janey_pain-and-friendship

nnn

PAIN AND FRIENDSHIP by Janey

PART 1

Nicky was absolutely furious with James and whilst he was the first to admit that he wasn’t the greatest bass guitarist in existence, that had not justified James’ spiteful attack on him. Especially as it followed Sean and Martin telling Nicky that they were really impressed with the new stuff that he was doing. He had spent the last seven months working really hard to improve his craft and it showed.
James though was in a bad mood. Well actually ‘bad mood’ came nowhere near close enough to describing how he was behaving and acting. James had gone into the studio that morning still drunk from the night before and with a head from hell after not getting any sleep whatsoever.
He couldn’t play his guitar because he could hardly keep his eyes open, and when he did manage he had no co-ordination and the noise ripped right through him, and to make things worse he couldn’t sing a note due to all the shouting and screaming he’d done prior to the all consuming need to drown his sorrows. There began the vicious circle. The worse he felt, the more he drank, the more he smoked and so the worse he felt. James was a heavy smoker even when he wasn’t pissed or pissed off. Put pissed and pissed off into the mix together and it was bound to end in tears.

“James don’t take it out on us,” pleaded Nicky. “We haven’t actually done anything wrong for once.”
“Oh but you have, Nicky boy. All of you have. That’s part of the problem!” As hoarse and quiet as he was, James’ ‘pissed off’ voice still managed to make grown men quiver.
“Actually I beg to differ,” interjected Andrea as she breezed in with a tray full of cold soft drinks. “As I recall we all sat down with you about four months ago and expressed our concerns that she was a money grabbing bitch. You however were adamant that I was jealous because it wasn’t me you were marrying, whilst Sean and Nicky just didn’t ‘want’ to like her.”
“So this is the ‘I told you so’ fucking speech is it?” spluttered James in some discomfort and pain.
“No! I’m trying to say, and making a terrible balls up of it, that your pride got in the way of you contacting any of us last when this blew up, precisely because you knew how we all felt about M…” Andrea only managed to get the initial out and James made her stop by putting his hands over his ears. “… About her.”
Sean walked over to his cousin and put his arms around him in a consoling gesture and softly said, “ we don’t wanna see you hurting James. All we want is for you to be happy.”
James tried to pick up his pack of cigarettes but Andrea got to them first, “I think you’ve had quite enough of these. If you carry on you’ll never get your voice back.”
James tried to protest but it was no use. Andrea had put the pack in her pocket and walked out of the room, leaving James rooted to the spot and literally speechless.
“She’s the only person I know who isn’t ever afraid of you,” commented Martin wryly. “No matter what you say or do Andrea always stands up to you and gives you back as good as she gets. I like that. Now HER you should have got involved with.”
Sean and Nicky just stared gormlessy at James not wishing to get involved in the discussion, as Martin then proceeded to walk after Andrea. They just didn’t want to get entangled in a debate they knew no one could win.

After an awkward silence Andrea walked back with her bag, car keys and James’ jacket which she gave to him. “Put it on ‘cos I’m taking you home and don’t even THINK of arguing with me.”
“You can’t make me do anything,” he said gruffly, obviously in pain from his throat.
“I told you not to argue with me. Now you can either wear the jacket or carry it, I really don’t care, but I am taking you home.” She glared at him with such venom that he knew not to push his luck anymore instead he started walking to the door.
James sulked all the way to the car and kept giving her evil glances that did nothing to intimidate her. Instead she merely smiled back at him and winked at him to tease him.
“You’re a shit, you know,” moaned James as he fastened up the seat belt.
“Yeah!” laughed Andrea. “I’m a shit that cares about you and worries about you.”
“You’re an interfering bitch is what you are.”
“Boy we are in a bad mood aren’t we?” Andrea said with more than a hint of patronisation. “I think when I get you home I’ll dunk you in a cold bath filled with ice cubes to fucking cool down your temper.”
“I’ve got a right to have a temper. My fucking future wife has dumped me.”
“Dumped you and taken you to the cleaners, to be more accurate.”
“Bitch!” spat James.
“Yeah, ain’t she just,” said Andrea as she desperately tried not to let James see she was deliberately goading him.
“I meant you!”
“I know you did, honey.”
“Don’t honey me. Hell you’re looking for an argument.”
“Give that man a coconut!”
“I beg your pardon?” asked James with disbelief.
“I am going to be your whipping post for the afternoon. You can shout, scream, rant and rave at me. You were out of order with Nicky and you know it! Now, I know you’re in pain so I’m letting you use me to let rip at because I can take and I’ll argue back if I think you’ve over stepped the mark, ok?” She smiled as his face continued to flash that vacant expression. “Oh, and try not to waste your voice just yet. I think you’ll need it later. Just sit there and think of all the insults that you can and whatever else you want to moan about. I’d also like to think though that you’d talk with me James and tell me what you’re thinking and feeling. Blowing your gasket at all and sundry doesn’t help and it doesn’t make you feel any better either.”

