wren_january-embers

JANUARY EMBERS by Wren

She was working as a clerk in a convenience store in the dodgy side of town. One particularly boring evening, as she was blasting "Gay bar" by Electric Six on the stereo, she was cleaning up the place for her boss to see tomorrow morning. She had a good six hours to go, but better to get started on it now.

A man wearing a black leather jacket walks in. He's kinda chunkish, with a patchy beard. She didn't really think much of him, but the way he said hello as he walked in immediately told her he wasn't from here.

For one, people usually grunt upon approach, if any approach at all. Number two, if they say anything at all, it's usually about trying to get her in the cooler to make time. The guys that came here during her shift were usually sleazy and frightening, and usually were involved in shady dealings. She'd spend one night with them at least once a week, and she'd never see them again. They'd always have something for her. Drugs or sex, it was all the same to our heroine. It provided her with a sort of fix, depending on the substance.

Every week it was a new person. This person seems well-off, she thought to herself.

"Could I please get a pack of Marlboro Lights in a box?" That accent was so Welsh, she thought to herself. Poor guy must be lost.
"Got ID?" Hey, it's an instinct.
The man pauses for a moment, surprised, then laughs. "I love you." He hands you his passport. "Will this do?"
"Yeah, I can accept...this." February 21st...1969? Good going, girly.
"Is there a fountain of youth somewhere in Wales or something? You're the third Welsh person over 27 I've carded since I started here," She laughs. That was a blatant lie, but he will never need to know.
This makes the man blush. "Well, I've noticed people seem happier in other countries and that could be a contribution."
"Yeah, you won't find happiness in this side of town. Are you lost?"
This makes the beardy Welshman chuckle. "Well, I actually am. Could you tell me where I can find the nearest hotel?"
She takes a glance at the passport again to get a name. "Well James, I don't think you want the nearest hotel. Trust me, it's fucking dodgy as all hell."
"Eh, well I can handle myself alright. I'm just kinda here on holiday." He adjusts his eyes in order to read her name tag. "...January?"
"Yeah, my parents couldn't think up a name so they took the month I was born." January laughs as she hands him a pack of cigarettes. "$3.65"
He hands her four dollars. "I'll let you keep the change if you could find me a place."
She hands him the keys to her apartment. "I don't spend a whole helluva lot of time there, and nobody knows I live there, so you're fairly safe. It's the apartments behind the store, number 303."
James gives January a strange look. "You sure you don't mind a complete stranger in your place?"
"Why?" January replies back. "There's nothing anyone would be interested in there."
He smiles. "Well...thank you. I should be able to find it okay. What time do you get off work?"
"Well...since I have nothing to do after work I should be getting back in six hours."
"We should do something, then."
"Yeah...something." January's unsure of what he means, but for some reason, for once, she has a decent feeling about him.

Eight hours later, a very tired January stumbles to her front door. James opens it. "Hey, kid." He looks at her tenderly. "You alright?"
"Yeah...fine dude...kinda cold." she stutters. She has this wide eyed look, as if she were absolutely terrified.
"Come in, I'll make you some tea." James carries her up. "You're probably tired from that night of work and putting up with all sorts of bollocks aren't you?"
He doesn't even know me and he seems to have bought tea and is making it for me, January thought. "Yeah...tea...peppermint..." She staggers to the couch and lies down.
James gently strokes her forehead. "I'm getting it ready now, love." Gentle kiss on the forehead. This makes her smile. At the same time, what the hell is this guy doing?
"Thank you for letting me stay here. I really didn't know where to go last night." He wanders back to the kitchen. "I'd heard sirens all night. Couldn't sleep well, but I don't really need it now." James drapes a blanket over her. "This should keep you warm." He walks back to the kitchen as the whistle blows. She curls up in a ball and whimpers.
James gives January a strange look. "January, are you sure you're alright?" He's greatly confused. "Yeah, sure, I'm fine...you?" January's shaking.
"Drink this, you'll feel better." He gives her a cup of peppermint tea, which she appreciatively drinks. He gently places his hand on hers. "Stop shaking, child." He gently kisses her forehead and cuddles her. "You're alright, kid." Eventually, January falls asleep.

Twelve hours later, James is sitting on the loveseat reading a book. He is suddenly disturbed by January shaking under her covers.

"January?" He slowly peels back the covers to reveal her very terrified face. "You all right?"
Nothing. She's shaking, and she can't seem to close her eyes, devoid of any life.

"I need something...I have to go." She jumps up and throws on her coat.
"Where you going, then?" James is concerned.
"Don't worry about it, I'll be back in a few hours." And with that, she's gone.

