Not Always What They Seem
Chapters 1 - 5
 

 He noticed her the moment he walked into Psych class. Her smile drew him in immediately, and he often wondered what it would be like to run his fingers through her beautiful curly hair. One day, he overheard someone tell her a joke. The sound of her laughter was one of the most amazing things he had ever heard.

She was a good student. Not many undergraduates were compelled to take on a graduate level psychology class, especially those in pre-med. However, she loved a challenge. She always had, whether it was developing the AIDS garden at Cedars or helping Jesse to experience the magic of the written word through Romeo and Juliet. She always sat near the front of the room to make sure she didn't miss anything. As usual, he gravitated toward the back of the room. From an early age, he had been taught to blend in with the crowd. In his family, anonymity was an ally.

Today, he sat waiting outside the Psychology department. His professor was studying how people interpret visual stimuli. Each person in the class had been assigned a partner at random, using the last four digits of his or her social security number. Partners were asked to meet to look at a set of inkblots and record what they thought about each one.

He looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. It read "1198." He coughed. Sick with bronchitis for the past two days, he could barely talk, but this professor was not a flexible man. On top of that, he was also his advisor. If he still wanted to graduate with honors, it would not be a good idea to tick this man off.

Suddenly, he became aware of someone walking toward him. The figure seemed familiar to him, but for a second, he couldn't place why. As the person came closer, he recognized the curls. He'd know those curls anywhere. It was her.

She walked up to the man sitting on the bench. She knew that he sat in the back of the room in class and usually didn't say much. He was dressed in black, from his shoes to his leather jacket. She felt a slight twinge of anxiety. He looked so cold, dangerous almost. Was this her partner?

"Number 7299?" she asked, trying to cover the hesitation in her voice.

"That's me," he replied. He stood and held out his hand. "You must be 1198. I'm Danny, Danny Santos."

She accepted his hand and was surprised by its warmth. He had a nice smile, and his eyes seemed to dance with life. She felt the twinge ease a little. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Michelle Bauer."

He allowed his smile to get a little bigger, but not big enough to give himself away. Michelle. The figure now had a name.

"Ready to stare at some inkblots?"

Inkblots wouldn't be the only thing he'd be staring at. He opened the door for her. "By all means," he said.

They walked through the door, down a narrow hallway, and found another bench waiting for them outside of the testing area. The door to the testing room was closed, so they sat down to wait. After a moment, Danny spoke.

"So, what are you studying?"

Michelle gave him a small smile, which made Danny have to work to conceal his all the more. "I thought the idea of this experiment was to watch two random people react to each other."

"Come on. I don't think our professor's study is going to be destroyed just because I asked you what your major is." He laughed.

"All right, I guess one question won't hurt. I'm pre-med."

"Pre-med? You mean you're not in graduate school?"

"No, I'm auditing this class in addition to my regular coursework. I think it's important for doctors to be aware of what their patients are feeling." She stopped, afraid that she had told him too much. Danny was surprised. And impressed.

"How about you?"

"I'm working on my MBA. I should graduate in June."

"That's great. What sort of work do you do? Wait…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that."

Danny momentarily thanked God for whatever rock He had hidden Michelle under all of these years. He recognized her last name, but she hadn't been aware of his. The Bauers were one of the founding families of Springfield society. The Santoses were…well, everyone in Springfield knew who the Santoses were and what they did for a living. Everyone, it seemed, except Michelle.

"It's OK." He didn't want her to feel bad. "I won't tell if you won't. I'm in the import-export business."

At that moment, the door opened and two people walked out of the testing room. When they had passed them, Michelle and Danny stood up. Danny gestured for Michelle to go ahead of him. He followed her and closed the door behind them. The only furniture in the room was a rectangular table and two chairs, one at each end. In the middle of the table were a manila envelope and a tape recorder. Michelle chose the chair nearest the door, so Danny walked to the other side of the table, picking up the envelope as he went.

"Let's see, what do we have here?"

Inside the envelope were four sets of inkblots, labeled A, B, C, and D, and a set of instructions. They were to begin by turning on the tape recorder and identifying themselves with their number. Then they were each to take a copy of Inkblot A and tell what they saw. This would continue with Inkblots B, C, and D. When they were done, all they had to do was shut off the tape recorder and return the inkblots to the envelope.

"Sounds simple enough," Danny said. "You ready?" He coughed loudly.

"Sure, but you sound terrible. Are you up for this?"

Danny smiled and waved her question away with his hand.

"Don't worry about it. It's just a cough."

He reached out and pushed the red "record" button down. They both said their numbers, then he handed her Inkblot A. It was a fat, almost circular shape with wavy edges. Danny said that it reminded him of clouds, while it made Michelle think of a pond at Laurel Falls that she used to visit as a child.