Eventually James succumbed to the tiredness that was washing over him, and fell asleep. Andrea had to nudge him gently as she parked the car in the garage of her home.
“This isn’t my home,” moaned James through part closed eyes.
“Less chance of the press or of her contacting here. I mean she can still get you on your mobile if she wants to.”
“I left it at home this morning on purpose. I thought I may just say something to her that I may later regret if I took it with me.”
“Sounds like a good idea. You can’t have been as pissed as we all thought that you were.”
James giggled inspite of himself. “Damn but I feel rough.”
“Let’s get you in. You can go catch up on some sleep in the spare room. I’ll cook you something nice too.”
“Eurgh! Not food. Just the thought is making my stomach turn.”
“Well, you need to have something. You’ll feel even worse if you don’t.”
“I think my legs have ceased up. I have no energy whatever,” muttered James.
Andrea got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side, opened the door and encouraged James out. She locked the car and then walked James to the door.
Eventually she’d managed to help him up the stairs and had soothed him, as he’d been violently sick, comforting him with a cool washcloth over his forehead. Then she had helped him into bed, where he tossed and turned for a while before falling asleep once more.

Andrea went to wake him up after a couple of hours and found him sweating heavily. “James. Time to wake up.”
He grunted in response and turn over.
“James,” she said again with a little more force as she also shook him a little. “Come on honey. You won’t sleep tonight.”
James reached out a hand and pulled the quilt over his eyes as he grunted and snorted.
“James! Don’t make me have to pull the covers off and throw water over you.”
“Go away.”
“When you’re up and about I’ll leave you alone.”
“Just go. I’m knackered and feel like death.”
“I’m sure you do,” she whispered sympathetically. “But you need to get up and have something to eat and drink.”
“I need a cigarette.”
“May I remind you that I have them downstairs with me?”
“Oh fuck!”

“Come on James, I’ll make you a nice cuppa.”
“All I want is a cig and maybe some whiskey; ‘the hair of the dog’ and all that.”
“Well you are definitely not having alcohol.”
“Painkillers then. My head is banging.”
“Tablets and alcohol don’t mix. Come on sweetheart, come downstairs.”
“Did I ever tell you what a pain in the arse you are?” he smiled.
“All the time,” she giggled in reply. “But you wouldn’t have me any other way.”
“Wouldn’t I?” He grimaced at her and then threw the quilt back and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his head. “I’m up. You can leave me alone now. Give me a few minutes to get a wash huh?”
“Ok. You’ll find a new toothbrush in the cabinet in the bathroom,” she said as she left the room and went back to the kitchen.
“Thanks,” muttered James, unsure if she heard him.

