How Apuleius carried
away the Gentlewoman, and how they were taken againe by the theeves, and
what a kind of death was invented for them.
By and by the theeves came home laden
with treasure, and many of them which were of strongest courage (leaving
behind such as were lame and wounded, to heale and aire themselves) said they
would returne backe againe to fetch the rest of their pillage, which they had
hidden in a certaine cave, and so they snatched up their dinner greedily, and
brought us forth into the way and beate us before them with staves. About
night (after that we had passed over many hilles and dales) we came to a great
cave, where they laded us with mighty burthens, and would not suffer us to
refresh our selves any season but brought us againe in our way, and hied so
fast homeward, that what with their haste and their cruell stripes, I fell
downe upon a stone by the way side, then they beat me pittifully in lifting me
up, and hurt my right thigh and my left hoofe, and one of them said, What
shall we do with this lame Ill favoured Asse, that is not worth the meate he
eats? And other said, Since the time that we had him first he never did any
good, and I thinke he came unto our house with evill lucke, for we have had
great wounds since and losse of our valiant captaines, and other said, As
soone as he hath brought home his burthen, I will surely throw him out upon
the mountaine to be a pray for wild beasts: While these gentlemen reasoned
together of my death, we fortuned to come home, for the feare that I was in,
caused my feet to turne into wings: after that we were discharged of our
burthen, they went to their fellowes that were wounded, and told them of our
great tardity and slownesse by the way, neither was I brought into small
anguish when I perceived my death prepared before my face: Why standest thou
still Lucius? Why dost thou not looke for thy death? Knowst thou not that the
theeves have ordained to slay thee? seest thou not these sharpe and pointed
flints which shall bruise and teare thee in peeces, if by adventure thou
happen upon them? Thy gentle Magitian hath not onely given thee the shape and
travell of an Asse, but also a skinne so soft and tender as it were a swallow:
why dost thou not take courage and runne away to save thy selfe? Art thou
afraid of the old woman more than halfe dead, whom with a stripe of thy heele
thou maist easily dispatch? But whither shall I fly? What lodging shall I
seek? See my Assy cogitation. Who is he that passeth by the way and will not
take me up? While I devised these things, I brake the halter wherewith I was
tyed and ran away with all my force, howbeit I could not escape the kitish
eyes of the old woman, for shee ran after me, and with more audacity then
becommeth her kind age, caught me by the halter and thought to pull me home:
but I not forgetting the cruell purpose of the theeves, was mooved with small
pity, for I kicked her with my hinder heeles to the ground and had welnigh
slaine her, who (although shee was throwne and hurled downe) yet she held
still the halter, and would not let me goe; then shee cryed with a loud voyce
and called for succour, but she little prevayled, because there was no person
that heard her, save onely the captive gentlewoman, who hearing the voice of
the old woman, came out to see what the matter was, and perceiving her hanging
at the halter, tooke a good courage and wrested it out of her hand, and
(entreating me with gentle words) got upon my backe. Then I began to runne,
and shee gently kicked mee forward, whereof I was nothing displeased, for I
had as great a desire to escape as shee: insomuch that I seemed to scowre away
like a horse. And when the Gentlewoman did speake, I would answere her with my
neighing, and oftentimes (under colour to rub my backe) I would sweetly kisse
her tender feet. Then shee fetching a sigh from the bottome of her heart,
lifted up her eyes to the heavens, saying: O soveraigne Gods, deliver mee if
it be your pleasure, from these present dangers: and thou cruell fortune cease
thy wrath, let the sorrow suffice thee which I have already sustained. And
thou little Asse, that art the occasion of my safety and liberty, if thou
canst once render me safe and sound to my parents, and to him that so greatly
desireth to have mee to be his wife, thou shalt see what thankes I will give:
with what honour I will reward thee, and how I will use thee. First I will
bravely dresse the haires of thy forehead, and then I will finely combe thy
maine, I will tye up thy rugged tayle trimly, I will decke thee round about
with golden trappes, in such sort that thou shalt glitter like the starres of
the skie, I will bring thee daily in my apron the kirnels of nuts, and will
pamper thee up with delicates; I will set store by thee, as by one that is the
preserver of my life: Finally, thou shalt lack no manner of thing. Moreover
amongst thy glorious fare, thy great ease, and the blisse of thy life, thou
