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"Are you ready, honey?" he asked. "It's going
to be all right. I'll be with you the entire time."
The door opened to four other people. A tall dark haired man
opened the door. She knew instantly who he was.
"Hey, Howie."
"Hi, Kevin. Is he here?"
"Yeah, he is." Kevin nodded solemnly.
Howie walked in, with her following and clutching his hand.
She knew the other men in the room, Brian Littrell
and Nick
Carter. She felt her knees starting to buckle. He wasn't in view, but when she finally saw him, he was
sitting at the piano,
plinking a few keys. His black suit looked slept in.
"AJ?" Howie asked.
He looked up, eyes hidden behind sunglasses.
"AJ? This is Lexie." Howie said. She could feel
her senses starting to reel; her stomach began to churn. She was going
to faint. She had prayed for this moment for so long, it was
almost too real.
AJ removed his sunglasses and looked her up and down. She
was taller than Howie, by just about two inches. Long
legs, slim build with long dark hair that fell to the middle
of her back and dark, dark brown eyes. Her complexion was
light, much lighter than Howie's. Howie took a few steps
closer, almost dragging Lexie with him.
"You aren't scared, are you?" AJ asked. She couldn't speak, she only nodded, 'no'.
"You look like your mother." AJ said. She still couldn't speak. "I can't tell you what it means to me
that you're willing to do
this." He said, his voice
cracking. His face fell into his hand.
"Don't cry." She said. She began reaching for him,
but withdrew her hand before he looked up.
"God, she even sounds like her." He said in the
barest of whispers. "I still can't believe you agreed to come. The
doctor
is here to do the preliminary tests." AJ said.
"Of course." She nodded.
She looked up and found a man who seemed to acknowledge that
comment about a doctor. She walked over to him
and began to roll up her sleeves. AJ stood by Howie as they
watched the blood being drawn.
"She's beautiful, Howie." AJ whispered.
"Yes, she is."
"You have every right to be proud of her. You did a
great job."
"I did the best I could." Howie nodded.
"How old is she now?" Nick asked, coming up behind
them.
"Nineteen. Just finished her first
year of college. She's majoring in art
history. She has plans to be a museum curator."
Howie said. The others could hear the pride in his voice.
"I can't believe where the time has gone." Brian
sighed heavily.
"I don't want to talk about it." AJ snapped,
walking out to the deck overlooking the city. All four of the others followed
him
outside.
"You owe her." Howie demanded.
"I don't owe her anything. . ." he began.
"What? She's here being tested
to donate bone marrow for your son, who you named Alexander after yourself,
just like
you did her. She hasn't heard from you in 14 years. .
."
"She had you, she didn't need me." AJ said.
"Let's not have this argument again." Howie
sighed, knowing where this was going. "She's met you now, she may have
questions later." Howie said.
Later?
Howie thought to himself. She's had them all her
life, why would today or tomorrow be any different? When Lexie
was first born, it had been a PR nightmare for the
Backstreet Boys.
AJ's child born out of wedlock.
AJ had tried to make it work with her mother, but left less
than a year after she was born. He never tried to be close to
her. She was 9 when her mother died;
leaving her with no one who wanted her. Single, just turning 35, Howie took
her
in. He dedicated the last 10 years of his life to her. He couldn't resist her huge brown eyes; her tearful hello and
little
freckled nose. He remembered years of leaving her at home so
he could go to BSB functions.
He hadn't wanted to put her through
them. Everyone knew AJ was her father, she even knew it. How many times had
she asked him to call her father, let her talk to him, but
Howie couldn't. She finally quit asking. She got on
with her life
and they never discussed when Howie was with the group or when he was recording or when he went on tour. He
adopted her a year later and she began to call him
‘dad'. None of the guys had ever tried to talk
him out of adopting
her, but there was a strain after Howie asked AJ to sign his
parental rights away to him.
Alexandra Janelle McLean Dorough.
Lexie Dorough really seemed to
fit her.
When the call came in about little Alex,
that he had been diagnosed with leukemia, AJ told him they needed a donor who
was preferably a sibling.
Howie asked Lexie and she agreed without hesitation. So,
ten years later and here they were.
Standing out on a hotel deck, arguing about who should do
what while an unknown doctor drew blood from her body to
save the son of a man who refused to be her father.
"Dad?" Lexie asked, standing at the door to the
deck. She was holding a cotton ball folded in her arm. "They're done
with me."
Howie felt the feeling of the group change. Her voice, her presence made her suddenly more real and seem to snap
them back to reality. He could feel the heat of anger rising
to his cheeks, although he tempered his tone in front of her.
"I'll be right there, honey." Howie smiled.
"AJ?" she asked. He turned and looked at her.
"I'm sorry about your son." She said. "I hope
I'm a good match."
"We all do, honey." Howie said.
"You did a great job, Howie." AJ said quietly,
watching her turn away and walk back inside.
"I did my best." Howie said. "If she asks,
will you spend time with her? Get to know her?"
"Maybe when all of this is over and Alex is better. .
."AJ began.
Howie had to ask, even if he already knew the answer. AJ had
made his decision 10 years ago and now they were all
going to live with it.
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