A VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY by Melody <<< part 1 PART 2 Sean and James arrived on time, laden down with food from the Chinese takeaway near Nicky's home. “We got the set meal for four,” said Sean putting all of the containers on the table cloth covered dining table. “I remembered that we really liked it the last time we got it.” “I'm looking forward to this,” grinned Alexis, inviting Sean to give her a hug, which he immediately did. “Oh it is so good to see you again!” “It's greet to see you too Lexy. It will be even better when you're fully fit again. I can't get over how much weight you've lost.” “Thankfully I'm starting to put some back on.” “Yeah,” said James playfully shooing Sean out of the way, ignorant of the way Nicky was glaring at him. “You need more meat on your bones. Have to say though, you are still bloody gorgeous!” He held her closely, raining lots of kisses over her cheek. “No more mentioning my weight! I feel crap enough about it already. I'm so skinny it’s disgusting.” “Hey now,” whispered James, still holding her. “You are beautiful and always will be, don't forget that Lex.” “Thanks.” Without thinking she kissed James on the lips. When she caught a brief glance of Nicky quietly seething whilst watching her, she parted abruptly from James' embrace. “Let's sit down and eat before it gets cold.” After the meal they all helped Nicky do the pots and James and Alexis then went out into the garden for a cigarette. They chatted about general things for a while until James went strangely quiet. “What's up Bradfield?” she said, cheekily tapping his arse. “Penny for them.” He stared wistfully at her. “I still want you Lex.” “Oh.” Alexis shuffled uncomfortably, she hadn't been expecting that at all. “I know what we agreed but I can't help the way that I feel.” “This is one hell of a day for surprises.” “Huh?” “Nothing,” she said hurriedly. “James, you certainly know how to stun a girl.” “What do you think?” “Truthfully? If you must know I don't think we can go back. You are a sexy, good-looking guy James, but I don't fancy you any more. I'm sorry.” “So am I, I think we'd be good together.” “For how long? Sex isn't enough to keep a relationship going if there is little else.” “We had more than great sex Lexy.” “Yeah, we had a great friendship and still do, so why complicate it?” “Won't you give it a whirl and see how it will go?” “I know how it will end James. It will end the same way as last time, both of us coming to our senses and acknowledging that sexual attraction isn't enough.” He scratched his chin and took a deep drag on his cigarette, letting out a heavy sigh. “Any chance we could be fuck buddies?” “Now you're teasing!” laughed Alexis. “What's the harm?” It dawned on Alexis that James was being serious. “Try explaining that one to Sean and Nicky! Fuck James, ya know, you have had some stupid ideas in your time but that takes the top prize for absurdity!” “Our sex life was always good Lex, you can't deny it.” “It was, I agree, it was the best sex I've had.” “So what's the problem?” “Aside from it being fucking confusing you mean?” “Why confusing?” “Like I said, try explaining it to Sean and Nick.” “If it makes it easier we won't tell them.” “Great!” she exclaimed, “so now you want to lie to them? They would find out James, you know that as well as I do. It's totally unrealistic.” “It would only happen when we weren't seeing anyone.” Alexis stubbed the butt of her cigarette out on the gravel border of the flower bed. “No James. If you wants sex you'll have to have a one night stand won't you? You've done it often enough before.” “I'm tired of all that Lexy. When a couple of your casual shags go to the newspapers it makes you cynical and jaded; you I trust. I know that you would never do that to me.” Alexis was livid. “You need to grow up!” “What?” James discarded his tab end on the ground. “You heard.” Without waiting for him to say anything else, Alexis went back into the house. She and James managed to carry on like nothing had happened for the rest of the evening. What neither of them was aware of, was that Nicky had overheard all of their conversation. It took all of his self control not to give James a piece of his mind about his bizarre suggestion. After all these years, James could still surprise the hell out of him. “Tired honey?” Nicky asked when James and Sean left. “Kind of,” she shrugged. “Another glass of wine would be nice.” He smiled warmly, picked up her glass and refilled it. “There you go,” he said handing it to her. “Thanks,” She took a large gulp of the Australian Shiraz, “I needed that.” “Do you want to talk about what's on your mind?” She stared vacantly at him. “Not