Trust Me
      Chapter 6
 

The sky was gray and it was cold. Springfield's Indian summer had come and gone. A storm was brewing. The clouds cast ugly shadows on the ground. Michelle watched from the car window as they made their way to the church for Pilar's funeral mass.

Her heart felt heavy from the sadness and she searched deep within herself to find the courage to be strong for Danny. She didn't want him to worry about her. There was enough on his mind already.

Two long days had gone by. It that time, Michelle had watched the normally dark Santos house become darker. There was a silence that grew unbearable as each day passed. Time had not stopped. Meals were eaten and meetings were held, there was a constant flow of people coming to pay their respects to the family, but the presence of the dogs and heavily armed men were reminders that life in their home would never be the same.

Breakfast that morning had been awkward. The cooks had prepared a massive buffet. There was fruit of all kinds, scrambled eggs, pancakes and bagels, yet no one had eaten. In silence they sat around the table drinking coffee, lost in their own thoughts. Michelle avoided Carmen's eyes. She was afraid of what she would see in them. On this day, she knew Carmen was thinking of her daughter and of her son...Mick.

"The horror of having to bury two children..."

Danny's silence was the worst. He had barely said anything to her since she'd come home. Their time together had been spent among the relatives and friends of the family. At night he'd climb into bed and fall asleep as soon as his head hit his pillow. There were so many questions. "Why did this happen?" "Who did this?" "What are we going to do?" She hadn't been able to ask him anything. In fact, she was afraid to ask. There was a look in Danny's eyes that she hated to see. It reminded her of things she didn't want to remember.

Then there was Pilar. In the past few months they had become friends. The night before, Michelle had gone to Pilar's room. Nothing had been touched. It was as Pilar had left it. She had found a pile of clothes in the closet. Discarded choices. Amongst the heap, Michelle had found one of her own blouses. Smiling she had picked it up and held it to her. Automatically, she reached for a hanger.

"Don't do that." Carmen's voice surprised her. She was sitting in the window seat.

"Oh! Carmen. I'm sorry. I..."

"Don't touch her things."

"You're right. I'll go...", she turned to leave.

"You liked her. Didn't you Michelle?" Carmen's voice was sad. Michelle wasn't used to hearing Carmen speak in such a quiet tone.

"Yes! Oh yes. She was fun. We laughed a lot..." She smiled recalling the times that would never be again.

"I never thought I'd lose her. Not like this."

Michelle remained silent. For the first time, since she had met her, she felt like hugging her Mother-in-law. Carmen looked small. It was strange to think of her that way.

"I don't know how to comfort you." , she thought to herself.

Finding her voice Michelle said, "Carmen, she loved you. She did. You know that."

Carmen had sat there quietly clutching one of Pilar's stuffed animals in her hands. After some time Michelle had left her with her memories. It was shocking to see her so vulnerable. She was more afraid of Carmen's actions once anger overcame her sadness.

The Church had been full with business associates, family and friends. There were flowers everywhere. Their different scents mixing to form an overwhelming aroma. It made Michelle dizzy. Though the pews were full, there was an unnatural quiet. All she heard was the slap of her heels against the marble floor. "Slap....Slap...Slap..."

Pilar's casket was covered in White Lilies. It sat in front of the altar where Father Tomas stood waiting for them to find their seat. Ray was behind the altar, his face reflecting the pain of the family. He had originally wanted to perform the mass, but instead had chosen to eulogize his cousin.

Through it all Danny remained stoic. He hadn't cried since the night Michelle came to him. It scared Michelle.

At the cemetery it had begun to rain. Thunder clapped loudly. Only the immediate family was invited to attend. In a small group, they huddled under black umbrellas as Father Tomas lead them in prayer and Pilar's casket was interred.

"...Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me..."*

"Another Santos death."

Michelle couldn't help but think that it could have, just as easily, been Danny being laid to rest. She prayed for God to keep him safe and for Danny to find peace.

"God Please keep my husband safe. Free him from this hatred. Please give me the strength to help him be strong. Let him accept this. Please stop this violence. Please..."

Five weeks later it was business as usual at the Santos home.

