Chapter 32
January 1, 2007
"OUT!!!"
The bedroom door banged shut and Nick's laughter could be heard as a raucous, tumbling descent of the back stairs began.
Rachel dragged herself from her thoughts and smiled as Nick and Brian practically fell into the kitchen. "I take it he's awake," she grinned.
"Oh, yeah," Nick laughed.
Brian was rubbing his shoulder and grimacing. "Well," he chuckled. "Whatever went on last night-it hasn't improved his wakeup mode."
"Did the big, bad man hurt widdle Fwickie?" Nick chuckled. He looked up at Rachel. "I'm going into the den and turning on the game. Train should be down here shortly, and I'm not getting in his way when he's looking for coffee."
"CHICKEN!" Brian yelled at Nick's back as he followed him out of the kitchen toward the den.
"No," Nick shot back. "Just not STUPID!" Rachel grinned and shook her head again as she went to the refrigerator for some orange juice.
When Kevin came down the stairs into the kitchen, she was at the sink. He moved behind her and slid his arms around her waist. "Mornin', darlin'," he whispered. "I got the right lady this time," he grinned as he nuzzled her neck.
"Ummm," Rachel smiled. "And if you noticed, I didn't jump through the ceiling this time."
He chuckled. "See? I knew right from the start that you were mine."
"Oh, sure," Rachel laughed as she twisted around in his arms. "That's why you turned beet red and ran away."
"Well, I'm not running away any more." His embrace tightened and he pulled her up on tiptoe to kiss her. "Mmmm-still love me?" he murmured.
"Yes," she sighed contentedly.
He smiled down at her as his hand caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry about last night," he said softly. "Don't know what happened. I guess I had too much to drink." He looked into her eyes and then leaned down to gently taste her lips again. "Can I have a rain check?"
"Of course," she smiled up at him. "Now go-Brian and Nick are waiting for you." She brushed his hair out of his eyes. "And here's some juice-take it with you. I'll bring your coffee when it's ready." He took the glass from her and with another kiss on her cheek he turned and headed for the den. Rachel watched him saunter away. "You really don't understand, do you my love?" she whispered as she began fixing snacks for the men watching the game. Her thoughts drifted again.
~ ~ ~ ~
"There's no one else here, Rachel," he murmured. "Go ahead and scream-you know you want to. Show me how crazy I make you." His lips were centimeters from her ear and his voice, warm and low, was enough to make her crazy, never mind what he was doing to her with his hands. Rachel had tried to contain her reactions, not wanting to-well-at this moment she couldn't remember what it was that she didn't want to. She was fighting a losing battle-she knew that. He was an expert at getting what he wanted. And right now he obviously wanted her crazy.
"Oh, my G-d, Kevin," she breathed. "I can't take any more. Please baby!"
"Please baby, what?" he chuckled as he pulled his lips away from her throat. "Please, baby-this?" His fingers slid inside her again and he pressed down with his thumb.
Rachel moaned and thrust her hips up to meet his hand. He had been playing her like this for what seemed to be an eternity. Pushing her up to the edge and then pulling her back, over and over. His erection was pressing up against her leg, hot and hard, his fluids lubricating it when he rubbed up against her, but he had forbidden her to touch him. And now, all she wanted was to feel him inside her.
"Please Kevin! I need you inside me! Please give me that!" she begged as she reached for him again.
He pulled away from her slightly. "Uh-uh," he whispered. "I told you-don't touch. You want something else inside you? Let's try this." He shifted away from her and she relaxed for a moment. Until she realized what he was about to do. As she felt his lips brush the inside of her thigh she gasped.
Rachel looked down at him as his fingers gently opened her and his tongue slowly and deliberately licked her. He wanted her to scream? He was going to get his wish! As though he could read her thoughts, he looked up into her eyes and grinned. When he lowered his head again, he positioned himself even lower and rammed his tongue into her. He wasn't going to make her wait any more. This time he was going to drive her right over the edge-into nirvana. As he felt her body tense up for the final leap he quickened the pace. His thumb was back, massaging her, mercilessly driving her harder and higher, keeping pace with the rhythm set by his tongue. Her heart was racing and the blood was pounding in her ears. "Oh, dear G-d, Kevin-Kevin!" It was the only thing she could say-the only thing that she could remember as her senses rocketed toward the completion he was giving her. Just his name-over and over. Kevin.