sure that I want to to be honest.” “I erm, I overheard what James said to you,” he said quietly. “You did? Oh hell.” She took another swift gulp of her wine. “I'm pleased that you said no, being fuck buddies is a stupid idea.” “Hmm,” she shrugged coyly. “You're having second thoughts?” “Oh no! I'm just totally baffled by it. Though I must confess that the more I think of it, the more I can understand James' point of view.” “I know it’s none of my business but please don't succumb to his charms and end up sleeping with him again. Oh and I'm saying that as a friend, before you ask.” “I know,” she smiled. “It would be a big mistake Nick.” “What about me? Would I be a mistake?” “I think you're being a little unfair.” “Don't tell me that you haven't been thinking about it.” “Of course I've thought about it,” she replied. “I've been wondering how the hell I didn't notice and how come no other fucker has!” “Lexy!” Nicky hated hearing her swear. “Oh come on, give me a break here. After knowing you for more than thirty years I find out something as big as that; course I'm going to be confused and surprised.” She then gave a nervous snigger. “It is not funny!” Objected Nicky, think that she was making fun of him. “I'm not laughing at you Nicky,” she said, still giggling. “I was thinking about when I was in my twenties.” “You've lost me.” Alexis began to explain. “For years I really fancied you. When you went out with a girl I'd get so jealous about it.” Nicky took a sip of his wine, never taking his eyes from her. “And now?” “I don't know,” she replied honestly. “I made myself put those feelings on the back burner, told myself that I was being stupid, and to go find a guy that fancied me.” “Dare you let yourself search your heart to see if you still care enough?” “That is one heck of a big ask Nick,” Alexis sighed, mulling it over. “When I finished with James I vowed never to get involved with a friend again; the potential problems and conflicts are horrendous.” Nicky drank some more of his wine, this wasn't a conversation he was enjoying but he knew that it was one they needed to have. “Does that mean that you don't want to try?” Alexis answered him quickly. “I need to think about it, is what I'm saying. A long time has passed, I'm not sure that I can think of you as anything other than a friend. I know that that isn't the answer that you want and I'm sorry, I just can't be definite about it.” He considered what she had said for a moment. “You aren't dismissing it out of hand and I appreciate that. I do understand your need to think about it, and I won't pressure you Lexy.” “Thank you.” She leaned slightly to the side and kissed his cheek. “The last thing that I want to do, is mislead you.” “You've been very candid, it can't be easy. “This can't be easy for you either.” “It isn't, but it is less painful than seeing you with James, knowing that he's sleeping with you.” “Stop thinking and worrying about that. You know how things stand with James.” “He genuinely does still have feelings for you, Sean has said a few times that James is pining over you and missing you like crazy.” “Sean hasn't said a word to me.” “He purposely didn't. If you got back with James, Sean wanted it to be for the right reasons and not out of pity.” “So much for a nice relaxing break,” Alexis moaned, “this is doing my head in. Whatever I do I'm going to hurt one of you, maybe both of you. What a nightmare.” “I should have kept my bigmouth shut.” “Hey,” she said rubbing a hand up and down his thigh, “at least it’s out in the open now. I'm glad I know, really I am. You're a good man Nicky.” He blushed. “The timing is lousy though.” “It was obviously the right time for it to come out.” “Very philosophical,” he winked. “Things happen for a reason. One way or another this is going to be quite a test for us.” “Yep, what ever you decide, I'll abide by.” “I know that you will.” “Even if you go back to James.” “I won't.” “You might, it has to be a possibility.” “A very distant one then.” “So you think now.” “I KNOW now.” “We'll see.” Sleep was hard to come by for Alexis that night. Her mind was racing, mulling over what Nicky had said to her. Finding out that James still wanted her had taken her by surprise but Nicky's declaration had really rocked her. Being honest with herself she had to admit that she was still attracted to James, mainly due to the great sex. They were great as friends, and as lovers it had been the sex that had glued them together as a couple. Sex alone was never a good reason for a relationship though, and she knew, deep down, that it probably didn't have the legs to be anything remotely long term. They would have a few months of hot sex which would fizzle