"It was always very quiet there. I used to sit by the water and daydream a lot." She smiled sheepishly and bit her lip, a little embarrassed that she had admitted that to a perfect stranger. As she talked, Danny marveled at her beauty and the sincerity of her words. He couldn't get over how stunning she was.

Inkblot B was a long, rectangular figure with curves on each side. Danny glanced at it, then looked directly at Michelle and spoke in a soft voice.

"I think it looks like two people making love."

His response startled her, but it wasn't what he said that caught her off guard, it was how he said it. She couldn't tell if his words affected her because he was sick or if there was another reason, but all of a sudden, she felt very warm. She quickly reached over and turned off the tape recorder.

His hand reached out and touched hers. "I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no," she stammered, trying to find words. His touch was gentle and his hand was warm. She let her hand linger in his for just a second, but then pulled it away.

"I, I just wasn't expecting you to say that. She still felt warm and hoped that she wasn't blushing. "Look, I've got a biology study group at four. I'd really appreciate it if we could wrap this up."

They finished the rest of the experiment, then returned the inkblots to their envelope. As she was walking out the door, Danny reached over and lightly touched Michelle on the shoulder. She turned to look at him.

"Thanks for being a great lab partner, Michelle."

She stood there for a moment, admiring the kindness in his eyes.

"You're welcome, Danny. You were great, too. I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Yes, he said smiling, you will."

Music blared all around her, but Michelle was oblivious to it all. She stirred her club soda absentmindedly with her straw. The sound of Danny's voice echoed in her head, and she couldn't help but smile.

"You look like the cat that swallowed the canary." Drew interrupted Michelle's thoughts. "What gives?"

"Nothing," Michelle laughed, attempting to change the subject. "How are things going around here?"

"Nice try, Michelle, but that smile is big enough to break your face. I sense juicy gossip. Talk!" Drew sat down.

"It's really nothing, Drew." Drew crossed her legs. It was obvious she wasn't going anywhere. Michelle relented. "I met a guy today, OK? Are you happy now?"

Drew leaned in closer. "Now we're getting somewhere. What's he like?"

"Well…" Michelle pictured Danny as she spoke. "He's tall, with curly hair and dark eyes. His voice isn't bad either." Michelle giggled slightly, feeling for a moment as though she was in grade school.

"What's his name?" Drew said, the anticipation heavy in her voice.

"Danny Santos." At the mention of Danny's name, Drew jumped back in her chair. As she did so, she accidentally knocked over Michelle's drink, sending club soda onto the floor and into Michelle's lap.

"Michelle, Santos? Are you sure that's his last name?" Drew felt all the color drain from her face.

Michelle looked up as she blotted her lap with napkins. "Yeah, Drew. What's the matter?"

"Santos, Michelle. Santos! God, you know I love you, but sometimes you have to take your head out of those school books and join us in the real world!"
Drew's remark stung Michelle. "Hey, don't talk to me like I'm an idiot! Why am I sitting here with a lap full of club soda listening to you screaming your head off? And what does Danny have to do with it?"

Drew lowered her voice. "Michelle, you've heard of Carmen Santos right?"

"Drew, who hasn't heard of Carmen Santos?"

"Carmen Santos has three children, Mick, Pilar, and Daniel.

Michelle felt as though she had been punched in the stomach. He couldn't be, he just couldn't be.

"You've got this guy confused with someone else, Drew. The Danny Santos I know isn't a mobster. He's in graduate school getting his
MBA. He works in the import-export business."

"Michelle, just what do you think he's busy importing and exporting?"

As Drew and Michelle talked, Danny walked into Millennium. The club had been in Springfield for awhile, but this was the first time that Danny had bothered to check it out. He ordered a shot of tequila and sat down at the bar. He gave the room a cursory glance, but his gaze quickly focused on a set of telltale curls. Danny could not believe his good fortune. Twice in one day. He smiled, picked up his drink, and began to walk toward her.

Michelle was suddenly aware of a figure standing over her left shoulder.

"Just wanted to say hi to my favorite lab partner," he teased.

She turned to face him, and the look on her face gave her away. As soon as he saw it, he knew that his attempt at anonymity had failed.
His secret was out.

"Excuse me, I was just leaving." Michelle stood up quickly.

"Michelle, wait." He reached for her arm, but she pushed his hand away and headed for the door. He threw the drink on the table and turned to follow her. While she wasn't running, she could hear him behind her, so she increased the pace of her steps.

"Michelle!"

He reached for her again as they crossed the parking lot and this time he was successful. "Michelle, let me explain." He swung her around gently so that she was facing him. He didn't want to scare her, but it was too late. He could see the look of fear in her eyes.

"Danny, if you don't let go of me right now, I swear to God I will scream bloody murder!"

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. He released his grip and took two steps away from her. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"It's OK, Michelle. I promise I won't touch you again."

"What do you want?" she said, trying to get hold of the panic in her voice.

