nan_some-kind-of-bliss-5

SOME KIND OF BLISS by Nan <<< part 4

PART 5 - AWKWARD SILENCES

When you reach the beach Dave leaves to 'relieve himself' (After all, he was drinking beer. Loads of it.), you lie down in the warm sand, feeling the sensation against your body, the combination of its warmth and the cool breeze against your skin as James flops down against a rock and picks up his guitar, gently strumming the intro to "Nobody does it better". You just lie back and let the music soothe your racing mind.
And nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, baby, darling you're the best
He sighs and leans back, the silence beginning to get awkward after a couple of minutes. You twitch nervously and start:
"That was nice."
"Thanks"
'Thanks'? Is that all he can say?
Silence. You try to figure out what to say, he just sits there.
"Ok, that was my venture out, your turn!"
"Ha?"
"Don't tell me we're just going to sit here in the quiet?"
He seems puzzled.
"Can you play 'Gold'?"
He looks at you with this 'Spandau Ballet? You've got to be kidding me' look, but nods all the same and starts playing, but after a couple of chords, he screws up on your favourite part…(not that he actually would, it's a fantasy, ok!)
"Shit!"
"Yeah, it took me ages to learn that part."
"You play?"
"Yeah, a bit."
You reach out and he hands you the guitar as you sit up, not wanting to face him, so you turn towards the ocean and start to play, feeling James' warmth radiate from his instrument.
You know he's watching you and it's making you really nervous. Come on, don't screw up now!
You reach the part he screwed up, your fingers shaking, but you play it perfectly and hum along.
I hope you find a little more time
Remember we were partners in crime
"That was great," he says with a smile across his face.
"Thanks"
"I'd never thought that song could sound so…."
"What?"
He struggles for words.
"…so sexy…"
"Oh"
Silence.
"Well, you should hear it on the electric guitar, much sexier, gives it this whole erotic side" You can hear a loud gulp coming from his direction.
"You like electric better?"
"Yeah, I mean I love an acoustic sound, it's just that with electric guitar you have this combination of sound and visuals," you look at him suggestively "You know, sweat running, hips slamming…" You get a flashback, James on stage…you lose yourself in thought and it's not until he starts to speak that you realise where you are and what you're (not) doing.
"Guess I should have brought it with me then"
Which makes it your turn to swallow. Hard. You just thank heaven he can't see your face in the darkness of the night. Your defence mechanisms kick in, besides, you're not sure whether he's implying what you think he's implying so you decide to play it safe:
"Why, you want to get Dave in the sack?" you say, trying your hardest not to burst out in laughter.
He chuckles.
"No"
Silence. You don't know what to say, James begins to play with the sand, running it across his fingers, making little pyramids.
"You"
That one single word, even though he said it ever so quietly, echoes against the reef, making you feel fear and need at the same time. Still you say nothing.
"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…"
You cut him off:
"It's ok" You look up from the sand: "It'd take more than an electric guitar though…"
"What?"
"What you don't have." you say without thinking
"Oh" he says, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice, but not doing a very good job of it.
He gets up and you know he's upset as he starts to walk towards the shore.
"James!" you call after him, knowing he'd misunderstood you. You get up and run towards him, almost breaking your neck.
"Never mind. Forget I asked" he looks at you when you place an arm on his shoulder, then back at the water "If I'd have know you didn't like me…"
"I do like you" you say, blushing.
"Then what don't I have?"
"Time" you say reluctantly.
"What do you mean?"
Ok, might as well let it out.
"James, I'm a virgin"
He looks straight back at you, searching your eyes to find out if you're leading him on.
You both stay silent for a time; you start regretting your decision to tell him, while he tries to recover from the shock.
"How…err…what?"
You shrug your shoulders.
"Well you sure as hell don't act like one!" he almost yells at you.
"You make it sound as if I should be walking around dressed like a nun!" you burst, outraged by his accusation.
Silence. You consider walking away, but decide against it. Just deal with it you say to yourself, but you don't know if you're talking to yourself or to him.
"Why?" he suddenly asks, his voice soft, but still shaky, on the verge of breaking.
"Ha?"
"Why are you still a virgin? I've seen you with guys, it's not like you hadn't had your chance…"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware of the fact I should sleep with every man that crosses my path" you say sarcastically.
"I know it sounds old" your shoes suddenly become very interesting "but I guess I just haven't found the right one yet, you know?"
You look up at him, staring him straight in the eye
"I've just never been in love."
Silence.
"I'm sorry" he says very quietly, shyly "it's just that you kissed me and …"
"I was drunk" you chuckle.
"Yeah, I guess"
You both grin, you think back at how soft his lips were, suddenly your blood is boiling and you find yourself seriously consider doing this…
"But come to think of it, that probably is all it would take."
"What do you mean?" he asks as he removes a strand of hair from your forehead.
"An electric guitar and loads of liquor" you smile up at him.
He smiles for a bit and you're beginning to think everything will be ok, but then his facial expression changes, he's thinking about something and you don't know what. The look in his eyes…like he's in physical pain.
"Maybe we should get back to the hotel," he says to Dave who's just come back from his…. well, pissing expedition. You look at James, confused as the pair of them walk off the beach, leaving you behind, perplexed.
You sit back down in the sand and place your head in your hands, your mind bewildered so that you don't even notice the sun rising beautifully over the surface of the sea, the sight before you in complete contrast to the state of your psyche.

PART 6 >>>

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