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| STAY by Miss Manics You were just packing the last of your clothes into the suitcase when James appeared. He looked as if he was about to cry. “You don't have to do this, you know.” “I do, you know as much as me, I do.” “I want you to stay.” “That’s exactly what I mean!” you yell, “There’s more than one person in this relationship, that’s why we’re not going anywhere.” “Look, I’m sorry, please, just stay.” “I can’t...” You finish doing up the zip on the case and haul the case off the bed. “I’ll pick up the rest of my stuff tomorrow.” You reach into your bag and hand him his key. “Bye.” He doesn’t reply and you slowly close the door behind you... “What happened?” “I left him.” “Why the hell did you do that?” You couldn’t actually see Nicky, but you knew that he would would be pacing around his living room madly. “It wasn’t heading anywhere, I need some space for a while, I’ll have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” “OK, Bye” “Bye.” You put the phone down. You kinda felt free now. As much as you liked James, you didn’t know if you loved him anymore. You were now thinking about tomorrow, you couldn’t possibly face him... *A loud ringing noise wakes you up early next morning* “Jesus, where the hell did I leave that alarm clock...” You had only had about 3 hours sleep, but you still managed to pull yourself out of bed. Finally, you make it to the office. Martin comments on how you “look like death warmed up.” You always try your best... You feel slightly better when Nicky arrives. “Are you ok?” he asks. “Didn’t sleep much last night, but yeah, I’m fine.” “I spoke to James last night as well, he seems really upset. You really mean a lot to him.” “Yeah, that’s how he feels, maybe he should consider how I feel.” Nicky has no reply to this... When James does arrive, he doesn’t look much better than you. He doesn’t lift his head to acknowledge your presence. This is pretty much how it continues all day. As you pick up your bags to leave, Nicky comes to speak to you. “That was tough for you both today.” You hug him, a sort of ‘Thank-you’ for supporting you. He kisses you gently on your forehead. He then freezes, staring behind you. You turn around to see James standing in the doorway. “It all makes perfect sense now.” He laughs, “You left me for him. Thanks Nick, you’re a perfect mate.” He leaves before either you or Nicky can say anything. You can’t help but feel bad. He has much such a horrible mistake that you decide to set it straight, for Nicky’s sake. You’re gonna go around there and tell him what really happened. You get more and more nervous as you round the corner to the street where James lives, but you freeze as you take in what you are seeing. James is wrecked, walking towards his front door, holding hands with some bimbo. So much for you meaning the world to him... “I’ve just come to say that I’m happy for you.” You announce. Everyone stares at you, “I’m happy that you’ve found a replacement so quickly. I was on my way to set things straight with you, to get you to talk to Nicky again, but I saw that you were busy and had ‘company’.” Everyone in the office looks slightly uncomfortable now, including James. He almost looks hurt. “I...I...didn’t!” Is all he can manage before you storm out of the office. You run and run, but you don’t know where you’re running. You arrive at a park. You sit down on a swing, tears rolling down your cheeks. You have never felt so hurt in your life. You really do love James, possibly more than anyone will ever know, but you don’t want to, you don’t want to ever feel this hurt again. “I kinda thought you would be here.” It’s James, he sits down on the swing next to you. It suddenly hits you why you ran here - it’s where you and James first met. It hurts so much reflecting on one of the best moments of your life, realising that it means nothing now. “I wanna make it clear that nothing happened with me and that girl. I was so pissed that I fell asleep on the sofa before anything got a chance to happen. I’ve apologised to Nick for that crazy accusation. I’m really sorry I accused you of something so stupid, I was just so hurt.” He goes to take your hand but you pull it away. “I’m sorry but I’ve been hurt so badly, I don’t want to risk it again.” you say, standing up. “I need to be alone for a while.” You walk out of the park, leaving James alone on the swing. Your phone rings non-stop that evening. You know it’s Nicky, but you don’t feel like speaking to him at the moment. You run yourself a bath, when there’s a knock at the door. Presuming it’s Nicky as the phone hasn’t rung for a while, you decide that you can’t leave him standing at the door all night. You only open the door a few inches before you attempt to slam it shut again, but James has managed to jam his foot between the door and the frame. “I really need to speak to you, I’ve gotta find out where I stand... please.” You open the door and allow James in. He sits down on the sofa making it clear he’ll be in you’re house for a while. “You might not want to speak to me, but it’s important that I speak to you.” You sit down in the armchair opposite him. “I can’t let you go, I need you. I have never felt what I do for you before in my life. I can’ think of anything else to say apart from I love you.” He holds his head in his hands. You know that what he has just said has come from his heart and he means it. The silence pierces through your ears. You get up and walk across to the sofa. “I love you too,” James looks up. “But I dunno if I can let myself, I’m scared I’m gonna lose you and I don’t want to go through that. The last two years of my life have been amazing, all that time I have spent with you, but I just don’t want to lose you.” You sit down but James stands up. “I understand.” He says, his voice hoarse. “No, you don't have to go...” But he’s already gone. The next morning in the office, Nicky is at you as soon as you walk in. “I was phoning you all night, but you never answered. Look, you can talk to me if something is wrong, you do know that?” “Yeah yeah, it’s fine. James came round last night and we talked things over.” “And...?” ”And I think we’ve both sorted it out.” You say sadly. “So, no sign of you getting back together?” “Doesn’t look like it.” You feel a tear running down your cheek. Nicky hugs you. “Thanks, but I’m just gonna get on with it.” You find yourself at your desk daydreaming for most of the day. Dreaming of what could have been. You’re suddenly brought back to reality as James grabs your hand and pulls you away from your desk. “James! What the hell are you playing at?” Again you’ve managed to get the attention of everyone in the office, but this time James doesn’t seem to mind. “Last night you said to me that you were scared you were gonna lose me again and get hurt again.” “Well, yeah...” You say more and more confused. “I don’t want to lose you either, ever. So that’s why I’m asking you...” He drops to one knee, “Will you marry me?” It feels like someone has just dropped a ton of bricks onto you, and you didn’t know what to say. Well, your head didn’t but your heart did. “Yes!” you say as everyone claps and “awwws”. As he hugs you, you know you’ve made the right choice. Nothing compares to how you feel when you’re with James. “So Mrs Bradfield to be, when will you be moving back in?” He whispers. “Tonight if I get my way...” <<< Miscellaneous |