janey_katies-sorrow-10

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KATIE'S SORROW by Janey <<< Part 9

PART 10

“I’m really not sure about Derren coming round,” moaned James as they cuddled in bed later that night. “It all seems a bit weird to me.”
“Well it’s Derren you can thank for your entertainment earlier this evening,” she giggled as she snuggled into him. “He taught me a few tricks that he thought may help, and they did, which meant, that you didn’t have to worry about talking to me All of the time. Instead you could actually just enjoy it.”
“Are you telling me that you genuinely never had visions?”
“No, I had them, but I was able to control them. That’s the difference James; I was able to make them go away, and boy do I feel good about that.”
“Just what sort of ‘tricks’ did he teach you then?” James was most definitely not impressed.
“Will you stop being so bloody paranoid!” she said as she nudged him lightly in his ribs. “He spoke to me about triggers, coping mechanisms and visual aids. That way when the images started coming, I was able to deflect them and think of something much more pleasant.”
“Umm, well it all sounds a tad too easy for my liking. You sure he doesn’t have an ulterior motive?”
“Oh great. We go from the sublime to the ridiculous,” Katie remonstrated. “How many times have you met Derren now, James? It should be blatantly obvious that there is nothing between us. We’re friends – pure and simple.”
“You can’t blame me for wondering, but yeah, I know you’re right. If he was going to make a move he would have done so by now.”
“So, you’ll be here on Saturday then? Mid afternoon.”
“Sure thing. I’m willing to try almost anything, you know that.”

On Friday Katie had busied herself with some reports that she had to catch up with, and she also caught up with the new itinerary for the forthcoming tour. James hadn’t been happy with her working when she was still officially on sick leave, but knew it was futile to argue with her as she was back at work the following week; albeit on restrictive duties.
She had also had to contact the airline and hotels to get herself a ticket and let them know that she would be staying. Martin had laughed semi despairingly at her when she had contacted him to let him know of the change of plans. He had insisted to her that she go there purely as James’ girlfriend and that she recommences work on their return, and she hadn’t been impressed but between Martin and James ganging up on her, she knew she had no chance and so gave in relatively gracefully.

When they got up on Saturday morning, Katie went shopping for what she would need for the roast dinner that she was doing the next day, and also bought some fresh lasagne sheets and other ingredients for their meal that night. She also stocked up on alcohol and bought ingredients for a cake, along with cake tins, as she knew that James didn’t have enough, and she assumed that he probably only had the ones he did have because of Mavis.

“Oh boy, now something smells divine.” James commented as he wandered in from the lounge, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his body. “I love the smell of home baking.”
“I hope you’ll like it.”
“I’m bound too. You’re good at everything you do, so I have absolute confidence. What type of cake is it, by the way?”
“Schwarzwalderkirschtorte,” giggled Katie, rubbing her thumbs over James’ fleshy lips. “It’s very rich and very decadent with oodles and oodles of cream.”
“Sounds interesting. Maybe we could be even more decadent and have some in bed? We could have fun with all that cream.” James pulled at her lower lip with his mouth, grazing her a little with his stubble.
“I like you when you have a bit of a beard and moustache you know,” said Katie. “Why not stop shaving for a while?”
“What’s so good about my facial hair?” he wondered.
“It makes you look even sexier than you normally do, and gets me a bit excited,” answered Katie. “It makes you look all macho and moody, and I kinda like, like that, you know?”
“I guess I could grow it for a while, just to keep you happy.” His stubble pricked the delicate skin of her neck, as James nuzzled down and bit her lightly, his hands cupping her buttocks as he ground his hips into hers. “I do like making you happy.”
“You do?” Katie mumbled in response, surrendering her mouth to his and stroking his broad shoulders with her hands, loving the way his muscles trembled under her touch. She then shrieked and jumped when James placed a hand inside her shorts and briefs, and began to stroke around her entrance. Katie knew she was getting wet, she could feel it.
“Good?”
“Very.”
“Good.”
“You have very nimble fingers, James.”
“Will you stop whittering and enjoy it?”
“I am.”
James took her mouth in a kiss, stroking her ever growing bud lovingly, getting high on the sensations her shaking body and laboured breathing ignited in him. His other arm was gripping her tightly, helping her stay on her feet as she melted into him.
“James,” she groaned into his mouth as her orgasm slowly but powerfully flowed through her, hands and arms clutching his shoulders firmly.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep…

