janey_room121-2

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ROOM 121 by Janey <<< part 1

PART 2

The first thing I did when I got back was to take a shower. Feeling a little more human I took all of the papers and pads from my documents case, slowly perused them, making notes and alterations as I went through them. Not in the mood for company in the dining room, I decided to call down for room service. As I was putting the phone down there was a knock at my door.

“Are you coming to join us?”
It was Richey looking gorgeous in a red t-shirt, black jeans and a black leather jacket.
“I’ve ordered room service Richey,” I answered still hiding behind the door so he couldn’t see me dressed only in the towelling robe. “Not in the mood for a dining room full of people.”
“Oh,” he answered, his gaze lowering to the floor, disappointment evident in his features and stance. “That’s a shame.”

He looked so forlorn and lost, my heart went out to him (again). “I could always ring down and order for you as well. I’ve told them I don’t want it for an hour.”
His face lit up. “Would you mind? It will be great to spend time with you.” He turned to the side. “You guys go on, we’re doing room service.”

As I opened the door to give him access, he flashed me one of his 200-megawatt killer smiles; no one else smiled as bright or beautiful as Richey. His smiles were radiant and could illuminate a room.

“Give me two minutes to put some clothes on,” I laughed, closing the door.
“Do you have to? You look beautiful as you are and you wear a robe so well!” His eyes sparkled with joy and happiness.
“At least let me put some underwear on to preserve my modesty.”
“Would that be to stop me from getting the wrong idea and get carried away with you Lara?”
He moved toward me but I wasn’t afraid.
“It’s for both of us Richey. It’s good that we can talk and be friends but I don’t want to send out mixed messages and give you the wrong idea.”
“And what would that be Lara? That there is never going to be a relationship again or that it will take us time to progress to that?”

I stared at him open mouthed; he had asked me the question I had been dreading. I had always been worried that if I met Richey again my old feelings would resurface but I hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly, or that I would actually be considering it. From the way he was grinning at me, I swear he was reading my mind.

“In all honesty Richey I can’t answer that because I’m not sure. What I want and what’s right may be two completely different things.”
“So you’ve thought about it? Considered it?”
“I mulled over the possibility, yes.”
“And your conclusion?”
“That it is way too soon to be thinking of it. We’re friends and I’m happy with that. It didn’t work before and it usually ends in disaster if you try and revisit old relationships in the faint hope that you can make them work. I honestly don’t think that I could deal with the pain of losing you again.”

“Who is saying that you would lose me?”
“Richey please don’t. It’s not appropriate for us to discuss this. I’ve met you again, hope we can keep in touch but let’s not…”
“Let’s not be happy like we used to be Lara?” he interjected, gently stroking my face with his fingers. “We still love each other so why not try again?”
“Because it’s in the past Rich,” I stated firmly, moving away from him.

“We could at least try,” he implored, pain etched across his handsome face. “I’m not the same fucked up Richey I was Lara. Give me a chance, that’s all I ask.”
Suddenly I was yet more conscious of my nakedness beneath the robe. “I’m letting you back into my life so please don’t ask me for more than I can give. Right now I don’t envisage us being more than friends that may change. I’m just not prepared to say that it will when I don’t know.”

“I don’t think I could cope with knowing that you were seeing someone else; that they were kissing and making love to you Lara. I would be devastated.”
I sighed aloud in exasperation. “That may well be something that you have to deal with Richey. It’s unrealistic to expect me to put my life on hold for fear of hurting you. Either you accept me as a friend or we cease contact. It’s up to you.”

“Why can’t you say that we can try again?” he pleaded.
“Richey, we have only just met up again. We didn’t part in the best of circumstance and it would be an act of folly to dive straight back in,” I said, getting frustrated. “Resuming our friendship will give us the opportunity to rediscover one another. Right now your feelings are based on who we were; things were so different for us back then.” If only he knew how much I wanted to give in to him and take him in my arms, it would be the most natural thing in the world.

“If I’m being unreasonable I’m sorry,” he muttered sadly. “What you are saying makes sense, but that doesn’t mean that I want to hear it.”
“I know.”
“I had to let you go Lara but now I want you back and I know that’s what you want.”
“We can’t always have what we want Rich,” I said wryly. “Now, are you going to order some food or not?”
“You still want me to stay?” he asked, clearly bewildered.
“Yes I do. Running away or ignoring this isn’t going to make it go away. We need to come to terms with it and be honest,” I grinned. “Now you order room service and remember to tell them to add it to mine, while I go and put some underwear on.”
He chuckled, picked the phone up and proceeded to order peppered steak with seasonal vegetables. “I’ll get us a drink fixed up; you go and get changed or whatever,” he grinned.

