janey_sooner-or-later

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SOONER OR LATER by Janey

PART 1

Dina walked over to the desk that James and Nicky were sat at, both lost in what they were discussing, threw some papers down in front of Nicky and said, very firmly yet calmly; “I am not here to do personal work for you! If I can help I will, but dumping 3 inches worth of stuff on my desk is unreasonable, unforgivable and is just generally taking the piss, especially…” she glared at him when Nicky opened his mouth to interrupt and he soon thought better of it. “ Especially when you want it ASAP! I suggest you either a) learn to use a computer so that you can do all this yourself, or b) get yourself a fucking secretary! Next time ask.”

Nicky watched open mouthed in shock, as the petite brown haired pocket dynamo turned her back on him and walked away with her head held high, and then glared at James when he started laughing like mad.
“Sorry, sorry,” spluttered James, trying and failing to quell the laughter, “but I warned you that you were skating on thin ice with her. Remember you did this at the beginning of last week and she threatened to castrate you and hang your dick from the rafters for all to see if you tried it again.”
“Thanks for your support!”
“Can’t help it!” roared James, tears rolling over his cheeks as he lapsed into near hysteria. “You’ve got off lightly!”
“Oh, I’m not so sure about that,” Nicky sighed suddenly appearing very pale and worried. “Look at this.”

He handed James a note that he had found attached to one of the papers in the bundle; ‘You obviously have no problem contemplating a life without your dick, then again perhaps it’s so tiny you wouldn’t miss it any way. I haven’t forgotten what I told you last week, so stop pushing your luck, Dina x.’
“She’s got balls has our Dina, I’ll give her that,” grinned James, handing the note back to Nicky. “I just wish you’d both stop faffing about and just bloody jump in the sack and shag each other.”
“James!” shrieked Nicky, waving his arms to get his friend to quieten down so no one else would hear.
“Don’t try and deny it Wire. I’ve seen you both staring at the other when you don’t think they’re watching and then blushing like hell when you got caught doing it, and when you touch accidentally, well, what a picture!” James’ brown eyes sparkled with good natured mischief, he meant no harm by what he said and Nicky knew it was the truth; he adored Dina, he just didn’t know what the hell to do about it.

“Nicholas Allen Jones!” boomed a voice from behind them both, and Nicky knew who it was without having to turn round to look.
“Martin,” he sighed with a heavily downcast voice expecting a telling off.
“What is it with you and Dina huh?” Martin wanted to know as he pulled out a chair and sat opposite James and Nicky, oh well, at least he seemed to be in a reasonably good mood. “Why don’t you just ask her out? This is cute, but it’s also getting beyond a joke, so either leave her alone and move on or do something about it.”
“I don’t know. It’s been a long time,” said Nicky, wringing his hands together nervously, his anxiety getting the better of him.
“And it’s been more than two years since the divorce Nicky. It’s not like you haven’t gone out with other women is it?” observed James. “Just goes to prove how much you like Dina.”
“What if I make a total twat of myself?”
“Nicky,” said Martin with seriousness, “you’ve made a career out of being a twat so why worry now?” He and James giggled at the comment but then tried to appear suitably ashamed of themselves as Nicky flashed them a stare full of contempt.

“Go on Nicky!” urged James. “The worst she can do is tell you to get lost.”
“Oh ok then!” Nicky said in exasperation. “I’ll go and apologise first and see what happens.”
“You’ve missed your chance now,” Martin said as Nicky pushed his chair back and started to stand up. “She’s taking some time back and left early. You either have to wait till next week or go and see her at home.”
“Great. It will have to wait then ‘cos I don’t know her address.”
“And I couldn’t possibly give you it all though I have a bad habit of sometimes leaving personal files on my desk, and hers is one I need to check in a few minutes.” Martin stood up, winked at Nicky, patted James on the shoulder and then tootled off back to his office.
“Talk about peer pressure,” moaned Nicky, running a hand through his short brown hair nervously.
“It’s for your own good,” said James earnestly. “Without a little push you two will never do anything about it and the air crackles with sexual tension whenever you’re near each other. We just want you to be happy, even Sean is reaching the end of his patience ‘cos it’s taking you so bloody long.”
“Yeah well, it’s the weirdest feeling when you’ve spent so many years of your life loving one person to suddenly realise that you actually have those feelings about someone else,” explained Nick. “Hopefully you and Mylene won’t ever be in this situation. It’s unnerving.”
James said nothing simply because he knew that there was nothing that he could say.