Once downstairs, James had surprised himself by enjoying the homemade soup and bread rolls that Andrea had made. So much so that he had a second bowl.
“Had enough?” asked Andrea. “There’s still some left.”
“Maybe later, but right now I’m full. Thanks Andrea. I’d forgotten how good a cook you are.”
She refused to let him help her wash up and banished him to the lounge, minus his cigarettes. When she joined him he was sat brooding and looking thoughtful. Andrea sat next to him and rubbed his knee and smiled at him in a friendly gesture.
“I am upset for you, you know James. I know I didn’t like her but I do want you to be happy,” she said softly with sincerity. “We all want you to be happy.”
“I know.” He stared down for an age, sighing heavily to himself. “I thought that something wasn’t right but couldn’t put my finger on what. The last time I confronted her about it she accused me of being jealous and we split for a while, as you remember I’m sure.”
“It’s been a temperamental relationship all round, I mean it’s been off then on, then off and then on again. Maybe you’ll work it out again this time.”
“No way. I don’t trust her anymore.” With that, he started to cry, and not just gently, but huge sobs that shook his torso. “I feel so fucking stupid.”
“James you fell in love. You’ve done nothing wrong.” Andrea hugged him to her as she tried to soothe him.

After regaining his composure James poured his heart out to her; telling her much of what actually went wrong and Andrea’s heart went out to him.
James had given her his credit card to get things for the wedding. When the bill had arrived he’d been furious. Room service for two had been charged to him as well as clothes from a shop he never used and various other items that didn’t make sense. He had gone round to see her to discuss what she had bought, and after not getting an answer, had used his own key. Upstairs he found her in bed with another man and another woman, and all of them were being ‘active.’ He had then argued with her and the man with her before storming off to the pub. Once there, he quickly drank several whiskeys followed by a few pints. When a poor fan approached James and asked for an autograph, James had lost his temper again, stunning everyone.
James managed to get himself a taxi and get home where he proceeded to ring his bandmates up and shout at them down the phone, as well as continuing to drink copious amounts of Jameson’s whiskey and coke. Each drink had less and less coke in it.
“Nothing to say?” he asked Andrea.
“What is there to say? Anything I come out with will sound patronising or like a platitude.”
“Look. I’m tired. I’m going back to bed if that’s ok, I mean I can stay over?”
“No problem. If you leave your clothes outside your room I can wash, dry and iron them for you, for the morning if you’d like.”
“Sure you don’t mind? I’d appreciate that. They stink of booze and fags.”
Andrea smiled, “ go on. Off you go and catch your beauty sleep.”
He gave her a brief peck on the cheek, “thanks Andrea. I mean it.”
“That’s what friends are for!” and she patted his bottom and pointed to the stairs as she giggled.

James had gone into the studio the next day apologising profusely. He had made a special point of taking Nicky to one side to give him a personal explanation and say sorry.
Martin had issued a press release only after ‘THAT WITCH’, as James now referred to her, had sold her story to the press. The only truth of which, was how they had met and how he had given her carte blanche as far as the wedding arrangements went.
Thankfully the press soon tired of her as the wholes in her account became more evident and her claims became more outlandish.

A year and a half down the line and the guys were enjoying some freetime, prior to rehearsing for several festivals they were going to be appearing at. James was with a girl called Anna and all the guys loved her too, though James was adamant he would take things slower this time. Anna and Andrea often went out shopping or to the pictures together and James was happy that they were getting along so well. Andrea had been incredibly strong and supportive when he’d needed her, and he now realised she was worth her weight in gold to him. He loved the way she stood up to him and argued back at him, whereas previously it had irritated him like hell.
James scanned the tv pages and saw that a programme Andrea was always talking about was due to start, so, he switched on the set and get ready to watch, expecting to be bored rigid by it. Instead, within a few minutes he was laughing like mad, so much so that he had tears running over his cheeks.
After the programme, he picked up the phone and called Andrea to jokingly tell her off.
“Glad you liked it!” she enthused. “Are you watching the Marilyn Monroe movie that’s on in 30 minutes?”
“Yeah, I will be,” he said. “Anna’s having a night out so I’m on my own.”
“Well I’m all ready,” she said. “The wines in the fridge, I’ve got the popcorn, the pizza and I’m in my jim-jams. Oh I love her movies.”
“You sound like you’re ready for a girlie party!” laughed James.
“I am. I am. There’s plenty of food if ya wanna come round and share. I’ll let you be an honorary girl for the night”
“I don’t wanna intrude.”
“Stop being so miserable and get your backside down here now! Why not bring some stuff and stop over? I can drive you back in the morning.”
“You sure you don’t mind?”
“Just get a cab and get here!”

