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| KATIE'S SORROW by Janey <<< Part 4 PART 5 The radio alarm interrupted Katie's dream of long gone days of her childhood rudely, until she became aware of James strong-arms still holding affectionately. "Hey babe, are you in the land of the living?" she sighed as she stretched her arms and legs out as she yawned. "Umm." James grunted in response. "Kinda." Katie turned and kissed him lightly on his lips. "Your morning stubble feels nice." James merely grunted in response as he half opened his eyes. " A man of few words huh?" "Umm." "Good." Very gently, Katie started nibbling at his lips until his mouth opened slightly and she kissed him properly, for what was really the first time, as James responded and started kissing her back tenderly, his body responding even though he wasn't fully awake. She loved the taste of him despite the fact the pair of them were suffering from morning breath. Together they moaned as their kiss deepened and their legs entwined, bringing them even closer. "Now that," drawled James drowsily, "is one hell of a wake up call. Morning gorgeous. Did you sleep ok?" "Thanks to you, yes." "So," drawled James lazily as he hugged her, "fancy a nice shower to help you wake up?" "I think I can handle that," said Katie. "As long as you promise to wash my back for me." "Damn you drive a hard bargain," giggled James as he kissed her again. "I know, but you wouldn't want me any other way." "Shower, NOW!" smirked James as he threw back the quilt and pushed Katie to the edge of the bed, and then tapped her arse. "Last one there is a sissy!" The guys had been really sweet with her when she'd arrived with James and asked her no awkward questions. They were just concerned that she was feeling better as she still seemed a little pale and not her usual self. "You sure you're ok Katie?" asked Nicky. "You must've had this thing much worse than James did." "I, erm, I had a few complications, but I'm fine now." "Well it's great to have you back and I promise we'll behave." "Oh no you don't Wire!" laughed Katie. "Don't give me any quarter." Katie ambled around her home feeling incredibly lonely. James was staying at his own home that night and she missed him, suddenly the house seemed very big and empty. She went into his bedroom, where he had left some of his clothes and toiletries, and inhaled the scent of him. It was wonderfully familiar and comforting. She heard the telephone ringing and then the answering machine kicked in: "Katie it's James. I don't like the idea of you staying alone. Call me back when you get this. Love you, James." Katie glanced at the clock and realised that she had fallen asleep. She was pleased that James had rung as she'd begun to feel a little bit of a fool. The night before she had got into bed with James and tried to be intimate with him but he had turned her down. The same thing had happened that morning, and even though they had shared a shower, once more nothing had occurred. She tried to rationalise it; James had already spoken about them taking their time, but a part of her worried that he didn't find her attractive, 'that way' after all that she had been through. She knew that she being paranoid about it, after all James was a wonderfully sensitive person and he had her welfare and best interests at heart. If only she could vanquish the nagging doubts. She pressed 1471 and then 3 on the phone to return the call. Judging from all the noise in the background, James was still with the guys. "Hang on a sec love," shouted James. "I can't hear you very well." James was obviously moving to somewhere quieter. "Ok. We should be fine now. Sorry about that," he said softly. "How's it going?" "Not bad but I'm missing you like crazy. The guys think I've gone mad 'cos I'm on another planet half the time." "Nothing unusual in that," she giggled. "Hey! Watch it now," he laughed in response. "Any ways, we're gonna be done here soon, we're just finishing off, so get some clothes and things packed. I'm gonna pick you up on my way home and you can stay the night at my home if that's ok with you?" "You sure that's what you want? I mean you never have girls staying at yours." "Well I want you to stay. What do you say?" "I'll get packed and be waiting for you." Katie couldn't help but flash a huge cheesy grin. "In fact," he said, "why not get enough stuff for a good few days?" "You might have had enough of me after one night!" she retorted with a giggle. "Now that is NOT going to happen. Go on, go get your stuff and I'll be with you in about 45 minutes." "Ok. I'll see you soon." "Bye sweetheart. Oh and by the way…I love you," and he blew her a kiss down the phone. James picked her up half an hour later, and gave her a big kiss as she sat down beside him in the car. All the way to James' they chatted and laughed; Katie felt like a stupid teenager. It was unheard of for James to have girls to stay at his home. Even girls he'd been seeing for many months had complained that his home was 'out of bounds' because James guarded his privacy rigorously, yet here he was, taking her to his home. She felt like the cat that had got the cream. His home was beautiful, and not at all what Katie was expecting. It was very tastefully decorated and also very tidy, which James had confessed was due to the fact that he had a cleaner a couple of times a week. "Now don't take this the wrong way," said James as