Chapter 20
December 19, 2006
"Okay-now shift the chair down this way a couple of feet and it should be fine," Rachel said trying to picture it in her mind.
"Are you sure this time?" came the amused baritone voice.
Rachel bristled. "Look-you said that's where the tree should go. I'd have thought you knew what needed moving and how far."
Kevin finished shoving the chair and straightened up. "I did. It was just more fun watching you try to figure it out," he chuckled.
She glared at him. "Very funny!" Kevin continued to chuckle as he flopped down on the sofa and leaned his head back, and finally Rachel grinned back at him. "So? The space is there now-go get the tree!"
He was still smiling. "Give me a minute," he said. He looked around the room. "Actually this is a better arrangement than we used have-I don't know why we didn't think of it."
"Thank you," she said, sitting down next to him and looking around as he had done.
Kevin rolled his head on the sofa back to look at her. "You've made a lot of things better around here," he said softly. He stared into her eyes for a few moments before clearing his throat. "You said we could talk if I wanted to. Sorry I slept most of yesterday. Is now a good time?"
"Now is always the best time, Kevin."
His bit his lip and looked away from her. "What I said the other night-I guess that's been waiting to surface for a long time." He looked up at Rachel again. "I sat in the bar that night and thought about it for hours. When Jerry found me I'd finally gotten up the courage to really say it out loud." His eyes took on a wondering gaze. "I figured that Jerry-of all people-would just spit in my face and walk out." He paused. "But he didn't," he whispered. "He said that he understood. Actually held my hand and told me that he could understand how I could feel that way." Tears slid silently down his cheeks. "I haven't felt that close to him in years."
"What else did you two talk about?" Rachel asked gently.
"Just about the kids generally. He-uh-he told me to ask you what the fight had been about. I-when I told him what had happened, he said I jumped the gun-punishing Aaron like that." He sighed. "I'm not sure I'm doing a very good job at this parenting stuff." He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "So-what was it about?"
Kevin's hand was resting on the sofa cushion beside him. Rachel reached out and laced her fingers into his. "It was a typical sibling fight. Blame on both sides-or neither side, depending on how you want to look at it." She smiled at him. "Jemma woke Aaron from a sound sleep. Mistake number one."
Kevin chuckled softly. "He's definitely my kid."
"Apparently," Rachel said dryly. "Then, mistake number two, she proceeded to tell him what the two of you had been up to while he was sleeping. She didn't mean to do anything spiteful. She was just excited. But the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head." She tightened her hold on his hand slightly. "Kevin-Aaron's watched your relationship with Jemma change and grow over the last three weeks, and all he wants is the same thing for himself. And he sees that it's not happening."
Kevin shook his head. "I've tried, Rachel-!"
"I know that. But he's a little boy. He doesn't understand that you don't hate him. And every time you and Jemma share something, all he sees is that she's standing in the way of him being with you. The Christmas tree was the last straw. He got excluded again. So he dealt with it the only way that he could find at that moment. Mistake number three. I'd be willing to bet that he thought he was making progress, the day that you two showed up in the kitchen wanting me to cut your hair-and then Jemma got between you again. He's horribly jealous of her. And she used to be his closest friend. So lashing out at her seemed to be the only way he could let her know he was hurt-even though he knew what he was doing was wrong. Kevin, he wasn't trying to apologize for hurting Jemma. He was apologizing for letting you down-again. And he doesn't know what he did wrong in the first place."
"I really screwed up-didn't I?" he said quietly.
"You're still learning," Rachel smiled. "Parenting is the only job I know of that doesn't require some kind of formal preparation, or come with a instruction manual. It's all on-the-job training. Everybody makes mistakes. The secret is that kids bounce."
"What?" He started to smile.
"They bounce. They're resilient. And they'll forgive you all kinds of mistakes if they can see that you really care about them. They'll always give you another chance if they know you care." She searched his face for a moment. "Ready to try again?"
He looked into her eyes. "Yeah," he said softly, and brought her hand to his lips. "Thank you."
Rachel flushed slightly and gently pulled her hand away. "Well, if you'll bring the tree in and get it set up, I'll go and pick Jemma up at school." She stood up. "And maybe you could get Aaron up when you're done with the tree." He looked up at her and nodded.
* * *
The house smelled of fresh pine. As Rachel stepped through the door with Jemma, she smiled and inhaled deeply. This was what Christmas was all about-not the glowing lights or the scent of spices and roasting meats-just this fresh, clean, astringent smell of green things and life.
"Rachel!" Jemma squealed. "Daddy brought the tree in!"
"I know sweetie," she replied. "We're all going to decorate it today. Now go get your clothes changed so you can help."
Jemma raced up the stairs and called out a greeting as she reached the top. "Hi, Daddy! Hi, Ri! I'll be changed in a minute! Don't start till I get there!"
Rachel looked up and laughed at the sight that greeted her at the top of the stairs. Aaron was carefully coming down the steps, one hand holding the railing and the other tightly clutching the star ornament intended for the top of the tree. Kevin was behind him carrying-everything else.
"We found the decorations, Rachel!" Aaron beamed.
"I can see that," she chuckled. "Did you empty out the attic?"
"Yuck it up, fuzzball!" Kevin grumbled as he reached the bottom. "Can you please take some of this?" Rachel grinned at him and relieved him of two boxes, so that at least he could see where he was going. "I don't know where half of this stuff is supposed to go," he said quietly. "But when we got up there, Aaron claimed he remembered everything in these boxes, so we had to bring them down." He looked at her pleadingly. "You're gonna have to help me draw the line on what to use and what to pack away."
Four hours later, they stood back and surveyed the tree. "I don't know-something's missing," Kevin said with a wink at Rachel.
Aaron tugged at his hand. "Daddy! The star for the top!" Kevin looked down at him. Aaron grinned. "See, Daddy?" He held up the ornament that he had taken charge of in the attic.
"Well, of course! What was I thinking! Go put it on!" Kevin started packing things away. Jemma was handing him things to put back in the boxes.
Rachel hid a smile behind her hand and looked up at Kevin. He was trying very hard to keep a straight face. Aaron looked uncertainly from Kevin to Rachel and back to Kevin again. His eyes clouded. "Daddy-I can't reach," he said softly, on the verge of tears.
Kevin looked down at him. "You can't?!" he said in a puzzled voice. Aaron shook his head sadly and held the ornament up, prepared to surrender it to his father. After a glance at Rachel, Kevin slowly smiled at his son. "Well then, I guess I'll just have to help you."
Aaron's eyes fairly popped out of his head as Kevin bent down and picked him up, lifting him onto his shoulder and walking with him over to the tree. He looked down at Rachel and his grin looked like it would split his face. Kevin held him securely while he placed the star on the topmost branch. Jemma cheered. Once it was in place, Kevin lowered him, but only as far as his chest. Wrapped in Kevin's embrace, Aaron looked over at Rachel and smiled. He knew that everything was going to be all right now. Rachel had fixed things.
Chapter 21
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