Chapter 37
March 9, 2007
"Aaron-we need to talk." Kevin's voice was gentle but firm. Aaron looked up. Daddy meant business. He took Kevin's hand and they walked outside to the backyard. The morning was mild and they could be alone for a few minutes out here. Kevin wanted to get this over with before the party started. He walked over to the swing set and sat down on one of the swings. Aaron took the other.
"I know you're mad at me son, and I think I know why," Kevin began. "But why don't you tell me anyway-so that I can be sure we're both talking about the same thing."
Aaron looked up at his father and then down at his feet. He kicked at the wet sand beneath the swing. "You made Rachel cry," he whispered.
"What!" That was the last thing Kevin had expected to hear.
"You brought that lady to the TV show and then you made Rachel cry," he insisted, looking up into Kevin's eyes.
"Okay, Aaron. Why don't you tell me about that night-right from the beginning." Kevin hesitated. "But before you do-I want to tell you that that lady isn't ever going to come here. I had a date with her once or twice, but not any more." He reached over and pulled the swing around so that Aaron was facing him. "Cross my heart. Okay?" Aaron nodded and sniffled. "Okay. Now tell me what happened..."
* * *
Aaron's birthday party was over. Games. Presents. Birthday cake. All finished. The cousins had departed and the clean-up was done. Aaron was exhausted. Kevin had carried him up to bed and he had been asleep before the quilt was tucked around him. When he returned to the kitchen, Rachel was just finishing up the dishes.
She looked up as he came in. "Coffee?" she asked.
He shook his head. "I'm still trying to get the noise level in my head back down. I don't need any caffeine." He looked at her and grinned. "Are all the birthday parties that loud?"
Rachel chuckled. "The summer ones are a little better. But only because they're all outside."
Kevin nodded. "That's good to know." He hesitated. He really wanted to talk, but it was late and he needed to work out. He wasn't going to go through a repeat of last night's dream. "Jemma's waiting for you to tuck her in," he finally said. "I read her a story, so she's all set-just wants to say good night."
"Okay-I'm finished here, so I'll go right up." Rachel paused. "I think I'll turn in too-unless you want anything else...?"
"No-I'm gonna go downstairs and work out for a while. Try to unjangle my nerves," he grinned. "I'll see you in the morning." He turned and headed for the basement.
Rachel watched him as he left. He's wound tighter than a spring, she thought. And it's not because of the birthday party.
* * *
The hour he had spent with the weights hadn't exhausted him-it had only gotten him more agitated. Visions of their one night together kept playing through his mind on a perpetual loop. So after his shower he took his heart in his hand and walked slowly down the hallway. He had to know.
"Rachel?" It was a whisper. Then she felt his fingers on her arm. Hesitant. Tentative. She opened her eyes and found him kneeling next to her bed. His hair was still damp from the shower and he was ready for bed. He must have been checking on Jemma and Aaron she thought sleepily. Checking on Jemma and Aaron...?
"Kevin?!" She sat up. "Are the kids all right?"
"Yeah, they're fine," he said quietly. "Sound asleep."
"Then why are you-here?" she asked in confusion.
"Isn't this where everybody goes when they're scared?" Kevin replied hesitantly.
"What are you scared of?" Rachel whispered.
"I'm scared that my feelings have gone someplace where they're not wanted." He looked away. "And I don't know what to do about it."
She touched his arm gently. "Where have they gone, Kev?"
He looked up again into her eyes. "Here with you."
"And why do you think they're not wanted?" she asked softly.
"Because I haven't been able to touch you to know what you're feeling." He took a deep breath. "I love you, Rachel. I've had enough of 'making sure'. I am sure. I want us. But I don't know what you want."
"And Kristin?" Rachel said. "What about those feelings?"
"I-I don't know. But I don't want to lose you. I don't want to wait anymore." His eyes pleaded with her. "I know I'm breaking the rules. But I've tried to do what you asked. I've looked and I didn't find anyone who even comes close to making me feel the way you do. Please, Rachel."
Rachel hesitated, looking into his eyes. She had heard him in the grip of the nightmare last night. Every bit of her training said that this was a mistake. He wasn't through it yet, and it was heading for a crisis-soon. But he was here, begging for help. She loved him-she couldn't send him away. She reached out and combed his hair out of his eyes with her fingers and then pulled back the covers. "Lock the door, Kevin," she said softly. "If you're sure how you feel, then lock the door and touch me."
He got up and turned the lock on the door, then came back and crawled into the bed, dropping his robe on the floor. He took her in his arms. She was so warm and she smelled of soap and a lingering trace of her perfume. Kevin ran his fingers gently over her hair and his lips trailed from the top of her ear to her jaw just in front of her earlobe. "Rachel-honey. I've missed you," he murmured. "Did you miss me?"
"No, not at all," she breathed. She turned so that her lips met his and he pulled her to him as the kiss deepened. His hand slid down to her breast making her moan softly and arch toward him.
"You're a liar, Rachel Daniels," he whispered as he slid his hands under her nightshirt and pushed it up and over her head. He tossed it to the floor.
"So sue me," she gasped as his mouth found her breast and feathered kisses closer and closer to the nipple.
"Ummm...I don't think so," Kevin murmured as his tongue caressed first one and then the other nipple. "I like this better." He lost himself in the sensations, in the touch, taste and scent of her body.
