janey_into-the-future-2

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INTO THE FUTURE by Janey (Sequel for Past, Present and Future) <<< Part 1

PART 2

After a long silence I stood up; “I’m going to find James.”
“Good,” smiled Nicky, his eyes a shiny vivid blue. “Just remember to listen to what he has to say.”
“I will,” I said sheepishly, walking over to Nicky, who stood as well in readiness for clearing the cups away. When I reached him I held my arms out to him; he smiled warmly and pulled me in for a friendly embrace and a kiss on my cheek, but instead caught my mouth.
“How bloody cosy!” barked James.
Nicky and I parted swiftly and stared at him as he leant against the wall watching us.
“James it’s not what you think,” implored Nicky, “so don’t go off on one.”
James laughed maniacally. “Trying to tell me that it was merely a friendly kiss Wire, huh? From where I’m standing it looked very much like you were about to stick your tongue down her throat.”
“Then you’d be wrong James,” I interrupted. “The only Manic I’ve ever wanted and loved in any kind of romantic way, is you; though sometimes I have to wonder why.” A look of bemusement spread across James’ face and I knew he was trying to decide if Nicky and I were being honest, so I added, “Nicky has talked some bloody common sense to me and it was a simple ‘thank you’ kiss. Nothing more.”
“I’m going to leave you to talk,” said Nicky, making his tactical withdrawal and closing the door behind him.

Once more there was a long silence, James and I watching each other, wondering who should start. Eventually, I did.
“He reminded me that our spending time together was about getting to know one another again and building on the foundations that we have. To do that we need to leave the pain and hurt of the past where it belongs – in the past; only then can we move on and he’s right. We may not work out, but at least we’ll be able to say that we tried and we gave it 100%. Like Nick said, we’re all different people to the ones we were back then.” I made no move towards him; I wanted him to hear the sincerity in my voice. “If we can’t trust we’re not going to get very far.”
“You said when we met up before that you could forgive but not forget, well we both have to forget some of it Karen, if we don’t I’ll keep throwing Richey at you, and you’ll keep reminding me of her and all the other groupies.” He rubbed a hand over his cheeks and ran his index finger behind his ear, as he was prone to do when he was nervous. “If we do that we’re on a collision course to self destruct.”
“I know.”
“That it?”
“Pretty much,” I answered simply. “I’m agreeing with you; what more is there to say?”
“Dunno, I was just, well, kinda like expecting a bit more I guess.”

“Ok. Well I never gave you my home address because I knew that I was moving. I cleaned the place up, got the decorators in, and every item that I wouldn’t need I put in packing cases, ready for when that day came. I’m living in 3 rooms and the others are either filled with boxes or completely empty and bare. It’s not a home James and I didn’t want you to see me in it. I wanted you to come to my new home, when I find it, and see me happy and relaxed; I’m tense, anxious and hate where I live now. As far as the landline goes I’ll be changing my number anyway but I hardly use it. You would only get the bloody machine!” His mouth curled up briefly into a half smile before being replaced by a very serious, concerned expression. He was in pain and it was my fault.

“Karen I wanted to be with you, what happened really freaked me out. Oh you kept saying you were ok but I knew that you weren’t. Instead of letting me help you, you pushed me away. Can you comprehend the message that that gave me? I started to think that when you told me you loved me and that you’d see us all again soon, that you had just said that so I would give you some peace, leave you alone and stop nagging you. I thought that you had been too afraid to be honest about what you really felt.” His amazing brown eyes were so sad that I had a burning inside me; he had huge sad puppy dog eyes when he was upset. James was exposing his heart and soul and it was distressing him.

“I, I never thought,” I stammered, feeling incredibly selfish. “I thought that I was doing the right thing by not letting you see how miserable and alone I was because if you knew the truth, it would cause you so much pain.”
“Karen,” he sighed heavily, tentatively moving towards me, “I heard the despair in your voice. I tried not to show how angry and sad that made me but deep down I just wanted to hold you in my arms and make it all better for you, only I knew that I couldn’t, and the more excuses you came out with, the more I wanted you to tell me ‘James, I don’t want to see you again’.”
“So when I mentioned about coming to see you, what did you think?”
“Honestly?” he asked, and I nodded to him. “I thought you’d back out of it.”
I slumped down on the sofa and started crying. “So that’s why you were getting paranoid and what I thought was overly possessive.”
“Yeah, I thought that you didn’t care that I was hurting, but that that was what you actually wanted. I believed that you wanted to hurt me so much that I would give up on us and give you an easy way out.”
“James honey,” I smiled wryly, “you are way too stubborn to make anything that easy for me.”

