were… normal…
He took a deep breath then clenched tightly to the sheets as another wave of pain wracked his ailing body.It eased after a few moments but like the others, never disappeared completely.
He could only remember feeling pain like this once.When a man, twisted in his own beliefs, ripped his unbreakable metal, his adamantium, from his body, bleeding it through every pore.
Ironically, had he never been re-bonded with the substance, he wouldn’t be in his current situation.
Since the High Evolutionary, yet another megalomaniac convinced of his superior ideals, reverted all mutants to their genetically human state, Logan had been slowly dying of adamantium poisoning.A layer of metal glued to his skeleton was no picnic when he was a mutant, but at least then he had his advanced healing power to counteract the effects he was now suffering.
And this was the end.
He’d never been one to fret about death, but in truth, he had always pictured meeting his end in a more… memorable setting… in a battle, defending an innocent, righting a wrong…But no, he was here in a cheep Motel 14 waiting for the final angel, if there so be one, to pay him a visit.And he could live with that, for whatever limited time he had left.
His mind suddenly flickered back to his friends… his family.They’d be looking for him.They’d be worried.
He hadn’t seen any of them in over two months.The last was little Jubilee.He was going to miss that kid.He wondered if she had any idea how proud he was of her?
After finishing what business he needed to, Logan had made his way north.He was intending to go to Canada, find some deep unexplored forest, and return himself to the earth.Someday, years from now, someone would have discovered the skeleton of a man, covered in metal and wonder who he was.Or maybe they’d already know.It didn’t matter now anyway.He hadn’t made it that far.Now some coroner in Buffalo was going to have to deal with him when the management and guests started noticing a particular new odour coming from room three.The room was paid for, for ten days.He doubted he had that long.He had been there three already, and today, he had only been able to get out of the bed once.
The door to the room seemed to open and flooded his sensitive eyes with a bright white light.The silhouette of a woman appeared in its centre.
“Logan?”A soft voice said.A voice he’d heard in his dreams for years.
“Jean?”
She stepped forward and closed the door.The light was gone, but he could still see her clearly, the look of despair on her face pained him greatly.
“Logan, come home.”
“I can’t Jeanie.”
“Please, for me?”She held her folded hands over her heart and shook her head.“I—I’ve just lost Scott, I can’t loose you too!It’s too much, it’s too soon.”
“You’ll get by, darlin’.You’re tougher than ya think.‘Sides ain’t like I got much choice in the matter.I can barely move.”
“There’s a phone there.Call us.We’ll come and get you, you know we will.”
“It’s easier this way.Outta sight, outta mind.Watchin’ someone die slow ain’t pretty.”
“Isn’t that our choice?”She said, and then disappeared, and the room was in darkness once more.
He sighed.Another hallucination.
At least this time it wasn’t…
The door flew open again and a much larger figure stood in its frame, so much so that he had to duck as he entered, laughing wickedly.
“Look at’cha, Runt!Pathetic!Even by your standards!”
“Get the fuck outta here!”
“What?No kiss hello?”He flipped over the dresser sending it crashing into the far wall.“Come’on!You an’ me!One last time!”He taunted.
“We already had our last time Creed,” Logan snarled.“AND I WON!”
“If ya won, then why am I here?”
“You ain’t here.I killed you.Yer dead.”
“You so sure?We’ve gone that route before, ‘member?I always come back.”
“Not this time.Only thing yer comin’ back as is lion shit at the Cincinnati Zoo.That’s what I did with what was left of yer body!”
“Maybe.Or maybe you just imagined you did?Maybe, after yer gone, I’m gonna feed you to the lions.Then I’m gonna go after everyone you care about!All them frails you always got hanging around you.Course, I’ll take my time with ‘em.No sense in waistin’ good meat.”
“You keep the fuck away from them!”
“Who’s gonna stop me?You’re dyin’, old man.Ain’ nuthin’ and no one standin’ ‘tween me and them anymore.Once yer gone, I’m gonna slaughter everyone that ever meant anythin’ to you.Amiko, Jubilee, Pryde… Figure I’d start with the small ones an’ work my way up.”
Logan let out a loud fearsome growl that was partially from his anger and partially from the new batch of pain that sprung up at his trying to get off the bed to vent his frustrations in his enemy’s direction.All he managed was to tear himself from the bed and land stomach first on the floor with an unceremonious thud.He tried to push himself up with Sabretooth’s taunting laugh in his ears.
“Ha!Whatcha gonna do Logan?”
