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ONLY by Janey PART 2 Sean and Sophie argued furiously when she got back home. She didn’t sugar-coat her news; he deserved honesty not being patronised. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?” he hurled at her caustically. “I risked it all for you.” “Don’t put it all at my fucking door Sean,” she spat. “I divorced as well so you’re not the only one who lost a lot but that’s not a reason for us to stay like this when it clearly isn’t working.” “Only in your eyes!” “You’ve settled for cosy domesticity and I don’t want that. I want some of the passion and excitement that we had but you call that ‘playing’ and instead want to make love to me for hours on end; slowly and deliberately.” Sean threw his hands in the air in frustration. “To give you as much pleasure as I can!” “That’s fine occasionally but I also want wild abandoned quickies. I want to get home sometimes and get surprised by you pushing me against the wall and shagging me by ripping my knickers; I want you to take the book I’m reading from my hand and ravish me; to get carried away when I’m washing the pots and fuck me in the kitchen,” she sighed, running her fingers frantically through her hair. “It’s all too safe now Sean, and I’ve asked for you to try before but you didn’t or couldn’t.” “And I suppose that James was always passionate and often spontaneous was he?” “Yes.” Sean’s male pride wouldn’t allow him to cry whilst she was with him so he swiftly packed a bag and left the home they had shared for such a brief time, stating that he would stay the night at a hotel and then sort some accommodation out the following morning. Sophie didn’t cry, she couldn’t, and instead she called Richey and told him what she had done. “How are you feeling?” he asked with concern. “I can come and spend some time with you if you don’t want to be alone.” “I’m strangely relieved. I have to tell James though, the only question is do I do it now or wait ‘til tomorrow?” “Can’t help you with that one honey,” he sighed with regret. “Sean won’t tell him, he’ll be too humiliated. I’m just scared of the reaction that I’ll get.” “He’ll be surprised; he’ll probably think about it and then you’ll get a true reaction from him.” “That will be worse than having him screaming at me straight away. I hate it when he makes me sweat.” “If you want him back…” “I know,” she giggled nervously. “I have to work hard and be prepared to be humiliated.” She tried reading a book, watching television and also a dvd but couldn’t concentrate; her mind running over the events of the day and trying to predict what may happen next, so that she would be prepared. There were so many variables and she really didn’t know which way things would go. Fed up of staring into space she decided to go to bed at 11.35pm, just when she was about to get undressed the door bell rang and someone started knocking on it very loudly. ‘What the fuck…’ she mused opening her bedroom window to see who was there. ‘Oh shit!’ Sophie grimaced, inhaled sharply and gritted her teeth, then made her way back down the stairs and after some time, found the courage to open the door. James glared at her for a few moments and then pushed her aside and strode menacingly into the house, going to the lounge and helping himself to a large neat whiskey. “Want coke with that?” “No!” he yelled, still glaring at her. “Is it true? Rhian called me saying that Sean wants her back. Have you really split?” “Yes. Now drink that and go.” “Why Sophie? Why did you throw away our marriage? I know that I hurt you with Rhian but we could have made it work, I love you.” “Oh James,” she sighed, turning away from him as her shame got the better of her. “You need to know the truth.” “Meaning?” Sophie faced him now, wanting to look him straight in the eye when she told him. “We lied. Sean and me well…we’d been seeing each other, having sex.” “You and Sean?” he blustered. “For how long?” “It doesn’t matter. When we realised that you and Rhian were having an affair we thought it gave us the reason to be together that we’d been looking for. For months we didn’t do anything, giving you the impression that we got close afterwards, and that was hard, very hard.” “You did that to make us feel guilty? Trust me Sophie, the day you found out about it my interest in Rhian waned. It was sex and nothing more.” “So you never told her that you loved her?” James lowered his head and played agitatedly with his fingers. “I did, but I never said I was in love with her and I only ever said it to keep her sweet.” “Charming! What have you told me to keep me sweet over the years then?” Sophie threw at him. “Telling me how much you loved what I was doing and how sexy I was, was that all a sweetener James?” “NO! I meant each and every word Sophie. Making love to you was the best thing in the world. You did things to me that were exquisite.” “So why?” she yelled furiously. “Because…” “James, tell