He joined me on the sofa, put an arm around me, and exhaled loudly; “We need to talk more and be honest with each other,” he sighed. “Whether you like it or not I WILL come back with you for a couple of days; no arguing!”
“I wouldn’t dare,” I replied sheepishly; “I’ve learnt my lesson on that one.”
“Come on, dry those tears now. I never want to see tears in your eyes again except for tears of happiness.”
“Don’t know that I can promise you that,” I winked. “I’m an emotional git you know, I cry very easily.”
“How about coming to me for a cuddle when you cry then so that I can help make it better?”
I gazed into his eyes and this time they were sparkling with mischief and something else… love.

“You want to be my comfort blanket,” I teased, nudging him playfully.
“If you’ll let me.”
“I think you need to show me how good you’d be before I make my mind up.”
“I can do that.” He pulled me into his body as he settled down on the sofa and gently, but quickly, manoeuvred me so that I was beneath him, his large hands caressing my face while anointing me with sweet brief kisses.
“Not bad,” I mumbled.
“I haven’t started yet,” he smirked, like a cheeky little boy. “Stop being so impatient.”
Then without giving me an opportunity to answer him back, his mouth was over mine and he was sliding his tongue gracefully into my mouth, and I couldn’t prevent a moan escaping.
When Nicky walked in some time later we were both in a state of disarray and panting heavily. “Well,” he said with a huge grin, “I figured when it had been quiet for so long that you had either killed each other or made up. I’m glad it was the latter! I erm… think I’ll leave you to it! Have fun.”

“So,” James sighed when we eventually managed to stop kissing, “ sleeping arrangements?”
“I haven’t changed my mind,” I answered.
“That’s such a shame,” he drawled thickly, “I have that huge bed all to myself; makes sense to share if you ask me.”
“You’ll appreciate me all the more if you have to wait a while.”
“I’ve been waiting for years, we both have.”
“Not in a relationship we haven’t though.”
“You’re sadistic! How can you reasonably expect me to sleep properly when I know that you are going to be in the bedroom opposite, all naked and lovely; and on your own.”
“Ahh, but I won’t be on my own James,” I quipped, and his expression in response was a picture, and I stifled the giggle that was building to explain to him; “I’ve brought a little bear with me.”
“A bear?” he gasped in shock, shaking his head.
“A very special bear,” I informed him, then took him by the hand and stood up. “Come on; I’ll show you.” I knew he was less than enthusiastic but he followed me non-the less, back to my bags.
“All this for a bear,” he muttered as I opened one of my bags, sounding seriously bored.

“I told you, not just any bear James,” I smiled, hugging an 8-inch sandy-brown teddybear in my arms, before turning around and showing James.
A beautiful smile of recognition slowly warmed his features; “JDB!” I tingled inside watching his genuine delight that I still had JDB after all these years. “I can’t believe that you still have him.” He held out his hand and I put my very special soft toy on the palm of his hand; he closed his eyes and breathed in its scent.
“Do you remember when you gave me him?”
“Like it was yesterday,” he beamed. “I gave him to you just before you sat your first exam to give you good luck, and you kissed me on the cheek and announced that he would be called JDB-James Dean Bear! We grinned like fools I recall. Right till the end of school you took him with you everywhere; every exam, every study session in the library, to Richey’s house, hell, he went everywhere.”
“He still does. He’s my little piece of you James.” Lightly I kissed him on the cheek. “Why didn’t you ask me out that day?”
“I did intend to, but then you kissed me on the cheek and I well just kinda like, well ya know, I was a bit stunned and couldn’t seem to find the words, you know.”
“This little guy has heard all my fears, dreams, hopes and ambitions. I’ve cuddled him when I’ve been ill, when I’ve been sad and when I wanted it to be you cuddling up to me, and making me feel alive like never before. Everything I’ve done, every place I’ve been, this little guy has been with me.”

