melody_voyage-of-discovery-4

A VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY by Melody                                                   <<< part 3

PART 4

Due to his commitments with the band, Nicky wasn't able to see Alexis for seven weeks. When he had a couple of free days, she was working so they made do with long distance phone calls, texts and emails. Nicky hated it but Alexis found the breathing space a relief; it was giving her time to think and sort her head out, only the only answer she came up with was an utterly impractical and stupid one, running the risk of hurting both men and ostracising her forever. She wanted both of them, for very different reasons. When they did make arrangements for Alexis to stay with Nicky again, he cancelled because his mum was ill and in hospital, and he wanted to be with her, which Alexis understood.

Instead of being in Nicky's company, Alexis was alone, watching dvd's and reading, finding herself utterly bored. She did still have feelings for Nicky, that was why she was missing him, but it was James that she hungered for sexually. The mere thought of being in bed with him was enough to arouse her.

Finishing her book she went to the bookcase to choose another, before she had chance to make her choice, the doorbell rang.
“What the...”
“Hi ya gorgeous!”
Alexis was shocked. The last person that she had expected to see was James. “What are you doing here?”
“I decided to come and see you,” he grinned. “Are you going to invite me in?”
Alexis noticed the suitcases. “Oh no, you are NOT staying here,” she said firmly. “Nicky will go apoplectic.”
“At least let me come in to ring some hotels then.”
“Hotels and taxis James.”
“No probs,” he trilled.

Not totally convinced that she was doing the right thing, Alexis opened the door fully and James immediately took his luggage inside, leaving it in the hallway.
“I'll get you the yellow pages,” she informed him.
“Any chance of a cuppa?” James asked, smacking his lips together. “I'm parched.”
“One coffee and that's it. You have a nerve turning up here like this.” She glared at him with disapproval before going into the kitchen.   Above the clanking of the crockery Alexis could hear James on the phone asking for a room.

“No luck so far,” he whispered into her ear, making her jump.
“Don't creep up on me like that!” She stayed with her back to him, knowing that if she saw those brown eyes and his smile, that she would want him.
“Sorry,” he sighed with a sultry voice, “didn't mean to scare you. My but you're on edge, wonder why that should be Lexy?”

He wasn't touching her but his close proximity and the tone of his voice had a myriad of dirty thoughts and images racing through Alexis' mind.
“I think I'm allowed to be spooked when you turn up out of the blue James.”
He cackled with satisfaction, happy that he had riled her. “I had this uncontrollable urge to be with you Lexy.”
“Tough! Get a hotel and piss off.”
“Now, now!” he chided annoyingly. “There is no need for that. There was a time when you couldn't wait to get me into your bed.”
I still can't! That's why I need you to go, thought Alexis.

“If you wanted to stay all you had to do was ring and ask James; talk about taking liberties.”
“If I promise to behave can I stay?”
The warmth of his breath on the back of her neck was close to making her give in and allow him to stay, though that would be dangerous. However much she wanted both James and Nicky, it was impractical and having James stay would be too much of a temptation to her. A temptation that she had little doubt she would give in to.
“No you can't; try another hotel.”

James put his arms around her waist, chuckling at her futile attempts to get away and whispered seductively in her ear: “I know that you want me Lexy.”
“James stop this, I'm with Nicky.” Her heart was beating furiously and her breathing was ragged. She was on the verge of succumbing to him and, furthermore, she knew that he knew it.
“I am so pleased that you have put some more weight on Lexy. You are looking fantastic and, it is great to have more of you to caress.”
“Hmm,” Alexis couldn't help but lean against him when he licked and sucked at the delicate flesh beneath her ears. She closed her eyes and gave up attempting to get away from him. It was good feeling his arms protectively around her, his hands slowly caressing her, turning her on.
“I love you Lexy,” James whimpered, sucking on the exposed pale flesh of her neck. “Don't make me leave.”