I placed my robe on the hook behind the door then took a pair of knickers and a bra out of a drawer, and placed them on the bed, then looked in the wardrobe. I felt a presence in the room with me but hadn’t heard the door open or the footsteps.

“Personally I think you should stay that way.”
“Richey!” I shrieked, spinning around forgetting that I was naked and supplying him with a flash of all that I had. “What the…”
“You were taking so long so I thought I’d make sure that you were ok, but you’re better than ok; you are beautiful.”
Slowly he walked the last few feet until he was right in front of me, his brown eyes twinkling with life. I was transfixed, unable to move or say anything at all.

“Lara, I swear I can remember each inch of you.”
I shivered, sucked in some air when he traced a fingertip down from my clavicle, in between my breasts, stopping at my stomach and then doing the return journey. For all I knew that I ought to stop him, I couldn’t, he had an almost hypnotic hold over me and rather than backing off or pulling away, I knew that my eyes were encouraging him to continue.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” he drawled. “Say the word Lara.”
“Richey,” I whimpered pathetically.
“Richey stop or Richey please go on?”
“Please.”
I closed my eyes as his hand now spread over my stomach, stroking it lovingly. Then both his hands were on my back, guiding me into him, his mouth capturing mine, making me hiss at the contact.

“Room service.”
“You stay here,” Richey smirked throwing back the quilt and hurriedly putting on his boxers and jeans. He trotted through, opened the door and I heard the trolley being wheeled into the room, then the door closed.
“So, are we going to eat in bed or are you getting up?”
“I erm, I’ll get up,” I blushed as he kissed my forehead. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable.
“Please don’t tell me that you’re regretting what happened between us Lara.”
“Regret may not be the right word,” I uttered, sliding out of bed, putting on some knickers and the putting the robe back on.

“You can’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy it,” he said as we sat down to eat.
“It’s how much I enjoyed it that worries me,” I whined pitifully. “I have done precisely what I didn’t want to do. Now if I say that we’re only friends it looks as though I’ve used and discarded you. If we carry on with this how can I not sleep with you again Richey? I’m angry at myself but yes, I did enjoy it and being in your arms, making love with you was as good, no, BETTER than I remembered.”

Over the meals we laughed and chatted, the tension overcome, at least for the time being, but I was all too aware of another obstacle looming in the not too distant future.
“You’re tired, you need to sleep,” observed Richey turning off the T.V. “Come on gorgeous, get some shut eye.”
“Rich…”
“Don’t worry,” he smiled. “I’m going to join the guys for a drink and then I’ll come back here when they think I’ve gone to my room. In the morning I’ll get up a little early and go back to my room, that way there will be no annoying interrogations for both of us.”

“You could always go to your own room for the night,” I ventured. “You do recall how crabby I can be when I get woken up?”
“I would wake you up so nicely,” he murmured, kissing me passionately, making me giddy. All too quickly his lips left mine. “Don’t make me sleep alone tonight Lara. I promise I’ll be careful and won’t say a word.”
“I must be mad!” I laughed, pulling him back to me, embracing him warmly. “Having you stay the night is crazy and reckless, as if sleeping with you wasn’t reckless enough.”

“Reckless but nice I trust,” he smiled, then nuzzled down on my neck.
“Reckless and wonderful!” I giggled, his tongue tickling my neck. “As soon as I saw you I knew it was dangerous, I’ve never been very good at resisting you.”
“Good, I’m pleased about. I won’t say a word until you’re ready for me to.”

“You know that I’m falling in love with you all over again don’t you?”
“I’ve always been in love with you Lara. That has never stopped.”
“I’ve always loved you Richey,” I whimpered seductively. “We had our tough times I know, but I never stopped loving you or wanting you. You are under my skin.”

“Ah ha! We have got to have Frank Sinatra’s c.d. on at some point so I can sing to you!” he giggled then promptly proceeded to erm, sing. “I’ve got you, under my skin, I’ve got you, deep in the heart of me…”
“Please stop! A voice like yours is not made for serenading Rich.”
“I concede that point,” he smiled. “Now you get into bed and get some rest because you won’t get much later.”