“I guess that means you’re done huh?” he giggled as he caressed and kissed her during her recovery. Katie just smiled and nodded in response. “I think maybe I’d better take the cake out don’t you? You look like you may drop it.” He grabbed the oven gloves, put them on and opened the oven door.
“You bastard,” Katie whimpered, pinching his arse as he bent over and opened the door.
“Oh boy,” exclaimed James, “four cakes. Now that really is decadent.” Carefully he took all four out and put them on the cooling rack. “Do I need to take them out of the tins?”
“Not for a few minutes,” said Katie, “and you make sure you wash your hands before you touch them.”
“You don’t think it might just add a certain je ne sais quoi, then?”
“No!!!” She laughed with him as he grabbed her in a huge bear hug. “You’re mad but I kinda find that appealing.”
“Good, ‘cos I ain’t gonna change.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
They forgot about everything else as they enjoyed a deep, sensual embrace and kiss.

Katie enjoyed a conference call with Rhian and Rachel, arranging to meet up the following weekend, after changing her plans so that she could go away with James. She had the conversation on speakerphone so that she could assemble and decorate the cake she was making, and James occasionally walked by, shaking his head and laughing at the saucy nature of the conversation that they were having.
“I thought us guys were bad,” James sniggered into the microphone after putting a dollop of cream on Katie’s nose, and then licking it off. “But you women are terrible.”
“And you wouldn’t have us any other way,” giggled Rachel and Rhian at the same time.
“Guess not,” he said, lightheartedly. “Has Katie told you our news?”
“News? What news?”

Katie swatted at James’ backside but gave in to his warm smile, and the sexy way that he had begun nibbling at her neck and stroking her arse. “Erm… nothing much-really,” she stuttered.
“Katie!” chirruped the joint chorus over the phone. “What? Come on girl, spill.”
“Well, erm-it’s-just-that-JAMES! Erm sorry…”
“James will you put her down for five minutes!” giggled Rhian.
James muttered a non-understandable response to Rhian and Rachel, because he was far too engrossed in giving Katie a kiss and groping her backside.
“OI! JAMES! Put her down, NOW!”
“Umm, nice as this is,” Katie smiled, “it’s not very polite to ignore our friends on the phone is it now?”
“No!” was the joint response in the background.
“Shame,” muttered James. “I was just getting started.”
“James will you just tell us?” begged the voices from the telephone.
“I don’t know that I should.”
“You’ve started something now,” giggled Katie.
“It’s really not for me to tell them though is it?”
“Maybe not, but you mentioned it so you may as well finish off telling them.”
“It should be you really though baby.”

