Meant to Be
      Chapter 10
 

I quietly open the door to mama’s room and attempt to sneak in unnoticed. It doesn’t work. She’s sitting in a chair waiting for me, a look of fear and disappointment etched about her face as she stares out the window watching the morning sun peak over the horizon. I turn my head and quickly wipe the falling tears from my cheeks and struggle to make my voice sound as normal as possible. I fail miserably. My voice is strained and the words don’t come easy.

“Mama. I….I’m sorry I’m so late. I didn’t mean to worry you.” The silence is deafening.

“Mama?” I slowly walk towards her, kneel down and gently place my hand on her knee.

“Mama? Please talk to me.” I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say to her. My heart aches that I’ve disappointed her so, but my actions were beyond my control. My tears are flowing freely now and I’m helpless to stop them. One by one they splash onto mama’s light pink nightgown changing the color of the threads. I rise to leave her be and she speaks – her voice soft and quivering.

“You were with him last night.” It is a statement, not a question. I kneel back down to her level. Ashamed, I lower my eyes and answer her.

“Yes.” It’s not what she wanted to hear. Her muscles tense and her eyes close. She raises a hand to stroke my hair in the most loving way and I place my cheek on her tear stained gown. I feel the softness of her fingers as they glide across my skin and I revel in their motherly warmth. I feel so safe.

“I love him mama. I love him and I left him. I had to leave him.”

She lifts my chin and I must face her. I see the understanding in her eyes. She knows I was with Danny last night. She knows my innocence is gone – lost forever to a man I can never have. Her own tears are flowing now and she cups my face in her hands and whispers. “I know. I know.”

My tears turn to sobs and I bury my head in her lap as my body shakes. She continues to stroke my hair until the tears have subsided and my body is relaxed. A few silent minutes pass and we finally rise. Her eyes are sad and she forces me to look at her. I turn away not wanting to hear it. I know what she’s going to say. The tears come again as she begins to speak the words I know are so true.

“You must leave here now Michelle. You must pack your things and go back to school and forget he ever existed. He’s made a commitment to his family that he can never turn back on Michelle. Do you understand? Do you? No matter how much he loves you and you him, you can never be together. Never. You must fight to resist him with everything you have Michelle – everything. Right now, no one knows about last night and it must remain that way, but if they find out Michelle, you’re as good as dead. Do you hear me? He will destroy you and any future you have at a normal life. Now, pack your things and get going. If I know Danny, he’ll come looking for you and you must be gone before he gets here.”

My feet are like lead. I battle to move my legs, but my heart is willing them to stay put. Mama grabs me by the hand and leads me to the bed. She pulls out my suitcase and begins packing for me. All I can do is sit. I’m numb with the realization that I will never see him again. Never. My love, my life, my Danny. My suitcase is packed and mama shoves it in my hands along with her car keys. I’m trying to listen to what she’s saying, but my heart is breaking and the sound of it is reverberating throughout my head. She gives me a hundred dollar bill and instructs me to drive into town, buy a ticket and take a bus back to school. I’m to leave her car in the parking lot of the bus station and she will have another maid take her to pick it up. She quickly walks me to the car and we tearfully kiss goodbye. I watch mama in the rearview mirror as I drive away, the Santos mansion shrinking behind me as I press the gas. As I near the gate to turn onto the highway, I glance back one last time. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his black jaguar speeding down the side road kicking up a trail of dust. He slides sideways as he hits the driveway and speeds to the house. I know he’s coming after me, but I am gone. I gather all the strength my body has left, remember Mama’s words and press the gas leaving Danny Santos behind forever.