“If I don’t give you my keycard that would scupper your plans.”
“And you would be depriving yourself of some wonderful sex darling.”
“How did you manage to say that without it sounding corny?”
“Just a skill I have,” he winked.

Over the next few days we met surreptitiously, our relationship a tense mass of sexual desire and physical release. Our conversations were of general topics and issues, neither of us ready to dispense with the joy of rediscovery, and return to mundane reality, where issues had to be faced and discussed.

The fact that our relationship had seemingly become all about sex normally would have appalled me, and I would have ended it but right now I didn’t want to be the one to fracture the idyllic time that we had to share.

“What’s happening with you and Richey?” James asked with a wry smile when we all checked out of the hotel en mass. “He’s very sparky these days.”
“We’re staying in touch,” I answered honestly, blushing as I did so.
“Friends or more than that?”
“I guess we’ll have to see,” I beamed, yet it was the truth. Once we were away from the hotel that’s when we would have to work at then relationship. It wouldn’t be as easy for us to be together and our phone conversations would have to be about more than purely sex. If we couldn’t find any other common ground the future would be bleak.

“So you’re not dismissing the possibility of rekindling your romance with him?”
“Stop it James!” I laughed, playfully tapping him on the arse. “What will be, will be.”
“Very cryptic!”

Our goodbyes were controlled, we’d actually said our real goodbye’s in private before Richey had returned to his room, so all that the guys saw was Richey getting a hug like they did. We all exchanged mobile numbers and email addresses, sincere in our desire to remain in contact. I had the strangest feeling when I drove from the hotel and caught a glimpse of Richey in the rear view mirror; I was going to miss him.

“Hey!”
“Hi ya. You got back safely then?”
“It would seem so James,” I giggled. “What can I do for you?”
“Nothing.”
“So why the phone call?”
“I think we have a lovesick Richey on our hands,” he said heavily. “He’s moping around with a face like thunder.”

“There isn’t a lot I can do about that. He’s got my number; you all do.”
“He’s too nervous to ring you, you know how he can be, he gets flustered.”
I was confused. “I thought you were all going home; how do you know he’s moping?”
“We decided to do a few hours in the rehearsal room,” James supplied helpfully. “He started off being all silly and giggly then gradually withdrew into himself. When I asked what was wrong he said that he was missing you. Please do us a favour and call him Lara.”
“Ok, I will.”

As soon as I finished my call with James, I called Richey. He soon perked up, especially when I arranged to travel and see him at the weekend.
“Stay longer than a few days,” he urged. “If you only stay the Saturday night you’ll no sooner be getting here than you’ll be going back.”
“I need to work Richey,” I explained. “Research and writing don’t miraculously get done for you.”
“I know I’m being selfish,” he conceded. “I just want to spend time with you.”
“Which will be great but we both have pressures on our time and commitments.”

“I remember when we were together the last time,” he mused.
“Years ago Rich. If this is going to work we both have to accept that we can’t always be together, in fact, we will spend the majority of our time apart.”
Was the novelty wearing off already as the veneer of the idyllic was replaced by reality? I hoped not yet it wouldn’t be a surprise.

I set off at 5am, reaching his apartment in Cardiff a little after 9am. Still in his pyjamas, my heart soared.
“I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could,” I laughed as he embraced me warmly, rubbing his nose against mine.
“I’ll tell you now that Nicky and James are coming later to see you, so I’ll put your stuff in the guest room ok? That way we can keep them guessing a little longer.”

“You don’t think that the way you have been acting has given them any clues?”
“I think I’ve got that under control,” he said proudly. “I merely told them that my emotions are as strong as ever for you but that it’s nice having as my friend again after so many years of being estranged.”
“Estranged? Strange choice of words but let’s not argue.” I gently stroked his face then leaned into him for a kiss.

“What time are they coming?” I asked lazily snuggling against him in his bed.
“About 2-ish or 3-ish they said, so we are safe for a while,” he chuckled.
I propped up on my left elbow. “I’m not ashamed of us Rich,” I said. “I just think it will be better if we have time on our own. Once they know about us, they’ll start worrying.”
“I know that, don’t fret.” His warm lips pressed against mine. “They’ll find out eventually.”
I smiled stupidly. “I’ll be happy when they do. I really want this to work Richey.”

