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| RELATIONSHIPS by Janey PART 2 Neither Jen nor Richey managed to get much sleep during the night instead they cuddled and they cried but sleep pretty much eluded them. Light started to stream in through the half-opened curtains and Jen turned to Richey and gave him a brief kiss on the tip if his nose as she stroked his cheek. “What’s that for?” asked Richey with nervousness in his eyes. “It’s the start of a new day; fresh start and all.” “Umm. You mean ‘let’s pretend everything is ok, because I really don’t want to argue,’” “No I just wanted to show that there are no bad feelings. Yesterday was yesterday. Obviously I want to know what happened but nothing’s changed between us Rich; I still love you.” “I wonder if you’ll be saying that later on Jen.” Richey then abruptly got out of the bed and padded to the bathroom. Jen heard the jets from the shower and wondered whether or not she should join him or was he best left alone while he was feeling so upset. It was certainly unusual for him to get straight in the shower without having copious amounts of coffee and nicotine first. She decided to go and join him in the bathroom. It was important to her that he knew she still wanted to be with him. As she sat down on the toilet seat, Jen watched as Richey soaped his thin torso and smiled as she recognised the fragrance of the gel he was using. Even though the frosted glass prevented her from a completely clear view she knew his body so well that she could tell exactly what scar was where and what shape it was. Richey was a mass of contradictions; he was anorexic yet he was strong and muscley. He complained of being weak because he succumbed to cutting himself yet he had strength to abstain from alcohol so that he could take the guys to gigs or to promo shoots. He said he was too selfish to ever be in love, yet apart from the one blip last night, he was tender, considerate and utterly giving. “You just going to sit there and watch me?” shouted Richey so he could be heard above the strong pulsating shower jets. “You don’t mind do you? I just want to be close to you Rich so you know that I mean it when I say that I still love you.” Richey opened the shower door, “pass me a towel love,” he said as he switched off the water. ‘Love’, he’d called her. Perhaps he had managed to calm down and put things into perspective whilst he had showered. “Sorry, I never thought,” he said lovingly as he roughly towelled his hair, “did you want to get in?” “Later honey,” Jen answered simply. “I just wanted to be near you.” “You’re ok. I haven’t reached the point were I’ll need to lacerate myself but rest assured that when I do, I’ll shout for you so you can come and gloat.” “Richey!” His words stung her. They were so unbelievably harsh and had come out of nowhere. Jen was stunned and couldn’t find a suitable repost. This was a Richey she didn’t know. Not the sweet, loving, caring, sensitive and brooding Richey that she loved. As soon as he had dried himself he went through to the bedroom, dressed and then went downstairs. Not once did he speak with her. Automatically he took two cups out ready to make drinks for them both and put a cigarette down in front of her when she sat down. Jen seldom smoked, only when she was really stressed and she didn’t know whether Richey was anticipating her tension or being sarcastic. Silently she took it and the light that he proffered and inhaled the sharp pungent smoke. Quickly she felt dizzy, her system not used to regular use of nicotine. “Come on then Richey,” she sighed as she exhaled some smoke. “What was it about Sean that got you so worked up yesterday?” “It wasn’t just yesterday Jen,” he kept his gaze downward. “It’s been building for a while now. You two having cosy tête-à-têtes, enjoying your own private little jokes. Sometimes I felt like I was in the way. Then I find that you knew about his problem and hadn’t told me. That stabbed at me Jen.” “I couldn’t tell you Rich. I’d promised him that I wouldn’t. Besides, it was for him to tell you not me. How would you like it if you told someone a problem in confidence and they told someone else because the other person was your friend so they assume it would be alright?” “You’re twisting things. Sean would have been fine with me knowing, I mean, we’re a couple we don’t have secrets.” “This one we did Rich,” Jen sighed. “He didn’t want anyone in the band to know, and I mean anyone. He nearly lunged at me when I suggested he tell James. He just wanted to keep it quiet Red.” “I feel like I’m being wrapped in cotton wool when I find that you’ve kept things from me. It’s like you don’t trust me to be able to handle things. I constantly feel that I’m on trial for one reason or another. Admit it Jen,” he growled, “You think I’m a fucking liability don’t you?” “No I bloody don’t! You’re upset and taking things to heart and you’re reading something into nothing.” Jen took another slow drag on her cigarette even though it burned her lungs and she wasn’t particularly enjoying the taste of it. It was a minor distraction and gave her time to think and to keep her temper in check. “Anyway, I had told you I couldn’t tell you. Damn that wasn’t very good English was it?” In spite of himself Richey giggled and