Pain
In the quiet of the night
I close my eyes
Willing my body and mind
To vanish within
The promise of blissful escape
That comes only with the slumber
Which has eluded me for so long
So long, that I fail to recall a time
When peace reigned inside my spirit
No matter how desperate I've become
The peace refuses to enter
And I am left in chaos
A chaos that spills into my blood
Infecting me with the endless disease
Of maddening paranoia
As the clock turns the stroke of midnight
I feel it
I feel the insanity
Driving its way into my heart
And the pain
Real physical agony
A burning knife of fear
A brutal fire
That slices through my living organs
The cloak of sadness
Which is now my nightly partner
Returns to choke me
A force more powerful than ever
I struggle to breathe
But my body is unable to retain
A single breath
My eyes fill with brimming tears
That will not fall
They cannot
The monster who has taken control
Forbids me to show weakness
I tell myself, all I need is time
Time will set me free
It is a lie
The beast continues to devour me
Time? I haven't any
The sadness has an insasoinable
I yearn to cry out for help
I know the words
But I cannot speak them
I haven't a voice
A creeping numbness falls over me
But it brings no relief
Only increasing pain and fear
Yet I know
I shall not die
For death would release me
Into that sweet peace that I so crave
Something this wretched creature
Would never allow
For it lives on one purpose
One reason to posses me
It has dragged me down
Into the blackish depths of hell
Where it feeds upon my wounded soul
And kills all the happy delusions
That I had once known
So I will live on
With this demon of despair
While my hope, my future suffers
Of torment that is a bottomless grave
A never-ending cycle
Of inconceivable torture.
This is how it is
And how it forever shall be
The unspeakable things
That go on inside of me.