"I told you. I just wanted to say hi, that's all." He tried to take a step toward her, but she backed further away from him, so he stopped where he was. "I had a really good time today and I thought you did too. What's changed?" Danny knew exactly what had changed, but he needed to hear her say it.

"Today was for school. Besides, now I know!"

"What do you know?" Danny kept his voice very calm.

"I know all about you, your mother, and your family!" Michelle practically spat out the last word.

"Michelle, it's true that Carmen Santos is my mother and that my family does do some business here in Springfield. But do you also know that my cousin is a priest at the same church where I served as an altar boy? Do you know that I visit my grandmother every Saturday? She loves chocolate and she's not supposed to have it, but sometimes I bring it anyway just to see the smile on her face. Do you know that my sister's away at boarding school and I miss her like crazy?"

As he spoke, Danny cautiously approached Michelle, careful to keep his voice low and even. She watched him coming toward her, but didn't feel the urge to run anymore. She allowed him to come closer and closer, until his forehead could almost touch hers. He reached up and slowly caressed her cheek with his thumb. She didn't push his hand away.

"Do you know, Michelle Bauer, how beautiful you are?"

She allowed herself to enjoy the moment for just an instant before pulling away again.

"You lied to me."

"What?"

"Danny, you said you work in the import-export business."

"Michelle, my family does ship things in and out of Springfield."

"Yeah, like drugs, I'll bet."

"No!" Danny's voice quickly became angry. "My family does not get involved in that!"

Drugs would never become part of the Santos Family empire. Not after what had happened with Mick.

"What are you involved in, Danny? Money Laundering? Smuggling?" After she had asked the question, Michelle wasn't sure if she really wanted an answer.

"It's complicated, Michelle."

"It's not complicated, Danny. It's illegal."

"Michelle, life is not always black and white, and things aren't always what they seem. A few hours ago, you and I were having a good time talking about our majors and looking at inkblots. Now someone mentions my mother to you and you treat me like I'm the Devil incarnate."

"So, you're telling me that you have nothing to do with what goes on in your family's business?"

"No, I'm telling you that there are things that you don't understand."

She hated feeling like she was being patronized, even if she was talking to a member of the Mafia.

"Enlighten me, then."

"Someday, maybe, but not here and not now. This is not the type of thing people chat about in a bar."

He held her face in his hands, finally experiencing the feel of her hair on his fingertips.

"There's more to me than just a name, Michelle." With that, Danny turned and walked away.

Danny sat at his mother's desk, thinking. He had skipped class for two days, just so he wouldn't have to look at Michelle. He knew that he should just forget her. She was full of questions about a world that she knew nothing about. She had said she wanted "enlightenment," but how would he explain the conversation that his mother had had with him when he was fourteen? How would he explain about Mick?
Michelle had accused the Santos Family of being involved in drugs, but Carmen would never allow that, no matter how profitable it might be. Mick had been shot in a botched FBI raid at the docks two years ago. He had been high on heroin at the time and was totally surprised by the raid. He pulled his gun and fired, the FBI pulled their guns and fired, and in a blink of an eye, Mick's life was over.

Carmen was getting a lot of flak from the other families about her reluctance to enter the drug trade. The word was that Carmen was weak. Mick's death was unfortunate, the families said, but she must move on. Drugs were just business. Danny knew that his mother would never believe that. He opened the false bottom in Carmen's bottom right desk drawer and pulled out a picture. Caroline would always make drugs very personal.

Caroline was Mick's daughter and the first Santos grandchild. She had been born a year before Mick's death. Mick had gotten a girl pregnant and addicted to drugs. He had managed to keep it all a secret until the woman went into premature labor in her seventh month. Danny recalled how livid Carmen was when she found out. He remembered how she screamed at Mick for allowing his "dirty habit" to harm her grandchild. As usual, she took care of everything. She had the woman moved to a hospital outside of town, then gave her a large amount of money to disappear.

Caroline was very small and completely addicted to heroin. As he stroked the picture of her tiny body, Danny pictured how she would shake violently in her incubator and cry at the slightest touch. He only saw her twice, but Carmen went to be with her every day for the next three months. Caroline was a fighter, but in the end, the drug dependency and other complications from her early arrival proved to be too much for her. Ray performed a private ceremony and Caroline was buried in the family plot near her grandfather and later, her father.
Carmen was heartbroken and never spoke of Caroline again. The picture in Danny's hands was supposed to be Carmen's secret, but Danny discovered her with it one day. She had thought that she was by herself, and Danny did nothing to make her believe otherwise. When his mother was out, Danny would often look at the picture himself and think of his niece, much as he was doing right now. Carmen would never allow the poison that stole her grandchild from her to come into her business. Never! His fingers traced the edge of the frame as he thought back to his conversation with Michelle at Millennium. "Things are not always what they seem, Michelle," he repeated softly.