rebuked her; “never was your strong point love.” “Oh Richey,” Jen sighed heavily as she finally stubbed the cigarette out. “If we’d have talked about this before then maybe it wouldn’t have got to this pitch.” “Hell it’s mostly my fault,” Richey stated. “I thought that maybe Sean was like an antidote to your being with me, what with all the crap I put you through, I thought that he was some ‘light relief’, kind of thing. I even thought that when you’d say you were going round to talk with him about his problems that that was like a code for the two of you for having sex.” “So why didn’t you say anything? Why let it build up so much?” “Because you kept telling me about how bloody proud you were that I’d let you into my life and loved you. I didn’t want to let you down so I tried to hide it.” “You’re still allowed to feel jealous you know. Hell I get jealous at times, like when those girls all hang around for you after a gig, or when they try to sneak into your hotel room. It’s not necessarily a weakness Richey, not unless it’s irrational and it eats away at you.” “But you’re not on record as stating that you don’t think you could ever love because of the jealousy thing are you?” “Hang on, are you doubting that you love me because of the way you sometimes feel?” Richey’s huge Bambi eyes were filled with sadness and guilt. The sparkle that she had grown accustomed to seeing had vanished and was replaced by something almost macabre in mood. He started scraping at the skin on his arm and Jen gently rested a hand over him and shook her head when she saw the blood start to break through the skin. “You don’t need to do that Red,” she said softly. “Just keep talking with me and you’ll start to feel better.” “I won’t! Don’t you get it? I don’t think I can stay with you Jen. I need to go and sort myself out.” “We stand more chance of it working out if you stay here Richey. How are we supposed to talk if we’re not together?” “I said, ‘I need to go and sort myself out.’ I said nothing about ‘us’”. Richey was so composed whereas Jen thought that her heart might leap out of her at any time. She could do nothing to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks, or the involuntary sobs. “So this is it? As simple as that, it’s over?” “You’ll thank me for it later,” he said as he stood up. “I’ll go and pack. I’ll come back for what I can’t carry now when I’ve got somewhere sorted, though I’ll no doubt go back home.” For the rest of the day Jen was in a daze. She went to see Sean and James and checked on Sean’s wounds and said nothing to either of them about what had happened with her and Richey, both assuming that she was subdued from lack of sleep after the stresses of the night had caught up with her. Again she tried to persuade Sean to report Hailey to the police and again Sean refused; worried that it would make things worse. Several hours later when Sean has gone back to bed for some rest, she collected her things and rooted in her bag for her car keys. Such a simple and unemotional task and yet when she couldn’t find them her anger, hurt and confusion all boiled over and the tears she had fought so valiantly to keep in check, gushed. James comforted her and she felt warm and safe as he cradled her to his chest, all the while gently rubbing her back soothingly and whispering gentle words of concern. Stood together in the middle of the lounge as James consoled her, Jen knew she didn’t want to be alone. Nor did she want to go back home. The home that Richey was now no longer a part of was something she did not want to contemplate or confront. She looked at him and noticed how dark, almost black James’ eyes were: incredibly dark and brooding, and a strange combination of comfortable intensity and passionate anger. The previous 24hours had been madness for them both but that could not be held utterly responsible for their actions. James wiped away some of her tear stains with a gentle sweep of his thumb and he teased her hair with his fingers. His touch was warm and comforting, and it inflamed her. Jen inhaled with a sigh and she and James tried hard to make sense of the strange emotions running through them. Slowly they moved nearer and nearer until their lips touched and then their reserve was abandoned and they clung together, their hands exploring, as they kissed wantonly. “James, where are you hiding?” sang Nicky brightly on the answer phone. “ Well I guess that you’re taking care of Sean, no problem, I just wanted to see how you both were and to let you know that I love you and miss you. Oh and something’s happened, but I’ll tell you about that later. Call me ok, I love you.” “Damn,” cursed Jen as she gathered her clothes from the floor and hurriedly got dressed. “What the hell have I done?” “Don’t you mean ‘we’?” said James as he too quickly put his clothes on. “And we didn’t actually do anything apart from get naked and have a damned good snog and a grope.” “James you don’t seem bothered that your partner, the man you say you love has just called as we were getting steamy together. Hell fire you’ve only been ‘out’ a short while and here I am nearly jumping on you and you don’t fight it.” “Ok, let’s get this straight shall we?” he gazed at her with a soft smile that made her relax a little. “Firstly; you did not