He looked at me from beneath heavy lidded eyes; “Even the last time we met?”
“Yes James,” I said softy. “SHE may have had you for fleeting moments, but she never had anything so special as JDB. Not once was SHE able to come to me and show me something that you had bought her.”
He wrapped his arms around me; the 3 of us re-united at last, and it felt good. I felt whole again.
“We’ve certainly made heavy work of it though haven’t we?”
“Now we have the chance to put that right,” I told him softly. “What is it they say…’the truth will out’?”
“Can I ask you something?” he asked hesitantly.
“Course you can.”
“Why didn’t you get rid of him when I hurt you?” Still he held on to the little bear, cuddling him gently.
“Believe it or not, when all of that happened I clung to him even more. Like I said, he’s my little piece of you.”
“A part she could never have,” he stated with a knowing sigh.
“Absolutely! I tell ya, JD Bear must have thought that I’d gone nuts a few times.”
“Erm, I hate to break this to you sweetheart,” interjected James jovially, “but stuffed toys can’t hear and they don’t have feelings you know.”
In mock horror I covered the bear’s ears with my hands and gave James a rebuke; “Don’t speak like that in front of him, he’s very easily offended.”
“What have I got myself into?” James mocked.
Strange thing was that neither James nor I were bothered about being stuck in the entrance hall having this bizarre conversation. Where we were didn’t matter, it was enough that we were together and getting along.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I’d go from telling JD Bear how much I hated you to how much I loved you like ‘THAT’!” I clicked my fingers to indicate the rapidness to him. “Yep, I’d go from chewing his ears off one minute, metaphorically speaking of course, to holding him like there was no tomorrow.”
“Now you have me as well. He can take care of you when I’m not with you.” James gave my lips the sweetest of chaste kisses. “You’ve looked after him mighty well.”
“I do take exceptionally good care of things that are precious to me.” Tenderly I stroked over his cheeks with my fingertips, then his strong jaw line, and then his wonderful lips.
He pressed my fingertips to his lips and then took them in his warm inviting mouth, and my legs suddenly didn’t feel strong enough to support me. Slowly I withdrew them from his mouth, put my arms around him and moved my face nearer to his, ready for our kiss; little JD Bear still a part of us.

Later that night James contacted everyone and asked them to come to a barbecue the following; luckily they were all able to attend. I managed to get a good night’s sleep despite the torment of having a naked sexy James just opposite me. Still, I had JD Bear and he was a great little fella to cuddle up to, invaluable at times.

James was in charge of the cooking (men and barbecues!) and I was given strict instruction to enjoy myself and mingle. We did all of the shopping in the morning, and the afternoon was spent making marinades and leaving the meat in them to absorb all of the flavour. We bought as much pre-prepared stuff as we could to save ourselves time and I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen so much alcohol.

It was both wonderful and daunting meeting up with everyone again after so long. Thankfully they were all on sparkling form and welcomed me with open arms, back into the ‘Manic’ family. Strange, but after all the years that had passed us by there were no awkward silences, and Rhian, Rachel, Terri and I soon reverted back to being the crazy teens that we once were. I had forgotten how great it was to have a laugh and a joke with them, and the realisation of what I’d lost upset me; I made my excuses and darted inside to splash my face with cold water to stem the tears. Soon after, James followed me in, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me in reassurance.

“You must think I’m such a flake,” I spluttered.
“No I don’t. Tonight was always going to be emotional for you, so be easy on yourself. Why don’t you take sometime for yourself before you join the fun and frivolity again?”
“I want to spend sometime with Clara and Mathilda; they’re great kids.” Once more I started blubbing like a baby. I felt like such an idiot.
“Hey come on. I know that you’re sad because of all the time you’ve missed with them,” James sighed lovingly, “but the fact that we have Mathilda and Clara is proof that SHE didn’t win, and that is something to be very happy about.”
“You’re right, as you so often are, but I keep going back to those solicitors letters and all of the photographs of Rhian and Rachel, heavily pregnant with cuts and bruises caused by…”
“Shush!” His deep kiss silenced me.

I was about to rejoin the fun in the garden when the doorbell chimed. I opened the door and my mouth-hung open in amazement; Richey’s sister Rachel, and it was incredible how like Richey she was. I was, quite simply, flabbergasted.
“Karen,” she said simply, smiling brightly. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too!” I said, suddenly finding my voice and my manners. “Come on in Rache.” We hugged warmly and with fondness, the pair of us needing to wipe away tears.
“Sorry, I was determined not to do that,” she smirked anxiously. “It’s so good seeing you again, I have missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too; more than I can explain. I have let so many people down.”
“If it had been just me that you withdrew from I would have been angry because I thought I knew you better, but I learned that it was Richey who was keeping you around, that made it a bit easier to swallow, but I don’t understand why you stopped seeing the boys; I mean, you and James… What the hell happened, or should I say didn’t happen?”
“Rache I don’t know were to start,” I grimaced, suddenly feeling very tired.
“Sorry, I’m asking too many questions. Let’s just enjoy being together again huh?”