shalt not be destitute of dignity, for thou shalt be chronicled perpetually in
memory of my present fortune, and the providence divine. All the whole history
shall be painted upon the wall of our house, thou shalt be renowned throughout
all the world. And it shall be registred in the bookes of Doctours, that an
Asse saved the life of a young maiden that was captive amongst Theeves: Thou
shalt be numbred amongst the ancient miracles: wee beleeve that by like
example of truth Phryxus saved himselfe from drowning upon the Ram, Arion
escaped upon a Dolphin, and that Europa was delivered by the Bull. If Jupiter
transformed himselfe into a Bull, why may it not be that under the shape of
this Asse, is hidden the figure of a man, or some power divine? While that the
Virgin did thus sorrowfully unfold her desires, we fortuned to come to a place
where three wayes did meet, and shee tooke me by the halter, and would have me
turne on the right hand to her fathers house: but I (knowing that the theeves
were gone that way to fetch the residue of their pillage) resisted with my
head as much as I might, saying within my selfe: What wilt thou doe unhappy
maiden? Why wouldst thou goe so willingly to hell? Why wilt thou runne into
destruction by meane of my feet? Why dost thou seek thine own harme, and mine
likewise? And while we strived together whether way we might take, the theeves
returned, laiden with their pray, and perceived us a farre off by the light of
the Moon: and after they had known us, one of them gan say, Whither goe you so
hastely? Be you not afraid of spirits? And you (you harlot) doe you not goe to
see your parents? Come on, we will beare you company? And therewithall they
tooke me by the halter, and drave me backe againe, beating me cruelly with a
great staffe (that they had) full of knobs: then I returning againe to my
ready destruction, and remembering the griefe of my hoofe, began to shake my
head, and to waxe lame, but he that led me by the halter said, What, dost thou
stumble? Canst thou not goe? These rotten old feet of thine ran well enough,
but they cannot walke: thou couldest mince it finely even now with the
gentlewoman, that thou seemedst to passe the horse Pegasus in swiftnesse. In
saying of these words they beat mee againe, that they broke a great staffe
upon mee. And when we were come almost home, we saw the old woman hanging upon
a bow of a Cipresse tree; then one of them cut downe the bowe whereon shee
hanged, and cast her into the bottome of a great ditch: after this they bound
the maiden and fell greedily to their victuals, which the miserable old woman
had prepared for them. At which time they began to devise with themselves of
our death, and how they might be revenged; divers was the opinions of this
divers number: the first said, that hee thought best the Mayd should be burned
alive: the second said she should be throwne out to wild beasts: the third
said, she should be hanged upon a gibbet: the fourth said she should be flead
alive: thus was the death of a poore Maiden scanned betweene them foure. But
one of the theeves after every man had declared his judgement, did speake in
this manner: It is not convenient unto the oath of our company, to suffer you
to waxe more cruell than the quality of the offence doth merit, for I would
that shee should not be hanged nor burned, nor throwne to beasts, nor dye any
sodaine death, but by my council I would have her punished according to her
desert. You know well what you have determined already of this dull Asse, that
eateth more than he is worth, that
faineth [*] lamenesse,
and that was the cause of the flying away of the Maid: my mind is that he
shall be slaine to morrow, and when all the guts and entrailes of his body is
taken out, let the Maide be sowne into his belly, then let us lay them upon a
great stone against the broiling heate of the Sunne, so they shall both
sustaine all the punishments which you have ordained: for first the Asse shall
be slaine as you have determined, and she shall have her members torne and
gnawne with wild beasts, when as she is bitten and rent with wormes, shee
shall endure the paine of the fire, when as the broyling heat of the Sunne
shall scortch and parch the belly of the Asse, shee shall abide the gallows
when the Dogs and Vultures shall have the guts of her body hanging in their
ravenous mouthes. I pray you number all the torments which she shall suffer:
First shee shall dwell within the paunch of an Asse: secondly her nosethrilles
shall receive a certaine stinke of the beast: thirdly shee shall dye for
hunger: last of all, shee shall finde no meane to ridde her selfe from her
paines, for her hand [sic] shall be sowen up within the skinne of the Asse:
This being said, all the Theeves consented, and when I (poore Asse) heard and
understood all their device, I did nothing else but lament and bewayle my dead
carkasse, which should be handled in such sort on the next morrow.