The Conversation
      Chapter 1
 

Toots Writes: This was an idea that was thrown around in chat and I wanted someone to write about it so much, but none of my friendly fic writers would do it, so I decided to do it myself. The concept began as a question, "How would Manny tell their child about how they met?" and has become bigger than I ever expected. I'm an inspirational type of writer, I can't write on demand, but more when I feel moved enough to write. So bear with me, this isn't my FIRST fic, but it's the first I've shared with the public. No responses are necessary, unless it sucks beyond recognition. :P
The setup in italics is kind of my own wishing...

 Theresa had shown up in San Cristobel while Michelle and Danny were hiding. Ironically enough, she met her death at the hands of Col. Dax before ever reaching them. When Dax found Theresa spying on the palace, gun in hand (intended for Michelle), he assumed she was trying to kill the prince. Doing his job, he shot and killed her first.

Vanessa woke up a week later and cleared Michelle of the murder charge. They returned to Springfield facing only a hefty fine and 300 hours each of community service for breaking her out of jail. Rick and Jesse’s names were never brought up. While on the island, Michelle found out she was pregnant. While worried about their immediate future, they were still overjoyed at bringing a child into the world.

Carmen was committed to a mental healthcare facility in April. After admitting her part in Ben’s death and Michelle's set-up, she was found unfit to stand trial and sentenced to constant and confining psychiatric care until she was. The Santos business dealings were handed over to Bernard, whose plans to avenge his daughter’s dishonor on Danny & Michelle turned into plans to avenge his daughter's death on the entire island of San Cristobel, most notably Col. Dax, Prince Richard, and Princess Cassie.

September, 2000: With all of that behind them, they are content and happy. Michelle is 6 months pregnant. Danny is now working with Josh & Billy in their new company. Michelle has put off medical school until after the baby is born. In the meantime, however, she volunteers at the hospital as much as possible. The guesthouse on the property at Laurel Falls has been built and they reside there until the main house is finished, which should be around the beginning of the year, just in time for the little one. Because of Danny’s impatience, they had a sonogram done to find out that they are, in fact, having a baby girl. Every night before they fall asleep, they lie in bed and talk to and about the baby. Everything about it - names, what she’ll look like, whose temper she’ll have, etc.

Tonight's conversation was no different. Under the covers, Michelle lay in Danny’s arms, up against his chest. His left hand covering her small but robust belly, still finding it hard to believe that there’s a little life in there. It started innocently enough, until…

“A fisherman?”

“Why not?”

“Danny, you want her to be a fisherman?”, she asks, completely shocked at his seriousness.

“Ok, a fisherwoman?”, he jokes.

“Danny…”

“Oh, you were hoping she’d be a doctor like all the other Bauers?”

“Well, better than being a…”

The silence is deafening as Michelle stops in mid-sentence. She slowly turns toward him and brings his chin up from his chest where his head has fallen in disgrace.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s ok.”

“Really, I didn’t mean…”

“I know. You’re right. You shouldn’t want her to be like my family.”

There was nothing she could say that would make him feel better right now. She just leans back and holds him to assure him of her love. A quiet timbre fills the room for what seems like an eternity, until Danny’s whisper finds its way through the silence…

“What do we tell her?”, he asks quietly.

“About what? About life? Boys? What?”

“About us. How are we supposed to tell her how we met?”

Michelle leans up from his arms and turns to face him, unsure of how to answer the question she hoped she would never have to answer. So many thoughts race through her mind, but she can only utter a simple syllable.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. What do we say? `Your Uncle Mick was a drug dealer and a brute, he tried to rape and kill your mother, but she defended herself and killed him instead.. so I came around looking for his killer and found Mommy. I was supposed to kill her, but instead we fell in love. And we lived happily ever after’ Is that what I’m supposed to tell my little girl?”

She takes his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers the way he had always done when she was hurt or confused.

“I… hadn’t really thought about it.”

“I think it’s time that we did, don’t you?”

She doesn’t answer, and doesn’t look at him.

“Michelle, after we figured out how we felt about each other, all the bad stuff, all of that early stuff was swept under the rug. We barely ever think about it, it’s like we were different people.”

