janey_test-of-endurance-3

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TEST OF ENDURANCE by Janey

PART 3

Saturday 19th December ’92
You sigh heavily as you finally pull up outside of Richey’s home and notice the time on the dashboard clock; 5.19pm. Traffic had been horrendous due to the weather conditions and the several accidents along the route, and it had taken over twice the usual amount of time to get there. Gingerly you walk to the back of the car, not wanting to slip in the icy conditions, open the boot and take out the first of the five boxes. One for Nick, Sean, James, Philip and Martin. Richey’s were back at your house along with his birthday presents.
Luckily it wasn’t too long a walk to Richey’s door, which was just as well because the partially thawed snow had started to ice over as the temperature had again dropped. You ring the doorbell and stand shivering waiting for Rich to answer the door. He doesn’t take long but it seems like an eternity in the cold.
“Oh, thank god!” exclaims Rich. “ Come on in, I have been so worried about you.” He takes the box and ushers you quickly inside to the living room.
“Rich this is beautiful,” you say in surprise as your eyes wander around the room, which Richey has recently decorated. It’s very cosy feeling and looking and very warm. “You’ve done a great job, love.”
“Bloody hell Nat I’ve missed you,” Richey takes you into his arms and hugs you to his warm body, breathing in the freshness of your cold hair.
“Oh Teddy you feel so good. I have missed you and your cuddles so much,” and you wrap your arms around him and embrace him enthusiastically, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and deodorant, and nestle into his neck, loving the sound of his breath in your ear.
“Me too,” responds Rich, holding you firmly, before he starts to laugh, which makes you pull back and study him, “that sounded like I had missed me giving me cuddles as well!”
“Oh Rich,” came your warm laugh, “you really are nuts! That’s one reason I love you.”
“And the others…?”
“Help me bring the rest of the stuff inside and then I may tell you,” you giggle as you give Rich a cheeky wink and a sly smile.
“You may tell me? Umm I have to think about that.”
“I’ll make it worth your while.” Mischievously you lower your eyes and then grin back at him with what is an obvious ‘come and get me’ pose.
“Can I claim my prize now as an incentive?” His hands stroke over your neck and his light touch makes you tremble, whilst dark eyes taunt you with their obvious desire.
“May as well face the cold before we get properly…” and you deliberately pause as you lean in to his ear, then throatily and heavily whisper, “heated up.”
“Oh bugger!” exclaims Richey as he darts to the hallway and in a rather flustered state fights to get his trainers on swiftly, making you laugh raucously.
“ Rich you can’t rush out there, you’ll break your bloody neck! Slow down. I am here all night remember.” Now you are standing alongside him.
“C’mon, car keys,” he holds his hand out and so you take the keys from your jeans pocket and start to follow him out of the door. “Oh no you don’t! Go and get a hot bath, I bought you those toiletries you like and a few other bits and pieces that I hoped you could keep here for when you stay. Well, it’s less for you to have to pack isn’t it?”
You gaze at him with delicious trembling sensations washing over and through you and marvel at his thoughtfulness then trace a fingertip fleetingly over his lips, aware that your tawny eyes were glowing with love for the man standing in front of you.
“That’s another reason, Teddy Edwards,” comes the sigh as your soft lips touch his own.

