"Hey, fur-face! Get over here and help with the work." A few of the other kids laughed as Trici slowly walked over. She began clenching and unclenching her fists, trying to control a rampaging temper.
"Call me that again and you will regret it." She never lifted her voice above a whisper, but the tone left no doubt that the threat was valid.
Unfortunately, this holder's kid didn't seem to get it. "What? Fur-face? But that's what you are. A freaky fur-faced feline!"
Trici growled low in her throat, spread her fingers, and claws, and without warning raked them across the kids chest. Within seconds the fight was over, Trici the obvious victor. The kid and his friend's ran away, leaving the 6 turn girl alone. She smiled to herself and sat down, much in the same way a feline does. She twitched her nose, much in the same way a feline does. She began licking her claws, much in the same way a feline does. The other kids her age teased her because she looked much the same way as a feline does.
* * * "Trici!" The Lord Holder was actuallly mad enough over her fight with his youngest son that he'd bothered to come all the way down here to bang on her mother's door. "Open up Falsa! I know you and your freak of a daughter are in there!"
Trici sighed and walked carefully into her mother's room. "Mommy?" She whispered quietly. "Are you awake?"
The woman sighed and stood up. "I am now Trici. Stand up."
The cat-like girl had entered the room on all fours, walking like she normally did when no one else was around. Standing on two feet was a pain, but she did it for her mother. "Mommy." She repeated as she stood up. "The Lord Holder is here to see you."
"Really?" Falsa was a nice person, but she was absolutely clueless sometimes. There was no way should could have missed the gossip about Trici's fight, it was all over the Hold! "Whatever could he want?"
"I don't know mommy." Trici followed her mother into the main room, dropping to all fours again.
"Trici! Stand up." The girl stood again as her mother answered the door. "Yes Lord Holder?"
The man glared at the partially insane older woman. "Your daughter is a nuisance! She attacked my son!"
"Come now Lord Holder, you can't be serious. Trici is only a harmless girl of 6 turns. Your son is almost 12. How could she have hurt him?" Falsa stepped out of the doorway so the Lord Holder could see Trici crouched on the floor, whiskers quivering, tail twitching.
"She's a freak!" The Lord Holder finally blurted out, giving voice to his opinion of the girl and her interesting appearence. "Look at her!"
Falsa turned, examined her daughter, and then turned back to the Lord Holder. "I don't see anything wrong with her."
The Lord Holder was extremly frustrated and grabbed her shoulder. He spun her around violently to face Trici. "Do you really think that's normal? The colouration? That fur? Those whiskers? That tail?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about Lord Holder." Falsa sighed. "Although a 6 turn girl is old enough to stand up."
Trici stood again. The sad part was that her mother wasn't trying to annoy the Lord Holder, or make her daughter feel better. Falsa honestly couldn't see anything that seperated her daughter's appearence from everyone else in the Hold. Well, Trici thought. Couldn't see or wouldn't see.
The Lord Holder finally seemed to realize this. He spun the woman around and stared deep into her semi-glossy eyes. He sighed and shook his head. "I can't take much more of you two." He shook his head, fearing for his own sanity, being so close to two nuts and all. "If problems persist I'm taking Trici away from you Falsa. That's that." He turned and left, still shaking his head.
Falsa shut the door and smiled at her daughter. "Let's go down to the kitchen's and see if we can't make cookies."
Trici smiled. "Yes mommy."
* * * "She's utterly insane!" The Lord Holder was speaking to the other leaders of the Hold. "She is honestly out of it!"
"Yes," The harper added. "That much is obvious, but must we take Trici away from her? Faranth knows that the child had no friends or other family as it is. Falsa is the only person she has."
"But Falsa isn't taking care of her." The Lady Holder added. "What good is the cat-child getting from the relationship if her mother refuses to raise her properly. If she can't learn to cope in the Hold she will have to leave to."
"Would that be such a bad thing?" The Lord Holder's eldest son, brother to Trici's 'victim', added calmly. "She is a nuisance."
"No!" The Harper added sharply. "Faranth only knows what Falsa did to birthe a child half-feline, but that is not Trici's fault. If you are going to remove Falsa, leave the child with me."