“Logan?”
He managed to turn his head to the side.There was a new silhouette standing in the doorway.A woman’s. One he could identify by the tint of her long hair.
“Or, maybe I’ll just start with this one.” He heard Creed say from behind him.
In a last fit of anger, Logan tried getting to his feet.But the surge of pain was too much, and all he knew of darkness and the sound of Victor’s laugh accompanied by a gut wrenching female scream.
Hours… days… passed.He didn’t know which.All he knew was that it was quiet again.
The hallucinations with Creed were always the worst.He wondered for a moment if he were all ready dead and the tauntings were his hell-sent punishment.Naw… even hell couldn’t hurt this much.
He wondered how much of that nightmare was real.It took him a moment to realize that he was on his back. He wasn’t on the floor, but laying on something that passed for a soft mattress.Lumpy would have been a better word.And he wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn that there was someone in the room with him.
‘Damn, it’s startin’ again.’ He thought, anticipating his latest round of mirages.
He almost jumped out of his skin when something cold and wet was draped suddenly over his forehead.
Despite the pain of it, he forced his eyelids open.It was still too dark; he couldn’t see the face figure that was gently touching him on the side of his face.
“Who...?” He managed to get out in a raspy voice.
The figure left him for a moment, walking in the direction of the washroom.It returned seconds later and heard what sounded like the draping of something over the ugly lampshade of the light next to his bed.
The light clicked on, much dimmer than it would have been had there not now been a towel laying over it.
He squinted immediately none the less, then blinked several times to adjust his vision and adapt to the light.The blurred face began to materialize.
“Storm?”He asked.
She nodded and answered ‘yes’ as she sat down on the bed beside him.
He had a flash of his most resent hallucination.A woman standing in the doorway.The tint of long silvery hair in the light.But the light was different behind her.Duller, not as blinding.Could it be?
“You really here?Or am I dreamin’ again?”
She leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the mouth.
“I am really here.”
“Creed?”
“Creed?”
“How didja get away?”
“Logan, Sabretooth is not here.I have not seen him in months.”
“…Oh.”
“You thought you saw him?Well, that would explain why you were in such a rage when I got here… before you blacked out that is.You may be somewhat shorter than me, but you metal makes you extremely heavy.I had quite the time getting you back onto the bed.”
He couldn’t help a wicked little smile.“Don’t usually give women that much trouble when they’re tryin’ t’get me inta bed.”
Ororo rolled her eyes.
“How’d you find me?”
“It took some doing.But I can always find you when I need to.You know that.”
“Yeah.Why’d you find me?The others here too?”
“No.I came alone.They know I went looking for you though.Why I found you… that should be obvious.Someone had to be here.”
“I ain’t goin’ back darlin’.Much as I’d like to.I ain’t.”
“I know that.” She said softly, smoothing his hair back.
“You have your pride.You want them to remember you as you were, not as you are now.”
“That goes for you too, ‘Ro.”
Storm paused then her face took on a grim seriousness.
“Nothing I see here, nothing I hear, nothing I read, nothing I am told, could ever lessen the man that I know you to be.Not in my eyes.You are the best, and you will always continue to be so.You will be remembered as such.I will make sure of that.”
“Don’t want ya here, darlin’.For yer own sake.I’m puttin’ on as much of a face as I can, but ya don’t know what it’s like watchin’ someone ya care about die, and die slow.”
“…Yes, I do.”
Suddenly Logan felt like a fool.Of course she did.She was buried alive with her parents and watched her mother bleed to death over a period of days.She was only six then.And here, twenty years later, she was willing to go through that again… for him.No.He wouldn’t let that happen.
“All the more reason, you shouldn’t be here.”
“Logan…”
“Go.”
“Make me.”
He growled.It didn’t frighten her in the least.It hadn’t for many, many years now.
“I am not going anywhere, Logan.You know me.Once I have made up my mind about something…”
“You give a mule a run for its money.”
“Precisely.”
He sighed out of frustration and closed his eyes.She removed the damp cloth from his head.
“Storm… we all die alone.” He said after a few minutes of silence.
Storm changed positions.She sat with her back against the headrest then pulled Logan’s pillow and head onto her lap.
“We cross the river alone, Logan.” She said finally.“But it is not forbidden for a person to wave from the shoreline.Besides,” she said flicking off the light once more. “You need me here.One needs to face death with a clear mind and a knowledge of who he is.From what you have told me, your visions of Creed, you need an anchor.Someone to let you know what is real.Otherwise, a soul could be lost.”