Eventually you agree to let Richey bring all the stuff from the car in himself and rush up the stairs to run the bath. As you reach the top of the stairs you can’t help but smile to yourself as you pass the spare bedroom. The bedroom which, prior to tonight had been the one you always slept in, save for the times when you had kept vigil beside him due to his injuries or alcoholic stupor. Whenever Rich has felt in need of a cuddle he joins you.
You set the water running after putting some of the bathfoam that you love in, and trot off to Richey’s bedroom. Inside you gasp in surprise. The large bed has beautiful satin bedding on it in a delicate ivory shade, and there’s a dark brown, 2-foot tall teddybear sat on one of the pillows with a little note placed on it’s head saying, ‘Natalie – you’ll always have a cuddle here.’ As you hug the exquisite softness against your face, you notice the nightclothes also on the bed, also in satin, and a couple of pairs of jeans, several t-shirts, jumpers, a towelling robe, and slippers.
“I hope I haven’t spooked you,” came the gentle voice behind you making you jump.
“Richey it’s wonderful! Very considerate of you.” All you could do was clutch the teddy and grin stupidly.
“I got you some hair products and brushes too,” and he points to the chest of drawers, then adds, “ that’s for your stuff. I bought it specially.”
“Richey!”
“Don’t get all soppy on me yet!” Richey mocks. “That bath should be ready now, go on in you get and I’ll go make you some ‘proper’ coffee.”
“But you don’t possess a coffee machine Rich.” You reply, slightly confused.
“I do now. I know how you prefer it to the instant, and” now Rich can’t stop smirking as he notices the expression over your face, “ it’s got a grinder thing with it, so that you can do the beans.”
You open your mouth to speak but Richey stops you by putting a finger to your lips, “In that bath. NOW,” then he ushers you into the bathroom, where he leaves you to get undressed as he goes downstairs.
The water and the bubbles feel lovely and soothing as you sink into them, and you let out a giggle as you hear Rich telling you to ‘leave room for a little one.’
Not long after you hear the phone ring, and although you can’t make out what Richey is saying, you know he’s not happy due to the tone of his voice. Then there is the noise of him charging up the stairs, as he enters the bathroom he is breathing heavily and looks awful.
“Rich? What is it?”
“It’s Nick. He’s drunk a bottle of vodka and some wine and has passed out. Sean just rang; he can’t get hold of Martin, Philip or James as apparently some of the phone lines are down. I guess this side of town is pretty lucky huh?”
“Wait and I’ll come with you.”
“No way Nat! You’ve been on the road for how many hours in appalling conditions already today. I’ll go and you can get something to eat. I’ll be back for bed, don’t worry.” Then he was bending over you and kissing your forehead. “You smell good enough to eat!”
“Umm. Hold that thought! Take my car Rich, it won’t be as iced up as yours and will get warm quicker.”
“Thanks gorgeous!” Another kiss, this time he lets it linger on your wet lips for a time, then says, “I love you Nat. Its good to have you home.”
“Go on, off you go. Your best friend needs you.” He nods his head and then is gone, and you hear the front door close behind him.
Nicky hardly ever drank spirits because he couldn’t handle them and you couldn’t help but wonder what the hell had gone on for him to drink so much. It seemed odd that Richey should now be going to help him out when it was usually Nick ensuring that Rich was ok, and whilst a part of you was worried as to how Rich would react to seeing his friend like that, you were acutely aware that you couldn’t wrap him up in cotton wool. Richey was a grown man and sometimes life was hard and threw unpleasant things at us. Now you hoped Rich would be able to confront whatever emotions the situation would stir up, without resorting to cutting or burning himself with his cigarettes.

After your bath you decide to have a sandwich, play some of Richeys records and do some reading. Before long the day catches up with you and you fall asleep, waking to the sound of a key in the door. You are wearing one of the satin night slips that Rich has bought for you and a tiny thong. After all only Rich would be seeing you and his home was lovely and warm, thanks to the central heating which he liked fairly high, so you didn’t need to wear anything over it.
“Well, well.”
You reach for something to cover yourself with in a blind panic, feeling very naked and very vulnerable.
“Fuck James! What are you doing here and how come you have a bloody key?”
James pulls the cushion you’re clinging to away and smiles lustily as much of your body is now bare. “I noticed your car wasn’t here and thought you’d decided not to come, so, I thought I’d see how Richey was. We all have keys, by the way. Just in case.”
His eyes are undressing you as a hand runs lightly over your throat, shoulders and top of your chest, and you become worried. Something about James and his glare spells trouble, but you cannot identify what it is. Then his has hand has begun to explore and is actually touching a breast which makes you inhale sharply with shock. Unfortunately James takes this as a cue to continue and presses his lips down forcefully onto your own; his tongue forcing it’s way into your mouth. Despite trying to scream at him to get off, only muffled noises escape and James, being in the mood he is in, does not seem to acknowledge the distress behind them. Try as you might to kick him and push him away, James is far too strong and grips your arms and pins your legs down beneath his own. Then you suddenly manage to turn onto your side and James stumbles onto the floor giving you the opportunity to stand up.
With obvious fear on your face and in your quivering, panting voice you begin yelling at him to go and to leave you alone.
“Natalie, come on. You loved it I know you did.”
“James if you don’t go, I’ll swear you’ll be sorry.”
“Darling we can’t hide from this forever you know? We both want it so bad.” His hands touch your arms and his erection is evident.
“James, take your hands off me or you will regret it.” Surprising yourself, your voice is firm.
James merely grins even more, “Oh, baby stop teasing. I’ll tell Rich if you can’t face him. Come and have sex with a real man.”
Once more you warn him; “Take your hands off me James.”
Instead James lunges forward to kiss you, only this time you have freedom of movement on your side. Before James knows what’s happening you have grabbed a wrist and twisted his arm up his back and are now forcing him down onto the floor; face down. His screams echo around the house and you half expect the police to come charging in, after a neighbour calls to say they think someone is being murdered. You turn his arm further, knowing that the angle will be causing immense pain, crouch down beside him, and place a knee on the top of his thigh, thus pinning him to the floor.
“Fuck, Natalie let me up!”
“I did warn you James!”
“Let me up before you break my fucking arm!” he yells again.
“Promise to be a good boy, James?” and you can’t help giggling at the ridiculousness of the situation. Here was James, hard man of the Manics, being held down by a woman. Hell he’ll never live it down. “Oh your arm will just be a bit sore. Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone. Promise,” he barked at you.
“Right. I am gonna release you step by step. Any messing and you’ll be back down, only next time I won’t be as gentle.”
Keeping your word you gradually reduce the pressure from each area, and then release your grip on him until he is completely free. Then you walk away from him, and watch as he gingerly gets up; all the while rubbing the arm you had had him pinned with.
“Fuck you!” He spat at you venomously.
“James I did warn you, and you know what my job entails. I’ve had to floor bigger men than you,” without waiting for a response you go to the door and shout to him, “I think you’re leaving now.”
James doesn’t answer, but glares at you with anger as he storms out without once turning back to look at you.