"Yes. I'm in favour of that idea." The Lady Holder nodded. "Just because my sons can't see past her outside doesn't mean we adults can't."
"It's settled than." The Lord Holder agreed. "Falsa is insane. She will be removed."
* * * Trici smiled as she picked the last of the cookie crubs from her fur. "You're the best cook ever mommy." The small half-feline was crouching on a large pillow as her mother pulled another batch of cookies out of the oven.
"No I'm not precious, but I'm glad you like the cookies." Falsa pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and discarded the oven mitts. She handed one of the fresh cookies to her only daughter. "Are these as good?"
Trici continued smiling as she devoured the treat. "Yes mommy. Just as good."
The older woman laughed, making Trici laugh. The 6 turn child wasn't sure why, but things always seemed good when she was around her mother. Even the Lord Holder's son and his insults faded from her mind as she picked sugary crumbs from her whiskers.
Falsa stroked her daughter's hair. "You are going to be a very beautiful lady one day precious."
Trici blushed. "No I'm not mommy."
"Why would you say that?" Falsa couldn't understand.
"They don't like me." Trici crouched down into a feline-sitting position. "They think I'm weird."
"You're not weird, love." Falsa stood her daughter up. "You are a beautiful young girl, and one day, men will flock to marry you."
A small childs beliefs are easily swayed by a confident mother. "Really momma?"
"Of course!" Falsa laughed and picked Trici up. She swung her around once or twice before leaving her resting on the counter. "And you'll wear beautiful clothes and jewellery and you can choose the handsomest man in all of Pern for your husband." She put a dab of flour on her daughter's nose.
Trici laughed and licked it off. "I wish I was beautiful like you mommy."
"Don't ever say that precious." Falsa leaned in close, resting her own forehead on Trici's. "You are more beautiful than me. I have plain brown hair and eyes while you have beautiful blond hair and green eyes. You are a vision of lovliness."
"But I look like a cat momma!" Trici couldn't help herself.
Falsa smiled at her. "A new game? Are we all felines?" She tickled Trici until the child's sides hurt with laughter. "You are so creative for one so young! You shall be a Harper Journeywoman one day." Falsa smiled. "My daughter a journeywoman." She took a cookie, drew a journeywoman's knot on it in icing and gave it to Trici.
Trici smiled and ate it quickly, her mother always made her forget that she was different. "Or a jockey!" She loved to just sit and watch the runners sometimes, longing for that kind of speed with the fickle heart of a child.
"Yes!" Falsa agreed happily. "Whatever your heart desires Trici, you will be. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently." Falsa threw her arms around her child. "I'll love you always Trici."
"I know mommy." Trici smiled, fears and doubts banished for one evening at least. "I'll love you always too mommy."
* * * The next morning, the Lord Holder, Lady Holder and Harper came to take Falsa away.
The light knock woke Trici, even though she was sleeping in another room, another door away. Her large feline ears augmented her hearing and she jumped from her bed and ran to the door. She remembered to stand up before answering it.
She smiled at the group of officials, still happy from her mother's encouraging words the night before. "Hello!" She beamed brightly up at the three, whiskers quivering happily. "Mommy's still asleep and I was good so you can go."
The Harper and Lady Holder smiled, but the Lord Holder retained his frown. "We must talk to Falsa child. Go get her."
Trici could almost sense that trouble was coming. Her ears, that had been perked happily up, fell and her tail twitched. "She's sleeping." Trici wanted to drop to all fours, she felt safer that way, but for the sake of her mother, she didn't.
"Wake her." The Lord Holder demanded.
Trici slowly walked into her mothers room and climbed onto the bed. She licked her mother's face affectionately. "Mommy. The Lord Holder is here to see you."
Falsa yawned and opened her eyes slowly. "Really precious? What does he want?"
Trici began to purr, something she'd learned to do only a few days ago. She knew her mother didn't like it, but it made her feel happy and bubbly inside, and she needed some of that right now. "You."