Nicky shifted anxiously from one foot to the other, clutching a huge bouquet in front of Dina’s front door. He had been there for more than five minutes but was still trying to summon up the courage to actually knock and let her know that he was there, the thought of being rejected petrified him. His feelings for her were so strong that he wasn’t sure how rejection would hit him.

Knock knock

There he’d done it! His heart was beating so loudly he was sure that she would be able to hear it. His thoughts were distracted as he heard the door being unlocked and then it opened steadily until he caught a brief glimpse of a foot peeking out at the bottom.
“Oh,” said a shocked voice. “Erm Nicky, what are you doing here? How did you know my address?”
All he could see was still the one foot protruding from the bottom of the door, her head, neck, left forearm and hand as she held the door open. “I erm, I asked around, said it was urgent I got in touch with you so don’t get mad with anyone. Any chance I could come in? I have quite a bit of grovelling to do I think.”

Dina gazed at him, he seemed more nervous than she could ever recall; he was usually the most confident and out going of the Manics and it was odd to see him so unsure of himself. He kept staring down at his feet, running a hand through his hair, and his mouth twitched as if he was uncertain if he should smile or not.
“Nice flowers,” Dina smiled, opening the door completely. “Come on in Nicky. You can’t stay there all night.”
He followed her into the kitchen and watched as she put the kettle on to boil. “Erm, the er flowers,” he stuttered, “are for you.”

A large smile spread across her beautiful face and she walked over to him, kissed him on the cheek and stood the flowers in the sink and ran some water into the sink for them. Then she moved back in front of Nicky and continued to smile at him. “Thank you, they’re beautiful but there was no need.”
He was starting to relax and grinned back at her; “I wanted to.”
“Well, thank you again.” Dina moved right in front of him reached out and touched his shoulder, then gradually stroked her way down his arm to his wrist and then back to his shoulder; he was visibly shaking, and she heard him suck his breath in under her caress. “I hope I have enough vases for them all.”
Nicky had been transported to a little fantasy world and was silently anticipating a kiss, not a friendly one on his cheek, but a proper deep French kiss; it never came.

Although confused and bewildered he stayed and had a cup of tea with her whilst trying to explain himself. He tried to tell her that he had wanted to get her attention but was too scared of her ignoring him to talk with her. Unfortunately for Nick the words didn’t come out; he was too nervous so he merely apologised for expecting her to do some work for him without asking if it was ok with her first.
“I’m not quite the harridan that you seem to think I am,” she said shaking her head and smirking. “Even if I did threaten to castrate you, I kinda thought you’d confront me about it, but you didn’t, kinda surprised me I have to say.”
“If someone had threatened to attack your privates I think it may have silenced you somewhat too,” he managed to grin at her. “Not to mention that you were going to hang my dick from the rafters.”
Dina started laughing. “You just caught me on a bad day,” she spluttered. “I was kinda weighing something up, see there’s this guy that I really fancy and we used to tease each other and have some banter flowing back and forth, then he kinda backed off. Maybe I read the signals wrong huh?”
Nicky stared into her normally expressive hazel eyes: nothing, absolutely impassive. ‘Is she talking about me or does she fancy someone else and I’ve got it all badly wrong?’ he wondered.
“Come on,” she said sprightly, intruding on his thoughts. “You can help me put those lovely flowers into some vases.”
“Yeah,” he numbly answered, still pondering the situation.

Nicky trimmed the flowers of excess leaves and trimmed the stalks, and Dina arranged them in to four large vases, Nicky still in a world of his own. They hardly spoke to each other, but Dina smiled broadly to him and several times stroked him on his arms; Nicky didn’t acknowledge her touch.

They finished, Dina placed the flowers in various rooms whilst Nicky washed his hands and cleaned all the cuttings and trimmings away. When Dina returned the kitchen was all nice and tidy again.
“So, you being a man and understanding the male way of thinking,” Dina said confidently, standing in front of Nicky and gazing into his blue eyes, “have I misread the signals? Are we friends and nothing more?”

‘Hang on’ thought Nicky, ‘why is she looking at me THAT way when she asks that?’
“It’s hard to say,” he eventually stammered, unable to maintain eye contact in case he was getting the wrong impression.
Dina edged nearer to him, and rested a hand on the curve of his right shoulder. “You must know how you feel Nicky. Have I misread the signals? Are we friends and nothing more?”
Through narrowed eyes Nicky stared at her; had she really said what he thought she had? Dina grinned at him, her hazel eyes sparkling and expressive now; she wanted him.