jump on me. Secondly; I do love Nicky and thirdly: I still fancy women too you know.” “That wasn’t what I meant and you know it.” “I know. When Red lost it yesterday over Sean he surprised me.” Jen stared at him wondering what he meant. “Because I’d always thought it would be us that made him jealous. How many times have I picked you up and swung you round in front of him? Or pretended to be shagging you from behind when you’ve been leaning over something. Not to mention all the groping I do when I’m around you. I certainly never thought that poor Sean would get it in the neck.” “We’ve still gone too far.” “Agreed. But only because of us all being friends. Nicky knows I fancy you and he always has, including the fumbles and the kisses we shared before you and Richey got together. I made no secret of the fact that I wanted to sleep with you,” said James as he sat down. “So, I apologise for making a move on you, but I won’t say sorry for fancying you. Just as well Red isn’t here or it would really have screwed him up.” “You don’t have to worry about that James,” Jen said as she started to cry again. “Richey left me this morning. It’s all a bit of a mess.” “I wonder if that was the ‘something’ that Nick mentioned?” mused James as he comforted Jen and once more mopped away her tears. “He’ll be back sweetheart. He loves you.” “He’s nor sure of that anymore. I just didn’t see this coming. I knew about his insecurities but I thought if I was honest with him we’d be ok. Like with Sean, I told Rich several times that I couldn’t tell him.” “Well I didn’t even know what was happening so he should try being in my shoes,” snapped James. “I can see why Sean didn’t want us to know but I wish he’d told me non-the less.” “That’s only a part of it,” Jen complained as she sat down on James’ knee on one of the dining chairs and put her arms around his neck. “I have my suspicions that I don’t know the full extent of what’s going on for him. Hell, I’m not even sure if Red can make sense of it.” Richey had turned up at Nicky’s after his mother had told him in no uncertain terms that she thought he was being immature and unreasonable. Unfortunately for Richey, Nick had also said pretty much the same to him and so he’d left there feeling miserable. Back in his old bedroom at his parents home, Richey tried to get his head around what had happened and why he had taken it to heart the way he had. The only thing he could find was that in many ways Sean reminded him of himself and so perhaps in his twisted and illogical mind, he’d assumed that Jen would be more likely to have an affair with Sean rather than James. Even though James and Jen could flirt for Britain. He even knew that James fancied her; hell James made no secret of the fact, yet somehow he could never envisage the pair of them in bed. No, Jen liked people she could nurture and care for, and that wasn’t James. He was also way too dominant and argumentative; Jen wanted a quiet life. He giggled to himself at the thought; she certainly hadn’t got that with him had she? Trips to the chemists to stock up on bandages, tape, antiseptic and various other materials she did get though; along with the sleepless nights as she worried that he may choke on his own vomit or go into shock from the severity of his injuries. How many times had she told Sherry and Graham that ‘everything is fine’ and that it ‘looks worse than it is’? Too many for him to count, and she had done it because he had asked her to. Despite the fact she would argue with him that his parents had a right to know the truth, she would still comply with his wishes, because she loved him and cared deeply for him. Deceitful to the others who loved him as it was, she helped him. He sat on the edge of the small, cramped single bed and hugged his toy Snoopy tightly to him. He could still smell her on the toy; all fresh, vibrant and sexy with a huge beaming smile that gave him goose bumps and made his stomach tie in knots. He knew then, that he couldn’t walk away from her and their life together. They belonged together; it was as simple as that. Jen was just getting dried after her bath when she heard the doorbell ring. At first she was going to ignore it but she thought better of it; it could be Nick or James with news. She grabbed her towelling robe and ran down the stairs. As she unlocked the door and took the chain off, she was panting for breath. As she saw Richey in front of her looking forlorn and weary her heart skipped a beat. He seemed so sad, yet he was still stunningly handsome and her love for him came rushing to the surface .It was all she could do to stop herself from pulling him in, pinning him against the wall and ravishing him, and having sex with him right there and then. “I should probably have called, sorry” sighed Rich as his gaze dropped down to between her breasts were some drops of water were trickling as they fell from her wet hair. “No, it’s fine Red. Come on in.” Richey stepped in and waited for Jen to close the door after him and when it was locked he reached out and pulled at the belt and tugged it open. Jen gazed at him in wonder. Logic told her she should shout at him, tell him to stop and fight his hands away but she didn’t want to be logical. She wanted to love him and to feel him loving her. His