The Long Flight Home
      Chapter 10
 

What secrets sleep in the heart of the night
Dreams of salvation
Slipping out of sight
In the shimmering moments of twilight
Closing up the shine
Whisper on the wind of a rescue
Savior in time
Promise of you
--Edwin McCain

The elevator pinged as it came to rest in the basement of the hospital. As the doors slowly opened, the figure of the man inside did not move. The flickering light pulsing through the door from a florescent light that was beginning to burn out, hurt his eyes. The corridor stretched out before him, highly glossed and endless. The only thing that propelled him forward was the desperate need to make a liar out of Frank Cooper. He couldn't, wouldn't, believe that Pilar was in the bowels of this place known for healing, dead. What did the word mean? He could not comprehend the ramifications of its use. Saying it over and over again in his head took it's sting away. It was just a one syllable word, wasn't it? How could such a simple word harm him, cause this sweeping anguish he was feeling. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to make his feet move out into the corridor. It was as if there was a force holding him back.

The elevator doors began to close on him and the inevitable happened. He instinctually moved to get out of their way, and suddenly he found himself alone in the corridor, the doors firmly shut behind him, and the flickering light his only company. He was not normally indecisive, but at this moment in time, this infinitesimal moment, he could find no reason to be decisive. He stood looking down the long corridor, his eyes turned inward, images clouding his vision. In his mind's eye he saw Pilar as a toddler, her hair, long and straight even then, being spun by their father, and her screams of delight echoed in his head.

His next image of her was sitting in her window seat close to him, pointing out the stars in the night sky. He could feel her arm around him and her tiny fingers gripping his.

The images changed, and he saw her tears through the veil of lace that Mama insisted she wear to their father's funeral. She was such a somber child then, and he remembered that she didn't smile for weeks after their father's death. He had needed her childlike laughter, and her innocence, but from that fateful day, a subtle change had settled into all their lives. Their father's violent death, had robbed him and Pilar of their most basic of childhood need's, that of feeling protected and safe. Eventually, she began to smile again, and her spirits lifted, but her innocence to life's painful realities, was lost forever. She matured into a beautiful young woman, inside and out.

He could clearly see her raven wing of hair, her flawless complexion, and her thousand watt smile as she had modeled her prom gown. When had she grown up? He was so use to protecting her that he hadn't taken the time to notice that she was becoming a poised young woman, in command of her life, ready to spread her wings. He smiled at her joy of that night, of how she had carefully put her face close to her wrist corsage of sterling roses, and inhaled their fragrance, of how she had demonstrated a graceful turn in her ball gown made from the finest white silk and tulle. As she had spun in a wide arc, the years seemed to zoom forward, and he had found himself standing in an airport terminal, wiping her tears away with a handkerchief, as she had smiled bravely through them. She was off to college in Spain. Her wings were finally spread, and she was moving towards a life of her own. He was secretly crushed and joyful at the same time. He had done his job well. Her life stretched out before her, a blank page on which to write her own story. She would leave the uncertainties of their family's way of life, and remain an innocent to the business. He happily waved her off, even if his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. All that mattered was that she was to be free of the burden of their family's legacy.

But now…He found himself at the end of the corridor. A lifetime had seemed to have passed since he'd left the elevator, when in reality only moments had gone by. A set of glass double doors impeded his progress. He could see a sign on the corridor wall through the glass. The flickering glow from the florescent light created a reflection that distorted the words on the sign, but he knew in his head that the letters spelled out Morgue. He placed one hand on the metal bar to open the door, but it's chill shocked him and he snatched his hand back as if it had been burned. Not yet, not yet, he told himself. So, he stood looking through the glass, his reflection mocking him, his feet set in the present, his future waiting on the other side of the glass doors.

Aw shit, Frank thought to himself. He'd let his own personal feelings get in the way of his job. The look Danny Santos had given him as the elevator doors had shut, made him wince. Damnit to hell, he should have checked with one of his men first to find out if the Santos family had been notified of the accident and mysterious circumstances surrounding it, before he had opened his mouth. The look on Danny Santos's face had been one of pure shock. Frank couldn't seem to forget it. As soon as he found out how Michelle was doing he would go to the morgue and check on the identity of the victim, and interview Danny Santos about what he knew. But, his thoughts were focused on Rick and Abby who sat tensely in the emergency waiting room, holding on to each other for dear life. Frank saw a doctor approach Rick, and he went to join him and Abby.