Rich returns almost an hour later, to find you in bed watching a film, snuggling your new Teddy. Much to your relief he is smiling and he walks over, sits on the bed and gives you a kiss with his cold lips.
“Hi ya beautiful,” he whispers softly as his hands start explore you beneath the covers.
“BLOODY HELL.” You yell as the coldness touches you. “Warm those up first!”
“I am doing.” That magnificent smile that he possesses flashes with playfulness. “I intend for us both to get very warm.” And then he hurriedly takes off his clothes, throwing them on a chair, and dives into bed beside you.
“How’s Nick?” you ask cautiously.
“He’ll be fine. Rachel managed to get hold of Martin and he and Sean are staying with him. He’s sleeping it off now, and has stopped vomiting at least.”
“That’s good.”
“Umm. However, let’s not talk about that huh? We have precious little time together as it is!”
No way were you going to argue about that!

Tuesday 22nd December ’92
Richey had arrived at your house yesterday not long after you had got in from work, and today you had spent the whole day together because it was your day off. It was also Richey’s birthday, and he had been so excited when he had first seen how many presents there were for him. Sean had given you all of the ones that they had bought just before you had left Richey’s house on the Sunday, along with his Christmas presents to make sure that he didn’t open them all early.
Rich had decided that each hour he would open some. He had started with the ones from James, and then it was Martin’s, next came Nicky’s and then Philip’s. He was currently sat on the lounge floor, naked except for the joke posing pouch, which had been sent by someone anonymously (and which you were trying to persuade him was not one of your presents), ripping apart the wrapping paper from one of Sean’s gifts.

It was so fulfilling just watching him. His eyes lit up with each one that he opened. Each new item of clothing had to be immediately tried on, each record listened to, and each aftershave or deodorant tried out. He now smelt disgusting as all the different scents merged into one, but he didn’t care; he placed the books in the order he felt he would read them, and had a discussion as to where to put the posters he had received, each time he discovered another one.
It amazed you that he was so meticulous with the way he was stacking his gifts, when generally speaking, he was such a messy little devil.

6pm and it’s time for him to start opening yours. He had opened everyone else’s but was adamant that yours would be last, even though you’d tried to get him to open his parent’s last. Again wrapping paper was thrown everywhere. (That, he was not tidy with!)
As he finishes he tackles you to the floor and kisses you lovingly, deeply and tenderly; his hands tormenting your skin with their delicate touch as he murmurs, “thank you. I love them all.”
“I’m glad,” you sigh back to him.
“Can I have my main present now?” His hot breath is deliciously heady on your neck and is making your thoughts somewhat muddied.
“Main present?” you ask quizzically.
“Umm,” he nods, “you.”
Understanding, you return his grin and then you become a swirling mess of arms and legs as you writhe around together on the floor, ignoring the paper, ribbon and glittery bows which have been discarded.