Gradually, throughout the course of the evening, especially after Clara and Mathilda were settled down in a bed for some sleep, I discovered that we all had our little secrets and despite us all being great friends, there were things we hadn’t confided.

Richey’s sister Rachel knew nothing of my ‘friend’ sleeping with James or of the trauma’s that Rhian and Rachel both suffered and endured. The evening had turned into something of a confessional; Martin and Terri dumbfounded by what had been going on under their noses without them actually realising the significance of it all.

Rachel had also been on the receiving end of some very acidic and caustic comments when our so-called friend had told her that Richey occasionally cut himself because he hated the way that Rachel tried to run his life, we all knew nothing could be further from the truth; Rachel never interfered, and also never complained when he needed someone to confide in. She loved her brother so much, even when Richey was at his lowest – and that never stopped. It appeared that we had all been fair game.

James tried hard to persuade Rhian and Nicky to let the girls stay overnight and after much cajoling, they relented and agreed to let me and uncle James have them over for the night, and they would come and collect them the following lunchtime.

James and I finally staggered to bed shortly after 2am, checking first on the girls before we said goodnight.
“Sleep well,” James whispered.
“I will.”
We kissed and then made our way to our separate bedrooms. Surprisingly, it didn’t take me long to fall asleep.

I awoke some time later to the sound of James’ voice. I checked the clock; 4.45am, but it was very bright outside. Hurriedly I put on a t-shirt and a pair of briefs and went to see what was happening. Clara was sat on James’ bed poking him and refusing to go back to bed because it was light and so must be time to get up.
“Hey poppet,” I smiled warmly, walking over and sitting alongside her on the bed trying very hard not to dwell on the fact that James was so obviously naked under the very flimsy sheet. “If I tell you a story will you go back to sleep? It’s much too early to get up, gorgeous.”
“Story?” she asked excitedly, becoming very animated and her beautiful face glowing in anticipation. “What story?”
“A story about a little bear called JDB – JD Bear, who has very special powers and can make people happy when they have been sad.”
“JDB,” she mused, her clever little mind ticking over. “Like Uncle James! He a JDB.”
“So he is!” I smiled, pinching her nose as she climbed onto my knee for a cuddle.
After a few minutes cuddling she moved onto the bed, and slid onto the floor. “K’ then, come on,” she grinned, holding out her hand for me, and then she proceeded to lead me to her bedroom, where Mathilda was also awake. “Karen telling stories,” Clara informed Mathilda who also beamed in delight.
“You’ve done it now!” sniggered James watching from the doorway, now dressed in some boxers.
Wondering what I had let myself in for, I tucked both children up in their beds, making sure that they weren’t too hot and that they had a drink of water to hand if they woke up thirsty. I then improvised a story and it wasn’t long before they were both fast asleep again.

“You have the knack,” James grinned, pulling me into his warm torso for a cuddle, after I’d shut the bedroom door a little behind us.
“Thank you.”
“Care to come and tell me a story?” His voice was deep and husky; hell he was sexy, so sexy, and his eyes sparkled and teased.
“I think that you’re old enough to manage without stories, don’t you?”
“If ever there was a time when that were true,” he observed, “you would be without a career my sweet.”
“Point taken,” I conceded. “Only if you promise to behave though.”
“I promise you that I won’t do anything that you don’t like,” he giggled impishly. “However, I must warn you that I like to be cuddled when I’m being told a bed time story.”
“Don’t push your luck.” I couldn’t help but smile as his infamous sad-puppy dog look crossed over him and he did his best to appear highly offended. “Bed! I’m not telling you a story out here.”