Rick was shaky, so was Abby. He had a million questions and thoughts swirling through his head, but he couldn't sort through any of them. His eyes had remained focused on the door of the room where they had taken Michelle. He had been watching them work feverishly for the last few minutes, and now, one of his colleagues was coming out to speak with him. He looked tense, Rick thought. He knew in his gut that it didn't look good for Michelle. As a doctor, you sometimes knew when things weren't going to work out, and the look on his colleagues face was one he knew too well.

As his friend reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, Rick waited for the grim news. He forced his over bright eyes to look directly into his friends eyes. His friend closed his eyes briefly, before looking back at Rick. Rick immediately detached himself from his surroundings. He focused inwards, ready to hear the words, but not really listening. He braced himself for the worst, and clung tighter to Abby's hand, squeezing until he could feel the bones in it crack.

"Rick, I'm sorry. I wish I had better news for you, but I don't. We are taking Michelle up to surgery right now. She was down for a long time Rick, from what I've been told, hours in the rain. We know she has suffered internal injuries, and it's obvious some fractures. She is having trouble breathing on her own, her pressure is down, her internal temp is up, her body temp is down, and her blood cultures indicate something is going on. Were gonna incubate her, and do an exploratory. As soon as we know anything, I will personally come and talk to you, O.K.? We are in no way giving up on her Rick, but I'll be honest with you when I say, it could be touch and go."

As he spoke the last few words, the swinging doors on the examining room opened outward, and a gurney was rolled out. Rick moved swiftly to it's side. He was shocked by what he saw. There lay his little sister. Her body seemed so tiny, so vulnerable, and he could barely see her face through the bruising that marred it. Her golden hair was mated with mud and debris, and she looked a caricature of herself. He took one long last look, grabbed her ice cold hand and placed a fleeting kiss on her head, as they swiftly wheeled her to the bank of elevators that led to the surgical floor. "I love you Michelle", he whispered. As the doors of the elevator closed, he and Abby stood wrapped in each other's arms, oblivious to the sights and sounds around them.

Frank walked to the now empty examining room, save for an aid who was beginning the job of cleaning up the debris left by the physicians in their haste. He spied paper wrappings, empty needle cartridges, x-ray machines, what was left of Michelle's clothes, and bloodied gauze and sheets. He shuddered at the thought of Michelle having to endure the hell she had been through in the accident, and now this. His resolve to find out who was behind this madness only grew as he looked on the now frozen tableau of the examining room. Spinning on his heel, and letting the doors swing shut, he made his way past an unseeing Rick and Abby and headed for the bank of elevators reserved for the public. As he stepped inside, he called to Rick that he would meet them in the surgical waiting room. Rick acknowledged him with a barely perceptible nod of his head. As the elevator doors closed, Frank pushed the button for the basement, knowing that there, in the morgue, he would begin to find some of the answers to the questions that were crowding his mind.

Michelle was quickly intubated when she reached surgery. As they moved her onto the operating table from the gurney, they were careful of her external injuries. Her right arm was badly broken, and her left knee was severely swollen. Her collarbone looked broken too, but these injuries were second to those that were threatening her life at this very moment. She was being administered a large volume of fluids and drugs, in hopes of keeping her blood pressure up. Things were looking so grim, they had almost administered Levophed, a drug which cut off blood to the extremities, pushing all available blood to the organs to keep them working. They had another name for it, "leave them dead", but they didn't want to risk Michelle losing any limbs from this drugs usage, which happened quite often. Instead they had administered Dopamine and Duobutamine to help stabilize her blood pressure. Fluids were being pushed, and they worked quickly, knowing that time was of the essence in situations like this. As the knife opened up her body, Rick's colleague sent up a silent prayer that he and his team would be able to save Michelle. They had the best equipment, the best surgeons, and the best drugs available, but without her body's cooperation, they had next to nothing. He silently urged her to hold on, to fight.

The sound of the elevator door's opening behind him down the corridor, gave Danny the impetus to move forward. With leaden feet, and trembling hands, he pushed open the glass doors, a whoosh of air hitting him in the face. Its odor caused him to gag. He knew it was the smell of death. He almost turned back around, but the glass doors were being pushed open by whomever had gotten out of the elevator. He was startled to see Frank Cooper. He was at a loss for words. His blood shot eyes sought Frank's, and the answering message caused a rising heat to overcome him. He could see the distaste in Frank Cooper's eyes, could feel the hate rolling off of him.