As you lay together, in amongst the debris, completely sated and enjoying the closeness of each other, you feel different to any other time you and Rich have made love yet don’t know why. All you know is that when he came inside you, something wasn’t the same. Yes, he triggered your own climax and yes, it was as satisfying as ever it was; it was just; well, different. Nothing tangible however, so you try to put it out of your mind and continue to relish having a beautiful, naked Rich hugging you.

Friday 25th December ’92
“Rich the food smells gorgeous! I hope it tastes as good,” you smile broadly as you walk in through the door.
“Me too! My mum was very good at showing me everything, and very patient today too. I’ve rung her so many bloody times to check things. It should be ready in half an hour so you have time for a shower first.”
“Wanna join me?”
“Wish I could love but I have to lay the table and keep an eye on things. Don’t wanna ruin it now.” Strong arms enfold you warmly and he nibbles along your collarbone. “Damn you distract me so easily.”
“Ditto.”
Richey pats you on your bottom and then laughs aloud as he tells you to go get showered.

He had surprised you that morning by getting up with you and taking you to work, then there was the dinner. How on earth Sherry had turned her son from someone who could ruin beans on toast into someone who could cook a two course Christmas lunch to perfection had you absolutely baffled. He had even refused for you to help him do the washing up.
The usual chaos surrounded the opening of the presents with Rich being very neat and careful with each of his gifts, but throwing the paper and all the other paraphernalia all around the room, until it was difficult to make out the carpet beneath. His whoops of delight were a joy to hear, and, he took as much interest in the gifts that you received as his own.
One of his gifts for you had made you cry. It was a gold locket with pictures of you both inside, which he had had engraved with, ‘soul mates for eternity.’
A ring had similarly moved him that you had bought with the words. ‘Always and forever Rich and Nat.’

Now though was the tricky time. Calling everyone to thank them for the presents. Everyone apart from James had been contacted, and Richey was in the middle of dialling his number. You had decided against telling Rich what had happened that night whilst he had been at Nick’s, because you worried how he would be with James. The two of them had often gone out on ‘pulling’ nights, and also for drinks. Besides, the relationship between them both was not as close as was back then, though Rich had told you recently that it was, ‘getting there.’
“Nat, come and talk to James,” says Rich excitedly as he raises the phone.
“Thank you for the pressies James, they’re lovely. You’ve spoilt us both,” although you are smiling it is not a real smile.
“You haven’t told him have you Nat?”
“No, James really. You shouldn’t have.”
“I thought so. Is that because you really want me? Or perhaps you want to have us both?”
“Not at all.”
“He’s there I guess and that’s why you can’t talk. Hell I could have fun with this.” He starts laughing.
“I’ll pass you to Rich, James. OK”
“How do you think Rich will feel when he finds out you haven’t told him something like that Nat? With all his doubts and insecurities it will hurt him. I warned you that you’d both fuck each other up.”
“Merry Christmas, James,” you hurriedly pass the phone back to Rich who is more than a little surprised at the speed of the conversation you’ve both had.

“I had hoped you two had put your differences aside,” he whispers as he pulls you into his arms when he is finished speaking with James.
“There’s been a lot of crap from that man, Rich. I can’t forgive or forget that easily.”
“Want to talk about it?” he asks with concern as he wipes away a tear which has begun to fall.
Shaking your head you reply, “not today babe. Today’s been wonderful, let’s not let him spoil it huh?”

SO, INTO 1993
Rich cleared it with Philip and Martin that he could stay with you into the middle of January, so you had both been able to celebrate your birthday together on 5th January, as well of course, as seeing in the New Year. You hadn’t gone out to a party, nor had you had copious amounts of alcohol to welcome 1993. Instead you welcomed in the New Year by spending the whole night in bed laughing at one of those shows that reviews the previous 12 months, and making love. At the moment the year changed, you and Richey were having a particularly passionate and frenzied love making session, and it was almost half an hour into the year when you finally wished one another happy new year.