“When I think of the way I was it astounds me that you can even stand to be near me, let alone have me touch and kiss you.” Sadness captured his eyes. “I was a horrible man.”
“No!” I protested. “You were ill; there’s a difference. You were never horrible though you did stretch my patience at times, I was on the verge of wringing your neck because you were so unreasonable.”
“I can’t erase what happened or make it up to you, all I can do is try to prove to you that I’m different now.”
“Not completely different I hope.”
“Only my masochistic tendencies.”

“Hang on a sec,” I called. “Let me leave a wet towel in the other room, I’ll muss the bed up a bit too; it’ll look as though I’ve taken a nap.”
“Devious!” His plump lips pressed onto mine.
“They’ll be here soon, we ought to maintain appearances.”
“Much as I love them,” Richey said tantalisingly. “I don’t want them to stay too long. I’m not sure that I can keep my hands off you.”
“You need to learn some restraint!”

I blow-dried my hair; dressed and made the room appear ‘used’. The phone rang:
“That’ll be them saying they’re on their way,” Richey insisted.
From the snippets of conversation I heard it evidently wasn’t at all.
“That’s all we need,” Richey sighed, handing me a coffee that he had made. “My mum and dad have invited themselves round tomorrow noon. James let slip that you’re staying here.”

I embraced him warmly. “They are bound to be curious Richey, don’t worry about it.”
“I feel that they’ll be scrutinising us.”
“Let them; it’s because they love you.”
“They are suspicious of you more like. They’ll be demanding to know what your intentions are.”
“Definitely not honourable with the amount of time we’ve spent in bed!”
“That will put the cat amongst the pigeons if they know that.”
“They’ll suspect; they’ll notice little nuance in our behaviour to that of friends.”
“Stop worrying until you know there’s something to worry about,” I said. “We need to survive Nicky and James first.”

“How’s it going then?” asked James with a cheeky smile.
“Slowly, which is how we want it,” I answered.
“Not staying in the same bed then?” probed Nicky.
“That is not a polite question!” I chuckled. “Change the subject!”
“You can’t blame us for being intrigued Lara. It would be great if you rekindled the spark that you had but I understand that you both want to be certain of things.”

“Nothing is sure or certain aside from the fact that we will all die.”
“Touché,” applauded Nicky. “Enough personal questions, time for fun.”
“What constitutes fun Nick?”
“Talking and being silly the way we all used to.”
It was starting out to be a very good afternoon.

“It would have been polite to ask about a meal,” said Richey petulantly. “There’s enough food for two and that is it. I have to get food for my parents tomorrow now too because they’ve invited themselves over.”
“Strange as this concept is to you Rich, there are things called takeaways, or restaurants that negate the necessity of cooking.”
“No need to be sarcastic Nicky!” Richey objected. He then stuck his tongue out and giggled.
“You boys never change,” I jokingly admonished. “I’ll go shopping and I’ll get stuff for tomorrow plus, I’ll cook.”
“Want some company?” James asked.
“Why not. You can use your muscles to carry it all.”
“Cheeky!”

It was almost midnight when a very drunk James and Nicky eventually picked up on the plethora of hints that Richey was dropping, finally leaving us alone. They didn’t leave without a parting shot however:

“Richey seems to be in a hurry to get rid of us James. I always thought that we were his friends and could spend as much time with him as we wanted, didn’t you?”
“Ah, I know. I was thinking the same thing,” winked James, deliberately grinning at me. “We though are bound to come second to the delightful Lara. From the glint in his eyes I hazard a guess that Richey has his own entertainment lined up!”

The pair of them giggled and snickered like schoolboys, revelling in the embarrassment that they were causing.

“You didn’t think that we were gullible enough to fall for the slightly rumpled bed; damp towel routine did you?” smiled James sexily. “I have used that so many times to stop my mum and dad knowing that a girl who has stayed over has slept with me. I got rumbled eventually of course.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said without a flicker of emotion. “You ought not to judge others by your standards or morals James.”

That did it; Richey’s composure left him and he naughtily smirked.
“Stop encouraging them!” I urged, the grin forming on my mouth letting them all know that I wasn’t really annoyed.
“Seriously, we do understand that you don’t want any pressure. This is a journey of rediscovery after all,” chimed a beaming Nicky. “We’re happy for you. Needless to say, we’ll keep it quiet.”

