nan_some-kind-of-bliss-11

SOME KIND OF BLISS by Nan <<< part 10

PART 11 - "OH LOOK, PARSLEY!"

You help Rhian in the kitchen (er, yeah, the party is at Sean's house…forgot to mention it!) while Rachel goes to find Nicky.
"So, how long are you staying in Cardiff?" she asks while taking the beer out of the fridge.
"Oh, just for Christmas, I'm going to London for New Year's. Why?"
"No reason" she lifts her hands in her defence.
"Rhian?" you look at her sternly and put your hands on your hips.
"Yes?" she asks innocently and you just know she's hiding something.
"What are you up to?"
"I don't know what you mean!"
"Ok, fine, don't tell me what you're up to," you say, taking the last few glasses out of her hands, "just tell me this: am I ever going to speak to you again after it?"
Rhian's face flushes bright red.
"Does it have anything to do with James?"
Rhian looks to the floor.
"Great, just great!" you say quite angrily, but in truth, you're quite happy. You don't know why, the pair of you obviously don't get along and you don't want the same things, but you're drawn to him.
"Look, we didn't…" Rhian tries to apologize, but you cut her off.
"I'm sorry, Rhian, I didn't mean to come across so harshly" you say, "I'm friends with Nick and Sean and I'd like to be friends with you and Rachel as well - but I hate being fixed up!"
"I'm sorry." She says quietly, looking to the ground like a sulking child.
"No, really, it's ok, don't worry about it. I've just had bad experiences with people fixing me up. Now blind dates are bad on their own, but a fix up with an ex-boyfriend?"
"Yeah, ok, we best tell Rachel though…" she says, but in that instant Nicky and Rachel return to the kitchen and she takes over for you while you go dance with Nicky.
"So, how are you - really?" Nick asks in the middle of the song.
"I'm fine."
"Really?"
You nod.
"Well you don't look fine" he says, you just smile at him, thinking that that will change his mind. It doesn't work though.
"Don't smile at me like that, I know you better!" he scolds you and you figure out that there's no pretending with him. Drat!
Suddenly it all gets too much for you to handle.
You look at him, your eyes filled with tears that you try to hold back and Nicky just pulls you in closer, so you sob into his shoulder as the song plays out.
When the song finishes Nick looks at you, your cheeks are stained with tears and he brushes them away and takes your hand.
"Come on"
You follow him up the stairs and into what looks like a guest room.
Nicky sits you down on the large bed and he sits across from you on a chair.
"Tell me" is all he says and seconds later you find yourself confessing your deepest feelings to him.
"Ok, here goes. Tell me if you get too bored" you chuckle but Nicky looks at you seriously. "Ok"
You try and compose your thoughts, but everything rushes into your head, feelings you're not sure of, things you can't even figure out for yourself.
"I….I think I'm…..I " you stop. Shit!
"Come on, you can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone - unless you want me to" he adds with a bit of a wink and you remember the nice conversations you've had with him in the studio six months ago. Seems like yesterday…
"I don't want you to tell anyone." You look at him and he softly whispers his promise.
"I think I'm still in love with him."
Nicky smiles: "I knew it!" he grins victoriously.
"Well, it's not that easy!" you look to the ground, "I mean it's not like the feeling is mutual, is it?"
"Ah, you mean root canal girl?" You both grin at the mention of her name, but in reality the mention of her at all is like a rope around your neck getting tighter and tighter.
"Yes."
"Forget her"
"Tell him that. And besides, that's not the only problem…."
He cuts you off: "I know you didn't speak to the press"
"Thanks" you grin, "but that's not it - you see, James knows it too, he just used it because he wanted to break the relationship anyway, he just needed a good excuse." That bastard! That lovely bastard! Egh!
"Look, if you think he broke up with you because of the virginity thing…"
What? "He told you that!?!" Scratch the lovely. Just bastard!
"Don't get angry! Calm down"
"How could he tell you that?" you say, less angrily, but you're still upset that he would betray your trust like that.
"He got drunk after you broke up." Nicky looks up at you, "it wasn't just hard for you, it was hard for him too, you know!"
"Shouldn't think so, after all, he's the one that broke it off!" You stand up abruptly; you can't bear to stay still. You walk over to the window and start to fiddle with the drapes.
"That's just because he was scared."
You turn around quickly, surprised by Nicky's statement.
"He was…sc…" the word gets caught in your throat and you cough,"…scared?"
"Yes", you sit down again, "you see, everyone he's ever known, he's ever dated either couldn't keep up with the lifestyle, or she wanted the press coverage - "
"And dentist girl falls in the latter category"
"Yes" Nicky looks you deep in your eyes, "and you didn't fall into either of the categories, and I think that scared him."
You look to the ground, Nicky continues:
"It wasn't the sex. To be honest, I think he's grown pretty tired of the one-night stands. He never complained about you and I didn't even know till after you broke up that you never actually…" Nicky blushes and you have to smile at his embarrassment.
"Did it."
"Yeah."
You're relieved, you kept thinking that there was a secret reason that he broke up with you was because you didn't sleep with him, but then again, he never asked nor pressured you.
"Thanks" you look at him and he seems puzzled like he doesn't know what it is you're thanking him for, "for everything, Nicky!" you smile and get up, making your way down the staircase.
When you come down you're still not quite yourself, so you swagger a bit and nearly pull down someone else with you - James.
"Shit, I'm so sorry" you start.
"It's ok"
"No, I mean, …er...I'd better go!"
You turn to walk away but he grabs your arm and turns you around, your lips only inches away, you can feel his breath on your lips and you think you might faint!
"You can't go!" he says, and winces at the same time, knowing that he sounded too eager than he meant to.
"Oh, Mr. Bradfield, and why is that?"
"Mistletoe" he says and lifts his hand. He's holding something green, but it definitely isn't what he says it is!
"James, that's not mistletoe!"
"It isn't?" he asks innocently, looking at the herb in his hand. You take it from him and look at it more carefully.
"It's parsley!" you say and hit him with it while you both giggle.
"Oh…"
You muse at him and smile, glad that there is close to no tension between you.
"Well, it's close I guess…" you say sheepishly and softly kiss his cheek. His after shave floods your nostrils and you just want to bury your head in his neck and never let go.
When you pull away James looks at you, surprised, amused and somewhat relieved.

PART 12 >>>

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