Falsa sighed and stretched, patting her daughter on the head as she left to talk to the men and woman. Trici followed, halting her purring and remembering to stand on two feet, not four. She saw the Lord Holder grab her mother's arm, she saw the Lady Holder pat her mother's hand, she saw them lead her mother off, and she never saw her mother again.
* * * "Really child. You have to eat something." The Harper sighed, exasperated at trying to care for the cat-child.
Trici hissed at him, something she'd never done before. Her tail was puffed out, her ears flattened back against her head, and her back was arched as she continued to growl and hiss at the older man she'd only ever seen once or twice before. The 6 turn child didn't understand why she'd been taken to his lodgings, she didn't understand why she was still there, and she didn't understand why her mother wasn't back yet. She was scared.
The Harper sighed. It had been almost four days since Falsa's 'disappearence' and Trici hadn't eaten anything. "Aren't you hungry girl?" He held his hand out towards her. She bit it. He pulled his hand back quickly and glared at her. Trici continued to growl and hiss if he got near. The Harper got an ingenious idea. "What would your mother say if she was here?"
Trici stopped growling suddenly and slowly stood up. She stared sadly at the Harper. "Is that why she hasn't come back? I'll be good if she'll come back."
"Listen girl." The Harper felt sorry for her, but his pity was diminished by the fact that he was bleeding from the hand. "Falsa was sick. She's being treated."
"She'll come back when she's healthy again?" Trici hopefully asked the question. "When she's not sick?" Her tail curled around her leg.
"Maybe." The Harper grabbed a rag and bound his wound. "Now eat."
Trici climbed onto the chair and crouched like a cat. She felt safer when she acted that way. She bent her head and lapped at the soup. She knew the Harper was watching her oddly. Without looking up at him, Trici proved she was more attentive than most 6 turn children. "They took mommy away because she didn't know that I was a cat."
The Harper, too shocked by the child's declaration to lie, confirmed Trici's fears.
Trici continued to look down at her food. The Harper didn't notice that she was crying into it.
* * * They took mommy away because she didn't know that I was a cat... Trici continued to cry after the Harper had put her to bed. If I was normal, mommy wouldn't be sick. She continued to sob. Why can't I be normal? Like all the other hold kids? An idea came to her, and she quieted her crying. If the ears, tail, fur, and whiskers made her not normal, she'd remove them. Than mommy would come back. It was all so simple, even a 6 turn child could grasp it.
On all fours, she sneaked out of the room the Harper had given her and into the Harper's workroom. The windows of the room were flung open to a warm breeze, but clouds covered the moons and stars. Anyone else would have been blind, Trici could see. She crept along the floor, towards the Harper's workbench and opened it. It smelled like wood, and Trici sniffed it for a while, enjoying the scent that her accute sense of smell could pick up. She lifted a carving knife, meant for carving wood into instruments. It smelled nice too, like sap and living things. Trici licked it once, and cut her tongue. She whimpered quietly, wondering what possesed her to lick it. She crouched on the Harper's stool and lifted the knife to one of her over-sized feline ears. The knife hurt as it pricked her skin and Trici's hand shook until she dropped the knife with a clang. She froze, waiting for the Harper to come in and send her back to bed, but he never came. The workroom was empty of life. She lifted the knife to her ear again and closed her eyes. Mommy, I can be normal. The knife sliced through flesh.
* * * "By the first golden egg girl!" The Harper raced into the workshop many hours later. Trici lifted her head, then let it fall, too weak with loss of blood to hold it up. She whimpered and shuddered. The Harper ran to her side and lifted her in his arms. Her blood was everywhere. "Why?"
"I...I wanted...to...be...normal..." Trici was slowly loosing consiousness.
The Harper swore again and raced off to the Healer. "Just live Trici, please just live."
* * * Trici hurt all over. Her outside's stung from a million little cuts that she'd placed there herself, and her inside's hurt from lack of food and lonliness. She lay in her bed at the Healer's and wailed.
"Please stop that." The cat-child jumped three feet in the air when the Harper spoke. "Did I startle you? I'm sorry."
"I didn't see you." Trici pouted, tears still in her eyes.
"Sorry." The Harper put his hand under her chin and lifted her face to the light. "You look much better."
"I look normal?" Trici looked at him hopefully.