"What are you doing here Cooper? Have you come to gloat? Are you here to kick your enemy while he is down?"

"Listen Santos, I had no idea that you hadn't been notified about the accident, or the shooting. I came after you to interview you, and to be with you when you ID'd the victim", Frank responded, his tone holding a note of regret.

"I don't need to have anyone with me, Cooper. I'm a big boy, I can do this by myself.". As if Frank's words had just sunk in, Danny swung his head towards Frank and asked point blankly, "What shooting?"

"The victim found in the Limo not only suffered injuries from the crash Santos, but they also suffered a gun shot wound. My men from the field called me when the news came over the radio about the shooting. I have to investigate this as a possible murder scene now."

"I don't understand Cooper. None of this makes sense. Why wasn't my family notified about this accident in the first place? I have been driving around half the night looking for my sister, and that is what brought me to the hospital. I never thought I'd find her here, but now…"

Danny couldn't go on. He and Frank stood at the entrance to the Morgue. He couldn't bring himself to open the door. He stood transfixed, staring at the grain of the wood on the door, looking at anything but at the door handle. Moments passed before Frank reached around him and opened it.

A sense of unreality settled over Danny as he entered the room. An attendant sat at the desk, and Frank spoke with them. Danny was glad that he didn't have to talk. He didn't know if he could say anything. His voice, now seemed frozen, suspended. As Frank made arrangements for them to view the victim, Danny went over in his mind his last conversation with Pilar. She was so happy to be home, was looking forward to her time with him and Mama, but now, there was nothing to look forward too. He sent up a silent plea. A plea that Pilar had been spared, and that this nightmare would end, that he would wake up. He shut his eyes tight to complete the illusion, but when he felt a hand on his shoulder, his eyes opened to the harsh glare of reality.

"The viewing has been arranged, Santos. Do you think you can do this? Do you want someone else from your family here with you?

Danny only shook his head and nodded that he was ready to get this over with. As Frank and he were lead into a small room with a table, chairs, and a TV monitor, Danny's whole body began to shake. He wanted this over with. He was barely holding it together. A clock on the wall, ticked off the seconds in a deafening manner. Frank turned on the TV monitor, and Danny cringed at the sound of the static coming from it. Time seemed to suspend itself. He knew that when the static stopped, the body would be ready to be viewed. He prayed that the static would never end, but eventually the room became silent, a silence so loud he could hear his heart pounding. He could hear Frank speaking with someone over the TV monitor. Frank spoke to him, as if from a distance, telling him they were ready for him. It took all the effort he had to raise his head to the monitor screen. His harsh intake of air spoke volumes. He finally collapsed into a chair. His body had been so tense that his muscles ached, and his head felt like a lead balloon. He had needed only seconds to identify the victim as Pilar. Oh, my God, he thought. I'm going to faint. His body was shaking in reaction to what he'd seen. He couldn't stop the shaking. He didn't want to feel. In the instant that he had seen Pilar's shattered body, and battered face, he had died. Internally, he had shut down, externally, his body manifested all the pain he could not admit to. He heard Frank from a distance asking if the victim was someone he knew.

"That is my sister, Pilar, detective. Now, leave me the hell alone!"

Danny's vehemence and utter pain, hit at the core of Frank's humanity. Even though he hated the Santos family with a burning passion he couldn't help but feel the loss of this man. Frank could only shake his head at the salacious nature of life, that the sister of a dear friend was fighting for her life upstairs this very moment, while the sister of one of his sworn enemies was lying in the morgue.

Frank told the morgue attendant they were finished, and he quietly turned off the TV monitor. Danny sat staring at the wall, his gaze never wavering, his eyes unseeing. Frank turned on his heel and left the room, allowing Danny the time to digest what he'd just done. Asking to use the phone, he called in this new information to headquarters. Man, but this was becoming a convoluted case. He hoped that Michelle pulled through, she might be his only witness. He wanted to give as little info as possible to the press. If there were killers still out there, which his instincts told him there were, then Michelle could still be a target. He wanted to proceed very slowly and carefully with this case. He debated whether to mention Michelle to Danny Santos. Maybe his sister knew her, maybe she knew the Santos family. Frank pushed a weary hand through his hair. It was as bad a habit as his chain smoking. He should play as many angles in this case as he could, he thought. He wasn't sure who he could and couldn't trust. He certainly didn't trust the Santos family, but sooner or later he might have to find out what they knew about Michelle Bauer. God, he needed a cigarette, he thought. He couldn't smoke in the damned hospital, and he didn't know how long Santos was going to sit in that room. So, instead of smoking, he took out a jolly rancher candy, unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth. This day had only just begun, but he knew it just might turn out to be one of the longest days of his life.

