Meant to Be
      Chapter 8
 

My mother is yelling at Danny. I quickly put on my robe and sit down on the floor next to the door. I reach up to quietly turn the knob and pray that the door doesn’t creek. My prayer is answered and it barely opens a fraction of an inch - just enough for me to hear some words being spoken. Mama’s really reading Danny the riot act! I can’t help but giggle to myself. I know what it’s like to get a good tongue lashing from her.

“Perhaps you wanted to see my daughter naked, is that it?"

“Yes. No! God No Maureen! I mean I just……….

What!? What was that he just said??? I gasp and quickly throw my hand over my mouth. Oh my God! Did he just tell my mother he wanted to see me naked???

I strain to listen closer while scolding myself for thinking in my head. My thoughts are drowning out the conversation and I’m missing half of what’s being said.

“For Godssake Daniel! You are an engaged man! What are you thinking?”

My eyes grow wide and I quickly recall a part of our conversation this morning that I had forgotten.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“No. I kiss my fiancee with this mouth – and she happens looovvve it.”

Suddenly I feel the acidic bile burning my esophagus as it rises up to meet my throat. I try to swallow it back, but without success. I need water. I make my way over to the vanity and turn the faucet on and primitively drink from my hands. I splash my face with cold water while that filthy word rings in my ear…… fiancee, fiancee, fiancee. All hope is gone. I raise my head to look in the mirror and it’s covered with steam. I wipe it away with my forearm and glaring back at me is a hazy image of a girl I don’t recognize. What have I been doing? What have I been thinking? My actions since this morning have practically been bordering on disgraceful! I haven’t the slightest inkling what has gotten into me. I close my eyes and shake my head. Don’t kid yourself Michelle. You know very well what’s gotten into you. Danny. In 12 short hours this man has managed to bury himself so deep in you, you’ve lost your way. I realize I’ve been playing a deadly game of Russian Roulette with a man I don’t even know. A man who’s very obviously pledged his love and life to someone else. Someone who’s not me. I dry my face and walk back to the door which is still cracked open and continue my eavesdropping.

“When and if she ever comes out of that bathroom, could you tell her I'm sorry?"

"Yes Daniel, I'll tell her."

"Thank you Maureen. Thank you."

I hear the door gently close and slowly retreat from the bathroom. My mother is standing with her hand on her chest as if she’s clutching her heart.

“Is he gone Mama?”

She turns around and looks at me sympathetically. “Yes sweetie. He’s gone. Are you o.k.?”

“Yeah Mama, I’m fine,……..I’m fine.”

She sits down on the bed and pats the spot next to her. “Come sit sweetie. I want to talk to you.”

I inch my way to the bed. Instinctively, I know what’s coming. Pushing back a lock of hair from my face, she takes a deep breath and begins. “Michelle honey, I know you don’t think I’ve noticed what’s been going on between you and Daniel, but I have.

“Mama…”

“Let me speak please.”

I know to keep my mouth shut. “He’s engaged Michelle. Engaged.” There’s that filthy word again. “Her name is Theresa Rivera and her family is as powerful and ruthless as the Santos’. Danny claims he doesn’t love her, that this engagement is just an arrangement between the two families, but he’s still engaged nonetheless. So you see Michelle, nothing good can come of this attraction you have for each other, absolutely nothing.”

I sit in silence and listen to the experienced words of this wise woman. I know she speaks the truth, but my heart is screaming otherwise. A single tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. I close my eyes and revel in the softness of my mother’s finger as she gently and lovingly wipes it away. “You are my life Michelle Bauer and I want so much for you, but trust me when I say that Danny Santos isn’t what you need. You deserve so much happiness and I know it’s out there, you just have to grab for it.” She lightly cups my cheeks in a way that only a mother can do and forces me to look into her eyes. “Now you listen to me, and listen good. You’ll go back to school tomorrow, throw yourself into your studies and you’ll forget him. Eventually you’ll meet someone that will fill your heart with love and joy and you’ll look back on this and realize I was right. Agreed?”

“Agreed Mama. Agreed.” Her words ring true, yet I still know what I must do. I need to see him one last time to clear some things up before I leave in the morning. I will muster up all the strength I have to fight my feelings and I will put an end to this impossible fantasy tonight.