She was writhing and moaning under his hands, when the fear grabbed him. His body was going to betray him again. He wanted her so badly, he loved her so much, and he wasn't going to be able to-. Maybe if I hurry. That's not fair to her, Kev. I know-but what else can I do? He pushed her legs apart with his knee and shifted on top of her.
Rachel was gasping for breath, but she still had a firm hold on the situation. "Wait, Kevin," she breathed. "Please-there's a condom in the drawer."
Kevin didn't want to tear himself away from her because suddenly, he felt like he could make love to her all night. But in the back of his head was a voice that said that this sudden feeling had something to do with what she was asking. He thought back to New Year's Eve. There hadn't been any condoms available that night and he couldn't-. Maybe that was why. He rolled away from her and fumbled in the night table drawer.
When he rolled back to her, Rachel took the packet from him with a smile. She pushed him onto his back and straddled his legs. He stared up at her and groaned as she stroked him with one hand and opened the packet using her other hand and her teeth. Once it was open, she bent down and caressed him with her mouth. "My turn this time," she whispered. His eyes closed and his breathing deepened as her lips wrapped around him and her teeth scraped his length. Her tongue slid over his tip and teased him gently at the slit. His hips automatically thrust upwards. She pulled away and rolled the condom onto him.
She was definitely in charge now. Kevin reached up to caress her breasts again, and she smiled down at him. "You like those?" she whispered. "You know-you shouldn't touch unless you're planning on tasting." His nostrils flared as he breathed in.
"Then I guess you better let me taste," he whispered back. "Cause I'm not gonna stop touching. She leaned over, bringing her breasts inches from his mouth.
"That what you want?" she grinned. "Come on Kev-make me feel good."
"What do I get if I do?" he grinned back. He ran his thumbs over her nipples and felt them harden.
"Mmmm. You get me. And I'll make you feel incredible." Rachel leaned down closer and brushed her swollen nipple against his lips. Kevin opened his mouth and ran his tongue over it. "Oh G-d, Kevin. Yes." She moved up his body slightly and positioned herself above him. His hands slid to her hips and he guided her down onto him.
Rachel gasped as he slowly filled her and she rocked her hips to make sure that he was joined with her completely. His eyes were closed in intense concentration at the feeling of being one with her. She began to gently rock, moving him only slightly in and out. Short gentle strokes. He opened his eyes and gazed into hers. "What do you want, Rachel? Show me what will please you."
In reply she took his hand and placed it on her thigh and covering it with her own she slid it up until his thumb was at her center. "Touch me, Kev. Just like you did when your fingers were inside me." She continued to rock on top of him, but as his thumb applied pressure, the movement became more aggressive. He groaned.
"Uhh, Rachel-you feel so good. Ride me harder baby-please! Rock me honey," he sighed. His hips began to thrust up into her and she met each thrust with her own. They were both gasping for breath and Rachel's head dropped back in surrender. Her hair brushed against his legs and the chills that that feather light caress caused him pushed him further into a passion he hadn't felt for a very long time. His thumb was driving Rachel's need higher and her walls were quivering around him. His other hand trailed up her body, between her breasts and caressed her throat.
"Cum for me, Rachel," he breathed.
Rachel looked down into his eyes. That shadow of fear was still there. Almost gone, but still there. She wasn't going to let go until it was wiped away. She pulled his hand away from her center. He frowned-and then his eyes widened as she brought his hand to her mouth. She licked his thumb, tasting herself, and then sucked the thumb into her mouth. His fingers caressed her cheek as she continued to swirl her tongue around it.
"Jesus, Rachel!" he moaned. "Baby, what are you doing to me?"
She smiled as she released his thumb. "Making you feel incredible-I promised you I would." Her voice came out a low, seductive purr. She leaned down and kissed him, roughly pulling his tongue into her mouth. He moaned again and his hand slid down between them to continue caressing her. Rachel's hands were on his chest, rubbing his nipples and squeezing. She broke the kiss and pulled away to look into his eyes. Her nostrils flared as she rocked her hips and ground down onto him. "And I'm going to take you someplace that you haven't been in a long time," she crooned. Her lips parted and her tongue licked around them. Kevin felt himself swelling and hardening, and tightening. He grasped her hips and held her in place as he pumped up harder and faster.
"Oh-my G-d-Yes!" he groaned. "I'm there-Oh, Rachel! Cum for me, baby!"
"With you," she sobbed.
He felt her orgasm clutching her, clutching him, and he exploded. With a muffled cry she collapsed on top of him and he wrapped his arms around her.
Minutes later, as he pulled away from her and discarded the condom, he silently thanked whatever power had watched over him and pushed him to come to her tonight. He smiled down at her as he picked up his robe. "I don't think it would be a good idea for the kids to find me in here in the morning-at least not just yet. And I know they'll be up before me." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm not leaving because I want to, darlin'." He leaned over and pulled her into a warm, sensual kiss. "But I think I'd better go back to my room. I love you, Rachel."
He unlocked the door and was about to return to his room when Rachel looked up at him and whispered, "Wait-I'll go with you. I'll be awake before the kids and you can sleep in. But we don't have to sleep alone." She got out of the bed and pulled on a robe as she came to him. They walked down the hallway to his room wrapped in each other's arms. They fell asleep the same way.
Chapter 38
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