The source of Michelle's main internal injury was found almost immediately. Her liver had been lacerated in the accident and as the surgeons worked to repair the damage they knew that in all probability she would struggle with multiple sepsis. Infection was the worst enemy of a patient who was brought into surgery with internal injuries. Michelle also had a nick in her large bowel, and the surgeons worked methodically to find any other damage. When the surgery was finished and the last stitches taken, the lead surgeon took a deep breath of air. Michelle had made it this far. That was something in itself, but she was only beginning her journey towards recovery. The next forty eight to seventy two hours were the most critical. He wanted to assure Rick and his wife Abby that Michelle would recover fine from these injuries, but her condition was still critical and would remain so for the next few day's, at the minimum.

As Michelle was wheeled into the SICU, he went to discuss her condition with Rick and Abby in the waiting room. He had already sketched out the game plan for Michelle's treatment with the SICU team that would be taking care of her. They were some of the best in his opinion and so he left Michelle in their capable hands and went to speak to Rick.

He found them looking out the windows at the cleanly washed morning, watching people scurrying back and forth between their cars in the parking lot and the hospital, and medical buildings surrounding it. He sometimes forgot that a whole different world existed outside the walls of the hospital. He practically lived and breathed his work. This place was his own insular world, and he knew that many of the medical professionals who worked here felt the same way. Striding over to Rick, he gently touched his arm. Rick turned slowly towards him, looking for hope in his friends eyes. When he saw that hope, he let go of the sigh he had held for the last few hours. He knew Michelle had made it this far, and for now,that was enough for him.

"Rick, and Abby, Michelle had a lacerated liver and she suffered some trauma to her large bowel. We were able to repair the obvious damage, but you know the risks now Rick. I've discussed her condition with the SICU team and we felt it would be in her best interest to be put in a coma so that she can fight whatever infection she may have suffered from her internal injuries.

Abby couldn't keep silent, at the thought of Michelle in a coma. "Why Rick, why does Michelle have to be put in a coma?" Her anguish was palpable.

Rick drew her close, wiping her tears away. "It's OK honey, the coma will help Michelle fight the infection from her injuries. It will slow her organs down, giving them time to fight and heal. She's made it this far, let's not give up, OK? Please say, OK." Abby nodded her head, her tears falling fast, thinking of how helpless Michelle would be, how alone, how so removed from them. She wanted to touch her, to feel her, to hold her. She wanted to tell her that she loved her, that she was here for her.

Rick's colleague told them they could have a minute with her, and reminded them not to be shocked by what they saw. Even though Rick was a doctor, this patient was his sister, and there was no objectivity in that. He lead them into the SICU and waited outside the cubicle while they went in to see her.

Abby couldn't stop her hand from shaking as she touched Michelle's hand. Michelle was on a ventilator, and it's rhythmic hiss was the only visible sign that Michelle was alive. She was so still. Her body was bruised and looked strangely unreal. Michelle was connected to IV's, catheters and monitors, and Abby was afraid to touch her lest she break her. She and Rick spent few precious moments with her, until they made their way out, and faced the unknown together.

Danny forced himself to get up, and make his way out of the room. He wanted to go find Pilar, and take her from this place. He couldn't stomach the thought of her lying in the dark, in a body bag, cold and alone. Exiting the room, it took everything within him not to go and find her. He ached to be with her, to change places with her. He wanted it to be him lying in the morgue, not her, not her.

Frank was waiting for him, barely leashed tension emanating from him.

"When can I get my sister out of here, Cooper.? I don't want her here any longer than is necessary, do you understand that?" Danny's voice was shaking with barely repressed fury.

"As soon as the coroner has taken all the evidence he needs, you can make arrangements for your sister. You may not believe this Santos', but I am sorry for your loss." Danny could only nod his head in assent, he had nothing further to say to Det. Cooper.