“Who says I got one?”
“I ‘says’.”
They were quiet then for several minutes.All Storm could hear was his laboured breathing.
“I killed ‘im.”
“What?”
“I killed Sabretooth.”
“…When?”
“‘Bout a month back.”
“…Final revenge?”
“Naw.Final protection.Knew I was dyin’.Ain’t no way I was gonna leave him around to mess with the folks I care about once I’m gone.”
“I see.”
“Angry.”
“…No.I understand, your reasoning.”
“But you don’t approve of ‘em.”
Ororo sighed.“I do not know.I find myself thinking that if I were in your place…” She trailed off.
“Uh-uh.Yer too good fer that darlin’.”
“Who says?”
“I ‘says’.”
“I cannot believe I am asking this, but… are you sure?I mean… you have tried before…”
“I’m sure.He’s—He was human.No healin’ factor.Sides, ain’t no way he could’a pulled himself back from the number o pieces I cut him up in.An’ Sinister couldn’t clone ‘im anymore that he could me.The healin’ factor wouldn’t let it.”
“Oh.”
“Done what I needed t’do.If I burn for it, so be it.”
“I prefer to believe that we are judged on our hearts and our souls.Not for whatever actions we may not be too proud of.”
“If ya say so darlin’.”He said quietly.He sounded very tired.His mouth hardly moved when he talked.
“Rest now.”Ororo said.
“Still think you should go.”
Ororo reached out and took his hand in hers.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Mmm.”Was his only response, but she knew it was a comforted one.
The night did not pass kindly.
Logan’s demons returned to torment him.He would slash about trying to fight some invisible enemy.Ororo would hold him down as best as she could, less he hurt himself, but she was not always free from receiving one of those strikes.Had he not been in such a weakened state, she doubted that she would have been able to regain control of him, not to mention staying conscious from the few times he had caught her in the head.Weakened or not, his was still formidable, and she would have several bruises to show for it.
The other ghosts, the ones of people whom he would never wish to harm, proved no less a disturbance to him.He apologized profusely for things he might have done better, said better, to change mistakes he thought he had made.He apologized to Cyclops for letting him die, and Mariko for the same reason, as though they were accusing him, and that their deaths were on his hands.He apologized to Jubilee, Kitty and Amiko for abandoning them.He even apologized to Ororo for taking off so often instead of remaining with her team to lend her the support she needed.Each apology sounded as though he were responding to an accusation by the spirits.Each time, Ororo, with some effort, managed to talk him back.To let him know that he had always done the best that he could… more than was expected, and that they were all lucky to have known him.
And in her mind, she cursed the poison that was seeping into his brain.
As dawn approached, the spirits quieted.
It was silent save for the few morning birds and Logan’s ever labouring breathing.His body trembled with the effort.
For the first time that night, she unconsciously sought some comfort for herself.She tried moving her hand, which was still clasping his and was forced to bite her bottom lip to remain silent.She was certain that she had at least a hairline fracture in at least two of the bones in her hand.Some of his spasms had cause Logan to grip her hand much harder than he normally would have.She didn’t tell him.She knew he would never intentionally hurt anyone on the team, least of all her.
She looked at her fingers.She was still able to move them.Not too bad then.
Logan took in a painful sounding breath and his chest continued to shakily rise and fall.In the early morning rays through the thick dark drapes she could see that his eyes were open in slits, but she doubted he was actually seeing anything.
She felt a slight pressure on her injured hand.His trembling increased with each breath.It was as though he had fallen through some ice and his body was trying to warm itself.She was not a telepath or even an empath.But his suffering was so thick, it filled the air in the room.
He was still fighting.She knew that he would.Logan was a fighter.Even when he knew he couldn’t win.
Against an external opponent, he could find control.But fighting himself… She knew had he had never learned where to draw the line.
He didn’t know how to stop.
And in her heart she knew that was the real reason she had come after him.
Ororo bit her lip again, but this time it wasn’t due to any pain from her hand.It was from the pain tearing at her heart.
She gently ran her hand across his forehead.He lifted his chin slightly, in acknowledgement that he at least knew someone, even if he no longer recognized whom, was with him.He wasn’t alone.
She gently brushed her lips against his then squeezed his hand as tightly as she could manage.
“Let go.”She whispered in his ear.
Not long afterwards, Logan took a jagged breath in.He released it after a pause…
And never breathed again.
The End.