Once in the room he dispensed with his boxers without hesitation, standing proudly in front of me for several seconds, daring me to gaze downward. I didn’t however and after tutting, he climbed into his bed and covered himself with the sheet. I sat on the other side of the bed and proceeded to make up a very childish story.
“I protest,” he proclaimed.
“Why?”
“You’re hardly paying me any attention and you’re definitely not cuddling me.” To appease him a little I settled down on the bed, propping the pillows behind me so that I wasn’t completely flat. “So I’ll have to cuddle you will I? No matter; t-shirt off!”
I tried swatting his hands away but he was too persistent, and he was soon twirling my t-shirt triumphantly above my head. “I told you to behave!” I castigated him.
“Honey you can’t have a decent cuddle in bed with clothes on,” he twittered, “besides it’s not like I’ve not seen you naked is it?”
I recalled how he had made me say ‘honey’ to him last time; time and time again, each time I had said it huskier and more and more seductively. It had turned us both on.
“Close your eyes and try to go to sleep,” I stammered, a little flustered, continuing with the story.
He started off by behaving and closed his eyes, keeping his hands on the top of the sheet. Gradually however, he edged closer and closer until his head was resting on my chest, and an arm draped over my stomach, teasing me with his fleeting butterfly touches that made me catch my breath. Part of me wanted to tell him off, but a larger part of me didn’t want to put up any resistance. I completely caved in to him when he started nuzzling on one of my breasts, a hand kneading the other one.
“James please,” I gasped breathlessly, closing my eyes and growing lost in the joy he was provoking in me.
“Yes baby?” he mumbled, still suckling on me.
“You are not playing fair.” I tried to protest but it came out rather weakly, and the fact that I was sliding down the bed did nothing to add any conviction either.

“I promised not to do anything that you didn’t like,” he smirked nonchalantly, “only you do like it don’t you Karen?”
“Yes.” My response was barely audible.
“You like it when I do this…” Again he suckled at my breast, more eagerly this time.
“Yes.” Again, barely audible.
“You like it when I do this…” His fingertips teased my stomach and then agonisingly slowly, moved lower and lower.
“Yes,” I mouthed, but no sound escaped.
“I didn’t hear you.”
“Yes.”
“Louder.”
“Yes,” I answered, turning in to his body. “Yes, I like it very much.”
A victorious smirk appeared on his beautiful lips. “I had rather hoped that you would,” he said softly. “Do you like this?”
I gasped and closed my eyes, burrowing my head back into the curve of his shoulder as his nimble fingers delicately rubbed and stroked me between my thighs. I had no voice and it took everything I had to be able to nod a yes to him, I was so overwhelmed at the way he made me feel. He said no more, and although I couldn’t see, I was acutely aware of him studying my reactions to his touches with interest. All I could do was murmur and moan as my body twitched and throbbed with a tormented pleasure that I had never experienced previously.
“Don’t fight it,” James lovingly whispered, the swirling heat concentrating in one place and the tension building up, ready for its inevitable release.
“James I…” I started to stammer, raising my hips off the bed as the cyclone of tension finally hit me; his mouth capturing the ‘James’ that I shrieked. As I slowly recovered, James continued to kiss me, his hands holding me gently, soothing my sensitive skin.
“Time for you to sleep,” he said sweetly, guiding me into a cuddle so that my head nestled upon his chest.
With a satisfied whimper I snuggled in to him and fell asleep.

At 7.22 am the girls woke us by jumping on the bed and giggling.
“Shush,” I said playfully. “Uncle James is an old man and gets grumpy if he doesn’t get enough sleep.” James flashed a glance of disgust but soon began laughing when Clara and Mathilda hugged him to apologise.
James then showered and dressed whilst I helped the girls get dressed and ready. Thankfully the previous night, Sean & Rhian and also Nicky & Rachel had brought extra clothes for the girls in case they got dirty whilst playing, so I was able to put those on them. By the time they were washed and dressed, James came through to take them down to breakfast.
“You seem tired,” James murmured sympathetically. “Why don’t you go back to bed for a couple of hours?”
“I’m fine,” I smiled, recalling part of the reason for my tiredness.
“Back to bed, go on,” he insisted, patting my backside. “I’ll make sure that the girls are quiet for you.”
“You sure that you don’t mind?”
“Go on!” he said, tapping my arse harder and kissing my forehead. “Go get some sleep.”