I need to ask you something, Santos? We found another victim at the accident scene." At this news, Danny's head snapped back.

"Who was it, was it our driver Jimmy?" Danny demanded?

Narrowing his eyes at Danny, Frank responded, "No, it wasn't your driver, it was the daughter of a prominent family of this community. Her name is Michelle Bauer. Do you know her?"

Danny could only look at Frank with bewilderment in his eyes. "I've heard of the Bauer family. I know that the father and son have been on staff at this hospital, but I didn't know there was a daughter. I can't think if my sister knew her, I just can't even think", he freely admitted.

"Well, you're right, their family is one of the founding families of Springfield. They are good, upstanding people, and she is upstairs right now fighting for her life, all because she somehow got caught up with the likes of you and your family", Frank spit!

Danny lunged at Frank, grabbing him by the collar. Frank sneered at him. "Go ahead Santos', take your best shot. I'd love nothing better than throwing your ass in jail for assault today, but seeing that the circumstances are what they are, I'll cut you some slack. But watch your back, I'm just waiting for you to screw up!"

Danny pushed away from Frank forcefully, quelling the rage that had been simmering, but now was reaching the boiling point. "If I am done detective, I would like to leave now, to go take care of my family. Contrary to what you may believe, my sister is a well loved and cherished member of my family. I don't have time for your vendettas, I don't have anyone to visit upstairs, instead I get to go plan a funeral, so save your holier than thou's for some other time!" Danny turned, and began to walk out the doors when Frank's voice stopped him.

"I'll be in touch Santos' when I have more information. This investigation is far from over, so stick around!"

Danny raised his hand halfway in a mocking salute, pushed open the doors and continued down the corridor. He didn't take a breath until he had reached the safety of the elevator. As the doors closed he slumped against the wall, wishing to God that he could somehow change time, or destiny, or both. When the elevator reached the main floor, for some reason he didn't go towards the main entrance. Something drew him to the main desk where he inquired what floor the surgical ward was on. He told the receptionist that his cousin had been brought in earlier and he had just arrived from out of town after hearing the news of her accident.

"Who is your cousin?", she asked. "Her name is Michelle Bauer", he responded. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry Mr. Bauer. She's on the 7th floor in the SICU. We love Michelle in the hospital, and we're all pulling for her. I just know she'll be OK."

She was young and her enthusiasm, and her obvious sincerity made Danny feel better for some reason. Whoever this Michelle Bauer was, she was well liked, he could tell. He had to know who she was, he had to see her. Thanking the young woman, he made his way again to the bank of waiting elevators. Where as, only moments before, he had been contemplating death in this elevator, he now thought of a life, one that for how ever long had been connected to his sister. With renewed determination, he rode the elevator to the 7th floor, disembarking and ending up at the nurses station. Telling the nurse that he was an out of town relative, she told him that he had just missed Dr. Bauer and his wife who had gone down to the cafeteria to try to eat something. He thanked her for the information, but asked if he could see his cousin. It was highly unusual, she responded, but since he was related to the Bauer family, she guessed it wouldn't hurt. Leading him to Michelle's cubicle, she told him he could only have a few moments. Thanking her, he paused at the entrance.

As he made his way tentatively to her bedside, he was struck by her stillness, and the cacophony of sounds around her. The ventilator breathed in and out for her, and the heart monitor sent out a steady pulse. He noticed her pale skin, and her rich honeyed hair, what he could see of it. He half smiled to himself, noticing her curls. Pilar had always wanted curls, curls like Shirley Temple. He remembered the tantrum she had thrown when being told that her hair was like a waterfall of silk, and that that was better than curls. Pain stabbed at him with this memory. He wondered why he was here, why wasn't he at home, with his mother? He didn't have any answers.

Reaching out a trembling hand, he just wanted to touch this young woman, who may have touched his sister last. Taking her fragile hand in his, he held onto it, held on for dear life, and the tears came suddenly, and they were wrenched from his soul. He held her hand close to his cheek and cried as he had never cried before. The young nurse who was coming to tell him that his time with Michelle was up, couldn't interrupt the heartbreaking scene she had become a silent witness to. She quietly made her way from the room, and found herself wiping tears from her own eyes. As she noiselessly went about her business, she couldn't help but hear the anguish in his sobs, and her heart ached for his pain.