"No. You look more like you used to and less like a piece of butchered wherry meat." The Harper smiled at her.
"Oh." Her ears fell again.
The Harper stroked her hair. "Why did you do that Trici?"
"I wanted to be normal."
"Why?"
"'Cuz then mommy will come back."
The Harper sighed. "Trici, Falsa became sick because she was too weak to deal with the fact that you're not normal. You're special. You're like no one else I've ever seen."
"But I want to be normal!" She began to cry again.
"Don't say that! Never say that you want to be something other than what you are. You're only a little kid Trici, there is a lot you don't understand. You don't understand why different is good."
Trici sniffled as she tried to stop her sobs. "How? It made mommy leave."
"It did not make your mother leave. Falsa made herself leave by refusing to deal with your condition. She was weak. You must be strong Trici. You must be strong enough to turn what you believe is a disadvantage into an advantage." The Harper stopped as he realized that he'd lost the child. "Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror Trici?"
"No." She began to lick her left hand. It hurt horribly and the bandages were itchy.
The Harper helped her to stand and brought her to stand in front of a full length looking glass. For the first time, Trici saw how different she really was. She had large ears covered in white fur that stuck out from a mass of platinum blond hair. The ears could convey her emotions, perked up when she was happy or interested, flattened when she was mad, and turned downwards when she was sad. The smooth fur that covered the ears also covered her face, with it's cat-like eyes and nose. Long whiskers spread from beside her nose and curved in a wide arc towards her shoulders. Her mouth was realtively human, if one ignored the fangs. Her torso was longer and her legs were shorter than a human child her age, and her arms were overly long. Although it made her look out of proportion when she was standing, she found it much easier to walk on four legs than a human would. Her entire body was covered with soft white fur to the tip of her tail. She looked down at her hands. Her fingers were shorter than most people's by quite a bit, and her thumb didn't move as far as it should. She had no nails, but when angry claws made a deadly appearence. She looked farther down her body. Her legs were also mishapen if you were comparing her to a normal human. Her knees were higher than they should be, along with her ankles. She walked on her tip-toes, like a feline, and her feet were small and shaped like paws. Her tiny feet made it hard for her to balance on two feet, unless she was leaning on something, or balancing with her tail. She crouched down in front of the mirror and cocked her head.
Her ears were now cut and slashed as well as her tail and her left hand. They'd probably scar.
"So?" The Harper wondered what she thought of her appearence.
"How could mommy not notice?" She pawed at the mirror.
"That's the point Trici. Your mother didn't want a cat for a child, so her mind refused to admit your appearence. I like you just the way you are. You're stronger than your mother Trici. You can live like this. You can thrive."
"But I'm a cat." She felt the tears returning.
"No, you're not." The Harper reached into his pack and removed a small kitten. The kitten meowed once or twice and pawed at his hand. It had a brown back and tail with a white stomach. "This is a cat Trici. It's not like you. It's not a smart as you are. It can't talk, or walk on two feet, or cry. It doesn't care what people think of it, as long as it gets fed." The kitten meowed and bit the Harpers finger.
Trici smiled and pet the kitten. "He's pretty."
"He's yours. To remind you that he's a cat and you're not." The Harped handed her the kitten.
Trici wasn't sure if she believed him, but he did seem nice. He liked her even though she was a freak. She rubbed her head against his leg and purred. "I'm going to call him Tars." Realizing what she was doing, she quickly stopped purring and stood up.
The Harper smiled. "Act as feline-like as you want Trici. I'm not going to stop you from being who you are. Purr, walk on all fours, growl, meow, I don't care, as long as you're happy."
Trici meowed happily and rubbed her head against the Harper's stomach. "You're not scared? Mommy told me that scared people."
"I'm not scared." He rubbed her head. "Let's go home."
Trici continued purring. "Okay, mister."
"You can call me Elayon. Everyone else does." The Harper opened the door for her.
She nuzzled her nose against the kitten's. "Okay."
"And Trici," Elayon smiled. "If any of the other kids give you any more trouble, feel free to kick their butts."
10 turns later...
* * *
Tars' picture is from White River Weyr.
Background from Myrror Images.