Clara and Mathilda watched our interaction with a gaze of rapped fascination on their cute little faces; when I said I would see them later because I was going back to bed, they both seemed very sad.
“What’s wrong with my princesses?” I asked, stroking their hair.
“We wanted a story,” said Mathilda glumly.
“Tell you what,” I said, hugging them both. “When I get up I will tell you a few stories how’s that?”
Both girls grinned and said yes. They grabbed James’ hands and skipped down the corridor with him until they reached the stairs, where they stopped, and very slowly and carefully, made their way down; all the while holding tightly on to James’ hands.

“Morning sexy,” I whispered nibbling on James’ left earlobe whilst the two girls played.
“Morning sexy yourself,” he grinned, guiding me round to sit on his knee, kissing me passionately. “Feel better for the extra few hours sleep?”
“That’s one reason for my feeling good this morning,” I answered coyly. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” James smiled, his lips then teasing my neck. “I enjoyed it too.”
Surprised at his comment I said; “but you didn’t get anything out of it.”
“I got a great deal out of it, Karen.” He then checked that the girls hadn’t got close enough to hear us and whispered, “I got such a big hard on watching you cum.”
I’d been so wrapped up in myself and had never given James or his desires a second thought. “You must have been so frustrated, I’m sorry, it was so selfish of me.” As much as I had enjoyed last night, it was certainly complicating matters.
James hugged me firmly with his strong arms, rubbing his nose against mine. “That was the idea,” he said sweetly. “I wanted you to have something that was all about you and your happiness.”
“Softy.”
“Yeah, I know.” I couldn’t resist his boyish charm and grin, and dipped my head, slipping my tongue in his mouth as we kissed.
“Aww look,” giggled two little voices.
James and I smiled at one another shyly. “I hope that you girls have been good for your Uncle James.”
“Always!” they chimed in unison. For all I had only known them for a short while, these girls made my heart melt. They were utterly captivating and delightful.
“Maybe we’ll have our own someday,” offered James. “You’re a natural, they love you.” When he said that both girls blushed and nodded, and I returned their smiles with interest.
“Right then,” I said, standing up suddenly. “Story time.”

Rachel, Nicky, Sean and Rhian stayed for lunch with us because the girls didn’t want to go home straight away, when their parents arrived.
“I’m not sure what you’ve done to them but you can have them more often!” Nicky chirped, Sean nodding in agreement.
“They’ve been little angels,” I answered truthfully. “Really, they’ve been a joy to have around.”
“Are you sure that this is my daughter you’re talking about?” queried Rhian and I laughed with her.
“Positive,” I said, “but you know that they’re both in love with Uncle James so it’s little wonder that they’re so good.”

That evening we went to the pictures and then popped in to the pub for a drink before heading back. It was such a warm and sticky night that we decided to sit in the garden and have a night-cap.
“I know we said that we were never going to talk about HER again,” James sighed heavily, shifting uneasily in his chair, “but how come she asked you to finish the bloody book? I mean, what made her think that she wouldn’t be able to?”
Good question! Of course I knew the answer to that now, but they didn’t. They had merely been informed that it was her final request and that I was honouring it. So I told him about the need for an emergency operation and explained that that was when she died.
“There’s something else that you’re not telling me isn’t there Karen?”
I took a deep breath and a large gulp of whiskey. “After she died I was informed that she had terminal cancer and would have died soon anyway,” I said heavily. “They had an inquest because of the accident; no one else was involved, she wasn’t drunk and it was a beautiful clear day, on a long straight stretch of road.”
“You think she took her own life?” His expression was one of sheer confusion, I don’t think James knew quite how to react.
“I’m sure that was the plan, though it was classified as an open verdict. She told me that she started writing book, and promised to show me what she had written every step of the way, and she asked if I would help with some research and write a bit about Richey and what he meant to me. Subsequently I learned that she started work on the book a week after being told she had terminal cancer.”

“Why do that when it would obviously mean that you would discover the truth?”
“I think that that is precisely why James,” I shrugged. “A final act of redemption if you like, so she could pass with a clear conscience, giving us the opportunity of building bridges and healing rifts.”
He rocked in his chair, swirling his whiskey in the glass; “Do you think she was genuinely remorseful?”
“In my own way, yes I do.” My eyes met his and I knew that he was sceptical, not that I could blame him. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still bitter about what she did because she fucked us all up one way or another, but sometimes I just get to thinking about it, and you know I can almost understand; only almost. This book was meant to be her final goodbye. I’d just rather she had been honest with me whilst she was still alive, but I guess she was too much of a coward in many ways.”