James had a suspicious feeling about her. She seemed fine last night at the store, but after that she'd seemed kinda cold and distant. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.
She appeared unhappy, but managing her life well at the store...but then again, on a daily basis people seem all right until he got to know them. Everyone held a dark secret.

January's lifestyle was no secret to people who lived there. If she wasn't on the stuff she was looking for it. When she found it, she'd give her everlasting thanks by shagging whoever gave it to her. It was the easiest way. She had no ambitions. All went straight to hell after she was kicked out of her house at 16, and she'd been on her own since.
To her, there was only one thing to make every day easier for her, and most of all enjoyable. While she was on the stuff, she didn't care about anything else. She just wanted to feel good. The stuff made the sex bearable, and accelerated time. The only time she wasn't high was when she was working...for the most part.

So she went on her normal route to Ken's house.

"Got anything?" January wasn't wasting time.
"What are you going to give me?"
"You know damn well what I'm going to give you, let me in."

Six hours later, James was still reading his book. He couldn't sleep and wanted to pass the time, try and not think about January and whatever she may be up to. He knew something was terribly wrong, but when someone lends you their place to stay with no ulterior motives, you're kinda trapped. You want to believe something terrible will happen, or the person is being incredibly generous and you don't want to hurt their feelings. He had to find a way to come across to January to find out what the hell was going on. Eventually he fell asleep on the loveseat, book on his lap.

January finally came home, immensely tweaked and nailed to the spot. She felt like heaven. She noticed James asleep on the loveseat and put the marker in the place of his book he left off, and placed it on the nightstand next to him, quietly so not to disturb him. She draped the blanket on the couch over James and went to her bedroom. Naturally, she couldn't sleep, so she washed her face, put on a little makeup, and walked out to the balcony of her apartment. Nobody was around. They were all at Ken's house. She went back inside and quietly played "Lullaby" by The Cure and danced. She had impeccable moves, and the body to do it. Unfortunately, there was hardly any aesthetics left. Three years of methamphetamine abuse has withered her to an anorexic frame. She still didn't feel like she was thin enough. She looked in the mirror and cried.

By this time, the music woke James up. He found himself under a blanket. He heard crying in the other room. He wanted to go in and hold January, tell her whatever it was that was making her upset will eventually pass through. He knew something had to be up, given her appearance this morning. She looked weary. He had a feeling she couldn't be older than 23 but she seemed older, tired. It was almost as if she'd given up on life. Given his lack of information, he thought better of it. He didn't want to make her any more upset than she already was. He then opened his book, which he found on the nightstand.

January opened her door and walked to the living room. "You're awake." She was surprised.
"I heard you in the other room." James said, putting his book back down. "Are you sure you're all right? I can't help but be concerned with what I see before me."
"What do you see?" January asks in her paranoid state.
"Well," James is fully paying attention to her now. "Last night I saw a young woman who seemed as though she was making her way. The morning after I'd seen the appearance of the same woman, but, kindalike, you were merely a shell whose soul was replaced by a lost little girl, or a zombie. The next thing I know I hear you crying. I know I've only known you for a day, but quite frankly I'm worried about you."
"Don't be. I've managed on my own for a good eight years." January lights a cigarette. "Want one?"
"Naw, I still got my pack." James lights one for himself. "You don't have to be afraid of me, yanno."
"You know how many guys tell me that?" January laughs and folds her arms in front of her, shaking. "Is it cold in here?"
"No...it's not. At all." James looks at her strangely. "Have you eaten today?"
"Hah, naw I haven't been hungry."
"What about yesterday? What about the day before?"
January thinks for a moment. "Well...no, actually."
"You don't think there's anything wrong with that?"
"Eating is such a waste of time, man. I can think of a million things better to do." January takes another drag and looks for another blanket. "Fuck, it's cold in here."
"Turn the heat up, then."
"I try not to, I can't afford the heating bill." January wraps a blanket she found in the closet around her and curls up on the couch.
"Come here, kid." James joins her on the couch and wraps his blanket around her. "So what did you do while you were out?"
"Don't worry about it."
"What's the big secret, January? Do you moonlight as a truck stop whore on these nights or something? You won't scare me off that easily." He pulls her closer to him.
"You really don't want to know man." She throws her head back against his thigh. "I'm just going to...sleep this off."
"Sleep what off, January? What have you been doing?"
"Why are you so concerned with my personal life? It's not like you're going to be here forever. I'm sure you've got a billion places to spend your time."
James sighs. He knows at this point he's not going to get inside her head this easily.
"Read me a story?" January looks at him with longing. Still starving for life, they were.
"Let me get my book, love." He gets up gently enough for her head to slide off his leg and against the couch cushion. He grabs his book, The Fall, by Albert Camus, and in a very soft, but slighty sardonic voice, he reads aloud to her where he left off, while stroking her hair. She listens intently, absorbing herself in the story.