James had arrived with another couple of bottles of wine, as well as a small overnight bag. He’d left messages on Anna’s mobile and home phone that he was staying at Andrea’s as they were watching a film together.

Andrea and James laughed madly together as Marilyn strutted her stuff on the screen.
“She is so underrated don’t you think?” mused Andrea. “Her comic timing was magnificent.”
“Yeah, She was incredibly gifted,” James agreed. “Anna doesn’t like her stuff. Thinks it’s ‘childish’ and that all Marilyn did was pout and stick her arse and tits at the camera.”
“No way!”
James’ mobile started to ring. “It’s Anna,” said James, before saying into the phone, “Hi sweetheart. Having a good night?”
James then seemed to tense up and he looked uncomfortable as he got up and walked through to the kitchen, where he wouldn’t be heard so easily. Andrea could see him pacing up and down, as he grew more and more pensive. She could also hear James’ voice getting louder but couldn’t make out what he was saying. When he slumped back on the sofa, he had a face like thunder.
“What’s wrong James?”
“She’s fucking dumped me!”
“Oh no. I don’t believe this.”
“Neither do I,” muttered James as he rubbed his fingers over his eyes and forehead. “She’s left me so that I can be with you.”
“What?” Andrea spluttered some of the wine she was drinking in shock, as she stared at James, hoping for some sign that she had misheard him.
“Yep! She reckons that you and me are meant to be an item and that we secretly adore each other. Only we have our heads in the sand and won’t admit to anything more than a friendship, because that would prove too many people right.”
“That is nuts. I’ve never had an improper thought about you.”
“You haven’t?” James appeared a little surprised. “So when you stayed at mine last week and you shouted, ‘JD fuck me harder,’ that wasn’t about me then?”
“I must’ve been dreaming,” Andrea blushed. “Any how, if I did why didn’t you mention it before now?”
“I didn’t want to embarrass you, but maybe now we need to be honest with each other. At first when Anna mentioned it I laughed, then I got angry. But actually, she’s right” James shyly smiled as he tried to gauge the reaction on Andrea’s face. “I suppose I didn’t want to admit it because of how good we are as friends. Some of the thoughts I have about you though are not how I should think of a friend.”
“James please, lets not go there ok? We would be the biggest fucking mistake. We’d always argue and it would be a nightmare. We’re friends and nothing more.”
“Andrea, come on.”
“No James I mean it. If you can’t handle us just being friends then go, because that’s all you’re going to get.” She tried to get up but James caught her wrist to prevent her. “Let me go.”
“What are you so afraid of Andrea? In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never really had a boyfriend have you? We’ve been as close as two people can be without being intimate. We get along. I want to be with you, and I think you feel the same so what are you hiding from?”
Andrea tried to struggle free but she couldn’t. James was holding her too firmly, even though he wasn’t hurting her. Her eyes searched his, pleading with him to let her free, whilst his were pleading with her to open up to him. Then she became aware of something running down her cheek and then could taste the slight saltiness. She was crying.
“I, I just…” and she crumpled into James’ strong arms, and was aware of his chest rising and falling beneath her face. She felt protected and cosseted. When he was with her like this it was almost as if she was invincible.
“Andrea honey, what’s wrong?” James cuddled her tenderly as she clutched onto him.
“Just hold me James, please.”
“Of course I will. Do you have any idea how good you feel in my arms? I really don’t want to let you go.”
“Well you’ll have to. Friends and nothing more James. You’ll understand when I tell you why.”

Part 2

Janey's stories