he showed her around upstairs, "but this is your room. Don't look at me that way! Of course I want you to stay with me, but this is a strange place to you and I wanted you to be comfortable. I didn't want to put any pressure on you." "I'm sure I'll be fine James," she said. "But thanks for being so considerate." She gave him a quick kiss before he guided her to his room "This is it," said James and he opened the wardrobe to show some empty hangers, and a drawer that was also empty. "I cleared some room for you. I wasn't sure what you'd bring with you." Katie placed her large bag on the bed, and stood in front of him grinning like an imbecile. "You know you should watch it," she laughed. "I could blow this 'tough guy' image right out of the water!" "Don't you dare!" he grinned as he hugged her close to him. "I have a reputation to maintain you know. Could you imagine what the press would say if they knew that I was really a big softie? I'd never live it down." "Well I might be persuaded to keep your secret." "Persuaded? Not that sounds interesting," he mused as he kissed her warmly. "I'm glad you're here. I was missing you already." "Umm. I missed you too. My house seemed empty without you in it. Wonder why that is?" "Hey now, I'm not that big!" James laughed. "Don't you deliberately wind me up Bradfield." Again he laughed and hugged her even tighter. "Well I do have something of a confession to make," he whispered. "Oh god!" she exclaimed in faux horror. "I knew it! You're really a woman but you had a sex change years ago. That's why you're so in touch with your feminine side." "You minx!" he said as he picked her up and then, after moving her bag to the floor, placed her carefully on the bed and then lay down by her side as he caressed her face. "I love seeing you happy like this, you know." "Well it's all your fault." "Umm. So I have a big responsibility then don't I?" "Oh I think you can cope with the pressure." "I hope so, but I don't know how you're gonna feel about this." "Come on James, spill! I'm intrigued now." "Sean was probing me about you this afternoon after you'd gone home, and well I kinda like ended up telling him about us getting really close, and that we were kinda like, seeing each other. He then went and told Nicky, so you may well get a bit of ribbing when you go in tomorrow." "Oh I see," she said softly, and James looked at her with concern in his eyes. "I think I can cope with that." "Really? I was panicking because I hadn't discussed it with you, and I wasn't sure how you'd react." James kissed her sweetly. "I mean it's a big step isn't it?" "Yeah, it is. So what did you tell him about us then? I mean the last Sean knew was that I'd turned you down right?" "Yeah," James giggled nervously. "It was. I told him that I went to see you later that night and that we both started to feel a bit rough. Then we got pretty ill, and that over the course of the week, we talked a lot and we realised that we actually had feelings for each other and we had possibly got something together." "And he believed you?" Katie gazed at him with trepidation written on her features. "Hell no!" James smirked, "but he knew better than to push his luck. They both wish us well by the way, though I'm still not sure how Martin feels about us being together." "Martin's being protective James. He's worried that the circumstances are all wrong for us and that we've been pushed together." "Do you think that too?" "Well we kinda have, haven't we? But I do know that if you had asked me that night at the party would I go for a drink with you or something that I would have said yes. The strange thing is that we haven't been able to take our time getting to know one another. It's all been full throttle and we've had to confront some traumatic things, and all the emotions and problems that go with that. We're not gonna have the nice fluffy start to a relationship that most couples have." "No regrets, sweetheart? About us I mean." "James, I love being with you and having you near me. What's to regret about that?" Katie smiled and stroked her thumbs over his stubbly chin. "Now why don't you stop talking and start kissing me?" "I'm not doing a very good job of keeping you happy am I? Very remiss of me, so, let me put that right." James murmured softly to her, and then he pressed his lips against hers, in a warm and passionate kiss. They sighed as their bodied melted together, but for all the passion of the kiss, they were gentle and thoughtful in their movements, taking their time and loving every touch. "I love you, James," moaned Katie as she started to lift his t-shirt off. James did everything he could to facilitate the easy removal of his top by Katie and then pulled her down onto him. "Hey now." "We don't need to be undressed to kiss and cuddle, Katie," James whispered as he planted soft kisses under her ear lobe, making her sigh into him. "As nice as it is." "Mmm, well I want a little bit more than that." "No you don't," said James as gently as he could. "It's way too soon for this Katie." "Don't you dare to presume you know when I'm ready to make love with you; it's patronising and insulting." "I'm just repeating what the doctor said, baby. He told you it would be at least 6 weeks after the operation before you should consider any sexual activity, and you know that you're not ready 'cos you're still in a lot of pain." "I think I'm the best judge of my own body