Sherry and Graham I was very worried about, in spite of my assurances to Richey. I repacked all of the stuff that I knew I wouldn’t need. That way I could be with Richey right up until the moment that I had to leave, safe in the knowledge that everything was ready.

“The roast potatoes aren’t browning,” Richey moaned agitatedly.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” I said, stroking his wonderful arse slowly. “I only put them in ten minutes ago. Take a deep breath or better still, get out of the kitchen and leave me to it.”
“Ok,” he smiled kissing my nose.
“They’ll be here soon. Be ready for them.”
“You do know that you can’t hide in there don’t you honey?”
“I’m nearly done for the time being. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you on your own. I know how nervous you are Richey; I want this to go well.”

I swear that they heard us because with that the doorbell rang; Richey turned ghostly pale and began stammering and being clumsy.
“Darling,” I said tenderly to him. “Together we will be fine. They’ll see how much we love one another, realise how committed we are and be ok about it. They’ll always worry about you Richey; you’re their son. The added complication in all of this is me. After trying once and failing you can’t blame them for being concerned. Now go and let then in, and open the wine.”
He took a deep breath and smiled. “Calm under pressure! I love you.”
With that, he confidently strode to let his parents in.

The longer the meal went on, the more nervous I grew. Neither Sherry or Graham spoke of the previous relationship that we had had; it worried me. Still, at least it ensured that there were no arguments at the table.

They complimented me on the meal saying it was one of the nicest they had eaten. When I brought out coffee and after dinner mints (a moment of inspiration from my shopping trip with James), they were yet more impressed.

“We shall expect to be entertained like this each time Richard,” Graham joked. “No more frozen meal eh son?”
“Can’t promise that dad,” Richey smiled, blushing a little. “My cooking skills are non-existent; you’ll have to plan your visit to coincide with Lara’s.”
“You are planning to stay in touch then I take it?” remarked Sherry.
“Yes.”

I smiled nervously at Richey, awaiting the next comment. It wasn’t a long wait.
“Is this a friendship or more?”
“Dad, I love Lara. I know that I was the one that made her leave but I never stopped loving her.”
“That wasn’t what I asked son,” Graham said gently. “How are things between you?”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Graham,” Sherry said impatiently. “Richey, are you and Lara sleeping together?”

I glanced over to Richey; he glanced at me, grabbed my hand and smiled.
“That would be a ‘yes’ then,” laughed Sherry, “wasn’t too hard was it?”
“Mum are you deliberately trying to embarrass me, because if you are, you’ve succeeded.”
“When James first mentioned that Lara was coming we were concerned, obviously. However, after due consideration we began talking about the circumstances of last time and things are very different now.”

“Your mum and I have acknowledged that you do love Lara. It was you, as you said, that instigated the falling out, with good reason,” said Graham earnestly, then he faced me. “We have always liked you Lara, you made our boy happy; very happy much of the time, it was his illness that changed things for you.”
I blushed. “I do love him.”
“That is very evident,” Sherry grinned. “You both deserve happiness – together.”
“Thanks mum!”

We had an hour alone before I had to leave.
Hey don’t be sad,” Richey said as we cuddled on the sofa. “Next time I’ll come to you; we won’t have so many interruptions.”
“You are kidding right?” I sat up. “My parents will go apoplectic. You made them happy when you chucked me. I was continually sobbing, broken hearted and they couldn’t even pretend to be sympathetic.”
“They never hid their dislike of me.”
I grimaced, recalling how downright rude they were with Richey. They fell for the ‘Richey Manic’ myth without trying to get to know him. I don’t think I had ever been more embarrassed or felt more let down by them. I’d never known them be so small-minded about anyone, or anything.

“We had a major falling out, our relationship is still rocky; I see them out of duty, not because I want to.”
Lara honey,” Richey sighed softly. “How would you feel if your daughter was involved with someone in a rock band with ever escalating bizarre behaviour?”
“Yes but…”
“Think about it honey and don’t be so hard on them. They had your best interests at heart.”
His face was full of compassion and understanding; damn but I loved him; Richey Edwards – the voice of reason and common sense; the old happy, sensible Richey that I first fell in love with. In my heart I knew that whatever Richey did, I would always love him, I couldn’t stop myself.

I, for one, was actually looking forward to a future; a future with the man I loved. Nothing would get in the way this time.

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