Buffy: Willow! Willow, hey, wait up! (reaches her)
Willow: Oh, Buffy, I didn't even see you.
Buffy: Or hear me. What was up last night? I tried your line, like, a million times.
Willow: Oh, I was, I was talking.
Buffy: Talking to...? (no answer) Okay, that's it, you have a secret, and that's not allowed.
Willow: Why not? (opens her locker)
Buffy: 'Cause... there's a rule.
Willow: Well, I sort of met someone.
Buffy: I knew it! This is so important! When did you meet?
Willow: Last week after we did the scanning project in the library?
Buffy: Does he go here? What's his name? Have you kissed him? What's he like?
Willow: No, Malcolm, no, and very nice.
Buffy: You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away!
Willow: Well, I wasn't sure there was anything to tell. But last night, oh! We talked all night, it was amazing. He's so smart, Buffy, and, and he's romantic, and we agree about everything!
Buffy: (sighs) What's he look like?
Willow: I don't know!
Buffy: So, you've been seeing a guy, and you don't know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?
Willow: I met him on-line.
Buffy: On line for what? (Willow points to a computer) Oh!

Willow: He's so sweet!
Buffy: (nods) He's a sweetie. (smiles nervously)
Willow: What should I write back?
Buffy: Uh, Willow, I think it's really great that you have this cool pen pal, but don't you think you're kinda rushing all into this? Y'know what I mean?
Willow: 'I'm thinking of you, too!' No, that's incredibly stupid!
Buffy: Will, down girl! Let's focus here, okay? What do you actually know about this guy?
Willow: Oh, see, I knew you'd react like this.
Buffy: Like what? I just wanna make sure you're careful, that's all.
Willow: Buffy...
Buffy: He could be different than you think.

Willow: His name is Malcolm Black, he's eighteen, he lives in Elmwood, which is about eighty miles from here, and he likes me!
Buffy: Short, tall, skinny, fat?
Willow: Why does everything have to be about looks?
Buffy: Not everything, but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out that he... has... a hairy back?
Willow: (Willow's eyes widen) Well, no! Uh, he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back. And anyways, that stuff doesn't matter when you really care about each other. Maybe I'm not his ideal either.
Buffy: Hey, I'm just trying to make sure that he's good enough for you. I think it's great that you met someone.

Buffy: Whoa! You're the late girl.
Willow: I overslept.
Buffy: Till fifth period? Talkin' to Malcolm last night?
Willow: Yeah. (Off Buffy's look) What?
Buffy: Nothing.
Willow: You're having an expression.
Buffy: I'm not. But if I was, it'd be saying, 'This just isn't like you.'
Willow: Not like me to have a boyfriend?
Buffy: He's boyfriendly?
Willow: I don't understand why you don't want me to have this. I mean, boys don't chase me around all the time. I thought you'd be happy for me.
Buffy: I just want you to be sure. To meet him face to face. In daylight, in a crowded place with some friends. Y'know, before you become all... obsessive.
Willow: Malcolm and I really care about each other. Big deal if I blow off a couple classes.
Buffy: I thought you said you overslept.
Willow: Malcolm said you wouldn't understand.
Buffy: Malcolm was right.



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