Chapter 12
October 4, 2006
Kevin looked up in shock. "Tim? What the hell?"
"I said get up! You’ve done all the damage you’re going to be allowed to do. I’ve had enough. We’ve all had enough. You are going to go downstairs and apologize to Rachel, and ask her to stay. That
woman is the best thing that’s ever happened to your children, and you are not going to send her away. If you won’t pay her salary, Jerry and I will find a way to do it. But you will apologizeNOW! Tim
looked at him in disgust. "Get dressed. You have ten minutes." He turned toward the door.
"If she’s the best thing that ever happened to them, then why did she take the check I wrote?" Kevin spat out at him. "She doesn’t care about them. All she wants is her money. We can find somebody else-in a heartbeat!"
Tim stared at him like Kevin had lost his mind. "She took the check",he echoed softly. "She took the check? Of course she took the check, you jackass! She works for a living! You didn’t leave her much
choice. As of today, she needs a place to live and she needs to be able to eat." The look on Tim’s face appalled Kevin. Disbelief, disgust-and worst of all-total detachment from him. "And ‘we’ aren’t going to be finding anyone else. If you go through with this, you’re on your own to hire someone new." He started out the door.
"Who do you think you’re talking to?" Kevin demanded harshly, still trying to gain control of the situation.
Tim turned back to him, his hand on the doorknob. "I’m talking to my brother, who I love. I’m talking to my brother, who right now is about as lost and alone as he’s ever been in his life. I’m talking to my
brother, who is about to throw away his last chance to know the love of his children. I’m talking to you, Kev. I can’t let you destroy two innocent kids because you can’t get over the fact that your wife is
gone. I can’t let you destroy yourself." He paused. "You’ve got eight minutes, Kevin", he said coldly. He opened the door and left the room.
It was fifteen minutes before Kevin came down the stairs, but no one was counting. Tim stood in the hallway, looking up at him on the stairs. He turned and called to Tracy, who joined him, holding the
baby.
"Rachel is in the living room, Kevin", Tim said quietly. "Tracy and I will be in the kitchen. But if you mess this up, you and I will be in the backyard-where I will make sure that you understand what
you’ve done." He turned and, putting his arm around Tracy, walked to the back of the house.
Kevin hesitated on the bottom step and then with a deep sigh, crossed the hallway and walked into the living room. Rachel was seated on the sofa. She looked up as he entered.
"Rachel...I." He stopped. "Tim thinks..." Another halt. "Even though you..." He couldn’t do this. His mind screamed at him that it was her fault. She had provoked him. She’d made him angry. He didn’t want to feel like that. He didn’t want to feel anything. He looked at the floor. Rachel said nothing. Finally, he looked up at her and she was startled to see fear in his eyes. His jaw clenched and he whispered, "What did you tell them about last night?"
She held his gaze for a moment before answering him. "I didn’t tell them why I slapped you. Is that what you want to know?" His shoulders sagging and his eyes closing were her answer.
He dropped into an armchair opposite her. "Rachel...I...I don’t know what happened last night. I’m sorry about the way I acted. And...I...uh...I hope you’ll stay. Tim and Tracy say you’ve been
wonderful for-the kids." He paused and sighed. Maybe I can get her to understand, he thought. "I guess I need to explain to you what I’m going through here. The family knows, but you’re new to the
situation, so I shouldn’t have expected you to understand-.
Rachel stopped him. "If you’re going to tell me you’re doing the best you can given the circumstances, and that I shouldn’t get in your face about how you’re treating Jemma and Aaron, save your breath",
she said quietly. "I don’t want to hear the excuses. Don’t worry, I’ll stay. But don’t play games with me. That’s an excuse that even Aaron could see through. Don’t try it on me."
He was on his feet again, and glaring at her. "All right-I tried. Your job is safe, just stay out of my way", he growled. "And keep in mind-when you do leave-you’ve already received your severance
pay." She looked at him curiously. "Don’t expect any more." He turned and stalked out of the room and up the stairs.
Kevin walked into his bedroom and slammed the door. He sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. He needed a drink. She had gotten to him again. Forced him to feel. He looked back
over his shoulder to the far side of the bed. Where Kristin had slept. Damn it, Kristy. Why?!? He shuddered and got up. He could hear the kids outside. Shouting with laughter and calling to one another. Just the way he and Tim and Jerry had years ago.
After a few minutes, he walked to the window and looked down into the yard. They had raked up a huge pile of leaves and were running and jumping into them-scattering them all over the yard again.
Tracy was sitting off to the side with Parker on her lap, and Tim was trying to pile the leaves back up again. Jemma and Aaron were searching for something in the leaves. Suddenly, Rachel popped up from
beneath the pile, and Aaron screamed with laughter. Rachel grabbed him and pulled him into the leaves with her. Jemma danced around them, giggling. As Kevin watched, Rachel disengaged herself from the
game and went to sit with Tracy. She took Parker from his mother and cradled him in her arms. Kevin looked away.
As he moved away from the window, an envelope sitting on his dresser caught his eye. He walked over and picked it up. His name was on the outside, but it wasn’t sealed. He pulled it open and removed the
contents. There was a note attached to the check he had written last night. The note was dated October 3rd. She must have put it here last night when she came upstairs.
"Kevin-This is not why I came here. You have two beautiful and bright children. They deserve a father. Love them. Loss is hard, Kevin. It’s painful. But their loss is greater than yours. You have memories-they have a void. As they grow, that void will become
larger and larger unless you can fill it for them with love and stability. You owe it to them and to yourself to try. I’ll remember you all fondly. Rachel."
Across the check she had written-VOID.
He stood staring at the note and the check for a long time. He didn’t realize he was crying until a tear splashed down on the check, smearing the ink.
When he joined them in the backyard, everyone was treading softly. He seemed subdued and didn’t appear to want conversation. He sat on the ground and stared off into space. But half an hour later,
Tracy noticed that his eyes were following Aaron as the little boy romped around the yard. He must have felt her eyes on him, because he looked up at her, flushed slightly and dropped his gaze to the
ground. Tracy looked away, but as she headed into the house with Parker, she glanced at him again. His eyes were once again glued to his son. Tracy smiled. "Good for you, Rachel", she whispered to
herself.
Chapter 13
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