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| A LETTER TO NICKY by Janey Dear Nicky I’m really not sure why I am doing this, I suppose because I am too much of a coward to tell you personally. This is possibly the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, but there comes a time when you have to be honest, at least with yourself, if no one else. I will completely understand if you wish to have nothing more to do with me once you have read this. I’m not sure how I would feel in your position. I wish that I could bury things away, but I can’t, well not any more. Hiding from the truth and living a lie is tearing me apart. If I weren’t so selfish you would never get to see this letter. I would keep it somewhere safe, relieved that I had put my thoughts on paper, but that will not be enough. I am sorry, in advance, for hurting and confusing you. We have been friends for many years. In times of indecision, confusion and despair you have been there to listen to me cuddle me and soothe me. At times your patience astounded me, yet all I gave you in return was more and more pain. You deserve so much better. So, you will be wondering, what the hell is he going to tell me that is so damned bad? Sit down and take a deep breath Nicky. You have been very supportive of all my strange ideas for the band, not that James or Sean weren’t, but you always threw yourself into things so enthusiastically. Nothing was off limits. Not even the homoerotic imagery. When I mentioned doing it, as I recall I said that it would be a talking point for people. It certainly proved that way. However, I had ulterior motives; I love you, wanted to be close to you as much as possible. Sharing a bed at Philip’s or in a hotel was no longer enough anymore; for years I have harboured secret desires for you, knowing that I will be risking our friendship if you knew the truth. Today I tell you the truth because it is necessary. I hope that I do not lose your friendship but I accept that that is a very real possibility. I have no wish to embarrass you either. I simply needed for you to know I hope that you understand. Take care Nicky, Love Richey X x x x x x Nicky read the neatly written piece of A4 paper several times over, a huge smile on his lips, a strange warmth fluttering through him. His friend loved him the same way that Nicky loved him. Thank goodness Richey had had the courage to be honest concerning his emotions, now things would be so good for them both. Shaking like a leaf, he picked up the phone and dialled Richey’s number, his heart racing in nervous anticipation. Never before had he felt remotely like this; Richey meant the world to him. “Hi ya,” said the gentle voice. “Rich, it’s Nick. I got your letter.” A long pause. “Rich are you still there?” “Erm yeah. I was waiting for you to tell me to stop being a silly sod.” Nicky giggled. “Why would I say that to the man I love when he has told me that he loves me too?” “I know it’s a shock and everything and…hang on…did you just…” “Yes!” Nicky said gleefully. “I love you, you mad fool.” “Oh right.” “It’s not like you to be short of words Android. Why don’t I get over there right now?” “That would be good Nicky, really good. Are you sure that you know what you’re saying and what this means?” “If I said I’m bringing my toothbrush, what would that tell you?” Richey laughed: “You understand perfectly! Don’t keep me waiting too long.” “I won’t. Just one thing Rich.” “Yeah?” “Make sure there are clean sheets on the bed.” “Oh Nicky!” As soon as they both hung up, Richey rushed to change his bedding – he wanted it all to be perfect for Nicky. The end. <<< Janey's stories |