Alexis ground her backside against his crotch, moaning at the size of his erection pressing against her. Nervously she reached a hand behind her and slowly stroked him over his jeans. “Oh James.” Her rational thought had left her. She was now a slave to her desires.
“Come to bed with me Lexy,” he sighed. “Let me show you how much I love you.”
She turned around and put her arms over his shoulders, giving him a deep, though brief kiss. “You can show me that right here.”
“You want me to make love to you in the kitchen?”
“You don't need to do that to show me either.”
Rubbing his nose against hers, James giggled. “I don't know that I could spend all night with you and not make love to you Lexy,” he smiled tenderly. “Why don't we have a bath together, and then cuddle up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and, either a dvd or some music?”
“That's a little romantic for you isn't it?” she teased.
“Hey now, you know how romantic I can be.”
“Yeah I do,” she conceded with a smile.

After their bath, James and Alexis both dressed in shorts and t-shirts. The opening and pouring of the wine took a long time, both of them wanting to kiss and hold their partner.
“Oh Lexy,” James sighed before kissing her passionately again. His hands roamed under Lexy's t-shirt, playing softly with her warm breasts. He was about to take a nipple in his mouth when the phone rang. “Leave it,” he urged.
“I can't ,” she said with a shrug, “it may be Nicky.”
“If it is, his timing sucks.”

Grinning brightly she blew him a kiss and picked up the phone. “Hi, oh hi ya Nicky. How is your mum doing?” She put the speaker phone – enabling James to hear the conversation.
“There's no improvement; we're all worried sick.”
“I know. Let's hope that she starts to improve soon huh?”
“Yeah. Oh I forgot to say when I spoke to you this morning that I told James he could stay with you for a while. He's got some stuff he needs to do and needed somewhere to stay. I figured that it was a good way of showing you that I trust you.”

“I was about to ring you Nick,” James said, his arms once more wrapped around around Alexis' waist. “She told me to stay in a hotel.”
“That's my fault, I should have mentioned it. You don't mind James staying do you love?”
“If it’s ok with you Nick, then I guess it’s fine.”
“Good.”
“Cheers Nick,” said James, his hands opening Alexis' shorts and sliding them, and her knickers, down her thighs.   “Oh and thanks Lexy. I promise to behave.”
“You'd better,” she smirked, resting her head back on his shoulder when James began teasing her clit.
“I'm going to go and sit with mum again. I'll call you soon Lexy, love you honey.”
“Give my love to everyone Nick.” She finished by blowing him a kiss down the phone.

“Fancy forgetting to you that your other half suggested I stay here,” James chuckled into her ear.
“Hmm, indeed.” She moved to face him and began undressing him. “Very naughty of you, I think you need punishing.”
Completely naked, James immediately bent over the dining table, knowing exactly what was coming. The first thwack from the wooden spatula caught him off guard , but not the second or subsequent ones.
“Oh yes!” he moaned, another smack reddening his buttocks further. “I've been so bad Lexy, you have to teach me a lesson, make me learn some discipline.”
“I'm not certain that this spatula is punishment enough for you,” said Alexis firmly, giving him another thwack.
“Be harsh with me,” he begged. “Make me suffer Lexy, get the whip.”
“Wait here.”

James waited excitedly for her to return, when she did he wasn't disappointed. Dressed in a black and red PVC bustier, elbow length gloves, thong and thigh high boots, Alexis brandished a whip and a riding crop.
“You still have it then,” he winked.
“This is the first time I've worn it since we split up,” she answered coyly. “Nicky would be horrified.”
“He's not here,” said James reassuringly. “I remember buying you that outfit, that and the dirty nurse's uniform.”
“Are you certain that you want this James?”
He nodded. “Don't hold back Lexy, punish me. Make me suffer for being so bad to you. Teach me who's the boss Lex.”

“Your backside is still really fucking red,” said Alexis with concern, joining James in bed a little later. “I'm surprised that the skin hasn't broken.”
“It doesn't hurt,” he assured her, “just a bit warm.”
“Really?”
He kissed her warmly. “Positive! You make a great Miss Whiplash you know.”
“Oh shush!” she blushed. “I was amazed when you came; I'd forgotten that it made you do that.”
“It and YOU together.” Suddenly he was serious. “Leave Nicky, I'm going mad without you.”
“How can I do that when I care for him James?”
“You don't love him.”
“As a friend I do. Perhaps the other will come later.”