me and I want the truth, not that crap you told me before.” He took a deep breath and paced the floor. “She would try weird stuff, that was all.” “Weird how?” “Serious bondage, odd toys, does it matter? It was sex and that’s it!” “You never asked me; we never tried!” Sophie cried in exasperation. “How do you know I wouldn’t have tried it?” James blushed and seemed even more pensive. “I didn’t want to humiliate you. You’re my wife, WERE my wife and it didn’t seem appropriate.” Sophie spluttered in shock. “Because I was your wife? We always had an experimental sex life James, always!” She rubbed her hands over her face and heaved in dismay. “It didn’t seem right asking you wear PVC or rubber with masks and whips and stuff. As my wife I couldn’t ask you to do it and I know how stupid that sounds but I can’t help it. Call me old fashioned but it wasn’t right.” James blushed but Sophie started giggling and he flashed her a glance of sheer disgust, thinking that she was mocking him. “Oh James, if only you had come and talked with me. I can’t say I would have liked it but I would have tried it out just as I tried everything else out that you took an interest in and vice versa,” she smiled, walked over to him and gently took his right hand in hers. “Fancy another drink?” James shot her a gaze of shock. “Erm yeah, that would be lovely.” Sophie was silent as she poured the wine and handed it to him with a smile, and then took a sip from hers and invited him through to sit in the lounge and talk. Incredibly the tension soon lifted and they began to laugh again, Sophie aware that she was still crazy for James and him becoming increasing aware of that. Several hours later they were still chatting. “I should go,” smiled James. “I must have helped you get through a couple of bottles of wine and it’s nearly bloody dawn!” “James,” Sophie grinned as they stood by the front door. “I’m glad that we’re talking again.” “Yes, so am I.” They stared at one another, the air thick with tension as they rocked nervously from foot to foot. “Are you sure you’re ok to go home? You don’t want to call a taxi?” “I’ll walk, it’ll help clear my head.” James gazed at her, trying to understand what she was thinking. “I will leave you to get some sleep. Night Sophie.” “Night James,” she said opening the door for him. She sighed when his lips kissed hers and automatically her arms went around his neck and hungrily she returned his kisses with enthusiasm. “Stay with me James,” she panted heavily. “Please don’t tease me,” he urged. “I want you too much Sophie.” The door was slammed shut. “I’m not teasing James.” “I can’t stop thinking of you,” he muttered between kisses. “I want you so much darling.” James slammed her against the wall and began hurriedly taking her clothes off in between kissing and nuzzling at her naked skin, making her moan, groan and thrust into him with a whimper that indicated pure pleasure and want. “James don’t stop, please. I need you!” “Missed me?” he growled. “More than you know and than I imagined!” her voice grew higher with each word she spoke. In a split second her trousers and knickers were on the floor and his deft fingers were stimulating her beyond her wildest passions at the same time as his tongue, mouth and teeth drove her wild with their games and machinations. “Bed,” she urged. “No,” he said determinedly. “Here. Right here and now. Cum for me Sophie and then I’ll take you to bed and fuck you till you beg me to stop!” “James!” “Here Sophie. Show me that you want me!” Determinedly yet gently his fingers caressed and teased her bud making her buck into his strokes and touches, her breathing growing more and more rapid yet shallow as her desire ran amok. Then he was inside of her. She hadn’t heard his trousers become undone and shivered as he nailed her; the touch and feel of him familiar yet exciting and intoxicating for her. “You bastard!” she moaned as they recovered from their orgasms. “Shush,” he whispered cradling her head against him as he fought to regulate his breathing. “I’m going to take you to bed and make love to you like you’ve never known.” “I want you James,” she urged. “You’ll do more than that baby,” he winked as he glanced at her, his tongue flicking against her mouth. “I’m going to make you cum like you’ve never cum before.” “And stay with me?” she pleaded breathlessly. “Don’t play James.” “I’m never going to leave again darling,” he said before kissing her passionately, his tongue stroking hers into a fire. “I know what I need and who I want and it’s you and what you do for me.” “You know that we need to tell Sean…” “Do we? I know what you mean but one night of great sex doesn’t mean that we’re going to work out James.” “I know but it’s more than sex isn’t it? You love me and want me; fuck, how bigheaded does that sound! We belong baby, and you know we do!” “Too bigheaded but right!” she succumbed to his touches as he began to carry her to what