He nursed his whiskey and contemplated the theories I had expressed.
“You could have stopped working on the book as soon as she died,” he mused. “Then we would never have had the opportunity to set things right would we?”
“Perhaps that’s why she survived the car crash; so she could get me to promise her I’d do it. Things tend to happen for a reason.”
Without raising his head he glanced at me from heavy eyes; “Sounds like you’ve forgiven her.”
“Oh I’m not sure that that’s the right word James. I just want to live my life and not have to worry about unwelcome surprises anymore.” I knew that he wanted to talk some more but I could also tell from his expression that this particular conversation was closed for now, so we began talking about the film and compared the actor’s performance to other parts that he’d played.

“You ready for bed too?” he asked sweetly, taking my empty glass with him.
“Yeah,” I muttered following him inside and going upstairs whilst he secured all the doors and set the alarm.
He found me in my bed.
“Explain to me why I shouldn’t be offended,” he demanded, almost swinging the door off its hinges. “You were more than ok about sharing my bed this morning.”
“I think it’s better that we keep temptation as far away as possible, don’t you?”
“What you mean is that you still don’t want to share my bed or make love with me,” he spat venomously, “strange that you didn’t complain earlier.”

How the hell did I always manage to make things worse than they were, I asked myself.

“James honey, I’m not complaining now,” I moaned in exasperation, furious with myself for antagonising him so needlessly; mind you, he hadn’t exactly asked why had he?
“I don’t fucking get you, you know, just…. ARGH!”
I flinched when his fist made contact with the wall with the most almighty thud. Him and his macho shit!
“James!” I cried throwing off the sheet and charging across to check his fist, not in the least bit perturbed by my nakedness. I brushed my lips against his grazed knuckles. “I really do wish you’d stop with all this macho crap.”
“Very sympathetic.”
I couldn’t help it, his sad little boy act made me giggle and I had a hard time shielding it from him; it made him even more appealing, if that were possible. “Erm James, it’s a wall,” I uttered more than a touch flippantly, “ ergo – it’s going to fucking hurt if you hit it.”
“Smart arse!”
“Stop being obnoxious and kiss me.”

I stopped him in his tracks. For a few moments he stared at me; stunned and confused. I’d caught him off guard and he didn’t know how to react, but then his arms reached out for me, and his mouth was hungrily upon mine, his tongue forcefully entering my mouth. This was the first time he had kissed me so roughly, and I couldn’t stop myself from responding to it, his urgency driving me higher.
“I-don’t-under-stand-you,” he panted between his demanding kisses.
“This is why I can’t sleep with you James,” I whimpered into his ear. “The sensible side of me goes hurtling out of control and I’m scared of what will happen.”
“I’ll show you how much I love you is what will happen.”
“Do you have condoms?”
“No, you’re on the pill aren’t you?” he asked, puzzled.
“No James, I’m not,” I answered stopping him in his tracks. “I’ve tried every pill there is. None of them suit me; nor do the implants or the injection.”
Disappointment was evident in his eyes, a swirling mass of brown and black confusion. “What about the coil, or the…what is it…I.U.D?”
“No-go’s. I have to rely on the man wearing a condom; it’s a great way of making men run a mile.”
“I just assumed…” Rather cutely he blushed a wonderful shade of dark pink. “I’m sorry.”

Nervously I giggled, and held him closer. “If I could trust myself with you it wouldn’t be so bad, but this morning proves we can’t be trusted.”
“What about if we both keep our underwear on?”
“Underwear can soon be taken off,” I winked.
“Guess, who’ll be going shopping tomorrow,” he winked dangerously, and I had to giggle with him because he was so cute when he flashed that ‘flirty’ glance of his.
“Until tomorrow then,” I answered him mischievously, giving him the briefest of kisses on his cheek. “However I don’t recall actually saying that you would be able to use them if you bought them.”
“You wouldn’t be so cruel.”
“I wouldn’t call it cruel.”
“I would.” He pretended to sulk and gave me a glimpse at his pet-lip.
“Obviously we have different definitions of cruelty then,” I teased. “Think of it as character building.”
“Nope, it’s torture.”
“James stop being so melodramatic.”
“I’m not,” he moaned, complete with puppy dog eyes and quivering lip, his fingertips tormenting my skin with the merest of touches.

All too soon he was guiding me onto the bed and driving me insane with his kisses.

Part 3 >>>

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