Katie and James tried to stifle their giggles on hearing the protestations coming from Rhian and Rachel in the background, which really wasn’t easy as they were both going absolutely apoplectic.
“James, why not just tell them and put them out of their misery?”
“Nah, I think that you should. Women’s prerogative and all that,” said James and then added, “that cake looks bloody gorgeous, in fact, very like a Black Forest Gateau.”
“That’s what it is. I did tell you.”
“Erm no, you told me it was schwartz-something-or-another.”
“Yep, that’s its proper German name.”
“Will you two stop talking about cakes and tell us what is going on please?” pleaded Rhian.
“I’m going to be officially moving in with James when we get back from Germany, and putting my place up for sale, so nothing much really,” giggled Katie trying to stop James from groping her bottom and nibbling on her neck, without much success.
“Oh my word!” exclaimed Rachel, with excitement. “James are you ill? You never even had girls over to stay before this and now you want Katie to move in with you? I think I need to sit down.”
“Oi, will you two behave!” laughed James. “I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I mean people move in together all the time, don’t they?”
“Yes but most of them aren’t as commitment phobic as you are James,” added Rhian. “Even though we all thought it was on the cards it’s a big shock actually hearing that you’re really going through with it. Wait till we tell Nick, Sean and Martin, they are going to be so surprised.”
“We are so chuffed for you both, really we are,” said Rachel. “So are you going to have a party at some point to celebrate?”
“To celebrate what?” asked James with surprise. “I mean it won’t be a house warming ‘cos I’ve lived here for a couple of years now. We haven’t got married or engaged have we, and as far as I know it’s not usual to throw a party when someone you love finally gives in and moves in with you. What is the custom I believe, is to ignore friends for a few weeks whilst you shag each other senseless isn’t it?”
“JAMES!” shrieked Katie, swatting him with her hand.
“Well isn’t it?”
“Yes,” answered Rachel and Rhian.
“And you haven’t had to wait very long for me to give in and move in with you. In fact,” teased Katie, “I think I may need to re-evaluate my decision. I don’t want to come across as being too easy do I now?”
“Trust me when I say it’s taken a long time.”
“He’s right Katie,” said Rachel.
“He is I have to say,” agreed Rhian. “Its taken bloody years.”

Katie and James winked at one another as they heard the doorbell ring.
“I’ll get it,” said James. “It’s probably Derren.”
“Oh hell yeah,” said Katie shaking her head. “Is it that time already?” But James had already left to answer the door.
“We all need to go and celebrate you and James moving in together,” said Rachel. “But next weekend is definitely for us girls.”
“Can I leave it to you two wonderful ladies to organise? Oh, and don’t forget to invite Rachel too.”
“We won’t don’t worry. Actually she was here yesterday,” said Rhian.
“How is she?” asked Katie. “I don’t seem to have seen her for ages now. When did they get back from Italy?”
“About a week ago. They had a great time though it took them a few days to get used to not having the boys around.”
“Oh did Sherry and Graham take care of them? I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, they had a great time too, apparently, spoiled them rotten,” laughed Rhian warmly, “but I told Rachel that that’s what grandparents do.”
Katie could hear James and Derren approaching the kitchen. “Sorry girls but I’ve got to go. Don’t forget I trust you to find somewhere good for this night out next weekend. And definitely NO MEN! So just make sure that Nicky knows that,” Katie laughed and then nodded to Derren when he entered the kitchen and sat down on a stool at the opposite side of the worktop. “And his donning a dress for the night will not make him an honorary lady, how ever much he pleads!”
Rachel laughed raucously, making Derren stare at the phone and smile. “I’ll have to be very vigilant then and make sure he doesn’t get to find out where we go to.”
“Damn that means I’ve got to keep it quiet from Sean, so he’ll be like a bear with a sore head,” Rhian sighed.

“Why can’t you tell Sean? He’s usually good with secrets,” said Katie, a little puzzled, putting the finishing touches to the cake.
“Not when it comes to nights out he’s not. He gets paranoid if we try to keep it secret and thinks we are up to even more stuff than we are. I tell you, sometimes I really don’t think my husband trusts me,” moaned Rhian but then she started to giggle.
“That may have something to do with the fact that the last time you organised something, we all got snapped staring at some male strippers!” laughed Rachel. “There was hell to pay in our house when the press published those pictures I tell you.”
“I think what got to Sean was you being pictured trying to take a strippers posing pouch off with your teeth Rhian!” Katie added, crying with laughing at the memories.
“Don’t!” she screamed. “I don’t even remember doing it.”
“I’m not surprised,” screeched Rachel. “I lost count of the number of cocktails you knocked back, and then that guy sent over that bottle of champagne, which you drank practically all to yourself.”
“I was so ill the next day, and Seany was a real pain in the arse. He kept playing music really loud and getting Mathilda to come and jump on me.”
“That’ll teach you,” Katie and Rachel said in unison.