Finally, she looks up to meet his sad eyes.

“We were. I’m not that same little girl I was 2 years ago. Everything has changed. This, our love, has changed me. You changed me, Danny.”

“And you changed me. But that doesn’t mean that those… bad times… it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.”

“I know they do, I know. I live with that night on the beach and what I did to Mick every day, you know that. But sometimes… I guess I don’t like to think about all of it, not when we’re happy like this.”

She places his hand on her stomach, reminding him of their life now and the future they’ll be sharing. He looks at the bulge and caresses it, knowing how blessed he truly is, before he pulls his hand up and strokes the side of her face, eventually letting it settle on her shoulder as his thumb wrestles with her earlobe.

“I know, I know. I really do understand why… why you wouldn’t want to re-live the past. And I really don’t blame you. But baby, it’s here, it’s between us. It’s this thing that could grow into something that changes what we are to each other.”

She takes his hand from her shoulder and grasps it tightly, reassuredly.

“No. That could never happen.”

“Couldn’t it? How do we know?”

“Dan..”

“No, really.. How could we? Look at our lives together. Look back. When you first met me, you hated me.”

“No, I…”

“Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Did you ever think then that we’d ever be like this? We can’t know how unresolved issues will affect us. We can never know. I think we need to talk, about ALL of it. The good and the bad.”

Her eyes are pleading with his now. She doesn’t want to dredge up the past, she wants to concentrate on their future.

“Danny, please. We’re happy now. Our baby will be here in a few months and we’ll have whole new issues to worry about.”

“But she… doesn’t she deserve to know the truth? Shouldn’t she know about the kind of man her father is?”

Tears begin to form in his eyes at the thought of his daughter being ashamed of him. Michelle has seen this look before, the look of blame that he places on himself for everything that happened to Michelle in the last 2 years. She pulls herself closer to him, her right hand still holding his, her left hand cradling his neck. She forces him to look at her.

“She will know that her father is a good man, a man that loves her more than anything in the world. And she will learn, from both of us, not to judge people by their name. She will be born a Santos, and like me, she will be proud of that name because you have made it a name to be proud of.”

“That’s not enough,” he whispers as he breaks free from her grasp and gets off the bed. He walks around to the foot of the bed and leans against it, facing her.

"Where is this coming from?”

He speaks slowly, as though remembering everything as he tells her.

“I just… sometimes I think back. I think back to the first time I saw you… your hair, I remember your hair… the first time I kissed you… how soft you were… that smile… all of it."

A smile breaks out across his face as he recounts. He looks up and sees her eyes, that mouth, her hair, all in front of him, it's so real. His smile then quickly dissipates. He continues...

"You once said that you wouldn’t take back one minute we had together. Did you mean that?”

“Danny, I know where you’re going with this… I know, I know we’ve had some really bad times, I do remember it all. I’m not blind to that part of our past. But that’s what it is – it’s the past. We can’t do anything about it.”

He senses that she needs him closer to her so he complies. He joins her back on the bed, facing her, and grabs her hand.

“No, nothing that can change it, you’re right. But for a while now, even after everything we’ve been through, I’ve felt like there’s a part of you that I don’t know. A part of you that has kept certain feelings from me that I’ll never know about no matter how long we live together, no matter how well I know you, because they’re bottled up deep inside of you and only you can tell me what they are.”

She doesn’t respond. They both know he’s right.

“Right? You may not want to acknowledge them, but they’re there. Maybe… maybe I know because… I have them too.”

Her eyes are brimming with tears. As she closes them tight, the tears fall.

“You’re scaring me, Danny. Please…”

“Baby, no, it’s ok. Don’t…”

He rushes to be next to her and holds her tightly, soothing her hair with his hand and placing small kisses to her forehead. While still rocking her slowly, he whispers to her...

“We need to do this. We need to talk about this stuff. It may hurt, it may bring up bad memories, but I think it all needs to be said, for both of us, and I think it will only make us stronger in the end. Does that make sense?”

She nods, not saying a word. He settles her back, gently kisses her salty cheeks and wipes her tears away. He eases her into the conversation.

“That first night…”