Chapter 24
December 25, 2006 - 3 AM
"Damn it! Who writes these directions!"
Rachel chuckled. "It would probably go a little better if you weren't working on your third bourbon and branch."
"Oh, come on! Even if I was cold sober, these instructions wouldn't make any sense," Kevin grumbled. Then he grinned up at her. "Help?"
She grinned back at him and took the instruction sheet from him as she sat down next to him on the floor. "Where are you in this?"
"I've got the base together, but I can't figure out how the rest of it-", he trailed off with a sigh.
"Okay-let's back up a little bit and see if anything is wrong yet," Rachel said.
* * *
Forty minutes later, the train set was up and operational, and the rest of the gifts from Santa were arranged. Kevin stood up and tipped up his glass, finishing the last of the drink. He looked around and nodded in satisfaction. "I can remember coming downstairs on Christmas morning when I was little-and it looked just like this." He turned to Rachel. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I think they're going to have a wonderful Christmas. But not just because of all this. You're their biggest and best present," she smiled up at him. "And now I think you and I had better get to bed." She stopped and blushed as she realized how that sounded. "I mean-Jemma and Aaron are going to be up in just a couple of hours-if they're anything like most of the kids I know." She started toward the door of the room.
"Rachel-." She stopped and turned back toward Kevin. "Rachel-I want to apologize for this evening." She looked puzzled. He walked toward her. "That stupid game," he explained. "I'd forgotten all about it, or I would have warned you." He paused. "And I didn't really expect that everybody would make you join in."
She smiled at him. "I didn't mind-really. It was good to have some silly fun. That doesn't happen often enough. Although your family seems to be very good at it." They were walking together toward the door. As they started through, they both automatically looked up. The mistletoe was gone. Kevin laughed nervously.
"I guess they took it down when they were through," he said softly.
"Yes-I guess so." It was almost a whisper. "Well-goodnight, Kevin."
Instead of replying, he placed a finger under her chin and tipped her head up so he could look into her eyes. "There doesn't have to be mistletoe, you know." He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "Merry Christmas, Rachel," he whispered.
"Merry Christmas, Kevin." And then she turned away and started up the stairs.
He watched her walk up the stairs and turned back to switch off the lights. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and sighed. He headed toward the back of the house to leave his glass in the kitchen. As he walked past the den, he hesitated. Opening the door he stepped into the room and looked around. This was Rachel. Not all the stuff out there, accumulated over the years. This was her statement. And he liked it. It was beautiful, elegant, understated. He sank down onto the sofa. The hearth was empty and cold, but the clean, fresh scent of pine was strong in the room. He closed his eyes and leaned back.
That simple kiss in the doorway had left him shaken. He thought back over the past year. G-d, how many times did I make an ass of myself with her? The first time we met-I thought she was Tracy and jumped her from behind. He grinned. And all she did was smile and brush it off. I don't really remember what happened after Kristy's memorial service, but she was there. She put me to bed. And then-what I did to her on my birthday! Jesus! Talk about acting like an animal! But she never gave up. Got mad-yeah! But she didn't give up. She's pushed and prodded me to be with the kids. And she was right. G-d, I've missed them. And she's probably right about Kristy, too. The nightmares aren't going away. I just don't know if I have the strength to deal with that right now. Too many other things that need my attention. He shook his head. I've got to be back in Orlando after New Year's for rehearsals. I don't want to spend the next week in therapy about Kristy. I want to enjoy Jemma and Aaron-and Rachel.
Does she really care about me-or is it professional? Does she want me or does she just want me to get well? The other night in here-I could have sworn that she wanted-something to happen. But then she bolted. He shook his head. She didn't wear her hair down today, Kev. That should be a clear enough signal. You asked, she said no. What more do you want? He groaned. From the feeling in his groin, it was pretty obvious what his body wanted. The thing that was upsetting was that he was getting the distinct impression that his heart wanted something more too.
Well, this is getting you nowhere, he thought. The other thing Rachel is right about is that Jemma and Aaron will be up in a couple of hours. He grinned. And then I'll have to be up again. I'm not missing another Christmas morning with them. I'd better get to bed. He smiled again as he remembered Rachel blushing when she said that they should get to bed. Not much question about where her mind had wandered to at that moment. Okay, enough, he thought looking down at his lap. It ain't happening-at least not tonight. He got up and continued on to the kitchen with his glass and took the back stairway up to his bedroom. As he drifted off to sleep he was thinking about the party for the next day. I wonder what Howie will think of Rachel? Or AJ-. He chuckled. He knew what AJ would think of her. I'll have to keep an eye on him or Amanda will carve him up for dinner.
* * *
Rachel was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. There was no point in trying to sleep now. She had tried. There was an hour, an hour-and-a-half at most, before Jemma and Aaron would be awake. I hate Christmas, she thought. Too many emotions flying. It's a good thing I have somewhere to go this afternoon. Maybe I'll just stay at Mom and Dad's and 'forget' to get back for the party here. That's a legitimate excuse. I got tied up with family.
It's fairly obvious that Kevin is getting attached to me. Is that a bad thing? Yes and no. Yes! I don't know if he wants a relationship or just a convenient bed partner. And he's my boss. Not a healthy situation. And most importantly he hasn't dealt yet with the Kristy issues. No matter how he pushes them down, they're still there. He wouldn't be having nightmares if everything were resolved. But do I want him attached to me? Oh G-d, Rachel, don't go there. She sighed. Yes, I do. He's a thoughtful, funny, sweet man. He's going to be a wonderful father once he gets over the jitters. He's already made amazing progress. And lord, is he attractive! Do I want him? Oh, yeah. A wave of heat washed over her and she groaned. The look in his eyes after he had kissed her tonight swam behind her closed eyelids as she touched herself. She brought herself rapidly to climax and as her breathing returned to normal she thought to herself-I need to ask for a day off before he leaves again. This job is getting way too complicated.
Chapter 25
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