“You don't feel the same way about him as you do me though, do you?”
Alexis sighed heavily. “With us it's more intense, physical, raw. With Nicky it’s gentler.”
“And when you make love with him?”
“I don't know,” she answered honestly. “We still haven't.”
“Are you serious? Fucking hell, how come?”
“He wants to take it slowly and we haven't been together for over seven weeks.”
“Are you trying to say that you want an affair Lex?”
She shrugged her shoulders and sat up against the headboard. “I have feelings for Nicky, those feelings are more than you have for a friend. It's only fair to see if they're enough to sustain a relationship.”
“But?” he prompted.
“I want to make love with you; I love you.”

“At least you're being honest with me, thanks for that. If the only way I can have you is to have an affair, I'll do it.”
“Despite knowing that we'll break Nicky's heart?”
“If I can't see you it will break my heart,” he answered softly, stroking her stomach lightly. “I mean it Lexy, I will go crazy if I can't be with you.”
Lexy was quiet, trying to decide if she ought to tell James what the ideal outcome would be for her.

“What are you thinking about babe?”
“Nothing practical,” she sighed.
“I'm curious,” he smiled, resting his head in her lap, enjoying her playing with his hair. “Tell me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“Tell me.”
“What do you think the chances are of Nicky going for an open relationship? That way I could see you both.”
“You are dirty minded,” he grinned impishly. “Not a chance in hell is the answer to that one.”
“So I'm stuck with being an adulteress...”

“Hey, it won't be forever. There'll come a day when you have to make a choice.”
“Because I can't deal with it or you can't?”
“Either or both. I can put up with sharing you for now but it isn't always going to be that way. One day I'll be giving you an ultimatum to leave him and come with me.”
Lexy put her head in her hands and began tugging forcefully at her hair. “Great, then he'll find out about us and hate me even more.”
“He ain't exactly going to be chuffed with me ya know.”
“I suppose that the only thing to do is for us to end this now.”
James stared at her in desperation. “Lexy don't, please.”
“This way it will save us all a lot more pain further down the line. The longer that this goes on, the worse it will be.”

James knelt over her, caressing her face with his fingers. “No Lexy! You can't do this to me, not now. Tonight has proved how we both really feel, we can't hide from it Lexy.”
“I can't hurt Nicky!” she yelled, sobbing. “You think I want this? I'm trying to do the right thing. We won't last James, it’s all sex and nothing more.”
“The right thing to do is keep seeing me. It will work this time Lexy because I know what you mean to me and what I have to lose.”
“No, the right thing is for me to make it work with Nicky. I have been so selfish James.”
“You will never love him!” he shouted in reply, scared that he was losing the love of his life – again.

“You sound like you're afraid that I will.”
“Perhaps I am,” he replied snappily. “I lost you once, don't walk away from me now Lex, not after showing me what you have tonight.”
“And this from the man who thinks that he'll be able to cope with having an affair!”
“That would be different,” he protested. “I'd know that I'd be spending time alone with you again. Knowing that I'll have you in my arms and making love with you again.”
“This is impossible!” exclaimed Alexis in exasperation. “When I'm alone with you I can't trust myself, I know that we'll end up in bed. Making a clean break is the only way.”
“I can't accept that,” said James, perching on the edge of the bed.
“Either you go to sleep in the other room or you leave.” Lexy didn't make eye contact with him, she couldn't because she was only too well aware that if she did her resolve would crumble and she'd be kissing him, begging him to make love to her.
“You are joking?” James was stunned when Lexy shook her head. “Fine then, I'll go in the other room. First thing in the morning I'll sort out a train home.” He hurriedly collected his clothes and slammed the bedroom door behind him; both he and Alexis sobbing their hearts out.

They met in the kitchen, both with swollen, red eyes from the hours of crying they'd been doing. The atmosphere was tense and uncomfortable.
“I don't suppose you have reconsidered things?” asked James nervously.
“James, believe me when I say that I have though about it a lot.”
“But the answer is still the same?”
“It has to be.”