"That was beautiful." She's staring at him.
"Talk to me, child." James says as he's tenderly stroking her hair.

"What's there to talk about?"
"Tell me everything."
"There's nothing to tell."
"You're somewhere in your 20s, you've lived sommat."
"23 for your information. And quite frankly I haven't been alive since I was 16."
James is silent for a moment. "Go on."
"Well..." January hesitates. "I fucking hate telling people about my life. Nothing's ever come out of it. I was born, I dropped out of high school, I went off on my own, and I'm here now. Anything else?"
"Well, I've been born, gone to school, and eventually became the man I am today. So obviously, while we've gone the same path as far as that's concerned, we came out to be two completely different people. Something happened to you to make you this way. January, listen to me. What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Well..." January wishes this wasn't happening. "I'd probably go see a friend about something."
"And the ambiguity in your plans. If I were to ask another person that, they'd probably tell me they were going off to a pub with friends and drink."
"It's different."
"Well what is it?"
January sighs. "I'm a fucking drug addict, okay? I go to guys houses and fuck them for speed. Once in a great while I come back here. I'm a crackwhore. You happy now?" January jumps up. The tremble in her voice is apparent as she says "There's my fucking life story," heads to her bedroom, and slams the door.

James is slightly shocked at this revelation. Despite the seediness of the town he was in, for some reason he would never expect to hear this kind, lovely young woman to say "I'm a crackwhore." The words echoed in his head like the sound of breaking glass.

He heard the soft crying in the other room. He had that feeling again. This time he was to act on it. He got up, grabbed the blankets from the living room, and opened her door.

"You're still here." January shakily gets up.
"Just relax, child." James wraps the blankets around her. "Why would I leave?"
"Because I'm a crackwhore with unnecessary baggage?"
"I don't care about that." James smiles as he looks at her.
"If I ran away now I'd have no place to go. I'd always wind up back here, no matter where I am. There are just some days where I feel as though I'm merely a lost soul trying to find my grave. I smoke the shit so I can find somewhere else to go for the time being. It gives me something to live for...at least for the moment." January leans her head against James' lap and cries. "It's not living. It's merely existence. I don't even know what I'm doing here or why I'm even here. I don't know why I bother to continue on some times."
"Shhhh." James tries to quieten her down, he strokes her hair ever so tenderly and pulls her up to hold her close.
"Let me see your world for one day. I can't even begin to imagine."

"Don't wear that jacket, they'll think you're a cop." January advises James as they get into his car. He slowly takes his jacket off. "We'll put it in the trunk."

They take off driving down the corner where January frequently visits. There is an alleyway. "Don't go down there. Nobody goes down there in a car unless they're pigs." James very wisely takes that advice. "We don't need to go there." Not too far ahead is a tired looking woman with three kids and a very well dressed man talking. "She's getting her fix, I can't believe she's buying off that asshole...who am I to talk, there's a reason I get my shit for free." James simply pretends he didn't just hear that.

Past that, another corner. James is at a stoplight.
"Ken." January looks out the window. "Somebody fucked him."
She took a closer look and saw a kid. Couldn't be any older than sixteen. The sixteen year old and Ken were having a row. "What a fucking loser!"
"Why don't you go out and help him?" James interjects.
"Please. He can handle himself just fine."
James pulls over on a curb. "Are you fucking crazy, James? You're going to get yourself killed!" January screams at him.
James wasn't listening. He flings open the car door as Ken was getting ready to beat the kid something fierce. "Don't fucking hit him!" he storms towards Ken.
"Fuck off, man this isn't any of your business!" Ken shoots back.
"It's my fucking business when you're doing the same shit to January?"
"January? Who the fuck is January?"
January steps out the car, and froze at the sound of that.

"Who the fuck is January? I'll tell you who the fuck is January! I'm fucking January, one of the many bitches you've been fucking for the past three years, and you don't even know my fucking name!" She swung at Ken. He dodged her and swung back. James moves in and punches Ken square in the face. "If you're going to hit anyone, fucking hit me all right, I'm likely to hit back!" James spits in his general direction.
"You're on, motherfucker." Ken wipes the blood off his face and swings at James, who successfully blocks his throw and punches Ken in the stomach. Ken staggers back for a moment and pushes James out of the way and grabs January by the throat. "You've been fucking telling people my name, bitch?" January fearlessly turned to Ken and spit in his face. "Fuck you." She hissed. Ken bangs her head against the top of the car, rendering January helpless as she falls to the floor. Sirens approach from a distance.
"January!!!" James cried. "Fucking hell, you're dead!" He screams. With full fury, James pushes Ken against the wall and repeatedly punches him in the face, kicking his stomach until Ken falls to the floor, groaning. James backs away and tends to January as the sixteen year old boy takes whatever money and other things Ken had in his pocket and runs away.
"January...January, please wake up!" James is sobbing as the police arrive.
"What the fuck has been going on here?" One cop comes out of the car.
"Arrest that man. I only know his name is Ken. He did this." He lays January flat on the sidewalk.
"Is she conscious?" The cop asks as the other men call for an ambulance.
"He slammed her head against the car. I can't wake her up. Please, help me!"
James holds January tight and cries as the ambulance arrives.