Wednesday 20th January ’93
Nicky is cavorting around in a ridiculous pink minidress that Rich has had made for him, along with a floppy hat (from Sean), chiffon scarf (from James) and stockings (from Rachel!) singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to himself. It’s wonderful to see them all in such high spirits and even James is behaving and letting Nick take centre stage.
Yet as thrilled and happy as you are you don’t join in the revelry, instead you sit down on a studio chair looking incredibly pale and feeling nauseous.
“Nat you shouldn’t have come. It’s obvious you’re not well,” says Martin as he hugs you.
“It’s ok, really. I’m just tired Martin. I’ve worked so many extra hours because of all the problems we’ve had and then of course I was at work last night. I just need my sleep.” You can’t help but rub your eyes. “Anyway I wanted to see Rich. I have two days with him and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“I still can’t believe that you two have known each other all these years and never did anything,” he sighs. “Oh, I know Philip and I had our concerns Nat, but it’s obvious from the way you are with each other that you’re mad about each other. And as for Richey, where do I start? He is so happy, so relaxed it’s unreal.”
“Not the best choice of phrases,” you giggle.
“Guess not,” concedes Martin. “But he hasn’t been drunk or cut since that time in November. I know that’s only a few months but he hasn’t even expressed a wish to. We’ve had no late night phone calls with Rich in a state of distress. For the first time in a long time he’s actually making plans, would you believe!”
Before you have a chance to say anything Richey sits down beside you and caresses your face sweetly and smiles, “I think we should get you back home, love.”
‘Home’ That’s what he always called it now. Before it had always been ‘lets go back to yours / mine.’
You stand up without arguing but then the nausea starts to rise and you know you’re gonna be sick. You race as fast as you can muster to the toilets and just make it before vomiting into the toilet. Rich has followed you in and rubs a hand soothingly up and down your back as the waves of nausea convulse your body violently. Several times you try to get up, only to start retching once more. Your body aches everywhere and tears pour down your reddened face.
“Oh babe, I’m gonna get you a doctor.” Richey’s voice is trembling with the worry of seeing you like this, and the frustration of not knowing what to do.
You wait until it’s been several minutes since you have been sick and then start to clean yourself up. Your reflection in the mirror is not quite as grey as it was, nor are your eyes quite as red, and you push your sweat soaked hair off your face with your fingers.
“Rich, can we stop at a chemists on the way home?”
“Chemists?” he asks, “I’m getting the doctor I told you.”
Just the two of you are in the studio toilets and as you won’t be overheard you say tenderly to him, “Rich I don’t think I’m sick I think I’m pregnant.”
“What?” at first he appears totally stunned and you worry that he doesn’t want to hear it, then slowly, very slowly, his magnificent smile spreads across his face and he’s picking you up in his arms, and kissing your cheeks and neck. “Wow! I’m gonna be a dad!”
“Rich be quiet. Its bad luck to announce it before you’re about 12 weeks, beside we need it confirming.” Then you ask, “Are you alright with this? It’s just it’s very quick.”
“I know. Together two months and we’re gonna be parents!” Rich is grinning broadly now and he can’t seem to stop rubbing a hand over your stomach. “I think this is a sign of some sort that we are meant to be together Nat.”
“Since when have you believed in all that stuff?”
“Dunno. I just think that there must be a reason for your being pregnant so quickly.”
“Well, if I am, it’s gonna be fun telling everyone. I can think of a few people who are going to tell us that we’re irresponsible and should have taken more care.”
“How do you feel about it? You haven’t said.” His huge dark brown eyes wistfully look at you, waiting for a response.
“I think if I am, its wonderful! If not a little frightening.”
“I know but together we can do it. We’ll be great parents don’t you think?”
“I hope so Rich. We’ll certainly be loving parents,” you smile. “Let’s go home now.”
With a hand on the small of your back Richey guides you to his car, telling the others that you just need to rest and you’ll be fine. He stops at the first open chemists that he sees and buys a testing kit.
Once home (that word again) you go to the bathroom, read the instructions to the test, and while a nervous Rich waits outside, does as it says and then all you can do is wait. Rich is already pacing like an expectant father when you join him in the bedroom, anxiously wanting the required time to be over so that you know one way or the other. You keep studying you watch; Rich keeps studying his. He sits on the bed; he gets up and paces; he sits down, and so on.
“Time.” Rich huddles close to you as you re-read the instructions again, and then you show him the wand.
“Yes! We’re having a baby! Natalie, I love you!”
He sweeps you in his arms and the two of you kiss as you have tears of happiness falling down your cheeks. Right now, you are the only two people who exist.

Part 4

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