Three weeks later and Alexis was meeting up with Nicky at his home. Although she had had no further contact with James, the guilt still tore through her. What if she realised she ought to be with James when she spent time with Nicky? She had made things incredibly difficult.

Nicky took her in his arms, kissing her wantonly; he had missed her so much. “It is so good to be with you again,” he whispered breathlessly, still holding her firmly.
“It has been a long time,” she conceded. “I'll take my things up and get a shower if that's ok?”
“Course it is,” said Nicky grinning buoyantly. “I've cleared some space in the drawers and wardrobes in my room for your clothes.”
Alexis was taken aback. “Are you certain about this?”
“Yeah I am.”
Nervously she smiled. “I'll erm, I'll go and get that shower then.”
“Fancy some company?”
“How can I refuse?”

They unpacked the clothes and Alexis put them away, Nicky grimacing when he found her box of tampons.
“Are you on your period Lexy?”
“No yet, I'm due at the end of the week, why, is that a problem?”
“No of course not. It’s just that, well I have plans for tonight. I was hoping that we'd take the relationship on to the next step, if that's ok with you.”
Alexis felt hemmed into a corner. If she said no, Nicky would be bemused. If she said yes, she's be thinking of James and feeling bad for him. “Oh, those type of plans.”
“You seem doubtful; what's up?”
“Nothing,” she answered swiftly with a forced smile and cheeriness. “I think that is a wonderful idea.”
“Let’s get ready for that shower shall we?” Nicky walked over to her and steadily undid the buttons of her blouse. “Can't get showered with clothes on,” he winked.

Alexis remained whilst Nicky undressed her, lightly kissing her exposed pale flesh as he proceeded. There were no butterflies in her stomach, no desperate ache for him. She closed her eyes, attempting to rid her mind of the images of James that had begun tormenting her, but, it didn't work. All she could see was James' naked body. Her mind was playing devilish tricks on her; for her it was James kissing and caressing her, carrying her arousal onwards.   She bit on her bottom lip, her hands reaching down to Nicky's head, now dangerously close to her sex, and, with her fingers in his hair, guided his mouth onto her.
“Mmm,” she whispered on feeling his tongue stroking her. “Oh I need that.”
Oblivious to the fact that Alexis was daydreaming of James, he took heart from her desire and told her to bend over on to the bed. He positioned himself behind her and began licking and sucking on her once more.

Alexis reached behind, stroking his hair and panting at her growing arousal. “Oh yes,” she whined, “don't stop.”
Nicky dipped his tongue inside her, his thumb now teasing the swollen hard bud firmly in circular motions. When her fluid spilled onto his tongue and face he gasped, lapping furiously to taste as much as he was able. “On the bed Lexy, face down honey.”

Whilst Alexis got into position, Nicky hurriedly discarded his clothes in a heap. His dick was hard and erect, aching to be inside her. Gently he stroked her backside and the inside of her thighs, sighing when he touched the drying juice that had flooded out of her.
With eyes closed and a deep sense of trepidation, Alexis waited for him, images of James still toying with her.

“I love you so much Lexy,” moaned Nicky, slowly feeding her pussy his hard dick.
Alexis sighed, not, like Nicky presumed, with pleasure, but with an acute sense of disappointment; Nicky's penis was nowhere near as long or thick as James'.

Nicky put one knee on the bed and, holding her firmly by the hips, began thrusting in a quick rhythmic motion. Alexis whined, in comparison to James, she could hardly feel him and he certainly wasn't stimulating her. She felt empty, hoping that he would soon change positions and let her be on top, then perhaps she could get properly aroused. Nicky didn't change position, he continued until he came, withdrew from her, and curled up alongside her on the bed, his body bathed in a thin layer of perspiration.
“Oh but that was good,” he sighed, a huge grin forming on his lips.
“Hmm,” Alexis moaned without commitment.   Would Nicky ever be able to ignite the flame inside of her? At the moment, she seriously doubted it.

