Who invented the store bought version?
Who else? Kraft. Jim Morton has put the entire story of Boxed Macaroni & Cheese on line.
How many boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese are bought each day?
Two million! Visit the Kraft Interactive Kitchen to bask in their glory. Kraft also has a special Macaroni & Cheese page.
What other countries eat macaroni and cheese?
Only our neighbor to the north, Canada, also eats macaroni and cheese. In fact it is quite popular there. They call it "Kraft Dinner."
Is anyone making an effort to bring the goodness of macaroni and cheese to less developed countries?
Kraft has been trying to introduce the Dominican Republic to boxed macaroni and cheese, hoping it will someday replace rice and beans as a staple food. I'm not sure how the effort is going, so if you're from the Dominican Republic or have visited there recently, please drop me a line.
Details
What are the most common design elements on store-brand boxes of macaroni and cheese?
A bowl full of macaroni, floating in space
The absence of any human hand, face, or presence
A spoon or fork stuck in from the right side of the box
The words "serving suggestion" even when nothing has been done to the food
I like to buy Annie's brand of macaroni and cheese, because she owns a rabbit. Is Annie a force for good or for evil?
I can't say for sure, but am beginning to suspect Annie is just another huckster. She's raking in about $1.50 a box, which is four times more than it ought to cost, and is hawking her own 30-page book for $12.95. She seems to seize on every possible eco-tie-in, from Free Willy to scholarships. I had a rabbit myself once; it didn't ever make pasta.
Does the scope of your collection include so-called "deluxe" versions, with pre-made goopy cheese in a bag or a can?
I have only allowed two exceptional versions into the collection: Kraft, because it's the Ur-brand; and Land O'Lakes, because it's a product from a butter company that manages not to contain any butter.
Is macaroni and cheese usually eaten by people in a ritualistic fashion, albeit a highly idiosyncratic ritual developed over time by each person in isolation?
Yes. Please send me your exact recipe.
Why do the instructions usually tell you to boil the pasta for up to twelve minutes? Is that why the Italians think we are crazy, for eating soggy pasta?
Yes. Here I make my vain plea to strive for quality, not quantity, when boiling your macaroni.
Are there any other macaroni and cheese Web pages?
A very nice mac and cheese page that is linked to mine is run by Topher, who as far as I can tell is still in elementary school. If so, he is the best Web Monkey in fourth grade. Check out Topher's Great Macaroni and Cheese Page.
I have also joined the Kraft Dinner Worship Ring, along with about three other people, mostly from Canada. For a list of "all" the ring members, click here.
What my site does with visuals, the site Queen Durum, "where cheese is the color of that spandex stripe on bike shorts," does with words. I love this author. Really. BUT IN A PLATONIC WAY BECAUSE NOW I LOVE MO PIE.
General Questions
Have you ever added cinnamon and sugar to your bowl of cooked macaroni and cheese?
Only once. It was pretty good, actually. That variant comes from small children in Kansas.
In what large-circulation magazines and newspapers have you been featured?
The San Jose Mercury News wrote about my page on February 5, 1999, and posted the same article to their Mercury Center Web site, a day later, under a different name, and with a different layout.
The most comprehensive coverage, though, is from an e-mail interview with me that was published in the November 1998 issue of "Canada's computer information source," The Computer Paper.
When are you going to open your own museum?
That sounds neater on paper than it would be in reality.
How can I, a mere individual, contribute to the Generic Macaroni and Cheese Box Gallery? Especially when even voting in general elections doesn't really make a difference?
By checking the stores in your area, or the next time you travel, against the complete list, and donating any new boxes to the Gallery, for posterity.
Should I e-mail you even if I have nothing to say beyond "hey, your Web page is cool; I like to eat macaroni and cheese too"?
Yes, and you will get extra points for correctly using a semicolon.
Why do you do this?
*^%&^%*%
Do you own lots of promotional watches as well?
You bet.
Is macaroni and cheese in a box tasty?
The answer varies from person to person.
Will you go out with clever people who send you e-mail admiring your macaroni and cheese box obsession?
It's worked before!
What Web pages have links to yours?
There are many, many sites that link to mine. Here are some of my favorite:
I get more hits from The Stinky Artists' Collective than I do from any other site, excluding Yahoo.
My second-biggest source of hits is from I Should Be Working and its page of silly food links, including my page.
That's right, Ernie's House of Whoop Ass, formerly bertandernie.com, added a link to me in February of 1999 for their Website Wednesday archives.
My most unexpected fans are Gary and Jodi, of garyandjodi's Home Page. They live "IN THE POCONO MOUNTAINS OF PENNSYLVANIA" and also like hummingbirds. As you view their all-cap page, you will be soothed by a MIDI file of "Can't Help Falling in Love."
The Uselessness of Food and Drink considers my site useless. I'll show them!
My most mysterious fan doesn't have a link to me, just a reference, unless she's updated her Moments of Blue page, which she was supposed to do in November, but hasn't yet.
Whoever runs MISCMEDIA.COM: Things I Like apparently likes my page.
My site also shows up on some random sites, including the Magic Lighthouse, have you ever been to Vegas?, and MISCMEDIA.COM.
What box do you wish you had most?
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The Kraft elephant-shaped "Republican" and donkey-shaped "Democrat" boxes from the 1996 Presidential conventions. Macaroni and cheese is one thing everyone can agree on!
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