“Erm, I’ve gotta go!” he said shakily and briskly walked to the door, opened it and before Dina could catch up to him, had closed it and was running down the street as fast as he could.

Dina stared at the door, stunned at the turn of events, ‘oh well. I got my answer didn’t I?’ she sighed heavily to herself. ‘Yet another almighty fuck up!’

Nicky spent the weekend shut off from all his friends and family. He didn’t answer the phone and ignored James and Mylene when they stopped round to see him, even though it had been arranged for days. James had tried getting him to come to the door but Nicky had no intention of acknowledging them; he was moping about feeling very sorry for himself and couldn’t be doing with people trying to cheer him up.
“Wait till I bloody see him,” said James angrily as he and Mylene eventually decided to give up, “he won’t know what’s hit him.”
“Stop being so horrible,” Mylene replied slipping her hand in his, “he’s in love and it’s confusing him. He’s allowed to behave irrationally. You did it enough with me as I recall!”
“Umm. Can’t argue with that,” he giggled back.

Dina avoided Martin as much as possible when she got back to work on Monday. She knew that Nicky and James were due back in the office and she was dreading it, she had made such a prat of herself. It was almost lunchtime and still no sign of them, Dina began to relax a little; ten more minutes and she would be leaving for a meeting, knowing that today would be the last time Nicky would go to the office for many months.

“How was your weekend?” Martin asked cheerfully when he met her near the lift.
“Fine thanks,” she smiled. The lift arrived and she hurried inside. “See you tomorrow.”
Once the doors had closed her mask slipped and she allowed herself to look as sad as she was feeling. If she didn’t meet up with Nicky before she got into her car, that would be the end of everything. As much as she hoped that was what would happen, she was also hoping that it wasn’t. Hell but this love thing was tricky.

With a heavy heart Dina exited the Hall or Nothing carpark, at the same time the car carrying Nicky was turning in to the entrance on the opposite side so they never saw each other.

“Come on!” urged Martin with excitement when Nicky entered his office “Tell me what happened with you and Dina. Did you spend the night together or what?”
Nicky stared down at his feet and began fidgeting. First he messed about with his hair, then he was tugging and pulling at the t-shirt he was wearing, then he picked at his fingers and so on, anything to avoid looking at Martin.
“Nicky! Come on, spill the beans.”
“Nothing happened,” Nicky mumbled.
“Nick I didn’t understand that at all.”
“Nothing happened,” Nicky repeated slightly clearer. “I bottled it.”

“Oh Nicky,” Martin sighed, he could see how confused and upset Nicky was and sat beside him and put an arm around his shoulder. “Oh Nicky, I am so sorry. It’s all my fault, I pushed you into this.”
“No you didn’t,” Nicky said heavily forcing a wry smile, “you and James both gave me the kick up the arse that I needed. I just, this is pathetic I know but I feel like I’m betraying Rachel. We were a couple for so many years together, married for almost eleven and it’s hard to let go of that; I still love her I guess.”
“You both still love each other but not enough and not in the right way. You’re protective of her, that’s understandable but you have a life to live and Rachel would be the first one to encourage you to grab this chance of happiness that you have.”
“I know you’re right. It’s well; it’s quite frankly the scariest feeling in the world. It’s not just me and my emotions that I need to consider is it? I have to think of Clara too.”
“True, but you wouldn’t expect Dina and Clara to just start spending lots of time together; it will be a gradual thing, so that Clara gets used to you being together and can accept that.”

“Martin it all seems so complicated.”
“Stop thinking too far ahead. You and Dina aren’t even seeing one another yet so it’s a bit premature to start worrying about Clara; although it’s good that you’re aware that it’s a delicate situation and of course your instinct is to protect her.”
“I don’t have any excuses for seeing her now though do I? I’ve apologised for being an inconsiderate twat over the paperwork I gave her and after this there will be no more bloody documents to sign so I don’t have to come here to the offices.”
“I can always tell her that I’ve assigned her to go to your home for a day with her lap top to help sort out your paperwork,” Martin grinned conspiratorially. “I doubt she’d back chat her boss.”
“No thanks. I need to think about this carefully, perhaps I don’t want it enough and that’s why I bottled it the other night.”
Martin glared at him as if to say; ‘who are you trying to convince?’