They showered and then decided to have some wine outside on one of the benches in the garden, Alexis willing herself to find the courage to tell Nicky that she had made a huge mistake.
“You ok love?” he asked sweetly. “You seemed miles away then.”
“Enjoying the peace and tranquillity of this place,” she replied with a fake smile. “I had forgotten how beautiful and quiet it is here.”
“That's the main reason why I love it here; its a great place to think.”
“It is,” agreed Alexis. “Nicky I...”
“Oh hang on a minute love, that's my doorbell, I won't be long.” Nicky rushed to answer the front door.
Alexis drank the remainder of her glass of wine in one go, then topped up her glass from the bottle in the ice bucket on a nearby table. She needed some Dutch courage to tell Nicky that she had made a dreadful mistake. There was no easy way to tell him; no way to take away the pain.

“James!”
“Hey,” he smiled sitting next to her. “I was in the neighbourhood so...”
“James I'm in a mess,” she interrupted with panic in her voice.
Nicky appeared with another wine glass before she had the opportunity to say anything more. He promptly filled the wine glass for James and pulled up another bench and sat down. “How did your break go?”
“Ok, it was nice to relax and stuff ya know,” answered James.
“Have you been anywhere nice?” Alexis asked.
James laughed. “I spent four days with Pat, not long I know but the change of scenery did the trick.”
“It is beautiful there,” Alexis agreed, relaxing a little.
“It’s funny how there are still things and people that you miss though, don't you think? I mean when you're in such idyllic surroundings, nothing else should matter.”
“We don't always have control of our thoughts,” Alexis sighed, recalling her own vivid sexual thoughts of James a few hours earlier.

Nicky observed the interaction of his lover and friend for any signs of intimacy, relieved that there was none. The playful teasing and jokey banter that they usually shared had gone and not there was almost a hint of coldness, like they were forcing themselves to be polite. Content that whatever feelings and emotions the past had held for the two of them were now gone, Nicky decided to go in and start cooking the evening meal. He informed James that he would be joining them as well.

With Nicky in the kitchen watching them through the window, James took out his pack of cigarettes and offered one to Alexis, who took it without hesitation, inhaling deeply when he lit it for her.
“How's it going?” he whispered, not wanting Nicky to overhear.
“Don't ask,” she grumbled. “I need to get out of here but I can't find away to tell Nicky.”
“I thought that you were going to make it work?”
“I can't James, it’s no good. There's just...when we...well...nothing.”
“There has got to be something, that's why you tossed me aside isn't it?” He didn't hold back on the sarcasm.
“Oh stop it!” she cursed through gritted teeth. “No need to be so fucking smug about it.”

James let out a hearty laugh. “Oh yes there is. Why do you suddenly want to end it?”
Alexis took a deep breath, feeling humiliated at what she was about to tell him. “We made love today.”
James stared at her, perplexed by how that would make her decide to leave Nicky. “That's good isn't it?”
“Not when I orgasmed from oral sex by thinking it was you doing it to me, no!” It was difficult for her not to raise her voice, the last thing she wanted was for Nicky to overhear. “And then when he fucked me, I didn't feel a thing. I wanted it to be over quickly.”
“Oh boy, you have got a problem,” winked James, irritating her like crazy.
“That's not the best of it,” she continued. “I'm worried I'm pregnant.”

“Have you done a test?”
“No.”
“So what...”
“My body is different James. My breasts feel tender, almost painful and I keep feeling sick.”
“If you keep quiet you can fool Nicky into thinking it’s his baby. He'll never know.”
Alexis wanted to cry but wouldn't let herself. She refused to let James bully her. “You wouldn't want to be the father?”
“Lexy, you have made your choice and you chose Nick.”
“But I don't love him!”

“Then you are in a bit of a pickle aren't you love?” he flashed her a smug smile. “Right, I'm going inside to join your other half. You need to decide what or who you want Lex. Don't pick me purely because of the baby.” He took a final puff on his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray beside Alexis' feet.

Damn him! What was he behaving so obtusely? Had it all been a game to him?

part 5 >>>

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