The Conversation
      Chapter 6
 

Ten minutes later, after Michelle has used the bathroom and Danny changes into a t-shirt and boxers, they get under the covers.

"Wow… this has been quite a night."

"Yeah," she replies, taking a sip of water. "I was just thinking about our first night together in the same bed. Do you remember?"

A wicked grin comes across her face, still seductive and sexy, even if she feels exactly the opposite.

"How could I not? You were such a tease."

She turns in laughter toward him.

"Me!? A tease? I don't think so. If I remember correctly, it was you who threatened to wear nothing to bed that night!"

"It was no threat, baby."

She lightly and playfully hits him on the chest as he takes her arm and brings her closer, placing a soft kiss onto her cheek.

"Mmmhmm… I was so mad at you that night. Your mother, oh, wait, that was the night at the country club, right? She invited Rick, Abby, yeah… oh wow, I almost forgot."

"You did? You almost forgot the night I almost beat the life out of Jesse after I saw you making out with him in the hallway? I wish I had your selective memory."

"I was not making out with him."

"Oh yeah? That's not how I remember it. I remember my mother coming to tell me that you were visiting with someone and I go to see… ugh, listen, I don't even want to remember it."

"You were pretty mad."

"Of course I was mad! You were my wife, and even if you didn't love me, we still had to put on a show for everyone else, you knew that."

"I was… confused."

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was! I mean, Jesse… he was good to me."

"I don't wanna hear this…"

"No, really… he didn't deserve what happened to him."

"You mean Drew?"

She can't help but laugh.

"No! I'm being serious. He left one night and we were together, the next thing he knew I was married to you. Think of how that would've felt."

"I don't have to. You never would've left me."

A smirk crosses his face as he peeks up at her reaction. Oh how she loves his confidence. She flashes him the same smirk back that tells him he's right.

"Ha ha. But really, he was just trying to get me to admit…"

"…that you still loved him."

No matter how much he's accepted Jesse as a part of her past, a part of him will always wish that he never existed, that her relationship with him never happened. As possessive as it sounded, he knew Michelle belonged to him, just as he belonged to her. The idea of someone having her first always left him feeling at a loss.

"I've thought about that."

"About what? You and Jesse?"

"Yeah. All the time I was in jail, I obviously had a lot of time to think. I thought about everything… my family, growing up with Bill, Jesse, you… I thought a lot about you."

"You better."

"I did. But I did think about Jesse, too. I tried to figure out what that time in my life meant to me."

"And?"

"And… I realized just how different things were with him than I had remembered. He was good to me, and I'll always have a place for him in my heart, but to even say that I loved him, it feels like I'd be lying."

His ears perk up. He likes the way this is sounding.

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"I mean, there's just no way, no way, that I could compare what I have with you to what I had with him…"

Just the mere thought of comparing himself with Jesse forced him to shoot Michelle a puzzled look.

"I mean, I know that that's never been in question with you…" she says, wrapping a finger around one of his longer curls.

"Nope."

"But I guess what I'm trying to say is that it almost seems… insulting… to call them both by the same name, to label them both as `love'. Does that make more sense?"

"It makes perfect sense, baby. Actually, I knew what you meant a long time ago, I just like seeing you squirm."

"You…" She takes her hand from the side of his hair and slaps his shoulder before letting it join his hand at his side.

"Yeah, yeah…"

He lets out a deep sigh as he takes a moment to reflect.

"You were so beautiful that first night we slept together."

She blushes.

"You were… I remember how frustrated you were. You were so cute, stomping around with that look on your face."

"Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed the show! Yeah, I wasn't too happy. I remember sleeping in my robe! Oh my god!" she laughs. "But I also remember feeling really boxed in by you that whole night. Like I was some kind of puppet you were controlling."

He looks at her a bit more seriously now.

"You certainly kept me on my toes. You just wouldn't give in. I loved that about you."

"No you didn't. You hated that about me. But you know, it was becoming quite the challenge – just to see how mad I could get you."

"I knew it! I knew you did it on purpose!"

"Only sometimes! Only sometimes… I just kept thinking about how my life was supposed to turn out and how everything in my life was not how I had planned. And I wanted to stick it to you for putting me there, in a life I thought I hated."

"Well, you did…you did hate it, and you should've. It was no way to live."

"No, maybe not. But it was my life, and it was worth it, to get here."

"I remember one night that was definitely worth it."

"Hm?"

"Remember when we had to convince Jesse to leave you alone so we met at the lighthouse…"

"Ohhh yeah… that was… weird."

"I was thinking more along the lines of unforgettable, but hey…"

He slips her another grin, matching those of earlier.

"Well… that part was, definitely."

Her mind takes her back to the moment that their mouths met in a passionate rage.

"I didn't know how to kiss you. I remember that."

"You what? You did a fine job, thank you very much."

"You're welcome, but I really… you wanted to make sure I could go through with it. There you were in front of me, this older, more experienced playboy…"

"Playboy!? Where'd you get that idea?"

She takes a moment, moves slightly aback and gives him a once-over.

"Look at you! I may have been mad as hell at you most of the time, but I was never blind!"

"Interesting choice of words."

"Ohhh alright, that's enough. Anyway… when I was walking toward you I just kept looking at your lips."

"Hm? And just what were you thinking about my lips?" he says seductively.

"Honestly? How perfect they were. I tried so hard not to want them, not to want you that night, and mostly it worked. But when you kissed me, I never wanted to let go."

"Oh really? Could've surprised me. I remember you having quite an indifferent look on your face, actually."

"I was practically hyper-ventilating! You couldn't see that?"

"Frankly, I was in such a daze myself that I barely noticed anything… well, until you started undressing. Then I was watching… noticing…"

"I think that was the first night that I was genuinely, I mean really confused about my feelings for you. I mean, in the whole time I'd been with Jesse, I never wanted him as much as I wanted you in those few seconds. That was terrifying… I hated it. I hated not knowing what to do, or what not to do."

He closes his eyes to envision her that night, sitting next to him on the bed.

"You looked so innocent, so scared in that bed. All I wanted to do was take all of that fear away, all the questions. Because I felt it too… in that kiss… you didn't have to do it, you know. Kiss me like that."

"Oh I know," she says slyly.

"I swear, when Jesse got there I felt like I was the one being dumped. And I couldn't do anything. Just sit there and watch your heart break. Watch you cry over him, over Jesse. That killed me."

"It was hard, Danny. I don't deny that. Jesse never deserved it."

"I know, but I knew from day one that what you had with him would be nothing compared to what you and I could have. It's not my fault it took you so long to figure it out."

"It wasn't that long!"

"Oh? When did you know?"

She playfully scoots closer to him and plays with his chest.

"The day you told me that you… are… a man."