‘ I won’t be long,’ Katie mouthed to Derren who nodded in reply.
“Trust me when I say we are going nowhere near any strippers or cocktail bars,” Rhian sighed.
“I should hope not young lady,” tormented James. “My little cousin was mortified at your behaviour. He thought you reserved that sort of stuff for him and him alone.”
“Very witty James,” said Rhian, trying hard not to laugh.
“He’s always prided himself on how adventurous the pair of you are with your sex life.”
“JAMES!” was the chorus from the three women, and Katie even gave him a smack on his arse.
“On that note, I think we’ll leave you two to it,” said Rhian. “Best of luck Katie; with the mood he’s in you’re going to need it.”
“He’s a pussy cat really,” she giggled back. “You just need to know how to handle him.”
Jokily James roared and flashed his fingers in front of Katie as though they were claws from a cat; “I have my wild moments, so just be careful. I can be more lion that cute kitten, you know.”
Katie laughed, hugged James warmly and said; “ok girls, we’ve got to go. Talk with you soon, ok?”
“Ok, see you.”

Katie switched the phone over to answerphone while James got some cups and side plates out for the three of them, and chatted with Derren, who seemed very relaxed and was slightly tanned.
“So, how did you get on with those suggestions? Manage to practice a few of them?” His eyebrows wrinkled as he spoke, and his eyes seemed to be smiling.
“She seems to be doing ok, with them,” said James. “She practiced a bit last night.”
“Good, now what I want to do today is go through things with the two of you. James there are techniques that I can show you that so that if Katie does get really panicky and she can’t concentrate on her techniques, you can help her out. Now my main concern is helping you cope with the court case Katie, and of course, when you see your solicitor and barrister, because those are going to be very stressful times for you,” his brown eyes offered reassurance, and a slight smile spread across his lips. “Though I dare say you may find that they have some other uses.”

Katie and James blushed at each other and then at Derren; “Can’t deny they haven’t come in handy,” spluttered James.
“I would have been very surprised if you didn’t try them out in the bedroom too, but as I say, my priorities are for court. Anything else is a bonus.” He flashed them both a big beaming smile and silently nodded as Katie offered him some of the cake.
“Or the garden,” giggled Katie.
“Garden?”
“Oh yeah,” nodded James.
“Now that is a huge leap in such a short space of time. I’m staggered quite frankly.”
“It was nothing like that,” explained Katie. “We still haven’t.”
“I keep telling her that it’s not a problem but Katie seems to think that we should be having penetrative sex,” said James, sitting next to Derren. “I’ve tried to explain that I love her and just want to be close with her and that that aspect of our relationship doesn’t bother me in the least. I am so happy to just hold her in my arms for a cuddle, and with kissing her. Anything else is a huge bonus for me.”
“And why do you feel as though it’s something that you should be doing Katie?”
“James is 35 years old, still a young man, and he’s always had a very active sex life in the past. I can’t expect him to go without sex forever, can I?” Carefully she placed a piece of the cake in front of them all, and then poured out some coffees, before then joining them.
“So this is more about you feeling bad about this than James not being able to cope with it. James tells you that he’s happy when he’s being close with you, so why do you constantly feel the need to give him more, and thus keep putting pressure on yourself?”
“I just want him to be happy, and I want him to know how much I love him. At the moment I can’t because HE keeps invading my head.”