Michelle had been right about Carmen. The sadness had turned to anger and now she was on the war path. No one was safe from her scathing remarks. The servants ran around trying to make things right and Michelle avoided her at all costs.

Danny had been so involved in the business that she rarely saw him. They had dinner together every now and then, but he was distant and Michelle didn't know how to reach him.

He had been gone for four days now. Four days and not one phone call. Two nights in a row Carmen had casually mentioned, "Danny called today..." She now found even more pleasure in taunting Michelle. It was her way of deflecting the pain. On the third day Michelle had opted to skip dinner all together.

She knew he was in Chicago. At least that was where he told her he was going. For four days she had been going crazy with worry, fear and finally disappointment. She was too tired to be angry. The disappointment ate at her soul.

"We promised to trust each other. There weren't going to be any secrets..."

Feeling lonely and desperate for some comfort Michelle decided to go to Abuela Santos. Michelle had been spending a lot of time with her. Most of the time they spoke of him. Abuela coped with the tragedy by visiting her memories of her grandchildren. She told stories and revealed things about Danny that Michelle would never have known.

"Danny, he's a special man. He protects those he loves. At times, the need he feels to keep you, his mother, me and Pi...Pilar safe consumes him. You can see it in his eyes. The desperation. He's been like that for a long time. When my son died, he took Danny's freedom with him..."

"Hola abuela."

"Michelle! Hola!"

"Como esta?"

"I'm fine my dear. A bit tired and older of course but...", the old woman laughed and her whole body shook.

"Well, I feel old myself today..." Michelle tried laughing her feelings away.

"Ah! Daniel has been working hard. You're lonely."

"I know he's busy and things are so difficult around here as it is. He's gone so much and we haven't had a conversation in weeks. I don't know what's going on."

"You know Michelle sometimes it's best to sit back and wait for things to happen, other times one must make things happen. I am surprised you haven't gone to welcome your husband home."

"Welcome him home? Danny's home? When?"

"The cars arrived a little while ago. Go to him. You've been spending too much time with me. Go."

"No. He knows I'm here. Why hasn't he come to find me? Did you know he never even called me the whole time he was gone?"

"Mija, listen to this old lady who knows. Swallow your pride. You need to see your husband. Now go."

Michelle had reluctantly left the room.

"Well Danny, I guess it's now or never..."

As she left Abuela Santos hoped Michelle was ready to know the truth. She had seen the questions in Michelle's eyes. She knew her grandson was protecting his wife, but at what cost, she wondered.

Danny sat at the conference table with his mother and John Vasquez. The four days in Chicago had been tiring. Nothing had been accomplished. Dietz had disappeared and no one was talking. Carmen was getting impatient. As was evidenced by her tirade...

"Danny. I was willing to let you handle this situation, but..."

"Mother, what do you want me to do? Dietz can't hide forever. Someone will talk.", he shouted.

"Daniel, I think someone of more experience should do this.", Carmen met his shouts with her own.

"More experience? No. I'll take care of this. No." He was getting angrier.

"Danny, I've already contacted Bernard. He's got his people working on this..."

"NO! Pilar was my sister, MY sister!"

"Danny, Danny listen to me. I know you wanted to do this because of your sister, but this matter has to be resolved. NOW!"

"This is my responsibility. I won't let you take this away from me."

"No one is taking this away from you. Bernard's people can..."

John tried to intervene, "Danny, what harm can it do? Let Bernard do some of the leg work. You've got other things on your mind too."

John Vasquez had been at Danny's side since the explosion. In his mind,  Pilar and Miguel's death was his fault. He had prided himself on offering > the Santos family the best security possible. He had failed at his job and > deep down he wanted to handle Dietz on his own. He liked Danny and it > bothered him to see the intent in Danny's eyes. Every time he looked at Danny he saw murder. Now it was his mission to keep Danny's hands clean.

Danny got up and strode towards the door. He was furious. He was accountable for Pilar. His sister was dead and no one but him was going to take care of Dietz. He wanted to see him suffer for what he had done. Danny knew that if Bernard's people were involved it meant he would be called at the last minute to finish the deed. He wanted to be the one to start it. Dietz was going to be his.

"NO! Dietz is mine." He slammed the door behind him and ran smack into his wife...

* From Psalm 23