Nicky was about to go when James and Mylene arrived. Mylene hugged Nicky warmly and he patted her growing baby bump lovingly.
“Suits you,” he smiled. “Sorry about the other day; I just couldn’t face anyone.”
“It didn’t go well I take it?” asked James also hugging his friend.
“I didn’t say anything to her, then she asked me if she was misreading the signals and were we only friends, and well, I legged it outta there as quick as I could.”
“Bloody hell Wire,” James sighed. “What are we going to do with the pair of you huh? You have got it bad haven’t you?”
“Umm, well I’m not going to do anything other than think. Any way, I have to go. I have an appointment with my beautiful daughter in less than half an hour and I daren’t be late. See you guys.”
“What the hell is there for him to think about?” queried James when Nicky had left them.
Martin explained to James and Mylene all about the doubts that Nicky was having and all of the concerns too.

Dina stared at Phil’s telephone number. She had agreed to go out on a date with him that night, but even now was thinking of an excuse to get out if it. She had said yes as a reaction to Nicky’s rejection, it was nice to feel wanted and desired again. There was no real attraction between them, oh they got on well enough as colleagues but Dina knew she had made a big mistake. The honourable thing to do however was to go on the date and then apologise but let him know that she didn’t think they had a future; that way she would be giving him a chance, or was that worse? Would she be leading him on if she did that?
‘Damn Nick Jones! How dare he make me feel this way?’ she berated herself.

Sean called Nicky up over teatime and told him whether he liked it or not he was going to take him out for a drink. Unfortunately for Nicky, Sean knew that although Nicky had been seeing Clara, she wasn’t staying overnight with him, so he couldn’t use her as an excuse.

Dina wasn’t especially keen on wine bars, pretentious, she thought, and she was finding it increasingly difficult to appear enthusiastic with Phil. His repartee was already boring her. This could quite possibly turn into the longest night of her life.

Nicky entered the wine bar hesitantly, not much of a drinker these days anyway, he always thought that wine bars were somewhat pretentious, still Sean had insisted stating that it would be quiet enough for them to be able to talk without having to shout. He ordered a glass of Australian white and found a table toward the back of the dimly room so that they could be quite private.

Dina checked twice; it was him. Nicky had walked past her and sat at a table at the back of the room. ‘Please don’t let him see me’, she pleaded silently to no one in particular, casting her glance downward and covering her face with a hand. Meanwhile Phil carried on talking, completely oblivious to her discomfort.

Only a few hours earlier she had been on the phone with Martin listening to him saying how sure he was that Nicky likes her and she had confessed to him that she was nuts about Nicky but was worried that she had frightened him off. Martin had placated her and calmed her somewhat by telling her not to worry, he was sure that Nicky just needed a little time to come to terms with his own emotions. For more than half an hour he had encouraged her not to give up but to continue to be herself and give him time, now here she was out with another man. Talk about timing.

Nicky drank his wine quickly, playing with the glass in between sips weighing up whether he should actually stay and wait for Sean or give up and go back home, he wasn’t comfortable and couldn’t wait to get out of there. Wiping his mouth after the last of his wine had been drunk, Nicky stood up deciding to get another and wait for Sean, well it seemed impolite to leave without even meeting him.

He saw her, and a huge smile spread over his face and a warmth ran through his body; she seemed sad and distracted and that saddened him so he decided to go and say hello. That was when he noticed that she had company; a man, who was chattering away most animatedly. Nicky tried to understand the sight before him; was Dina having some kind of business meeting over drinks and finding it incredibly tedious, or was she on a date?

Her head still downcast, Dina cast Nicky a sideways glance from beneath the soft curls of her hair. That was when Nicky knew; she was embarrassed that he had caught her with someone else. Inside his rage built up. All weekend he had been concerned because he had behaved like a childish twat and now here she was, with another man. It certainly hadn’t taken her long to get over him. No wonder she was being so sheepish and trying to hide away from him, he was intruding on her love life

“Didn’t take you long did it?” he spat on reaching her, placing an elbow on the table and whispering menacingly into her ear. “I am so glad I didn’t waste my time and energy on you.” He then turned his attention to Phil, who was watching with utter bemusement and added, “don’t waste your time on her either, she no doubt has someone else in the wings in case you don’t work out!”

Dina was livid with him; she stood up and pushed her chair back to confront him, unworried by the height difference. “You arrogant self righteous bastard! You ran out on me, quite literally ran out on me at that. Fuck, you couldn’t get out of the door quick enough so don’t you DARE try to make me feel guilty! I have done nothing wrong, so leave us alone!”
“With pleasure!” he fumed, then stormed out of the wine bar.
“What was wrong with him?” Phil finally asked when Nicky had gone. “I didn’t know you two were having a thing.”
“We aren’t and we weren’t,” answered Dina. “Oh great, this is all I need,” she moaned when Sean entered the bar and smiled when he noticed her.