had formally been their bedroom. “Hey,” she whimpered and yawned. “Hey you,” he sniggered kissing her nose. “Love you.” “Really?” “You know that I do! What ever happened can’t get in the way of how I feel Sophie. The big question is whether or not you think we can make it work.” She looked at him, stroked his face and smiled. “I love you and I always have but please don’t use this to get back at me James. I feel fucking bad enough without you rubbing it in!” “Hey,” he sighed tenderly kissing and sucking on her skin. “I wouldn’t do that Sophie. I love you and want you in my life. Berating you serves no purpose at all.” She whimpered and moaned. “I love you James.” “I love you Sophie,” he grinned, his mouth moving down and taking her sex in his mouth. “Hey sweetie wake up, it’s almost lunch.” “No!” she protested. “Care to look at the clock and listen to the radio for reports?” “You’re a bad boy James!” she grinned, hugging him to her. “Shush, I have to be in the studio soon. I delayed Martin but I can’t stay here forever.” “And Sean?” “I won’t say a word,” he mentioned. “I know that sex is still great between us but we still love one another but let’s see how Sean and Rhian get on. I hope they get on…” “Me too,” said Sophie kissing James deeply. “I want you James.” “Fuck Sophie!” he whimpered. She awoke with James smiling at her and stroking her face tenderly with his fingertips. “You’re more beautiful than I recalled,” he laughed, kissing her madly. “You’re quite obviously pissed then,” she laughed. “You think?” he queried. “How did I fuck up so badly Sophie?” “We both did James,” she grimaced. “Martin can wait; come here.” James tittered. “I couldn’t agree more!” His phone rang and his voice mail continued to pick up the messages. “James you should answer,” she sighed hugging him to her. “James it’s Martin, call me. James it’s Martin, where the hell are you? James, fucking call me back! James I’m more pissed than you’ll ever know right now! James! You fucker!” She sniggered. “Call him; he’ll be worried.” “He won’t be worried once I tell him I’ve been fucking you.” “James,” she stressed, “if you’ve fucked me you can get out of this bed right now.” “Sophie!” “Making love with me is one thing but fucking me another entirely. I suggest you get dressed and piss off!” she yelled. He had no chance to argue; she kicked him out of the bed and then speedily got dressed. “Sophie you’ve misunderstood!” he implored. “WE should be together. I don’t want to lose you, not ever. I love you baby.” “Then prove it! You can fuck anyone James, but it takes a lot to love someone and show them love. I fell for your charm again didn’t I? All you wanted was to get your end away and I let you! I can be so stupid.” “Not stupid; I love you and want you. Whatever you want from me Sophie I’ll do it because I love you and no one can come close to the love I have for you.” He blushed and stroked her face with his fingertips as he gave her a sly smile. “I mean it honey, I love you.” Sophie whimpered as once more his mouth captured hers and his tongue probed for entrance and then danced with her own exquisitely. “You’ll never forget me Sophie,” he moaned. “James…” He picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the bedroom they had once shared. With a lecherous grin on his face he removed the rest of her clothes. taking a step back to admire her naked and wanton body. “James I want you!” she said desperately. “Take your clothes off.” “Uh-Uh,” he muttered going down on her and taking her sex in his mouth, licking and sucking till Sophie thought she could take no more. “Oh James!” She bucked uncontrollably into his mouth, James lapping at her juices desperate to taste all that she had to give. She came again and again yelling his name so loud she was worried that all her neighbours would know what they had been doing. “Sophie,” said a gentle voice. “Sophie, come on baby.” “Umm…” “Come on sleepy.” “Umm,” she whimpered pulling the duvet over her and snuggling down. “Sophie darling,” he nuzzled at her neck making her whimper. “ “I have to go now baby.” “Hmm.” “Baby come on,” he sniggered. “Wake up.” “Time to fuck?” she muttered sleepily. “No babe.” “Yes babe,” she smiled pulling him down. “Fuck me and be late.” “Sophie.” “Fuck me and be late.” “Damn you! Come here!” Some months later “Do you want me to tell Sean we’re together or will you do that? We can always do it together,” said Sophie. “I’ll do it, I owe him that much. There isn’t anything else is there Sophie?” “No James!” she cried. “Except for whatever you and Rhian need to tell him.” She shrank away from him, realising that she and James had kept a lot private. “That’s ok then,” he smiled. “What we have is a partnership.” “James…” “Shush…” “But James…” “Stop with the ifs, buts and maybes and just bloody kiss me.” “Sophie,” he said softly. “It was only ever sex, I need you to believe that.” “Who’s to say it won’t happen again?” “Me! Whatever