It's almost as if time had broken for that moment, and everything in existence was merely floating. January lay limp in James' arms, barely breathing. Ken was being taken away by an ambulance. The cop was writing notes down as the paramedics took January and did all they possibly could to save her life. James was telling the police everything he could.
"Well, what you did was fully in self defense, Mr. Bradfield. Were there any witnesses to this besides yourself and Ms. Capistrano?"
"There was one boy, but he fled when I tended to January. He couldn't have been older than sixteen."
"Please describe this boy for us, we may need to talk to him."
James gave him all the details he could remember from that moment. His mind was so enveloped worrying about his beloved.

"Please, let me go with her. I can't leave her." James begged the cop.
"We can take you there. It's the least we could do after you helped us find the man we've been looking for."
The cop goes on to explain to James that Ken had warrants out for his arrest for the past six years, in regards to drug trafficking, and in some cases assault, battery, and even murder. "We can expect for him to be off the streets for the rest of his life."

James arrives at the hospital "January Capistrano's room, please?"

He finds January asleep in her bed, an EKG machine hooked to her. "She suffered a minor concussion, but she should be all right in a few days." The nurse behind him said. "She's on valium and has been asleep for some time. She should be waking up any moment now." The nurse leaves James be as he takes a seat, opens his book, and starts reading out loud.

He gets past ten pages when he hears a slight moan coming from January.

"Oh, love!" James cries and tenderly caresses her face.
"Hey...heh...what happened? What am I doing here?" January's a bit groggy.
"Looks like Ken's going to be away for a long time."
"That's good." January smiles weakly.
"The doctor said you suffered a minor concussion, but you didn't need stitches or anything. Listen, January. Once you're out of the hospital, we're getting the fuck out of here, and I won't take no for an answer. If I leave you here any longer you'll die, and I couldn't live with myself if I ever left you."

Her eyes felt hot as she felt tears rolling down her face. "You won't leave me?"
"I'll take care of you, January. We can beat this thing together if you'll let me."

"I've been waiting a long time for someone to tell me that...and mean it."
"I mean it with all my heart."

January smiles and drifts off back to sleep. James falls asleep in the chair.

After a few days, January's condition was improving so she checked out of the hospital and James drove her back to her place. He made a few phone calls as January packed up whatever she needed. "One suitcase." She laughs as they head out to the airport.
"I took care of everything."
"Everything except getting us the fuck out of here."
"Oh I can't leave soon enough."
On the way to the airport, "By the way, where are we going?" January laughs. "I never bothered to ask, cause I figured it would be 'not here', yanno?"
James laughs. "We're going to where I'm from, Wales. I've got a big place and a guest room where you can sleep. Mind you we're seven hours ahead, so by the time we get there it's going to be night."

They arrive at the airport, get their stuff taken care of and eventually board the plane after scrutinous security measures.
"I never did like the airport security in the US." James snorts.
"They're not like this in Wales, are they?"
"Everything is better in Wales, love. You'll find out soon enough."

January leans her head on James' shoulder during the flight, thinking of everything she's leaving behind.
Everything and nothing it was. For the first time in her life, she felt as though she was really and truly alive. For the first time in six years, she smiled. She was crying tears of absolute joy. James gives her a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"You're smiling, love."
"You've unearthed me after being buried alive for six years, James. It's like I'm seeing the sun for the first time. I almost feel born again. And I have you to thank. Before you I was merely an ember and you've renewed my fire to burn everlasting."

James looks at January. "That is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard you say, January."
"James, I'm 100% sober at this moment. And quite frankly, I think I love you."
James takes her hand and cuddles close to her, as she closes in on him as she kisses him deeper than she could ever imagine.
"I know I love you, James."
"I love you too, January. Everything's going to be alright now." James smiles and puts his arm around her as they kiss one more time before they both fall asleep.

From then on, James helped January get over her addiction. She has since acquired a job as a nurse in a psychiatric hospital and has been living with James ever since. One day, James asked her to be his wife. It was something January had dreamed of since they first started living together in the States. They got married in an extremely beautiful ceremony and have since lived happily and fruitfully ever after.

Only in the narrator's mind does shit like this happen in the course of three days.

THE END.

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