“Dina! You look lovely, how are you doing?” he asked her cheerfully, giving her a kiss on both cheeks.
“If you’re here for Nicky you’ve missed him,” Dina said heavily and hesitantly. “We argued and he left.”
Dina turned to Phil; “Sorry but I really need to talk with Sean ok, and let’s be honest, tonight is an unmitigated disaster so why don’t we call it quits? I’ll see you later in the week Phil but this isn’t going to work.”
“At least now I know what’s been bugging you all night. Night Dina.” He smiled and left without another word leaving Dina and Sean to talk.

She explained to him about how important Nicky was to her but that she was worried that it wasn’t reciprocated, she also told him what Martin had said during their conversation, and Sean had said pretty much the same himself.
“Shouldn’t you go to make sure he’s ok?”
“Ahh Wire will be fine. He’ll go home, sulk a bit and then call to say he’s safe and sound. If I went round there now he wouldn’t talk to me anyway so what’s the point? I’ve got my mobile on me, so I may give him a call myself. I haven’t decided yet.”
They had one drink together and Sean ensured that she got into a taxi to go straight home.

Dina had a shower when she got in, poured herself a neat whiskey and settled on the sofa to watch a couple of programmes that she had recorded. The first programme, a thriller, was nearly over when there was a knock at the door. Initially she didn’t even think of going to answer it but then the knocking became more and more insistent, driving her crazy and she knew she would have to answer it or she would lose her temper.

She made sure she kept the safety on when she opened it. “NICKY!” Instinctively her fingers fumbled with the buttons on her navy blue satin pyjamas, she wasn’t dressed for visitors.
“Can I come in? I wouldn’t blame you if you slammed the door in my face, but please, let me in so that we can talk.” He was so dejected. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes dull and lifeless rather than vivid and sparkling.
“I’ll give you ten minutes,” she said, then stood aside and opened the door wide for him to enter. After closing it she turned and Nicky was stood right in front of her. “Go through.”
“I’ll stay here thanks, I don’t want to mess your night up any more than I already have.”
“You didn’t mess it up Nick, it was about to receive the last rites anyway.”

Nicky blocked her way; there was no where for her to go and Nicky was a bit too big to push out of the way. Dina caught a glimpse of the nervous smile that had curled onto his lips, how she loved that smile of his, so beautiful. Without thinking she sniggered and rested a hand on his arm, squeezing the firm muscle beneath gently. They stared at each other, the air crackling with tension.
“Oh Dina,” Nicky sighed through slightly parted lips.

Dina moaned and inhaled sharply, Nicky’s head was getting nearer to hers, his arms snaking tenderly around her waist, pulling her body into his own, she closed her eyes and then his soft lips touched hers; his tongue nudging her lips, then sliding into her mouth, teasing her mouth. She whimpered, wrapped her arms around him and caressed the nape of his neck. As their bodies brushed together Dina was aware of his erection pressing against her and her body was reacting to it.

Nicky slipped a hand beneath the elastic waistband of her pyjama bottoms, and sighed when he met no further obstructions to his path. With their passions and desires rising, their hands began to caress and stroke, and their kisses became more frantic. Dina hissed when Nicky began to stroke her wetness.
“Come to bed,” Dina murmured breathlessly. Nicky smiled at her, nodded and then followed her as she went up the stairs to her bedroom.

Swiftly, expertly and tenderly he removed her pyjamas before making her laugh by discarding his own clothes without a care and just throwing them down on the floor, he then stifled her laughter by kissing her deeply, his tongue dancing with hers.

He made love to her frantically and then cradled her head to his chest, and curled an arm around her waist as she gradually fell asleep, feeling safe and protected in his long strong arms.

Dina stretched when she woke up needing to go to the bathroom, and smiled to herself recalling the events of the previous evening. She turned around to look at Nicky and give him a brief kiss on his forehead but he wasn’t there. Panicking she sat up in bed after switching on the bedside lamps; his clothes were gone.
She hunted around the house for a note but couldn’t find one anywhere. After going to the bathroom she went back into bed and cried herself to sleep.

She had threatened him once with castration and chopping off his dick, the way things stood now she could easily carry it out.

Part 2 >>>

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