I want, however out of the Ball Park it is, I’ll discuss it with you, I promise.” “If I try it and don’t like it but you want it then what?” “We talk about it; find a compromise. I don’t wanna lose you Sophie, sex will never replace you, ever.” “That’s easy to say now…” “You don’t get it! I love you and I’d rather be close to you without sex than be without you and have lots of sex!” “James!” “It’s true! It’s you that I love Sophie. I’ve fucked plenty of women but none have made me feel like you do. I get more excited kissing and holding you than I do having full sex with other women!” She giggled nervously and glanced at the clock. “I shouldn’t be so hard on you and right now I have a certain guy called Richey to get ready for; we’re going to see a movie and eat copious amounts of popcorn,” she stuck her tongue out at him. “Bitch!” he laughed taking her tongue in his mouth and playing his own against it. She snuggled into the duvet, whispering his name as she tapped out a message for Richey: “ Held up. Wont make movie today. Go have fun. Sophie.” “Film woz ace bt not as gud as James I bet!! Luv Rich.” “The bastard,” laughed James. “How did he know?” “Because he’s Richey,” she said simply. “He can always read between the lines.” “Do you think I was better than the film?” “Having seen the film before…yes!” “I am going to woo you all over again and have you fall in love with me.” “I’m in love with you now,” she giggled coyly. “Stop being so soppy, I love it too much.” “Good because I have resolved to be very soppy and lovesick and to also take note of what you say.” “What if lovesick conflicts with my opinion?” “We’ll discuss it and I may have to go against you.” “Really?” “Is that a problem?” “The problem would be if you agreed with everything I said or wanted.” “I’ll only ever do that if it’s in my best interest darling!” he sniggered. “Not that you’ll make things so easy for me.” “What we want is worth working for.” “I can’t argue with that.” “Good.” “Are you sure I’m what you want?” “James, I’ve never been more certain of anything; ever!” “Marry me Sophie. Be my wife again.” Sophie tugged him down and kissed him feverishly whispering ‘yes’ into his ear as she nuzzled against him, the rest of the day was theirs and sod anyone else that had demands on their time. Anxiously Sophie paced up and down in each and every room in the house. James had now moved back in with her and was seeing Sean to inform him that he and Sophie were back together. Sophie was worried; the once strong friendship that the cousins had was near to breaking point as a consequence of her rejecting Sean, and him then being rejected by Rhian. He was alone and blamed James and Sophie for his predicament. It was getting dark when a cab eventually pulled up and a tired and a weary James got out and laboured to the door, where Sophie was waiting for him. “Oh my James!” she shrieked on seeing his bloodied nose, cut lip and stitches on his left eyebrow. “Come on in, quickly and I’ll get you a drink, you look like you need one.” “I’ve been at the hospital for a few hours. Sean wasn’t terribly impressed with our news,” he flinched, taking a sip of the neat whiskey that she had poured for him, the cut on his lip stinging like hell. “He won’t be coming to the wedding. Martin was with him and even he couldn’t calm him down. This could be the end of the band.” “NO!” she cried. “It can’t be. Surely he doesn’t mean it; he’s just angry.” “I hope so but I wouldn’t hold my breath sweetheart.” “What if I went to see him, would that help or make things worse?” “At least he won’t hit you!” “Did you defend yourself? How’s he?” “He doesn’t have a mark on him Sophie. I couldn’t hit him, not when he’s hurting so much already.” “I love you James,” she smiled, tenderly kissing his right cheek. “Very, very much.” “You’ve got a fucking nerve!” yelled Sean on opening the door and seeing Sophie. “Why don’t you just fuck off!” “Sean I know that you hate me and James right now but don’t throw it all away. You have always loved music and you’ve said that you couldn’t work with anyone other than James and Nicky on a permanent basis.” “Time for a new venture then.” “For James and Nicky that’s just fine, they do a lot of that now. You are an introvert, you can’t sell your talents and people don’t appreciate your musical talent. It will be so difficult for you Sean but if that’s how it has to be.” “It is,” Sean snarled and slammed the door. Sophie waited a minute or two to give him the opportunity to reconsider and open the door again. It never happened. She took a small notepad and wrote ‘think about it’ and then posted it. Now it was all up to Sean. “It is with regret that Martin Hall of Hall or Nothing announces that Manic Street Preachers have disbanded after more than twenty years together. It was a mutual decision and they all have future solo projects lined up and they are relishing the new challenge.” The end. <<< Janey's stories |