gaze lowered and she knew he was staring at her newly shaved sex. Jen hissed as he lightly ran his fingers over it and fondled her. “I love it when you’ve shaved and you’re all smooth and silky,” he drawled quietly into her ear. “Ooh, you’re so wet.” “And you are so very, very hard.” They locked their gaze together as Jen fondled his growing erection and Richey swirled his fingertip round her clit, giving her subtle fluttering sensations deep inside. “I do love you Jen, even though I’ve behaved like a jealous teenager.” His voice was soft and his mouth curled into a grin at the corners as Jen’s legs began to quiver from the attention he was showing her hard, swollen bud with his finger. “Does that feel good?” “Yes,” she gasped. Her breathing was shallow and sweat was glistening on her forehead. “It feels really good. As ever.” “I want you to cum right here, all over my fingers and my hand. I want to see your juices trickling down your beautiful thighs, and then I want to dry them for you.” Jen could no longer hold back. She threw her arms around his neck and prodded at his mouth with her tongue. He let her tongues enter as he moaned aloud and roughly tugged her to him by her wet hair. Neither could control their built up passion and desire any longer. Richey groaned when her fingers began to unzip him and then play with hardness roughly. “Damn you, you bastard,” Jen cried. “I should be so angry with you. Instead all I want is to have you fuck me really, really hard.” Richey nibbled Jen’s ears making her giggle as she poured them both another vodka and orange. His hands roaming under robe and kneading her breasts enthusiastically. “I don’t deserve you Jen,” he drawled. “I know!” she smiled. “Unfortunately I just can’t help myself when you’re around. One look and I want to rip your clothes off and shag you till you can’t walk.” She turned round to face him and he forced the robe off her shoulders and watched as it landed on the floor, grinning at her like a Cheshire cat. “I know I was unreasonable. I’m not even sure how it all got so out of proportion.” “Because you thought you were being left out. You’d go out with Nick and James but feel on the outside because they’d be so loved up together. When we all got together Sean and I would talk about Hailey so again you felt left out. I’m as much to blame as you are Red, no actually more so. I buried my head in the sand and ignored what you were going through,” Jen said morosely. “That’s still no excuse for me losing it the way I did and I shouldn’t have packed and walked out. That was petulant and childish,” he said as he raised his eyebrows. Richey ran his fingers between her breasts and down to her groin, then back up again, smiling broadly at the way her body responded. “How would it be if I came back home hon?” Jen quickly drew her robe back together and tied it, suddenly appearing all flustered and nervous. “Jenny what is?” asked Richey confused by the sudden change. “You may not want to come back Red. I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it.” She drank one of the drinks she’d made in one go, unable to look at Richey. Instead she gazed down the empty glass. Rich tried to embrace her but she knocked his hands away and moved near to the lounge window, and stared at the dark night sky. “Come on honey,” Richey sighed. “I’m sure it’s not that bad really.” “It is Rich. I feel ashamed of myself.” Her voice was filled with worry and dread. She had to tell him. There could be no secrets between them. She took a deep breath and continued. “I stopped in to see how Sean was earlier. James was there, well of course you know that already…” “And you and James ended up naked on the carpet having a kiss and a grope,” he finished as though he was reading a shopping list. Jen stared at him, curious to know how he knew and more importantly, why he wasn’t angrier. “James told me. I went there to apologise to Sean first. James was really cut up about it and said that Nicky was none too impressed but had finally calmed down about it.” “He told Nicky?” “He didn’t intend to but then he called Nicky and before he knew it the realisation of what he’d done hit him and he burst into tears. Of course Nick wanted to know why,” Richey’s strong arms were placed around her waist, pulling her into his warmth. “James said that you were both vulnerable and caught up in the heat of the moment and I believed him. The fact you wanted to tell me says he was right. You could have fucked him but you didn’t. You could have never have tried to tell me, but you did.” “And knowing what happened you still ravished and made love to me on the downstairs hall carpet!” Jen giggled. “Because I love you Jen. I love you and I’ll never stop loving you.” His adorable warm, plump lips captured hers in a kiss that was so sweet and tender she felt she would faint He broke the kiss to whisper hungrily to her; “and I know you love me.” “Yes I do,” she smiled. “I don’t know about you but I feel ready for bed. Not that I’m tired at all.” “Funny you should say that because I was thinking exactly the same thing!” “Great minds think alike huh?” teased Jen. “Stop talking and get up those stairs,” Richey laughed as he playfully smacked her arse. “Make me,” she taunted. So he did! THE END. Janey's stories |