“So when do I get to meet the lucky lady, Brian?” I asked a little while later. Brian and I sat alone in the restaurant after all the other guys had parted ways.
“She’s home in Georgia right now visiting family but she’ll be back next week. She’s taking all the really well considering,” he answered.
“You mean considering she’s suppose to be planning the happiest day of her life while being threatened,” I clarified, watching his face for his reaction.
He looked down at the table and nodded before looking up again. “I hate this, Ryder. I hate having to hire someone to protect me against people who have no idea who I really am. They talk about loving me, about wanting to marry me, about knowing my heart and my soul and wanting me to be happy. Then I find the personal that does love me, who does want to marry me and knows me and makes me happy and they turn on her. How can they do that?” he asked me, staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes.
“It’s the way the mind words, Brian. We spend out whole lives searching for what you and Leighanne have and if we don’t find it we settle for second best. That’s believing we love people we know just enough about to fool ourselves. Loneliness, fear, whatever the cause that’s how it works. It sucks, I know, but remember you agreed to it when you became a Backstreet Boy.”
I hated to tell him that, hated to point out something I knew he had heard too many times, but it was the true. He had agreed to this life when he signed his contract years ago. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, but it was the deal.
“Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I told Kevin no when he called,” Brian said, quietly.
“Quieter, but maybe you would have never met Leigh or Nick or Howie or even A.J. Remember you have to give up things to get things no matter what path you take. Everyone wonders that though. Sometimes I wonder if I would be married, barefoot in the kitchen with five kids,” I teased.
He was silent for a moment before answering. “Six kids,” he corrected, flashing that big goofy grin.
“I don’t know. I think five is plenty,” I laughed.
“No, you need an even number.”
“I’ll make you a deal. You go through the pain of labor once and then tell me what’s better, five or six. Deal?”
“On second thought odd numbers are good too. Kevin is one of three after all.”
We laughed together, then slowly I let my laughter die. “Brian, we need to talk seriously now. We need to talk about how this is going to work.”
“What do you mean? I thought we had this figured out, Ryder,” he answered.
“I take what I do very seriously, Brian. This isn’t just a job for me, it’s my life. If I’m going to promise to risk my life for you I have to know that you’ll listen to me. No matter what I say I have to know you’ll listen or I’m wasting my time.”
“I’m giving my life to you, Ryder. I put myself in your hands. I’ll do whatever you think is best. I’ll follow you anywhere.”
Oh why did he have to say it like that?
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