He tasted the sweetness that flooded from her and felt the quivering of muscles pushed beyond endurance and he moved back up her body to hold her close to him. To make her know that he loved her-loved how she had given everything that she was to him. His arms wrapped around her tenderly and he pressed himself against her from shoulders to toes, forgetting in his desire to be close to her that he would betray himself to her. And at that moment she understood.
As she struggled to control her breathing and his arms wrapped around her, she realized that his erection, the part of him that she had so desperately wanted inside her, was gone. And there was no evidence that he had climaxed.
"Kevin?" she whispered.
"Yes, baby," he smiled down at her. "You feelin' better now?" His fingers were tracing her eyebrows and he leaned down to lightly touch her eyelids with his lips. "G-d, you are so sexy and beautiful when you go off like that. Who would have guessed 'Miss Cool, Calm and Collected' could get so wired?" He chuckled.
She smiled up at him. "Now, what can we do for you?" she asked softly. Her hands caressed his back. "I think you deserve something really special for that New Year's present."
"Just let me hold you, Rachel. That's all I want. I'm kinda tired, y'know. You can show me your 'appreciation' later. Let's just hold each other and sleep. Okay?" His eyes were closing and his breathing was becoming soft and regular.
"Okay, Kev," she whispered. "I love you, honey."
"I love you too, Rach," he breathed. Oh, G-d, he thought. She knows.
She closed her eyes. Her heart ached for him. He loved her-yes-but if he didn't get past the anger that was eating away at him, it would destroy what they were trying to build. And what would happen when he did get past the anger, she didn't want to think about.
~ ~ ~ ~
"See you, Rachel! Take care!" Nick was out the door and headed for his car. The game was over and he was going back to the hotel.
Brian gave her a hug as he stopped in the doorway, zipping up his jacket. "Thanks for the 'guy time'. We don't get this as much as we used to," he smiled. "Everybody is all over the map when we're not touring, and touring is-well-it's just different. It's work and sleep. This afternoon was great."
"You're welcome, Bri," Rachel smiled. "Hopefully there'll be more opportunities in the future."
"More opportunities for what?" Kevin asked as he joined them at the door. He slid his arm around Rachel's shoulder and pulled her to him.
"For 'guy time'," She grinned. "Brian was just saying that you don't get many opportunities to just hang out together any more."
Kevin smiled at Brian. "You're right, Cuz. It was good to just have some down time today."
"Well-I gotta run. Rachel-it was great seeing you again." Brian kissed her on the cheek and turned to Kevin. "I'll see you in Orlando-day after tomorrow-right?"
Kevin's arm tensed momentarily around Rachel's shoulders and he looked down at her apologetically. "Yeah-that's right, Bri. See you then." Brian turned and went to his car. As Rachel gently closed the door after him Kevin's voice came softly from behind her. "I'm sorry, babe. I was going to tell you as soon as they left today. Rehearsals start day after tomorrow." Rachel turned slowly and looked up at him. She smiled and he looked relieved. "You're not mad?" he asked tentatively.
"Why would I be mad?" she asked. "You're a performer. You have a tour coming up. That means rehearsals. This is part of what you do." She grinned at him. "I'd have liked a little advance notice, but all things considered, forty-eight hours isn't bad. I mean, it's not like we've got a long-standing, deep relationship here. We're just getting started."
He slid his arms around her waist and sighed. "I love you, Rachel. I was really afraid that my having to leave was gonna be difficult-with this being so new. That's why I was afraid to say anything."
Rachel let him cradle her in his arms. She hesitated. "Promise me something?"
"What?" he murmured, stroking her hair.
"Promise me that you'll give yourself the chance to see if 'this' is really what you want," she said quietly.
His hand stopped stroking. "What do you want me to do?"
"Give yourself permission to be single again," Rachel smiled.
"You want me to date?" He pulled back from her to look down into her eyes.
"Yes," she said firmly. "We have no commitment yet. Now is the time to make sure."
He laughed a little nervously. "I spent years telling Kristin that I needed to do this and she freaked. You're telling me I have to do this and I don't want to."
"Kevin-please. You have to find out." She needed to get him to agree before her courage failed her.
"Are you sure that's it?" Kevin asked gently.
"What?" she sighed.
"Are you sure that you're not pushing me away because you're not sure?" he persisted.
She chuckled. "Did that make sense? In English?"
He grinned down at her. "Okay, okay - I promise," he whispered. As he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, he murmured, "It's not gonna be easy, but I promise. It's the only way you're going to believe me-isn't it?"
It's the only way to save us, she thought as she nodded and he drew her into a gentle kiss.
Chapter 33
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