“Katie I know that you love me,” said James, tenderly placing his hands over hers. “I can see it in the way you look at me; the way you touch me; the way you smile; the way you giggle and the way you walk. I love just being with you, and what we have if so very special Katie. Really, everything else is a huge plus but I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you and I know that I never will.”
Derren let the silence hang in the air for a while and then softly said, “we have to find out why you have this need to ‘give’ something to James, Katie. He’s happy with the intimacy between you.”
“I just don’t think he can be satisfied, even though he says he is.”
“Why would he have reason to deceive you?”
“Because,”
“Honey, I can take what ever you have to say,” said James. “We need to be honest about this and I’m sure that these are things that Marge will want to discuss it too.”
“I’m being stupid; I know I am. I told you about not feeling very desirable or womanly after the ectopic and rape,” whispered Katie hesitantly. “There are times when I want to try but you say you just want a cuddle or something else. Sometimes I think you don’t want me that way at all.”
“Oh baby.” James walked around to the other side of the worktop, and gave her a huge hug, whispering to her softly.
“I know it’s not true but that’s how it gets me sometimes.”
“All I want is for you to really be ready and enjoy it. I’m just scared that you’re rushing yourself and if things go wrong it could make it even more difficult for you.”

“We need to be careful here,” interjected Derren. “You’ve had the images whilst you have been intimate before and they caused you lots of upset Katie. How did you deal with it?”
“I told James what had happened and we talked, cuddled and he told me how he loved me but that I didn’t have to do anything if it was too unpleasant.”
“And what did you think when he said that?”
“Good that he listened to me and wasn’t repulsed by what had happened.”
“So, if you were worried that the person you really love, is going to suffer when you’re making love, what would you do?”
“Probably try to find other less threatening ways of expressing myself. I wouldn’t want to hurt them.”
“No, and James doesn’t want to hurt you, but he wants you to know that he loves you,” said Derren. “Right, well I’m going to go and eat this lovely looking cake out in the garden and leave you two alone for ten minutes or so. I want you to be honest about what you’re feeling with each other and what you want, ok? I’m not going to do any work in that area; you’re rape counsellor will help with that.”
“Ok,” said Katie.
“Then when I come back in we can start with practicing some techniques, and I’ll also explain why they seem to work ok? Don’t worry, although some of them will be pretty tough, I’ll make sure to put some fun stuff in too.”
“Thanks Derren,” smiled Katie getting up from her chair and showing him into the garden, before returning to James.

“I didn’t realise that you still felt that way sometimes,” whimpered James. “In my mind the fact that we could pleasure each other was enough, and my telling you I love you.”
“James it is – most of the time. Occasionally I think that you only do that because you think you should, but I KNOW that’s not true. I can’t explain why I doubt you at times.”
“You doubt me because of everything that has happened; I would be more concerned if you were carrying on as though nothing had happened,” James whispered lovingly, cuddling her tightly to him. “I told you some time ago that I was proud of you and the way you have handled all of this, and that’s still true. You may not see it or feel it, but you have come a hell of a long way. Please stop pushing yourself – I love you as you are, and things will move on when you’re ready for them to. You know that when you said you would come and live with me that you made me the happiest man in the world because I knew how enormous a step that was for you to take. That took so much trust on your part.”
“I know you would never knowingly hurt me, James. I just want to love you so much.”
“But you DO love me, I see it and feel it everyday. Especially when you give me that little look that you’re giving me now. When you do that I get all warm and tingly.” His deep brown eyes lit up as he smiled, making Katie smile as well. “You are beautiful in every way there is, and I can’t believe my luck that you’ve fallen for a little Welsh overweight Smurf who’s not that great looking.”
“You are not overweight and I think you’re gorgeous and very sexy,” Katie blushed.
James cupped Katie’s face tenderly in his hands. “I love you.” His lips were warm and soft, and slowly he moved his hands down to fondle her bottom. He moaned into her mouth, their tongues playing sensuously.

Neither of them noticed Derren entering the kitchen almost a quarter of an hour later, and he smiled at their display of affection, coughed and said, with a badly disguised giggle; “have you guys done talking or do you need some more time?”
James and Katie burst out laughing and blushed furiously.

Part 11 >>>

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