out, leaving them back as being friends again, and nothing more. For all it riled her to admit it, James was on to something with his 'fuck buddies' scheme. She knew that they would be able to have a few days torrid and then part as friends, with no regrets or recriminations. Then there was Nicky. A guy that she had had a great number of raunchy fantasies and dreams over, albeit some time ago now. Alexis knew that she was more touchy-feely with Nick than she was with any of her other friends. Was that because she still had secret desires for him? Could it be that she still harboured secret desires for her friend? She racked her brain, attempting to get to the truth. Now that Nicky had broached the subject, she needed answers as well. One by one she went back over Nicky's former girlfriends, realising that she hadn't liked many of them. Actually there had only been a couple that she had become reasonably friendly with. With James it was different, she had liked the majority of his girlfriends. Was her attitude to Nicky's girlfriends due to her buried feelings for him? Had she been living in denial all of these years? One thing was certain, she had a lot of thinking to do. It wouldn't be fair on her if she denied her feelings for Nicky if she did still genuinely love him. Likewise it wouldn't be fair of her to start seeing Nick, just to see if those old feelings were there. There would also be James' reaction to cope with. He had a fiery temper when he believed that he had been betrayed or duped, and would, no doubt, take umbrage if she had cause to tell him that he and Nicky were getting closer. He would also call her a hypocrite because she had told him that she would never get romantically involved with a friend again. When she had arranged to see them all and stay at Nicky's, she never expected quite so much difficulty or head scratching. “Sleep ok?” Nicky asked when Alexis joined him in the kitchen. “Nope,” she answered, walking over to the kettle and making a cup of coffee. “Do you want one?” “I'm ok thanks,” he said morosely. “I guess it's my fault that you didn't sleep.” “And James'.” “Did you make any decisions?” He was nervous and fearful of her answer. “I couldn't. I had some fierce arguments with myself though,” she let out a nervous snicker. “The things that you guys put me through.” “Sorry.” Nicky was feeling guilty for making Alexis feel so bad. If only he had kept his thoughts to himself they wouldn't be in this predicament. “Hey, no worries.” Alexis left the kettle to do its stuff and joined Nicky at the breakfast bar. “I feel like such a git for putting you through it.” “It isn't all bad though is it? I mean, you've made me examine my thoughts and actions; I made quite a few discoveries.” “Such as?” “That when I was not in denial about fancying you, I was jealous of your girlfriends. Later on, when I'd buried those feelings, I didn't like any of your girlfriends. With James it was different, I was never jealous and I liked most of them.” “Oh.” “Plus, I am more tactile with you than any of my other friends. Strange that, don't you think?” she gave him a reassuring wink. “One thing I realised that shocked me though is that I could be a fuck buddy with James.” “Oh shit.” Nicky shook his head in despair. “Tell me about it. I've also been forced to accept that I will always be drawn to James – sexually, that is.” “At least I got my answer,” Nicky mumbled running his fingers through his short chestnut hair. “Not quite...” she said softly, stroking his left thigh. “It’s your turn to think about things now. I do still fancy you Nick, hence my behaviour with you. If you and I did get together, James wouldn't be a threat. The question is whether or not you believe that and can cope with it and not get jealous.” “Oh.” Steadily a heart warming grin emerged on his mouth. “Are you really certain about this Lexy?” She nodded. “What do you think.” “I believe you about James, so there is no reason for me to be jealous is there?” “None at all,” she smiled. Slowly Alexis leaned into him and pressed her lips against his. Instinctively Nicky's tongue probed forward, Alexis immediately opening her mouth to reciprocate the kiss. They sighed with desire, both more than comfortable with the turn of events. “Thank you,” Nicky whispered, reluctantly breaking the kiss. Alexis grinned happily. “That was fun.” Nicky stood up and held a hand out to her, inviting her to join him. “Now let me kiss you whilst holding you next to me.” Alexis slid her arms loosely around his neck, moaning with pleasure when his arm snaked around her her waist and pulled her closely against his body. The voyage of discovery had begun. part 3 >>> <<< Melody's stories |