Copyright 2006 by Matthew E. Roberts

I’ve lost my sense of purpose, livelihood, and Joy.
I thought it was something that none could destroy.
There will be no more Chris Farley impersonations
And I won’t soon travel to some special destinations.
There will be no more emails to type
Or looking forward to chats on Skype.
If only some memories would leave my head,
Of feeling Joy as we lay sleeping in bed.
Of hearing her groan when I told lame jokes,
Or the scent of Happy on her hair that I stroked.
I had searched for this woman since the year 1999,
And really felt alive when she wanted to be mine.
She made me want to stay even when things didn’t seem right.
We had always made up even after some horrible fights.
Had she initiated some things at the time I last saw her,
We’d nearly be set to live happily ever after.
But, when it never happened I should have known
We were no closer to unity and have since grown.
Being apart we could only take so much,
Over time we simply grew out of touch.
I tried to warn her of what was happening,
But those things seemed beyond stopping.
Now it seems I’ve lost all hope,
I’ve got to find a way to cope.
No more listening to Marc Anthony songs,
My copy of Shrek II is now long gone.
Personal photos have been carefully put away,
Maybe I’ll be able to look at them again someday.
Still, I can’t avoid seeing signs of her every day,
She’s even on the hats my boys wear when they play.
As I strum my blue acoustic guitar,
I recall buying it when she was there.
Nevertheless, those days are now over.
Maybe she never intended to “C’mon over”.
It really doesn’t matter as it has come to an end
But I can’t help but feel disillusioned.
I can’t say I’ll ever forget what we've been through,
But life goes on and there’s not much I can do.
I’m sure a day will come when I no longer feel pain,
And, maybe she's right, it will all be for our gain.
I’ve lost my Joy but I also think it will be perfectly ok.
Hope for better luck when I restart the search someday.