James, don't you? Why don't you just admit that you don't find me sexually attractive? At least not since you found out that I can't have children." Her words stung James but he knew he had to keep his temper. This wasn't the Katie he loved. This Katie was frightened and nervous, and with good reason. She was filled with self-doubt and James knew that at times she would throw things like this at him, not out of spite, but out of fear and confusion. Right now she needed affirmation that she was still attractive. "Katie I'm not going to rise to this ok?" he hugged her and tilted her head so that she had to look at him. "Now, I would love to make love with you but now is not the time, and you know it. It's not just the operation you have to recover from is it? There's the rape as well, and that's going to be a biggie, trust me. Having you in bed with me, sharing a shower, kissing and cuddling really do mean the world to me Katie, so stop looking for a fight." "It's fine for you to come out with all that now, James. But what happens when it's really ok for me to make love? What's your excuse going to be then?" Once more her dark eyes seemed black and lifeless, and James noticed how hard she was fighting to keep her composure. She didn't want to start crying again. Something that she had done so much of in the last week. "You know I want you Katie. You were very aware of my erection in the shower, although you very politely didn't mention it. You've woken up to find me caressing your hair or laying my head on your chest, or to find a hand has strayed to somewhere pretty private!" James smirked as he stroked her tenderly. "I'm not going to rush you into something that you're just not ready for love. I love you, why would I want to hurt you by doing something as despicable as that?" Katie turned over and hid herself away from him, but James merely snuggled into the back of her, nuzzled her neck sensually and held her tightly clasped hands as best as he could. "Sulking?" he asked as he nibbled lightly at the flesh behind her ears. "No. I'm trying to stop feeling like a complete and utter twat." Katie said heavily. "I don't want to hurt you or push you away James. It's just I get to feeling paranoid." "I know babe," said James. "It's happened before and it'll probably happen again. I just wish I knew what to say or do." "Trust me when I say that you're doing fine. Now, fancy staying here and cuddling for a while?" Katie enjoyed staying with James at his home. He was considerate as always and seemed to know when to give her space. Work was proving to be very tiring, even though she was only working a few hours most days. She had reduced the number of painkillers she was taking but always felt under the weather, no matter how much sleep she had managed to get the night before. Nicky and Sean had both been very restrained and didn't tease her or James at all. Instead they both wished them good luck and promised to behave and give them time and space to get to know each other properly. Tomorrow she wasn't at work and she was seriously considering spending all day in bed sleeping, or watching dvd's and videos in between sleeping on the couch. "You should have a nice lazy day tomorrow, sweetheart," said James as if he had read her mind. "You seem really tired." "Yeah I am. Still, only two more days and it's the weekend and we both have time off again, so I can catch up on my rest, not that I should be tired. I don't get it. I haven't had a bad night at all whilst I've stayed here with you, so I should feel ok shouldn't I?" James put his book down on the bedside table, leaned over and took away the magazine that Katie was reading and then hugged her into his torso. "Stop being so bloody impatient woman!" he mocked. "Give your body chance to recover and regain its strength." "I just think I should be doing more. I mean, I've got you in bed and it's not even midnight. That's not right." James laughed warmly. "Hey don't knock it! Many women have tried and failed you know!" "Very funny! Seriously, when was the last time you went to bed this early?" "Now you've got me. I guess a couple of years ago when I had flu, but it's not a problem. I'm here because I want to be, you haven't forced me to come to bed have you now?" "No." "So stop worrying. If I wasn't reading in bed, with you for company, then I'd be sat downstairs, reading on my own and I know which I prefer." "Like I'm great company when I sit here grunting and moaning at the stuff I'm reading." "But you're here," he said, and then kissed her. "That's the big difference. I feel more complete somehow when I'm with you." "Boy, there you go, getting all mushy and sentimental on me again." "And you love it! Now when on Friday do you have to go to the hospital for your check up?" "Erm, about 3pm I think. You don't need to come, besides you and Nicky have an interview booked that afternoon." "So cancel it," James smirked. "I'm going with you and that's all there is to it." "Thanks. I'd appreciate that, it's not something I really want to do but I have to." "You don't have to go through with anything on your own any more, Katie. I'll always be there for you." "Umm, I know love," she said as she kissed James naked chest several times with butterfly kisses. "That means a lot to me." "Hey it's my pleasure…as always." Said James as he raised her face and gave her a wonderfully passionate kiss, goodnight. Part 6 >>> Janey's stories |